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Lily Day 1 IRC 1

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Oct 1st, 2015
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  1. [15:23] <AnionCation> .roll acrobatics
  2. [15:24] <Lily_Palmer> roll 1d20+1
  3. [15:24] <`DICE> Lily_Palmer rolled 1d20+1 [ 1d20=2 ]{3}
  4. [15:25] <AnionCation> You charge down the hallway hoping for the best, however trip over a thing that is blatanly misplaced and fall on your face half way down the hallway
  5. [15:29] <Lily_Palmer> god damn it. by now you should know better than to run down the hallway, and yet here we are. you want to see whatever you tripped over, but you dont have anything to light it up, so instead you proceed down the hallway and go down the stairs.
  6. [15:30] <AnionCation> .roll athletics to successfully traverse the HIGHLY DANGEROUS stairs in the dark
  7. [15:31] <Lily_Palmer> roll 1d20+1
  8. [15:31] <`DICE> Lily_Palmer rolled 1d20+1 [ 1d20=19 ]{20}
  9. [15:31] <AnionCation> woah. that was a close one
  10. [15:32] <AnionCation> you manage to successfully descend the stairs, without falling over and dieing.
  11. [15:32] <AnionCation> You are now at the bottom of the stairs
  12. [15:32] <AnionCation> You realise now that there appears to be an eery darkness still
  13. [15:32] <AnionCation> You can't see anything but black out of any of the windows
  14. [15:36] <Lily_Palmer> is it still night? you begin to worry that you forgot to change your clock for daylight savings time. whatever, its too late to go back to bed, so you might as well grab something for breakfast. but first you must navigate the ever dangerous LIVING ROOM to get to the KITCHEN
  15. [15:36] <AnionCation> You navigate to the kitchen successfully without much of a problem
  16. [15:37] <AnionCation> You however hear a horn honk outside, but its probably nothing
  17. [15:37] <AnionCation> It is one of those novelty honks, like those stupid fucking joke horns on cars
  18. [15:40] <Lily_Palmer> who even USES things like that anymore. must be one of those dumb kids. you decide youll check that out later after you grab a piece of toast
  19. [15:41] <AnionCation> You grab a piece of toast and suddenly realise the horror
  20. [15:41] <AnionCation> The unforgivable mistake
  21. [15:41] <AnionCation> That you did not realise that BREAD goes INTO the toaster to get TOAST from the TOASTER
  22. [15:42] <AnionCation> One does not simply "acquire" toast from the kitchen
  23. [15:42] <AnionCation> you look down at your toast, in great shame
  24. [15:42] <AnionCation> As it dawns on you
  25. [15:42] <AnionCation> that you have a piece of filthy non-toast
  26. [15:42] <AnionCation> And by that I mean bread.
  27. [15:43] <Lily_Palmer> WHAT IS THIS TREACHERY. you cant just eat this FAKE TOAST. you grab this slice of PRE-TOAST and VIOLENTLY grab out for your TOASTER
  28. [15:44] <AnionCation> You heroically rip the toaster from its position!
  29. [15:44] <AnionCation> And..
  30. [15:44] <AnionCation> Then you realise that you are stupid
  31. [15:44] <AnionCation> Why did you violently grab your toaster
  32. [15:44] <AnionCation> You have now aquired "Toaster"
  33. [15:45] <AnionCation> Unfortunately it has no plug as you just ripped it from the wall
  34. [15:45] <AnionCation> The prongs on the plug are bent.
  35. [15:47] <Lily_Palmer> ah crap, now you screwed the pooch. theres no way to get this TOASTY now! you need to buy a new TOASTER now! and if you dont do it soon, bro will arrive and be VERY DISSAPOINTED!
  36. [15:47] <Lily_Palmer> and you CANT DISSAPOINT BRO
  37. [15:48] <Lily_Palmer> you decide to head for the door to get outside
  38. [15:49] <AnionCation> You open the door and step out into the bright mid day sunshine
  39. [15:49] <AnionCation> You see bro's car with a new horn parked just outside, sniggering from inside the car
  40. [15:50] <Lily_Palmer> what.
  41. [15:50] <Lily_Palmer> HES HOME EARLY?
  42. [15:51] <Lily_Palmer> OH NO!!!!
  43. [15:51] <AnionCation> You look back at your house and see that during the early hours of the morning, he covered every single one of your house windows in black sugar paper
  44. [15:53] <Lily_Palmer> what a jokester. you arent surprised, he enjoys pulling pranks with his bandmates every once in a while. you are, however, surprised that he GOT YOU SO GOOD! now your PRANKSTERS GAMBIT is at an ALL TIME LOW
  45. [15:58] <Lily_Palmer> but now you have to get all the paper down! instead of doing it yourself, you decide you need to get your MAID to do it
  46. [15:59] <Lily_Palmer> you return to the house and enter the fun room, where the door to her underground bunker
  47. [16:02] <AnionCation> (did you only half write that?)
  48. [16:03] <Lily_Palmer> ((it looks like it cut off? weird))
  49. [16:04] <AnionCation> (yeah it just ends at where the door to her underground bunker)
  50. [16:05] <Lily_Palmer> you return to the house and enter the fun room, where the door to her underground bunker lay, and attempt to descend down and find her
  51. [16:05] <AnionCation> (did that cut off AGAIN?)
  52. [16:05] <AnionCation> (and find her what?)
  53. [16:06] <Lily_Palmer> oh
  54. [16:06] <Lily_Palmer> find her.
  55. [16:06] <Lily_Palmer> period buttons been fickle recently
  56. [16:06] <AnionCation> oh your maid
  57. [16:07] <AnionCation> You enter the bunker to find your maid currently sleeping in the corner
  58. [16:10] <Lily_Palmer> quite typical of ROBOTS, always sleeping on the job. you cant really blame her, as her AI is a COPY OF YOUR CONSCIOUS. If it wasnt your friends birthday, you too would be sleeping right now.
  59. [16:10] <Lily_Palmer> you decide to try and jostle her awake.
  60. [16:13] <AnionCation> You jostle her, and realise it is a robot. Robots don't get jostled.
  61. [16:15] <Lily_Palmer> you decide to jostle with more enthusiasm. and by that you mean SMACK HER WITH YOUR GUITAR.
  62. [16:15] <AnionCation> You smack her with the guitar, and she falls over
  63. [16:15] <AnionCation> Luckly however, she falls onto her arm, which pushes her "sleep" switch
  64. [16:16] <AnionCation> She rapidly jumps up and stands to attention
  65. [16:17] <Lily_Palmer> You tell her to go and get rid of all the paper on the house while you go to get a new toaster.
  66. [16:18] <AnionCation> She jumps at the order and runs around outside the house collecting all the paper from all the windows
  67. [16:19] <Lily_Palmer> good robot, best maid. now you can begin your journey to the store to replace the toaster you mishandled
  68. [16:21] <Lily_Palmer> you exit the house and walk down the street
  69. [16:21] <AnionCation> You begin walking down the street and ignore the honks your bro makes at you
  70. [16:26] <Lily_Palmer> The store should be a few blocks away now. You scurry quicker down the street to get there
  71. [16:26] <AnionCation> You enter the store to find a toaster
  72. [16:26] <AnionCation> The store is relatively cool to the streets outside, but also fairly empty
  73. [16:27] <AnionCation> Its a general electronics store and you attempt to navigate it
  74. [16:27] <AnionCation> There are 6 isles you can see, each of them fairly long
  75. [16:27] <AnionCation> The first one (closest to you) you see the first items are microwaves
  76. [16:28] <AnionCation> The second one you see a game "RedditSuck - The game"
  77. [16:28] <AnionCation> The third one - "Microsoft Sam Package"
  78. [16:28] <AnionCation> The fourth one you see some tech magazines
  79. [16:28] <AnionCation> The 5th one you see a bunch of wires and screwdrivers
  80. [16:29] <AnionCation> and the 6th one appears to have calculators
  81. [16:31] <Lily_Palmer> You attempt to not waste money on things you dont need and completely fail. After all, what are you supposed to do with all this DISPOSABLE INCOME
  82. [16:33] <Lily_Palmer> You examine the Microsoft Sam package and decide that you could sample its voice and make the most avant garde song EVER. You decide to buy it.
  83. [16:34] <AnionCation> You purchase the package and attempt to remember why you came here in the first place
  84. [16:35] <Lily_Palmer> Whatever, it probably wasnt important. Maybe you needed to get some Halloween Decorations? Whatever.
  85. [16:35] <Lily_Palmer> You walk back home with you package.
  86. [16:35] <AnionCation> You walk home with the disk box of microsoft sam
  87. [16:39] <Lily_Palmer> A sudden realization hits you when you remember that not only is today your friends birthday still, but its also October! How embarrassing, all the other houses have their halloween decorations up and yet here you are, acting like its still summer! You attempt to find LilyBot and tell her to decorate the house.
  88. [16:39] <AnionCation> Lilly bot is currently opening up your view of the outside by removing the paper from your window
  89. [16:40] <Lily_Palmer> you tell her to get on decorating after she finishes her current task. Should be easy enough, right?
  90. [16:41] <AnionCation> "Work Work!"
  91. [16:41] <AnionCation> Lilly bot continues on with her task having received the orders
  92. [16:42] <Lily_Palmer> You go back inside and inspect your computer.
  93. [16:42] <AnionCation> You inspect your computer to find that updates have been installed
  94. [16:42] <AnionCation> (Did you read normana's updates, they are the same
  95. [16:44] <Lily_Palmer> ((yeah i did. that saves time))
  96. [16:46] <AnionCation> After looking at the updates you see that your computer has noticed an ad on the packaging on your microsoft sam package
  97. [16:46] <AnionCation> "Sburb! The award winning "Slowest Updated" game!"
  98. [16:46] <AnionCation> A download starts on your computer.
  99. [16:46] <AnionCation> But only in the background
  100. [16:47] <Lily_Palmer> What the hell is a sburb. You hope its a cool game because you dont play any lame games that suck.
  101. [16:49] <Lily_Palmer> Whatever, you decide to open Esperchum and see if your chums are online.
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