I sexually Identify as a Transatlantic Cable.

I sexually Identify as a Transatlantic Cable. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of getting laid across the ocean with telegraphic signals being sent through me. People say to me that a person being an undersea cable is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install seven copper wires, 18 strands of 7 iron wires each and salt water on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Atlantic Telegraph" and respect my right to carry telegraphic signals and connect North America to Europe. If you can't accept me you're a transatlantaphobe and need to check your overland privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.