Thunderbird Tango

“Let me be blunt here Dusty Williams. Deadwood has a fucking problem that needs to be fixed and you're my solution.”

Just a few hours ago I dragged myself into the Running Dagger Saloon after chasing a bounty under the badlands sun for about three days. Sat down a table and ordered a nice cool drink when suddenly every damn person in the bar drew their guns and pointed them at my head. Not exactly standard business for a bounty hunter but I was already pretty used to being held at gunpoint. So, I followed the first rule of being held at gunpoint, do whatever they guy tells you to do.

Turns out the Sheriff had been looking for me and knew the Running Dagger was my favorite watering hole in his town of Deadwood, so he sent a few of his men to wait at the saloon for my timely arrival. After they detained me, they were too liberate me of my weapons, then throw me into a cell. Which leads me to now, with the obese one-eyed Sheriff of Deadwood city, Marcellus M. Males, pacing back and forth in front of me with a very angry look on his face.

“I know you’ve caused us a lot of trouble the past few years Dusty but if you do as I say I’m sure we can all avoid having to kill you,” said the Sheriff as he angrily glared at me.

“Listen Sheriff, I was tailing a Lamia wanted for one hundred and fifty fucking dollars when I dropped by your shithole of a town for a drink,” I replied with a glare“,Then your men come and throw me into fucking shit stained cell for four and a half fucking hours and now you want me to do your dirty work. You really have to work on your fucking sales pitch there Sheriff.”

"As much as I fucking hate you, I need the help of the bounty hunter who cleaned the badlands of the Calamity Sisters and ‘Black Jack’ Robin.”

“Well then you and your town are fucked Sheriff,” I retorted with a smirk.

Obviously very pissed off, the Sheriff grabbed me by the collar then threw me to the wall like an angry pitbull deprived of food. He pulled me close enough that I could smell his pungent breath as he snarled with a voice dripping with animosity.  Glaring into me with his one good eye he snarled, “Dusty I am not fucking around right now. You will cooperate or I will have you hung.”

“On what grounds.”

“Let’s see arson, assault, breaking and entering, hostage taking, manslaughter, murder, vandalism, kidnappings, fraud, forgery.... The list goes fucking on and on.” he growled, “Do you want me to keep going?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve only committed half of the crimes you’ve just mentioned.”

“Still enough to get you hung in half-an-hour.”

“Fucking frontier justice.”

“Love it or hate it Dusty, but you are going to help us out or die.”

Sheriff was had always been a relatively fair man who tried the keep the city of Deadwood as safe as he could. Though he was sometimes a bit too willing to bend the law but that was due to the nature of the city he was policing. Deadwood sits right next to the largest gold mine west side of the country, which was perhaps the most lawless side of the country. The promise of gold and adventure led to the mass migration of adventure seeking single males to Deadwood making it the city with the highest population of young males for miles. The high population of single young men then led to the massive migration of monster folk for obvious reason. The equation of a crowd of rowdy single young men looking for adventure and a horde of lustful monster folk on the prowl for a good time gets you Deadwood city’s legendary crime rate.

Human trafficking is rampant and fights break out every damn day. On a typical week at least one major event happens ranging from a building getting demolished by a minotaur trying to impress her boyfriend to the sudden disappearance of all the eight year old little boys in Deadwood. Just yesterday two fire elementals got into a fight over some poor sap and almost burnt down half of the damn town. The town’s militia is stretched thin enough so the Sheriff is highly reliant on “outside help” like me to keep the town safe. I knew the Sheriff was going to convince me to do his dirty work one way or the other so I decided to at least try to get the best out of it.

“Alright Sheriff since you’re such a damn fine pal I’ll lend you a helping hand. But I want you to at least compensate me for my efforts in aiding your humble town.” I said while beaming my friendliest smile at him.

“The town’s broke. The only reward I’ve got for you is your life, take it or leave it.” said the Sheriff before he dropped me to the ground.

“Well what can I say, you’ve really got me by the balls this time,” I said as I threw up my hands in surrender,“ who the hell do you want me to knab this time? It better not be another fucking Salamander.”

“As much as I would like to see you trick a Salamander into a pitfall trap I need you to take out something worse.”

“What the fuck could be worse than a Salamander? Vampires?”

“Vampires in the sunniest part of this country? You really are a fucking retard aren’t you.”

“Yeah well you’re a flaming homosexual.”

“And that’s why they made me Sheriff,” he said with a face as straight as an ironing board.

“Well you learn something new everyday.” I remarked before quickly moving back to topic at hand, “So who do you want gone?”

Sheriff tipped his hat back over his eyes then slowly eased his back on to one of the cell walls.

“You know those Indians that we had you remove after they started attacking our settlements?”

“The ones who kept blithering about their god and how it was going to protect them before I rode a sandworm into their land? What about them?”

“Well turns out their god is real.”

“This just isn’t my day,” I said with a long sigh.

“You see the Indians and their god had a little agreement,” continued the Sheriff obviously ignoring my anguish“,they bring her handsome young men as sacrifices once every five to ten years and the god keeps them safe from invaders and brings them good weather. Then after you rode a sandworm into their land and managed to convince them that the sandworm was the equivalent of their messiah, the Indians all started worshiping the worm. Then they all packed up and left their land to become nomads following the worm to their promised land, which apparently is Utah.”

“Good, this means they can kill those fucking Mormons for us.”

“The bad part is with no steady supply of sacrifices the god decided to target us civilized folk in search for victims. I’ve been getting complaints from the surrounding towns so I tried hiring some mercenaries to take out the god.” he grimaced. “I’ve already sent the Ringo Triplets and even Deadeye Kidd to take out our little monstrosity but they’ve all come back empty handed.”

Now this was getting me very nervous. The Ringo Triplets were a team of harpies that could raze an entire town down to the ground if they felt like it. They’ve managed to take down many notorious bounties from the Mad Minotaur Mindy and the elusive Chief of the Awaganailitch Tribe. The Kidd was no push over either. She was a Cyclops quick draw that could toss a playing card up into the air and split it edgewise with a single well placed shot. We’ve worked together before to take down the Calamity Sisters, a gang of girtablilu that had terrorized the west. If something was good enough to evade both the Ringo Triplets and Kidd then that would narrow it’s identity to just a few monsters. Either the Sheriff wants me to take down Cthulhu or a.......

“Dusty, what I need you to get rid of is a thunder bird.”

Fuck.

If any of the monsterfolk were worthy of being mistaken as a god, then its a thunderbird. Not only do they have the speed of a raptor and the mobility of a hummingbird, but they also have maddeningly good vision with reflexes to go with it. They can out fly a locomotive and their claws can shred iron like paper. If their insane speed and head crunchingly powerful claws weren’t bad enough, they can discharge lightning to fry their foes into a nice hunk of charcoal. I’ve heard tales of how the oldest of the thunderbirds grow so strong they can ionize the air around them into plasma.

With a sigh filled with equal parts despair and acceptance I slowly strutted outside of my holding cell to grab my gear. Outside the Sheriff's office was a long and lanky man with dirty blonde hair riding on an equally long and lanky horse. Andrew J. Tucker better known as 'Stone Heart Andy'. A man who was the physical opposite of the short and pudgy Sheriff and also a man with a major stick up his ass. Andy was a hard boiled mercenary hired by the Sheriff to help him police the town. He was a hard assed son of a bitch who would have you in the cells for a week for even a trivial crime like pickpocketing. Even worse he was as silent as a Nightmare during the day and as stubborn as a god damn wurm making him impossible to negotiate with. Did I also mention that he’s Deadwood’s worst wingman?

“Andy what the fuck do you want?” I hollered, sauntering slowly towards the mercenary.

“Sheriff hired me to make sure you don’t run off,” he drawled while slowly lowering the rim of his stetson at me.

“Eat shit Andy,” I yelled back, “Did you bring my gear?”

“One single action ivory gripped revolver with eighteen rounds to go with it, one lever action trail carbine with twelve shots to go with it, one sawn-off double barrel shotgun with twenty slugs to go with it, and 3 sticks of dynamite.” Andy replied nasalizing ever item like a bored cashier.

“That’s all for weapons?” I asked.

Andy had listed off all of the weapons that I normally carry around with me but I wanted to check if the Sheriff was lending me any weapons from Deadwood's special armory this time around. Since I was going against a thunderbird I was hoping that the Sheriff was going to lend me the cloak of wind which would protect me from the lightening or the ancient musket that shot out globs of water instead of bullets.

“Eyup”

Well looks like he’s not lending me any weapons this time. Maybe he’s giving me the canteen that refills itself everyday or maybe the unbreakable rope used to hold the strongest of monsters.

“What about my equipment?” I asked hopefully.

“One book of matches, one lighter, one Bowie Knife, one hand axe, three blankets, two canister of water, one flask of whiskey, five lengths of rope, one teddy bear....”

“Okay I get it, the Sheriff’s a cheap fucker and is giving me only what I carried on me to town.” I angrily complained while kicking some dust in the air.

“Eyup”

“Well what the hell are you waiting for Andy, lets go knab us a thunderbird.”

And with that Andy and I traveled out into the wastes in search of the elusive thunderbird. Normally, tracking down a thunderbird is like trying to find a needle in a field full of fucking haystacks. But luckily for us this particular thunderbird didn’t seem to care if anyone was tracking her or not. She left many tell tale signs of the thunderbird in the desert wastes. Fulgurites in the sand, flashes of blue lightning, and sheddings of her beautiful feathers told me the general direction of the bird.

The trip was quite nice as we didn’t run into a lot of trouble along the trip. Most of the towns around Deadwood were deserted from the fear of the thunderbird and even the bandits were in hiding. The sun smiled its warm rays over us and there was a gentle breeze through the air. The temperature was quite nice and cool as the rainy season was creeping up on us. The trip would have been perfect if my companion wasn’t a laconic hardass whose only answer was “eyup” or “nope” to any attempts to start a conversation.

Eventually the two of us managed to find the thunderbird’s resting place. It was up in a cave on Dead Man’s Range. Dead Man’s Range has always had a terrible reputation between both humans and the monsters folk. Some people said it was where the devil came to drag her victims down to hell with her. Others said it was the dwelling place of the mad homunculus Four Face Jackie. It took us eleven days to track the bird down and the two of us finally hunkered down for the night. And that was when Andy decided to initiate a conversation for the first time in eleven days.

“So how are you going to take out the thunderbird?” spoke the lanky cowboy as he slowly dragged a puff on a cigar.

“My god it speaks” I melodramatically commented while slowly stirring a can of beans cooking on the fire.

“Eyup”

“Well then let me fill you on my amazing plan Andy,” I stated not taking my eyes of the fire, “I’m going to talk to her.”

“What?”

“No point in taking a life when you don’t need too.” I said as I finished off my portion of the beans, “Monster Folk are like people, there are the reasonable ones and the unreasonable ones. I feel no real hatred for her, in fact I actually kind of feel sorry for her.”

Pulling another long drag from his cigar, Andy then blew a few rings up into the air while staring at the night sky. After stareing his fill of the night sky he turned his head back to me.

“Sorry?”

“From her perspective she was running a pretty sweet gig. She protects a bunch of retarded zealots and in return she receives love, praise, and worship” I said tossing the empty can of beans behind me,“She was living the life until she lost all her clients to a gigantic sandworm. I’d be a little pissed too if somebody took everything away from me regardless if he knew it or not. I owe her a new place in the world so that’s what I’ll try and give her. But if she turns out to be unreasonable, I may have to fight against her.”

“You think you can beat a thunderbird?”asked Andy as he casually raised an eyebrow

“Rainy season is coming up Andy and the rain weakens the thunderbirds,” I said, “All we have to do is wait until it rains then we can take the bird down with force if necessary.”

“You mean you take the bird down,” Andy replied while spooning his share of beans into his mouth.

“I always knew you had my back Andy.” I sighed sarcastically, “Judging by the skies, tomorrow a squall will roll in right around noon. That way I can fall back on second plan if my first plan on giving her a new place to live fails miserably.”

The next day I rode my horse up to the cavern in Dead Man’s Range and waited for the thunderbird to come out. Andy on the other hand rode out into the open wastes with a pair of binoculars and a rifle so he could make sure that I wouldn't try and run. I nervously thumbed at my holster and I slowly rubbed my horse’s neck while I waited. With a snort, my horse rapidly shook her mane while nervously clip-clopping her hooves against the hard badlands soil.

“C’mon Scout,” I whispered while running my hand through her thick black mane, “I know you are just as nervous as I am but we’ve got to at least pretend to be strong.”

Then suddenly in a flurry of sapphire , emerald, and amber feathers the thunderbird shot up from the caverns of Dead Man’s Range and into the sky. She was a captivating beauty with magnificent wings adorned with gold, viridian, and turquoise feathers that shimmered like precious gems in the badlands sun. She had long amber bangs with tinges of cobalt which covered her gleaming right eye.  Jutting out from the back of her head were two long spiky pigtails held in bands of precious silver. For clothes she had a long strip of shiny black leather which covered her slender chest and another which tightly accented her peach-like bottom. She had a face brimming with confidence and charisma to match.

“Human,” she boomed, “What is it that you seek from I, the Great Goddess of the Sky and... " suddenly pausing, the self proclaimed god stared at me with her golden eyes, gears slowly turning in her head, "wait a second....."

-Oh crap. Does she remember me?-

“YOU!” she yelled suddenly discharging lightning into the air, “IT WAS YOU WHO TRICKED MY PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING THAT HERETIC WORM WAS THEIR MESSIAH! How dare you ride that overgrown sausage into my people’s land and trick them into praising that apostate as their savior!”

“To be honest with you I still have no idea how that even worked.” I replied, " I was just trying to scare them off."

“There was a long drought during that summer and my people suffered much. But after you rode the worm into their camp the heavens released its rain for the earth.” she answered painfully, “After a three days of constant rain my people began to believe that that vile creature was the bringer of rain the prophecies spoke of, their holy messiah who would lead them to the land of paradise. When it finally stopped raining I flew out in order to correct my people and show them the power of a true god it was too late. My people had all left me.”

“So why attack the surrounding settlements?” I asked.

“Because I was looking for you,” she smiled with evil intent clearly painted on her face, “But seems like I have no need for that as you’ve come to me!”

Then like a feathered bolt of energy she launched herself at me with the ferocity of a dragon.

“Hyah!” I yelled snapping the horse reigns as hard as I could. Heeding my command, Scout started galloping as fast she could from our enraged pursuer.

The race was on. Scout and I thundered across the badlands speeding away as fast as we could from the vengeful thunderbird. In an effort to stop my escape the thunderbird spread her wings and an arrows of lightning at me. But unfortunately for her, Scout and I had fought against many monsters together of all different shapes and size. The experiences in battle sharply honed Scout’s instinct for danger down to a fine point. Scout effortlessly galloped to the side letting the arrows of electricity splash down on the ground harmlessly where she was once standing. Not expecting Scouts to dodge the thunderbird angrily bit down on her teeth before launching more and more projectiles at our general direction but Scout just kept weaving left and right through the rain of golden arrows with the grace and fluidity of a river.

“GRAaaagh! Stop dodging you stupid horse!”

"Don't mind her Scout,  you are certainly smarter than a bird who can't aim."

"That's it! I am going to KILL YOU!"

With a flap of her wings, the thunderbird produced three lances of energy before launching them at me. But Scout made a quick gallop to the right so that she was running parallel to the bird bringing me a clear shot. Reacting to the opportunity I quickly snatched my shotgun out from my rucksack then launched a bellowing typhoon of metal straight at the thunderbird. But instead of dodging the scraps of iron she merely flapped her wings, releasing a curtain of electricity which smashed the birdshot down to the ground.

-Looks like birdshot won’t take her out.-

I quickly ejected two spent shells of birdshot out of my double barrel then loaded in two slugs of buckshot. I madly fired off my shotgun while she returned fire with her own rain of electricity. She ducked, weaved, feinted, and dodged my every shot while chasing me at high speed. However Scout continued to dodge every projectile the bird shot back at me.

Suddenly the thunderbird shot up high in the sky like a kite with wind on its sails. Now well out of my effective range my shotgun was no longer a viable weapon. Stuffing my shotgun back into my rucksack I then quickly unslung the carbine from my back. Feeling the wood grip in my hands I then quickly took aim before I let my own torrent of projectiles fly.

*BANG*clin-*BANG*clin-*BANG*clin-*BANG*clin-*BANG*cling~~!

-shit she dodged them all-

Then she stopped.

Twisting my head back at the thunderbird I saw her gather up electricity into three condensed orbs. Then with a powerful phumph of her wings she launched the projectiles right at us. The thunder smashed the ground next to Scout and I, throwing up a cloud of rocks and dirt straight into Scout. She let out a distressed whinny but kept thundering on despite her wounds.

“God damn it Scout looks like she’s got a skill against horse riders,” I grimaced.

Then with that I turned myself around on Scout to face the bird flying behind me. Pulling what little bullets I had left from my hat I the quickly stuffed fived bullets into my loading gate. Taking aim once more I then squeezed out two bullets out of the carbine to force a retreat on the bird. Then I rolled off of Scout, firing off the three remaining rounds before I hit the ground.

“Foolish human! You left you’re only hope of survival!” crowed the thunderbird.

“Can’t let my best friend get killed in something stupid like this,” I grinned stupidly while slowly reaching for my holster, “Now this is a familiar scene. Two opponents face to face with the sun high in the sky. Let’s settle this with an old fashioned duel.”

“Very well then,” she replied with an equally cocky grin, “What is your name human.”

“The name’s Dusty,” I said as I tipped my bowler hat back at her.

“That is a good name,” said the thunderbird while meaningfully nodding her head, “Dusty! You should be proud that your end is at the hands of a magnificent thunderbird!”

With fifty feet between us we stared each other down with glares of death. Slowly we circled each other. I casually fingering my 6 shooter and while she slowly beating her wings. Then in a flash she spread her wings apart wide and instantaneously casted one massive beam of electricity at me. Whipping my revolver from its holster I fanned out six bullets at my adversary. My bullets screamed death as they flew but were soon silenced at the might of the thunderbird’s magicl. The bullets merely struck her ray of electricity and disintegrated.

Like a battering ram made of pure energy the bar of light smashed into my body throwing me off my feet. I flew back like a sack potatoes for a good ten feet before I crashed back down on to the earth, skidding a few more inches on my back. Despite been blown ten feet away by a giant beam of electricity I wasn’t dead. Hell I didn’t even hurt. Instead I just felt tingly all over.

Then

I Felt

Hot

Heat and energy coursed through my body like a current of molten lava. It wasn’t any ordinary heat, it was the fires of passion. Lying on my back and panting rapidly I tightly gripped my fists and tried to resist the urges burning down my spine. The magical lightning that had burned through my body was too strong and my resistance only served to increase my yearning for the gentle touch of a woman.


Panting deliriously the thunderbird stomped towards me tearing off the band of black leather covering her chest revealing her modest white chest. Mounting me in a cowgirl fashion she squeezed my lower body with her slender white thighs.

“Make love to me cowboy,” she panted.

Lifting my body up to meet her’s I quickly brought our faces together and pressed my lips against hers hungrily. Together we chased each others tongues in a maniacal ballet of lust. As I started sliding my tongue down her silky white neck and down her collarbone she began grinding her crotch furiously against my dark navy jeans leaving a trail of her juices. As she grinded harder and harder she released more and more magical electricity into the air and coursing through our bodies electrifying every cell of our sweaty naked bodies with more and more lust and passion.

As I moved down to her cute little chest she made an adorable little yelp. I slowly rolled my tongue around her light pink areola before biting down hard with my lips on her hardened tips. Lolling my tongue around one while pinching the other I one-sidedly forced pleasure onto the girl while she breathlessly moaned in pleasure.

“I can’t wait any more...” she moaned as she erotically wiggled her body.

Pushing me back to the ground the thunderbird literally tore off my pants with her powerful black claws then mounted me in the cowgirl position. Poised right above my rod she panted madly, snatch steaming with arousal.

Then suddenly a drop of water fell right down on my face. Wasn't spit or some other type of bodily fluid.

Then ten. Then an entire sky full of water started crashing down on us.

“Kyah!”
“The fuck!”

-Damn rain cockblocki- No wait now’s my chance!-

Lunging forward I quickly pushed the thunderbird down on the ground pinning her weakened body down onto the ground. In an attempt to resists she tried to discharge a bolt of electricity into my face. Instead of frying me to a crisp it merely arched down before weakly sputtering out of existence.

“You bastard!” she spat at me as the rain soaked into her body, “You planned this didn’t you! Just like how you planned the rain when you drove my followers away.”

“Look I didn’t even know you were there! I thought you were a myth those Indians made up!” I hollered over the rain.

“Why do you have to ruin everything!” she screamed at me, “What do you have against me!”

“Calm down,” I begged, “I know you are lonely but please can we just talk it out.”

“Lonely! I am Not Lonely!” she yelled trying to send and electric current through my hands.

But it was already too late. The water had soaked both of our bodies, washing away the magical energies that lit our bodies ablaze with fervor and greed. The water covering her body made her lightening weaker than a hand buzzer and I had a the clear advantage with my body mounted on her chest and my arms pressing down on her wings. Electricity merely sputtered out from her body as she weakly tried to escape from under my mount position.

“Unlonely people don’t go around attack towns for attention,” I said staring deeply into her eyes, “Unlonely people don’t try to kill a person but decide to tie him down to her body afterwards. Trust me I’ve seen loneliness before and I can see it in your face.”

“I-I’m not...  I-I-i wasn’t.... l-lonel....”

Then like water bursting from a broken dam the girl under my arms finally broke down. The mask of the powerful goddess crumbled leaving only a lonely little girl behind. Hot wet tears and rain streamed down her face the girl cried her heart out.

Slowly pulling her off from the ground I wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. Moving one arm up I rested it on top of her head gently stroking her wet amber hair. She then wrapped her two long beautiful wings around my back and buried her face into my chest, sobs violently shaking her body.

“We really got off at a bad foot didn’t we,” I said while slowly rubbing her back, “Why don’t we give it another go. Let’s see. How about we start with introductions!

Well first off, my full name is Dustin James Williams but my friends just call me Dusty. I was born not knowing my biological parents but I was raised by a gang of werewolves. Guess the experience of having four rambunctious older sisters and two cuddly younger ones really prepared me for my job as a bounty hunter. Hell I still have a few scars from the fights I got into with my sisters. Don’t have many hobbies but I can play a mean harmonica. What about you?”

“M-m-my name is Cholena,” replied the girl while drying her eyes on my chest. “My family have been acting as the deities of protection for the Kwah’ Kwah’ Khawazani for many years. After my mother passed roughly a year ago I took over her job as the god of the Khawazanis.”

“Cholena,” I grinned positively, “That’s a beautiful name.”

Silently the young girl rubbed her face against my chest. I could’ve sworn that I could make out a blush and a smile on her pretty face. The two of us held each other in the pouring rain for a while sharing each others warmth.

“Cholena, I’ve honestly fucked with your life really badly,”I started, “Whether I knew it or not I honestly ruined your life and I am really sorry for everything.I know I took away everything from you but I would like to make things up to you.”

“Really?” she said staring up at me with her tear stained face.

“Yeah,” I smiled, “I took away your home so the only thing I can do is give you another. There’s a town nearby called Deadwood. Sure its got a morbid name but I know you’ll like it there. There are all sorts of monster folk and humans living in an odd sort of harmony. It’s as active as a festival everyday and you’re sure to have a great time there, so as long as you don’t work as a lawman there.”

“Will you be there with me?” she said looking up at me with eyes filled with hope.

“I’m a wanderer by nature,” I said with a smile, “But tell you what, I’m pretty sure I can convince the Sheriff to give you a cushy place and a job up in Deadwood. He owes me just that much. And every once in a while when, when I cross into Deadwood I’ll stay with you a while.”

“Y-y-you promise?”

“Yeah...”

Right then and there a magical moment sprung up between us. We stared into each others eyes this time not with lust but with love. Together we slowly leaned into each other with my hand gently grasping her wing the same way two human lovers would hold hands. As I reached close to her face I could smell her delicate feminine scent mixed with rain and of blossoms. Slowly and hesitantly I lightly touched her glistening pink lips against mine. After we broke apart from our kiss she stared with a dazed expression on her face before leaning back in. Lightly pecking my lips with the innocence of a schoolgirl she then pulled her face back and blushed. Then finally we leaned for a deep ki-

clip clop clip clop clip clop

-Is that a fucking horse?-

“You done yet?”

Riding on his long and lanky horse was the laconic cowboy, Andy. As soon as he saw me and Cholena hugging each other nearly naked he merely raised his eyebrows and smirked.

“God damn it Andy,”I glared, “From now on you are no longer ‘Stone Heart Andy’ to me anymore. You are now ‘Cockblock Andy’.”

“Well Dusty now that your business is concluded I can go back to Deadwood.”

“What about my fucking horse?”

“Ran off.”

“And you didn’t bother to go look for her?”

“Nope.”

“I fucking hate you.”

“Eyup”

On the trip back “Cockblock Andy” pretty much left saying that since I subdued the thunderbird he had no business staring at me any longer. And with those words he immediately rode off to Deadwood. In the end Cholena and I sat around in the rain awkwardly staring at each other for a while until the rain stopped. Once Cholena had dried off and I put my clothes back on we started our trek back to Deadwood. About a week later we reached good old Deadwood. First thing I did was walk into the Sheriff’s Office with Cholena.

“Hey Sheriff!” I beamed after kicking open his door, “You needed a new courier right! Well I found you the perfect girl for the job!”

“Hello there,” said Cholena respectfully.

“ugh...... fine what else do you want,” groaned the Sheriff.

“She also needs a place to live,” I continued, “and make it somewhere good.”

“Alright she can have Andy’s old pad”

“Wait what the fuck happened to Andy?”

“Jumped by a bat girl on his way back to Deadwood. He moved out today.”

“Huh, I always took him as a human fucker.”

“Same here, but he’s now a married man now and his job’s vacant.”

“Well I could tak-”

“No”

“That was quick.”

“You would make the world’s worst lawman Dusty,” said the Sheriff rubbing his eyes, “Well you did give me a new courier and I do feel pretty bad that I can’t pay you any money. Tell you what, I’ll let you take an artifact from the armory.”

“Sweet!”

“Just one,” chuckled the Sheriff, “And make sure you run it by me before you take it.”

“Thanks Sheriff,” I laughed as I eagerly grasped his hand.

“You should take your girlfriend to Delinda over at the post office before you take over Andy’s old place. I’m sure Delinda will be glad to have a thunderbird at the station.” said the Sheriff, shaking my hand.

“G-g-girlfriend!?”
“Girlfriend!?”

“pfffft- Haw Haw Haw!” laughed the Sheriff as he wiped some tears from his eyes, “Never thought I’d ever see you flustered there Dusty! Now you two lovebirds scuttle along, I’ve got a some dark priest coming in soon.”

With the two of us blushing furiously we walked out of the Sheriff's office and back into the bustling streets of Deadwood. First thing we did was go to the post office to tell Delinda that the new courier arrived. Delinda was very happy that she was getting a thunderbird in the delivery service and gave Cholena quite the starting salary. She even gave us a bottle of nice French wine as a moving in present.

After that I decided to take Cholena out to show her the sites of Deadwood. Together we went around taking in all of the sights. We saw the old clock tower which amazingly has not yet been demolished in a fight. Then together we went around looking at the many stores in the shopping district. There I learned about Cholena’s passion for reading and bought her a box of novels with some of the cash I had left in my pocket. After that I took her to dinner at a decently priced restaurant called the ‘Horse and Jockey’, a restaurant run by a Centaur, her husband, and her three children. Once we were stuffed we took off and went to the upper city where Andy’s house was.

Andy’s old house was a fantastic one story house up in the better parts of Deadwood. It was neat and orderly with out a single spec of dust in sight  furnished with beautiful wooden furniture all with soft leather cushions. It was a one bedroom house complete with kitchen, bathroom, living room, study room, and even a basement. After exploring the house we sat together in the living room while sharing the wine Delinda gave us. After finishing off the wine we both decided to go to bed. With only one bed I insisted that I sleep in the couch since the house was legally now Cholena’s. She immediately refused and said by that logic I should sleep in the bed as I was the guest. Eventually we gave up and both crawled into the bed together.

“Dusty?”

“Yeah?”

“You still awake?”

“Yep.”

“Will you hold my wing?”

"............."
"............."

"okay"

Sure I may have lost everything. My horse, my equipment, most of my cash, and all of my weapons. But looking on the bright side of things I now have a magical artifact with my name on it and most importantly a sugary sweet goddess to call my own. I think I'll stay for a few days before I go back trekking through the desert. But you can bet your life I'd be back for my own little slice of heaven.