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BadFicWriter

Fluffy and the cut grass

May 30th, 2012
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  1. >You have just got finished cutting your grass.
  2. >You have raked your cuttings up into a small hill of hay for your fluffy.
  3. >It’s a hot day and you are in sandals and shorts.
  4. >You walk inside to get your fluffy pony.
  5. >You bring her outside to feast on your cuttings when you notice a stray fluffy already eating them.
  6. >It is a light grey male unicorn with a dark gray mane.
  7. >”Oooo, fwen shawe nummies!” You fluffy yells and jumps out of your arms.
  8. >”Hold on princess, that might be a mean fluffy!”
  9. >The grey unicorn turns around and sees your fluffy.
  10. >”Stay way! This my nummies!” It yells.
  11. >”Wah, nuu daddah made nummies for fwuffy! Fwuffy shawe nummies!” She says with a smile.
  12. >”No! Des my nummies now, you weave.
  13. >Your fluffy starts to tear up, “But dada made nummies for fwuffy….”
  14. >You walk up and say, ”Ok there mister bully, those belong to my fluffy and you need to leave.”
  15. >The unicorn puffs its cheeks and starts throwing sparkles at you.
  16. >”You go way munsta! These my nummies! This my awea now!”
  17. >”Listen guy, you’re upsetting my fluffy and if you don’t leave I’ll have to get my sorry stick.”
  18. >”Me no cawe! My nummies! Go way or me make yoo sowwy!”
  19. >Your fluffy is out right bawling now, “Y-yoo meanie f-fwuf-fy! Y-y-yoo bad to d-d-dadda! Wh-why m-m-meani!”
  20. >The unicorn stomps at your fluffy scaring her making her run back to the house crying the whole way.
  21. >”Yoo weave too or me make yoo cwy!”
  22. >You sigh, you hate being mean. You turn and walk back to the house.
  23. >PPppffffffffttttttttppppfftttTTtt!
  24. >You feel the hot steamy liquid shit rolling down the back of your legs and onto your sandals.
  25. >”HAHAHAHA!! Me tell hoomin go way! Me make hoomin sowwy!” You hear the unicorn fluffy gloat.
  26. >You walk to your house hearing the unicorn resume it’s eating.
  27. >Your fluffy is hiding behind a trashcan crying as you go into your house.
  28. >You walk to the closet and grab the broom.
  29. >You turn and stop, you put back the broom and grab the car radio antennae.
  30. >You walk back outside to where the grey unicorn is, it looks up and sees you.
  31. >It faces you and puffs its cheeks again.
  32. >”Yoo go way or me make yoo sowyy again!” it yells.
  33. >You get into a fencing stance with the antennae, “A duel then!”
  34. >The fluffy runs up and butts your leg with all the force it can muster.
  35. >”Me gif owwies to dum munsta hoomin!” It yells angrily.
  36. >You step back bringing the tip of the antennae down hard across the bridge of the unicorn’s nose.
  37. >Its face flies down into the dirt, it starts to back pedal to get away from you.
  38. >”AHHHHH!! Why yoo hewt me! Yoo meanie!”
  39. >In a sweeping motion you swipe the sides of the fluffy’s face hitting both cheeks.
  40. >*wack*wack*
  41. >”NUUUUU!!!” it yells with tears coming down its face.
  42. >Welts rise almost immediately where you struck.
  43. >The fluffy turns to run away exposing its back side to you.
  44. >You focus on the rear end of the slowly fleeing fluffy.
  45. >*wackitywackitywackitywackitywackitywack*
  46. >”AHHHHHH! Hewp! Hewp munsta attacking fwuffy!” the grey unicorn screams.
  47. >It is running and jumping in between swipes.
  48. >It poops and pees the entire time in pain and panic.
  49. >The fluffy sees your over turned wheel barrow and runs underneath it to get away from you.
  50. >You say, “Come on out, all will be forgiven.”
  51. >The unicorn comes out, “Weally!”
  52. >”No!” *Wack!* You hit it in the bridge of its nose again.
  53. >”Waaahhh!!! Meanie hoomin twick fwuffy!” it says trying to run away again.
  54. >You start hitting its rear with all your might.
  55. >*WACK* “You will leave this yard!”
  56. >*WACK* “You will never return!”
  57. >*WACK* “You got that!”
  58. >*WACK*
  59. >”Waahhhhh! Waahhh!!! Fwuffy sowwy! Fwuffy weave! Pwease stop with owwies and ouchies!” it cries.
  60. >You chase it to the end of your yard then kick it into the woods.
  61. >You see it running away crying the whole time and welts all over its face and rear.
  62. >You spray off the shit from your legs and sandals then walk to your fluffy.
  63. >”Daddy took care of that meanie fluffy, you can eat now.”
  64. >The fluffy sniffles and hugs you, “Tank yoo dada..”
  65. >”No problem, now who wants to eat some fresh grass and to play with blocks!”
  66. >Your fluffy raises her hooves, “Oooo! Oooo! Me dada! Me!”
  67. >You smile and your fluffy is laughing, life is good.
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