Twas the night before christmas, and in oakleys house,
nothing was stirring, except for his mouse.
He knew  chris and tyler, had left for some food,
and decided to perform, an act that was lewd

he nestled his hand all snug in his crotch,
and  had visions of hockey that he would soon watch.
all day he was wearing his swim trunks of course,
while exuding the smell of a leperous horse.
he began to fondle his miniscule tool
not knowing that he would soon feel a fool

When the door opened up, oakley ran like a flash,
into the bathroom where he'd finish his fap.
forgot was the fact that his fappin chair rocked,
and also forgot to grab his spooge sock.

after a minute or two, or maybe three,
 oakley pretended that he had just peed.
he came back out like naught was the matter
and so he was greeted by thunderous laughter

hey wash your hands if you want this indo
becasue we saw you from outside the window
he denied it and thought he was slick but was not
and didnt know of the glimpse that we got

and so later on the truth half came out
he admitted to fappin with a big grumpy pout.
and when we called him a fappin chair jockey
we also asked why he jerked off to hockey.

He closed with a click Jason's myspace page
and began to rant in his salvia rage!
IT WAS SOFTCORE YOU FAGS, I WAS NOT WATCHIN HOCKEY!
YOU GUYS ARE LYIN,  YOU NEVER SAW ME!

Oakley was angry, both chris and i saw,
and began to throw nuggets, into his maw.
he devoured them quickly, then guzzled the sauce
and then started screaming, at his poker loss

I NEVER WIN, AT TEXAS HOLD EM!
I HAVE GOOD HANDS, BUT  HAVE TO FOLD EM!
I NEED A THREE, YOU GAY ASS SHIT!
and delivered his keyboard a mighty hit
the desk he was sitting, at shook and it creaked
but chris and i laughed, at what we had peeked.
it seemed to us both, that oakley was slow
but still good for laughs, when he put on a show.
such as that time, he was playin playstation
and quickly reached, the point of aggravation.
he cursed and he spit, and proclaimed it was shit
i shook my head, and a joint was soon lit.
we smoked and we puffed then we didnt agree
because oakley was saying my weed was wimpy
i said ok fine, you are done smoking mine
you can  go smoke on some needles of pine
then oakley giggled, the sound of a cew..
and then tugged up his swim trunks that smelled of poo

and after we smoked, oakley did eat
a platter of nuggets that would feed three at least.
he was chewing so much, i thought he had gum
and he also amassed, a fortress of crumbs
on keyboard and carpet, and even the mouse
nothing was spared, orange stains in his house.
the worst thing was, that he had four stomachs
yes just like a cow, cuz he is a lummox.


after some weed, and about three good quarts
we asked him again, of his fappin chair sports

when oakley replied, he seemed quite forlorn
and insisted yet still, it was softcore porn.
but still i persisted, and brought up a point
that was mostly induced, by my previous joint.

its softcore you say, but wait just a minute
last time i checked, it had no time limit
and i also saw something that made my mind click
it was six men, and they all carried sticks
i saw osgood, macdonald, and even haseck
but wait im not finished, ill name three more yet
i also spied norton,and cleary, and lang
before i spied you boxing your wang.

as i lit up a newport, and blew out the smoke
i decided to continue, our wonderful joke
and i giggled and guffawed before i spoke

hey oakley my friend, ill give you a hint
you should have started, right after we went
and dont even bitch, about us not knockin
because the door, your dumbass should be lockin
and dont deny, you were puddy sockin
because the rocker, was magically rockin
and even if those, were not a good clue
i heard you running, and chris did too.

he turned a bit pink and denied it was hockey
but it wasnt softcore, or even bukkakke

after a couple, more smokes and some drinks,
and after an hour, i took a few leaks
i could tell, that oakley was  steamed
so chris and i, decided to leave.
as we gathered our things, and we walked out the door
we offered to buy oakley, a chinese whore
and then he replied, with these words that today,
will not leave my mind, ever, no way

He said that he hoped we enjoyed our tacos,
NOW GET THE FUCK OUT  YOU MOTHAFawCKOHHS!





The Night Before Oakley.txt
Displaying The Night Before Oakley.txt.