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Not_Falco

[Celly] Anon's Quest for Ice Cream

Jul 10th, 2016
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  1. >You are Anon.
  2. >It's early July here in Canterlot, at least as far as you can tell.
  3. >Translating their calendar to good ol' Gregorian was nothing short of a hassle, given that your phone died soon after you came here.
  4. >Regardless, that's beside the point.
  5. >The primary thing bothering you right now is that it's really hot.
  6. >Like, really fucking sweltering.
  7. >The ponies don't have any form of AC in the palace, so you're stuck wandering about the capital city looking for something to cool down with.
  8. >It's at this point where you wonder why all you bother to wear is this black suit and red necktie.
  9. >Certainly doesn't help with the heat.
  10. >As you walk down the streets of Canterlot, you tug at your collar in a desperate attempt to cool down.
  11. >The heat is really making your head spin, and your vision is starting to blur.
  12. >Good god, you should really find some shade.
  13. >After huffing and panting your way to a nearby bench under a tree, you take a look around at all the ponies going about their day.
  14. >The streets are packed, even on a Monday afternoon like this. Usually, everybody would be at work, but maybe there's some special occasion.
  15. >Those damn ponies and their holidays. As much as you want to, you still can't memorize them.
  16. >You'd grumble more about the how difficult it is to transcribe them to specific dates on the Gregorian calendar, but again, that's beside the point.
  17. >Instead, as you look around, you notice a strange theme.
  18. >A really strange theme indeed.
  19. >It seems like just about every pony on the streets is enjoying some sort of ice cream.
  20. >Colts, fillies, mares, and stallions alike are all enjoying their own vanilla, chocolate, rocky road, you name it.
  21. >It's as if the heat doesn't even exist to them.
  22. >Even with their thick coats, and the occasional clothing, none of them seem to mind.
  23. >Y'know, ice cream sounds pretty good now.
  24. >Yeah. Certainly beats getting heat stroke.
  25. >After you double check your pockets to make sure you have a few bits on you, you approach the nearest vendor.
  26.  
  27.  
  28. >Even though it's only a short walk down the street, the sun relentlessly pounding on you and the task of navigating through the wave of ponies is making it nothing less than an eternity to you.
  29. >Finally, you reach it. A little candy and ice cream shop called Simply Sweets.
  30. >This place has been your little go-to corner store for whenever your sweet tooth was acting up.
  31. >It's even on par with the stuff you got from Bon Bon when you visited Ponyville.
  32. >All the better, it's not all that popular. You could go in and enjoy something nice in solitude whenever you felt like it.
  33. >Well, wasn't usually THIS popular.
  34. >There's a line stretching out of the door and down the wall, and you can see that the line inside is even worse.
  35. >Wonderful.
  36.  
  37. >After another two eternities waiting in the heat and almost fainting, you've made it to the counter.
  38. >The pony behind the counter is a small, young mare. She's pale blue with a straightened cerulean mane, and one great big pale blue streak reminiscent of her coat runs down the middle.
  39. >Two giant purple eyes stare back at you from behind the counter.
  40. >Her name, like all pony names, is cliche yet far too fitting.
  41. "Hey, Sweet Tooth."
  42. >"Hey, Ano- oh, Sweet Celestia, are you alright? It looks like you jumped in a swimming pool."
  43. >Somehow, only now do you notice the sweat.
  44. >You really should find some lighter clothes for days like this. This suit is going to get you killed.
  45. "Y-Yeah, heh, it's just really hot. I was just wondering if I could get a single-scoop vanilla. That's all I need."
  46. >"Well, Anon..."
  47. "Yeah? Is something wrong?"
  48. >"Technically I'm not supposed to serve you any ice cream."
  49. >Those are probably the last words you wanted to hear.
  50. >Condemned to die in the heat, by some unknown force barring you from a simple treat.
  51. >And after all that time waiting in line, you were having none of this.
  52. "Seriously? Why not?"
  53. >"Well, I'm not really supposed to tell you, either..."
  54. "Sweet Tooth, this is a matter of urgency. Why not?"
  55.  
  56.  
  57. >"Really, Anon, I can't-"
  58. >You lean over the counter, staring at her with steely determination.
  59. >You were going to get to the bottom of this, goddamnit.
  60. >And you were going to get your Cosmic Matriarch-forsaken ice cream, even if it meant your death.
  61. >Well, not really, but you get the point.
  62. "Tell me, Sweet Tooth."
  63. >"ᵖʳᶦᶰᶜᵉˢˢ ᶜᵉᶫᵉˢᵗᶦᵃ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵃ ʳᵒʸᵃᶫ ᵈᵉᶜʳᵉᵉ ᵇᵃʳʳᶦᶰᵍ ᵃᶰʸ ᵛᵉᶰᵈᵒʳ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ˢᵉᶫᶫᶦᶰᵍ ʸᵒᵘ ᶦᶜᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵐ ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ⋅⋅⋅"
  64. "She WHAT?! Why?"
  65. >"I don't know! The decree didn't say anything about it. I'm really sorry, Anon, I am, but I can't serve you."
  66. "That's fine, Sweet Tooth. I have a princess to go confront. If you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my leave now."
  67. >You walk out of the tiny store, met with stares and silence.
  68. >You do not care. Not even a goddess was going to keep you from getting your ice cream.
  69.  
  70. >Soon enough, you've made it to the throne room doors.
  71. >It seemed like all the ponies in the city had ice cream, and not you.
  72. >Hell, even the guards had their own cones.
  73. >It was nothing short of torture.
  74. >You prepare to push through the doors, and swing them wide open, strutting down the carpet towards Celestia.
  75. "Princess, what in the name of-"
  76. >That's when you see her.
  77. >She's sitting, staring at you wordlessly with the smuggest fucking smile you'd ever seen.
  78. >It was so smug that it almost physically hurt.
  79. >Floating in her magical grasp was a five-scoop stack of birthday cake ice cream on a cone.
  80. >And in that moment, you remember.
  81. >It all comes back to you now.
  82. >About a week ago, you'd been bored beyond belief, roaming the palace looking for something to beat the heat.
  83. >That was, at least, until you saw her.
  84. >Celestia was facing away from you, meeting with a lone dignitary in the hallway outside the throne room.
  85. >That ass was too tempting not to slap.
  86. >Once the deed was done, she simply gave you an empty glare, bid her farewell to the dignitary, and went about her business.
  87. >Later that night, she poked her head through the door of your room and delivered some haunting words.
  88.  
  89.  
  90. >"I will have my revenge."
  91. >For a few days, you'd been beyond paranoid of any of her signature dastardly pranks.
  92. >You were literally afraid of your own shadow at one point.
  93. >But, like always, you just forgot about it after nothing happened.
  94. >However, you really shouldn't have forgotten.
  95. >Justice demands retribution, after all, and Celestia was no pony to not deliver on her promises.
  96. >Back to the present, it was as if Celestia saw the realization in your eyes.
  97. >The smile grew ever-so-slightly more smug, and she took a good look at you before drawing one long, deeply torturous lick of her cold confectionery, maintaining eye contact the whole time.
  98. >It would've been extremely arousing if it weren't so humiliating.
  99. >You take one last glance at her face before taking your shameful walk of defeat out of the throne room, and back to your quarters.
  100.  
  101. >The Next Day...
  102. "Sweet Tooth, you can surely serve me today, right?"
  103. >She nods, but almost looks sad. Regretful, even.
  104. >Sighing, you decide to get on with whatever painful news she might harbor this time.
  105. "...what is it this time?"
  106. >"Technically, I could serve you since the decree only lasted for National Ice Cream Day, but I'm all out of ice cream. Completely dry. I don't get re-stocked until next week..."
  107. >You stare at her, blankly, before crumpling to your knees.
  108. >You're pretty sure your cry of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" could be heard from space.
  109.  
  110. FIN
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