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MrFluffyVegas

Hawkeye Drowns

May 3rd, 2012
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  1. >you are Hawkeye, arrow shooting shield agent and member of the Avengers
  2. >at least you were...
  3. >Tony 'I Am Iron Man' Stark walks up
  4. >"Hey Hawkeye, buddy. Got some bad news. You're off the team"
  5. What do you mean? How can you kick me off the team?
  6. >"Well we are Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and its not like you have any special powers or anything."
  7. Neither does Black Widow!
  8. >"Yeah, but at least she uses weaponry from this century. Seriously man, a bow and arrow? What were you thinking?"
  9. But who are you gonna get to replace me on such short notice?!
  10. >"We've already got your replacement right here."
  11. >Tony proceeds to take a small purple fluffy pony out of a nearby box
  12. >"Fwuffy wanna be a Avenga!"
  13. Really!? You're criticizing me for being useless and then you replace me with a fluffy pony?!
  14. >"To be honest Hawkeye, nobody really likes you. And Fluffy Pony's popularity are through the roof."
  15. >"Fwuffy popuwar!"
  16. If you bring that stupid animal into a war zone it's just gonna get itself killed!
  17. >"Yeah, but so would you. So really, what's the difference?"
  18. >you are dumbfounded by irrefutable logic
  19. >overcome by grief
  20. >drink yourself stupid and pass out in the bathtub
  21. >Hawkeye drowns
  22. >Fluffy Pony drowns too, but later and for a different reason (when Captain America tells you to swim, you swim Mother Fucker!)
  23.  
  24. Edit: After having seen Avengers, I take back every bad thing I said about Hawkeye. That man is a national treasure.
  25. >fluffy pony watches the Avengers
  26. >fluffy pony is blown away by how awesome it is
  27. >theater workers find fluffy pony dead in his seat at the end of the movie, a perpetual grin on his face
  28. >he died from pure, concentrated awesome
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