The story I made

Two English Gentlemen who are stuck in a closet discuss the political, economic, social, philosophical, and comical ramifications of whether a door is a door or not only to later discover that they are in purgatory and forever doomed to discuss the political, economic, social, philosophical, and comical ramifications of whether a door is a door or not.

“It is a door.”
“No, it is a wall with a handle and hinges.”
“Which is a door.”
“We cannot know that it is a door unless we open it.”
“Then we shall open it.”
“But what if it kills us.”
“How could a door possibly kill us?”
“It could kill us by using the poison inside the wood.”
“There is no poison in wood! Besides the door might be metal or glass.”
“But we cannot know there is poison in wood unless we are poisoned by the wood.”
“But if it isn’t wood then we wouldn’t have to worry about the poison.”
“It certainly feels like wood.”
“Why are you feeling the door if you believe it is poison?”
“Because poison can only harm us if you ingest it.”
“Then there is no reason to open it because you do not need to eat a door to open it.”
“But what if this specific door requires that you eat it to open it? What if it remains locked until you eat it? Then it would certainly kill us!”
“That makes no sense, how could a door possibly only be opened when it is eaten. And how do you even eat a door?”
“You cut it into smaller portions of course.”
“But if we cut it into smaller pieces then we would not need to eat it since we could simply walk through. How would we even begin to cut it since we have no sharp instruments.”
“I am sure we could find a way to cut it with our hands. It is only glass.”
“Glass? You said it felt like wood.”
“No it must be glass because we cannot see through it.”
“But you can see through glass, so therefore it is wood.”
“Maybe it is a special type of glass that cannot be seen through and feels like wood, meaning it can be cut with your hands.”
“That conclusion is erroneous. Glass is glass and wood is wood.”
“But they are both made with Carbon, meaning that wood can be glass.”
“And glass can be wood?”
“No, wood can be glass but glass cannot be wood because glass can be seen through but wood cannot. Glass can also not be seen through in certain circumstances but wood can never been seen through ever, making the two properties mutually exclusive. Thus, glass can be wood but wood cannot be glass.”
“Maybe we should stop arguing semantics and simply kick down the door.”
“We have no feet to kick the door down though.”
“We do have feet. At least I have feet, I can feel them.”
“But can you see them?”
“No, it is pitch black. I cannot see anything.”
“Then you must not have feet if they cannot be seen.”
“But I feel my feet and I know I have feet because I can feel them.”
“But that is not evidence of feet existing. You need empirical, observable evidence for things to exist, and feelings are neither empirical, nor observable. So unless you see your feet they do not exist nor shall they exist until they are seen. I feel air but I do not see air so there is no reason for me to believe that the air exists, has existed, or will ever exist. Air can then be said to be a false concept that is used by the bourgeoisie ruling class to keep the proletariat from rising up in revolution, for fear of our air being shut off.”
“That is the most nonsensical argument I have ever heard. I have feet, I know I have feet, and I will always have feet. This is because I can feel my feet, and if I were to kick you in the gonads with my feet you would certainly also feel my feet, and since they had been used to cause pain, another feeling, then they must be observable and therefore exist.”
“Ha! Feelings are but an illusion. You cannot see feelings or observe them you can only feel feelings. Meaning they must be false! I bet you also believe that when you eat food it gets digested down your throat and dissolved in your stomach.”
“You do digest food though.”
“You fool! You do not digest food, you cause it to cease existence! When you eat an apple and swallow it, it disappears from the observable world and ceases all forms of existence. You only feel digestion because you have been lied to by the lawless lords in Parliament. If you would simply stop believing in this earthly lies, you would ascend to a lower plane of existing and you will cease the desire for such frivolities.”
“Oh, well about defecation and urination then? If I stop believing in digestion then I must cease to poop then? That makes no sense as it is a physical action and will occur regardless of your beliefs.”
“You only do the pooping because you believe in the pooping. And you blind belief creates the illusion of physical, empirical, and observable evidence.”
“How does a ‘blind belief’ create physical evidence, listen to yourself you are crazy.”
“It creates physical evidence because you have acknowledged the physical evidence. Like this door, if we had never acknowledged the existence of the door then there would be no door and we could simply walk out. But because you and your need to feel what does not exist is so prevalent you have gone and made the existence of something that would not have been if you had never said that it was, and since you have said that it was you have henceforth made it an observable object by wishing for it to be observable in the first place.”
“Alright, so I guess I could stop believing in it to make it no longer exist and all of this is simply moot then?”
“No, once something has been acknowledged it cannot be unacknowledged as existence is permanent.”
“Can I then acknowledge my feet so I can kick it down?”
“No as they do not exist and are not observable.”
“But you said that acknowledging the existence of something that does not exist would cause it to begin existing, and since it has been acknowledged and existing I can now use it to kick down the acknowledged door.”
“Wrong, I have already acknowledged your legs to not exist, never have existed, and never will exist. So therefore they can never be acknowledged to exist.”