A Day In The Sun

>It's been over a month since you last saw her, and the novelty of silence is beginning to wear out its' welcome.
>Your own voice is something you're beginning to forget the sound of.
>Broken only by the clinks of your glass hitting the hardwood table; the quiet wraps around you like a heavy blanket that's too stifling to find comfort in.
>It hides the light from your eyes; even when you stand in the sun by your window, and it smothers you in what was once thought to be a comforting embrace.
>The silence is too heavy for you to bare.
>But it's what you wanted.
>She gave up on you; decided that she would rather pursue a love interest that might eventually lead somewhere.
>One that had been standing right behind her the entire time.
>Big Mac had been waiting in the background to get his chance: you knew that.
>You couldn't have been happier when she finally turned to him; but as much as it pains you to admit it, you miss her.
>The daily visits; the ridiculous guesses; they'd been something of an anchor.
>Holding you down so as not to be set adrift in this sea of loneliness that you'd never noticed you were floating in.
>Realization that it was really all you had came one night over another empty bottle.
>Lord knows you bitched about her relentless advances, but after weeks of seeing no one, and not having a single knock on your door; you realized how precious that contact was.

>So after a few weeks, when you'd finally had enough; you went to her.
>Even knowing that one of the few you'd call a friend had found happiness that you would be putting in jeopardy.
>You'd had a bit too much to drink; that was your excuse.
>She didn't have an excuse for why she let you into her bed that night, and you didn't ask for one.
>But she did have reason for why she kicked you out of it the following morning.
>She had a good thing going.
>Mac was a good stallion; hardworking, kind, loving, and attentive.
>Everything you weren't.
>She actually told you that she regretted wasting so much time on you.
>Though she wasn't unkind in the way she explained it, your bitterness made you take it harder than you should have.
>That was the last time you saw her; standing in her doorway in exasperation as you begged and pleaded for her attention.
>Isn't it ironic?
>Weren't you supposed to be the one on the inside, keeping her out?
>Emotions are funny like that.
>How quickly they can turn on you.
>Every day you sent her; sent everyone away, and thought yourself better off because of it.
>And now, she had someone that made her happy, and you were left alone and drifting.

>It's drowning you.
>If not the loneliness, then the liquor.
>You'd started drinking heavily in hopes of distracting yourself, but it turned into something you had to do just to get by.
>If you didn't; the crushing silence would grind you into nothing.
>And so here you sit; over the umpteenth glass of cheap whiskey that you've consumed since whenever it was that you last managed to crawl out of bed.
>You don't keep track of the hours anymore.
>Seeing how much time is slipping away from you in your solitude is just too depressing.
>All that matters is whether the sun is up or not, and even that isn't really important.
>Waking up; you drink until you can't stay awake any longer, then fall into dreamless sleep, and repeat.
>Sleep is your only escape from the monotony, and sometimes, you'll down glass after glass, directly after waking up just to be put back down.
>Today you think will be different.
>Taking another unneeded sip that will surely go unnoticed in your already heavily intoxicated state; you stand.
>You're tired of this.
>Stumbling your way to the front door; you open it and step outside for the first time in what feels like years.
>The sun is warm, but it doesn't reach you where you need that warmth most.
>The breeze blows against you with it's gentle caress; but it's not the affection of nature that you so desperately seek.

>Walking forward with far more concentration than should be required to simply keep one foot in front of the other; you ignore the whispered conversations and disgusted glances directed at you.
>They become ambient noise that you honestly enjoy; despite the meaning.
>Mother and foal alike turn their eyes from you as you walk on; crossing the street when necessary to avoid your path.
>Just another blur of color that means nothing to you.
>None of them approach.
>If there's any sort of reputation that you've built for yourself here, it's that you don't enjoy socializing of any kind.
>It's alright to admit it when it's so plain for all to see.
>You're so very alone.
>Oh god how you regret allowing yourself to push them all away.
>How you wish you could have done it differently; accepted the kindness and warmth of the pones after your sudden arrival.
>But it's too late; you lie in a bed of seclusion and withdrawal that you made for yourself.
>You don't pay attention to the direction of your lumbering gait.
>Every bit of your mental prowess is needed not to wind up kissing the dirt.
>It isn't important; all that matters is that something happened today aside from slipping deeper into alcoholism and silence.
>"Hey there, mister...? Are you alright?"

>Taking notice of your surroundings, you realize you made it to the park across town.
>Swiveling your vision from side to side; you look for the origin of the voice that you hope more than anything else was directed at you.
>"Down here!"
>A tap on your shin draws your muddied gaze down towards the ground.
"...Heh."
>It's a little purple-grey unicorn filly.
>She smiles up at you with her head tilted to the side in curiosity; eyebrows furrowed slightly in worry for what must be your ragged and unkempt appearance.
>Clearing your throat; you make words once more after so long.
>"Nah... M' not alright."
>Stooping down to a crouch, you get closer to eye level with the foal at your feet.
>Or you try to, but end up on your ass from your skewed balance.
>She winces as you fall, and moves closer with forehoof raised as if to help you up.
>"What's wrong? Are you hurt...? Mommy always has extra bandaids if you need one."
>You can't help but chuckle at that.
"Yeah, it hurts... But'snot something a bandaid can make better."
>If only it was something as simple as a scratch that you could cover up.
>There's no bandaid for heartache, and the closest thing to it is the reason you're stumbling around like a fool in the first place.
>"Oh... Well, what's the matter then? Maybe I can help!"
>Her innocent voice chirps up at you in a way that draws a hollow smile to your face.
"I'm lonely..."

>The smile on her own face falters, before shining even more brilliantly than before.
>It speaks worlds of her childish mind; the bright eyes behind that smile.
>It says that she's come across a problem that she thinks she can solve all by herself; and if solving that problem will help someone else smile in the same way that she does, then solve it she would.
>"My names Dinky! Want to be friends? Then you won't be lonely anymore!"
>As naive as her solution is, it tugs on your heart strings with its' simplicity.
>A friend would be really nice right about now.
>Anything to keep the pain of your self induced isolation at bay
"Yeah... I do. Name's Anon."
>Smiling genuinely at her this time, you soak up the moment; this bit of contact that you've been longing for going on a month now.
>She grins back at you, hopping up and down excitedly at being able to help a stranger in his time of need.
>On the fifth hop, she springs over to you and wraps her little legs around your torso.
>Pulling yourself from your stupor, you slowly, but joyfully return the enthusiastic hug of your new friend.
>"Hey, mister Anon?"
>How long has it been since anyone has touched you; has said your name with even an ounce of fondness?
>Not since that night with her.
>Your eyes are wet with tears that you quickly blink away as you respond to the filly in your grasp.
"Jus' Anon. And yeah?"
>She leans her head back to show her wrinkled muzzle.
>"Y-you need a bath."

>Laughter; real laughter.
>Not the cynical chuckles of a man whose reached the bottom of his bottle, and the last sunlit days of his life.
>Not the full bellowing guffaws of an emotionally empty drunkard who doesn't even remember why he's giggling in the first place.
>A few seconds of rippling, silver laughter, that means more to you than every compiled day, and week, and month that you've spent in silence.
>Taking a whiff of yourself; you find that your solitude has not been kind to you.
"Yer very, very right."
>Continuing to smile at each other; you hear a beckoning call in the distance that means the end of this small bit of happiness.
>"Dinky, time to go!"
>She looks back as her ears swivel about; eventually honing in on a solid gray pegasus with a mane the same wheat blonde color as her own.
>Launching from your grasp, she gallops to what you assume is her mother, rather quickly for a thing her size.
>The filly leaps to wrap the pegasus in a hug that's every bit as fierce as the one she gifted you with.
>Twirling through the air, they laugh in their embrace.
>Resting back on one arm as you watch on, the other traces a hand across your face.
>Stubble from a beard that has gone far too long uncut; the flat features that make you so strange to the beings of this world; but most of all, you feel the smile.
>How strange it is; like an old friend that hasn't visited in years but suddenly drops onto your doorstep unexpectedly.
>It won't stay for long; you're keenly aware of that fact even in your drunken state; but just for the moment, you can enjoy being happy again.

>When your attention finally moves back to your surroundings, you see the child whispering into her mothers ear; glancing back at you every few seconds.
>A surprised look covers the mares features, but it soon softens into a gentle smile.
>Nodding down to her daughter; they both trot over to where you sit.
>"Hello! Dinky here tells me that she made a special new friend today."
>Her voice is kind and welcoming, but what's more important is that it's directed at you.
>Not in judgement or whispered disgust, but friendliness.
"Yeah... Suppose she did."
>Gazing at you with eyes that don't seem to quite look the same direction; she reaches out a hoof.
>"Well, all new friends of Dinkys just HAVE to come over for muffins. She makes them special, just for times like this."
>Winking at you as Dinky adopts a proud pose; the mothers warm smile takes on a hint of concern for your well being.
>"What do you say?"
>Staring at that offered hoof, you contemplate the loneliness that you've endured.
>This is your chance to shake it off.
>To try again at what you failed in so miserably before, and it's a chance you won't let slip by.
"I'd like that alot. I'm Anon."
>As your hand wraps around her hoof; she floats into the air and pulls you up off the ground.
"Ditzy Doo; it's nice to meet you."
>And in the company of others that you longed for so badly; you tear off the stifling silence that shrouded your life.