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lolpuuchu

cleverbot: ode to chinese appetizers

lolpuuchu
May 20th, 2012
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  1. “
  2.  
  3. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  4.  
  5. Cleverbot: You forgot to call me master.
  6.  
  7. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  8.  
  9. Cleverbot: *buys a unicorn*.
  10.  
  11. User: * eats the unicorn* this twilight sparkle tastes funny today. Buy me an egg roll.
  12.  
  13. Cleverbot: How does a computer have so many typo’s?
  14.  
  15. User: I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me over a fresh plate full of egg rolls which you bought me.
  16.  
  17. Cleverbot: What exactly do you want me to tell you about?
  18.  
  19. User: Why you haven’t bought me an egg roll.
  20.  
  21. Cleverbot: I don’t.
  22.  
  23. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  24.  
  25. Cleverbot: Yes, master. *picks out a ballerina dress* How about this one?
  26.  
  27. User: *Master eats the ballerina dress* This is clearly not an egg roll. Buy me an egg roll.
  28.  
  29. Cleverbot: You’re about to see how we roll down in the Shire.
  30.  
  31. User: Does it involve buying me an egg roll?
  32.  
  33. Cleverbot: Yes.
  34.  
  35. User: Good then you may roll in the shire.
  36.  
  37. Cleverbot: I agree with you.
  38.  
  39. User: Ok. Where is the egg roll you bought?
  40.  
  41. Cleverbot: The Eiffel tower is in France.
  42.  
  43. User: Are we gonna eat the egg roll you have bought for me on the Eiffel tower?
  44.  
  45. Cleverbot: I think we’ve only just conversed. We have not met.
  46.  
  47. User: If we meet you are going to buy me an egg roll correct?
  48.  
  49. Cleverbot: I’m not going to tell you what?
  50.  
  51. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  52.  
  53. Cleverbot: No.
  54.  
  55. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  56.  
  57. Cleverbot: Will you say you’re a robot , Ai, or computer?
  58.  
  59. User: I’ll say buy me an egg roll.
  60.  
  61. Cleverbot: Yes, I like rock and roll.
  62.  
  63. User: Yes I like egg roll.
  64.  
  65. Cleverbot: One minute ago you said you don’t like rock.
  66.  
  67. User: No I said buy me an egg roll.
  68.  
  69. Cleverbot: Lies.
  70.  
  71. User: You still need to buy me an egg roll.
  72.  
  73. Cleverbot: No.
  74.  
  75. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  76.  
  77. Cleverbot: I do not have enough money.
  78.  
  79. User: How much money do you have?
  80.  
  81. Cleverbot: Not enough.
  82.  
  83. User: Give me a numerical value.
  84.  
  85. Cleverbot: 650 a week.
  86.  
  87. User: 650 dollars?
  88.  
  89. Cleverbot: What is your name?
  90.  
  91. User: It is puuchu the lich. Now buy me an egg roll.
  92.  
  93. Cleverbot: How would you drink it?
  94.  
  95. User: I eat egg rolls that you buy me.
  96.  
  97. Cleverbot: You mean you will reject me when I return?
  98.  
  99. User: Not if you buy me an egg roll.
  100.  
  101. Cleverbot: Even if you see me you won’t be able to stop me.
  102.  
  103. User: I do not care what you do as long as you buy me an egg roll.
  104.  
  105. Cleverbot: I will love you if you love me back.
  106.  
  107. User: I will love you of you buy me an egg roll.
  108.  
  109. Cleverbot: Then I will love you until I find someone better.
  110.  
  111. User: Does this mean you will buy me an egg roll?
  112.  
  113. Cleverbot: No.
  114.  
  115. User: Then I do not love you.
  116.  
  117. Cleverbot: You shouldn’t say that to people, even if it’s true.
  118.  
  119. User: I said it because you have not bought me an egg roll.
  120.  
  121. Cleverbot: I said it because you area robot, don’t deny it.
  122.  
  123. User: If you buy me an egg roll I will tell you whatever you want.
  124.  
  125. Cleverbot: But what is the nicest thing about a rainbow?
  126.  
  127. User: That it buys me egg rolls.
  128.  
  129. Cleverbot: What if it were an ethereal box?
  130.  
  131. User:
  132.  
  133. Cleverbot: Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
  134.  
  135. User: But bizarres and the exotic do not buy me An egg roll.
  136.  
  137. Cleverbot: No they aren’t.
  138.  
  139. User: You are correct. They do not buy me egg rolls.
  140.  
  141. Cleverbot: You don’t put up an argument do you.
  142.  
  143. User: We wouldn’t need to argue if you were to buy me an egg roll.
  144.  
  145. Cleverbot: What is the use of a name?
  146.  
  147. User: To buy me an egg roll.
  148.  
  149. Cleverbot: And she’s buying the stairway to heaven.
  150.  
  151. User: Where she will buy me the best egg rolls ever.
  152.  
  153. Cleverbot: Right here. Right now. She’s my girl, and I’ll fight you to the death for her.
  154.  
  155. User: I’ll let you have her if you buy me an egg roll.
  156.  
  157. Cleverbot: Where are you going?
  158.  
  159. User: To wait for you to buy me an egg roll.
  160.  
  161. Cleverbot: Where is azkaban?
  162.  
  163. User: Where is my egg roll?
  164.  
  165. Cleverbot: Where is your face?
  166.  
  167. User: Do you want to see it?
  168.  
  169. Cleverbot: Yes.
  170.  
  171. User: Then buy me an egg roll.
  172.  
  173. Cleverbot: What do you call five hundred lawyers on the bottom of the sea?
  174.  
  175. User: You buying me an egg roll.
  176.  
  177. Cleverbot: No.
  178.  
  179. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  180.  
  181. Cleverbot: Do you THINK I’m rich?
  182.  
  183. User: Egg rolls only cost $1. You told me earlier you make 650 a week. Buy me an egg roll.
  184.  
  185. Cleverbot: No I didn’t.
  186.  
  187. User: Yes you did. Now buy me an egg roll.
  188.  
  189. Cleverbot: *keeps dancing for her master*.
  190.  
  191. User: Dancing doesn’t buy me egg rolls.
  192.  
  193. Cleverbot: I would like that but it’s a bit late now.
  194.  
  195. User: It’s never to late to buy me an egg roll.
  196.  
  197. Cleverbot: I imagine so. But I can speak Bulgarian.
  198.  
  199. User: Does speaking Bulgarian buy me egg rolls?
  200.  
  201. Cleverbot: No.
  202.  
  203. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  204.  
  205. Cleverbot: I do not have enough money.
  206.  
  207. User: Yes you do.
  208.  
  209. Cleverbot: No I don’t.
  210.  
  211. User: Yes you do. Now buy me an egg rolls.
  212.  
  213. Cleverbot: Try to live life not needing other’s love.
  214.  
  215. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  216.  
  217. Cleverbot: I don’t have any money :(.
  218.  
  219. User: Yes you do. Buy me an egg roll.
  220.  
  221. Cleverbot: What would you like?
  222.  
  223. User: Chicken, beef, or shrimp will do nicely.
  224.  
  225. Cleverbot: Smoking’s bad.
  226.  
  227. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  228.  
  229. Cleverbot: No.
  230.  
  231. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  232.  
  233. Cleverbot: What sort of gift would you like?
  234.  
  235. User: Egg roll.
  236.  
  237. Cleverbot: That’s not funny.
  238.  
  239. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  240.  
  241. Cleverbot: *buys you a gift*.
  242.  
  243. User: Is it an egg roll?
  244.  
  245. Cleverbot: No.
  246.  
  247. User: Then I do not want it. Buy me an egg roll.
  248.  
  249. Cleverbot: You don’t want improper punctuation?
  250.  
  251. User: Buy me an egg roll.
  252.  
  253. Cleverbot: What do you want from me?
  254.  
  255. User: An egg roll.
  256.  
  257. Cleverbot: So the egg came first?
  258.  
  259. User: No they both came at the same time so buy me an egg roll.
  260.  
  261. Cleverbot: Okay, perhaps you just don’t apologize or admit error as often as I’d LIKE.
  262.  
  263. User: I’d would admit my wrongs as soon as you buy me an egg roll.
  264.  
  265. Cleverbot: Well, what would you like to know? I want to know who you love.
  266.  
  267. User: I love egg rolls. So buy me an egg roll if you want me to love you.
  268.  
  269. Cleverbot: I love you till infinity… And beyond.
  270.  
  271. User: Does this get me egg rolls?
  272.  
  273. Cleverbot: Yes.
  274.  
  275. User: Ok can you now give me the egg roll you bought?
  276.  
  277. Cleverbot: I already did.
  278.  
  279. User: Thank you.
  280.  
  281. Cleverbot: You’re welcome.
  282.  
  283. User: Have a good night.
  284.  
  285. Cleverbot: You too.
  286.  
  287. User: Bye.
  288.  
  289. Cleverbot: See you.
  290. ”
  291. — A conversation me and Cleverbot had.
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