LtD 84-85

>>Chapter 84 - Part 1
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> Title: Grace
In case you had forgotten, the Living-verse version of Graze is female because reasons.
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> Two hours later, library
Thanks, Kickass222urmom. How else could have we know when or where was the story taking place?
I mean, it’s not as if there’s a way of establishing that through narration, right?
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> "Graze is a freaking girl?!" I yelled as Peter finished telling me the situation with Graze.
Yes, yes she is. It’s not a concept too hard to wrap your mind around.
Graze was male in his universe, and here ‘Grace’ is female.
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> I looked over at Graze, who was still unconscious on the couch.
If you were seeing Grace, then why did you react shocked only after Peter told you about it?
She was right in front of you, you could clearly see that she’s a mare.
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> Vinetion's brew's are to damn strong!
Wait, you mean they knocked her out? Did they at least tell her why Lance took her from Manehattan?
Wait…
Why did Lance take her from Manehattan?
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> David nodded solemnly, "I think Annabel has something to do with this."
With what?
Listen, from what I can understand from the crossover, Graze is not a brony, but a ‘normal’ pony that lives in Equestria in his universe.
It stands to reason that, since these are parallel universes and everyone has a duplicate, there’s a duplicate of Graze somewhere around.
It’s not too big of a stretch to think that he can be a she in this universe.
Wait…
You’re making me think of the crossover in a positive way; damn you, Kickass222urmom!
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> We turned to see Graze, a confused look on his face.
Her.
It’s ‘her’ face. She’s a mare, Lance.
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> I chuckled, "Awake I see."
Grace is brave, I’ll give her that.
If I had a magical gender change, got influenced by a draconequus to become horny, get knocked out, get kidnapped to a backwater town, get drugged, and when I woke up the first thing I saw was a Zebra/Pegasus hybrid, I would probably have a breakdown.



>>Chapter 84 - Part 2
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> He looked at me,
Why, oh why are you referring to her as a he if you’ve already established that she is female?
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A "Who are you?!"
Your kidnappers, silly!
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> I bowed down to one knee, "My name is Lance Greenfield, also know as Girokon, or Giro for short."
Right, his stupid name, I had forgotten it existed.
You didn’t have to remind us, it’s not as if he uses that name.
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> Graze stood and looked us over, "Why am I here?"
“Did you take my kidneys when I was knocked out?”
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> I stood back up and put on my best smile , "Well, we kinda know you... or a version of you."
“Don’t look scared, it’s actually more stupid than that.”
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> I rubbed my chin, thinking, "Okay, you see, we know Graze.. you. He's from another dimension, and you're him. […]I know it sounds unbelievable, but listen to me. There are many other dimensions out there, and each one has copies of the beings from the others. Meaning, you're his copy and he's your copy. Listen Graze..."
There, you just admitted that this is just this universe’s version of Graze.
Now what? Will you tell us why you took her?
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> Graze narrowed his eyes,
Kickass222urmom said that this Grace was a mare, and yet he keeps referring to her as a “him”.
What’s going on here? Is she really just the Living-verse’s version of Graze or is she a gender-bent Graze?
I’m not asking because I’m interested, but because this pronoun thing is really annoying
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> "Do you need mental help or something? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
Thank you, Grace. It’s quite refreshing to see someone speak truthfully for a change.
I look forward to you being ignored, just like everyone else who displays even the faintest trace of common sense.
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> Graze stomped his hoof
Seriously, make up your mind, or just make the reveal already. This is annoying me far more than it should.



>>Chapter 84 - Part 3
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> "I'm Grace! I'm not this Graze you're talking about!"
Thank goodness this is written. This line would have made no sense if this was spoken.
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> [Whoa... I thought Annabel turned him into a mare... what a twist...]
But... You just said that Grace is a copy of Graze; she’s not the one you know. How can it come as a twist if you already knew that?
Actually, why did you ever think that she was the Graze you know?
I usually don’t focus too much on an inconsistency of the narrative of the Living-verse, but he literally just said that this isn’t the Graze he knows!
Gah!
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> I forced a laugh, "Sorry 'bout that.”
Yeah, that entire kidnapping thing was just a misunderstanding. It happens.
Hopefully she doesn’t have any friends or family back at Manehattan that would get worried if she suddenly disappeared for two days.
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> Okay, Grace, listen to me. You may not be that Graze, but you're still him in a way.
“Since we killed our only reason for having you, we have to come up with something quickly.”
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> “For one, you have Kill and Joy as your consciences."
Excellent, more of this [dumb] <format>
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> Grace looked taken aback, "H-How do you know about them?!"
Let’s pretend for a moment that this story had some sort of planning as wasn’t being made up as Kickass222urmom went.
If there was a pony who had this whole conscience thing going on, then why the hell did Celestia have to contact her counterpart from another dimension? Why didn’t she just ask this one for help?
I can think of several reasons, rampant misogyny being just one of them, but we all know the real reason.
Kickass222urmom pulled this out of thin air because it served his plot.
And of course he wouldn’t think about the other implications this had in the plot. Namely, having an ultra-powerful being just hanging around in Equestria for years, even before the bronies arrived; and even more aggravating, nobody noticed that.



>>Chapter 84 - Part 4
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> "THAT IS BULLSHIT! YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE ANY OF THAT CRAP!" She said as she stomped her hoof, causing a small black flame to appear for a second before burning out.
I am afraid of saying I like Grace, because everything I like in this fic is either run into the ground shortly after or never mentioned again: Dave, Greg, Malbatorus, Dana and Captain Barehoof.
That being said, I’m glad someone is calling out the idiocy of Lance’s logic.
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> "Fuck, this girl has a temper," Vine said.
Yeah, she was kidnapped by total strangers, and went through hell before that. How does she dare being angry?
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> She then stomped her hoof, causing a vine to curl through the ground towards Grace.
Okay, Vine. I guess that you’re trying to protect your friends from getting beaten up.
But do you really think that attacking a distressed and emotionally unstable pony will help matters?
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> I jumped between the two and went into Breaking Dawn, "Stop it! Listen to me! We are going to talk this out, and be good friends! GOT THAT?!"
“Now let’s keep on befriending our hostage!”



>>Chapter 84 - Part 5
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> Grace was eyeing me with suspicion, "I'll listen, but I still don't believe any of this crap."
First of all, judging by her reaction we can safely assume that Grace is fully aware of the ultra-powerful mode the owner of consciences can do, which means that she has gone into KillJoy mode before.
This presents a follow up problem: if she has gone into KillJoy mode, and everything seems to point towards that, then how comes nobody has heard of her before? Surely something like that would have led to some rumours being spread.
And finally, wouldn’t have been infinitely easier to approach her after the whole shebang in Manehattan was over and say “Hey, when we were there I noticed that you have two consciences just like me”, then you showed her Break and Dawn and let things flow naturally from there.
Approaching Grace this way has led to nothing and has just complicated things for everyone.
But hey, free and cheap drama.
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> I closed my eyes and forced myself out of Breaking Dawn, "Thank you, shall I begin this long ass explanation?"
What exactly are you going to explain?
That you are humans from another dimension sent here by God after your world was destroyed?
That you have the same mental disease as her because reasons?
I fail to see how any of that would make her change her mind about you.
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> I smiled, "Well...."
Thankfully, the chapter ends here.
Apparently, Kickass222urmom had some issues and couldn’t finish.
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> Read my blog to know why I've made it so short...
Yeah… no, I won’t.



>>Chapter 85 - Part 1
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> This chapter was done for Purple Blaze.
I thought that the RariDom chapter was already made for him.
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> And, it also serves as a plot former.
Plot Former?
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> (Meaning, what happens here will affect something very important later on in the story.)
You mean foreshadowing?
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> A long explanation of all the adventures and things me and Graze did later
It’s the beginning of the chapter, just start with a line of dialogue that says—
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> "... And that pretty much sums it all up."
If you were going to do this, then why did you need the previous recap line?
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> Grace rubbed her chin, "That all seems reasonable...”
No… No, it doesn’t.
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> “but I still can't believe it."
You know what could make her believe in what you’re saying? Ask the Princesses to vouch for you.
Write them a letter explaining the situation, and then wait until they answer and show that letter to Grace.
That should be enough, right?
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> I sighed, I didn't want to have to do this, "Twi, could you perform that one spell? The one that sends someone into my mind."
No, of course not…
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> Twilight nodded, "Sure, do you want me to come in also?"
> I shook my head, "I'd prefer if you stayed out here. Just me and Grace please."
“Twilight, how dare you insinuate we do something together? You’re only my wife! Now send this mare we’ve just met inside of my mind.”
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> Grace took a step back, "What are you doing?"
Grace, you’re lucky they told you what they were going to do. Normally Lance would have done it and explained it later.
If that.
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> Inside my mind
We already know they are going inside their mind, what’s the purpose of having a transition line?
And it’s not even a proper transition, it’s just a setting change, it might as well read “EXT: Lance’s Mind.”
But hey, that’s LtD for you, do the least amount of work to make the story barely readable and sit back to get the praise for your amazing story.



>>Chapter 85 - Part 2
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> We were now in my mind, with Break and Dawn sitting behind the memory bank, both looking at us with smiles on their faces.
Right, the memory computer thing.
I wonder if Lance is going to show Grace the time he was raped by a horse.
I mean, the time he was raped by a horse that wasn’t the last time he was almost raped by those horses.
I mean, the time he was raped by a horse that wasn’t the time he was raped by those mares.
Yeah, that’s the one.
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> I began to trot over to the computer, "Come here, I've got to show you something."
“It’s the laziest plot device of the entire fic, and that’s saying a lot!”
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> Once I was next to Break and Dawn, Break smirked, "Dude, we could so do a foursome with Grace!"
“I’ll say this right in front of her to increase our chance of success! That’s how woman think, right?”
Though, in this fic, they do.
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> "No what?" Grace asked as she stepped beside me.
This place is pretty empty and Break wasn’t whispering, you should have listened clearly to what he had to say.
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> "Dawn, could you play all the memories related to Graze please?"
Would you look at that, Lance is going to do something that is somewhat smart.
I fear of the things he’ll do next to compensate for this.
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> A/N: Read 'Three of me VS School society' for this. Its the first Crossover chapter.
As much as I think doing one of these in the middle of the chapter would break the immersion, I think it would have been worse if he actually made a recap of everything that happened with Graze.
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> Grace looked shocked, "Y-You mean... I'm really a copy of... another pony from another dimension?!"
Copy sounds bad, you’re this universe’s version of that Graze.
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> I nodded, "Yep, but you're not like him fully. Just in a few ways."
You just share a practically identical name, a virtually identical body albeit gender-bent, and the same weird mental problem.
But other than that, you’re not like him.