Nothing About The Dog

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So, what I am suppose to do now?

How are you Harris?
How are you, Harris?
Aren't you supposed to cook dinner?

I must go, I have things to do.

Hi Harris.

Hi J., what do you want?

Uh, I don't know. You should ask George: he is the thinker of the group.

Fine. The weather is nice, isn't it?

Aren't you supposed to make some tea?

I'll be pleasantly surprised to see you doing something usefull...
I'll be pleasantly surprised to see you doing something useful...
Should we prepare diner?

So, how can we set up the canvas on the boat?

What do we need to do now?

Humm... Can you remember how I'm suppose to prepare hot water?

The water seems to refuse to boil.

The water is still not boiling...

Where should I sleep?

Ok, I'll do that.

Hi George.

How are you J.?

No, we had better get the canvas up first, before it gets too dark, while we can still see what we are doing.

I think it will require no more than ten minutes.

That was an underestimate.
That was an underestimation.
First, we should get the five hoops to build the structure.

They might be somewhere on the boat.

Then we'll have to put them in place.

Hey, those hoops were quite hard to put in place.

I hope the next steps will be easier.

So, what do we need to do now?

We need to put the covering over the canvas. You will find it on the boat, I think.

Seriously J.?

You'll find everything you need in our luggage at the stern.

And there is water EVERYWHERE in that damn river.

Thanks!

Humm, yes. We are... We are... concentrating before taking care of this important task.

That damn kettles are unpredictable on the Thames.

Lets do our little trick.

Just ignore it for a few seconds and it will soon sputtering away, mad to be made into tea.

And don't be impatient, otherwise it won't boil.

Your spot is at the front of the boat.

We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach.

That was a good diner.
That was a good dinner.
It's time for me to go to bed.

Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.
Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgement.
Then virtue and contentment will come and reign within your heart, unsought by any effort of your own; and you will be a good citizen, a loving husband, and a tender father-a noble, pious man.

Hey, you're making poetry again!

Why can't we always be like this - away from the world, with its sin and temptation, leading sober, peaceful lives, and doing good for all?

Yes, it is the sort of thing I have often longed for myself.

We should go away, we four, to some handy, well-fitted desert island, and live there in the woods.

As far has I have heard, the danger about desert islands is that they are so damp.
As far has I have heard, the danger of desert islands is that they are so damp.
And I'm going to take a breath outside.

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I won't paint this in red!

These arches go on the boat.

This covering sheet is only for our boat.

It does not need my journal. I'll keep it.

It doesn't seem to be a suitable place for cooking.

It boils my blood to say this, but no.

I don't want to set this on fire.

Take cover! Here's my blue blanket.

No default sentence. Please contact Billbis.

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A red paint pot.

Arches for the boat.

The covering sheet of the boat.

Summary

A methylated spirit stove.

A nice steel kettle.

It is empty.

It is full of water.

My silver lighter.

Le chevalier perdu

The Lost Knight

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I can't combine these items.

It's Harris.

It's George.

Hey! Montmorency.

Woof!

Good dog.

Montmorency, my dog. A Fox Terrier.

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Nothing About The Dog

An AGS game from the famous Jerome K. Jerome novel:

Three Men in a Boat

By Billbis & Pidem

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Read the chapter

Chapter X

-Our first night. -Under canvas. -An appeal for help. -Contrariness of tea-kettles, how to overcome. -Supper. -How to feel virtuous. -Wanted! a comfortably-appointed, well-drained desert island, neighbourhood of South Pacific Ocean preferred. -Funny thing that happened to George's father. -A restless night.

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Ok, I have done enough. Where is Bell Weir lock? I still can't see it.

Maybe they have demolished it like Wallingford lock?

Come on J., you haven't towed us that far

Well, that seems an etenity to me.
Well, that seems an eternity to me.
I had towed the boat until Staines. So you can do it until the Magna Carta island.

Yeah, George is right. You can tow us a little more.

You're a lazy dude, Harris.

Uh!

 ...

...

I wont take any futher steps tonight.
I wont take any further steps tonight.
And that's not negotiable.

A Kumquat tree.

Hum, I assume it is now a cherry tree...

No. I don't like kumquats.

No. I don't like cherries.

Fine, I'll do it.

Why have you done that J.?

It may have some unexpected consequences in the future.

???

A public bin. That explains why this place is so clean.

Let see what we can find in it.

Please J., don't do that. It's disgusting.

Hey! A red paint pot. It's almost new!

Why do you ALWAYS do silly things?

I don't know, George. It's like something forces me.

There's nothing more in it.

I hope so.

This must be a mirage. There are no palm trees at these latitudes

It's probably better to not approach it: I suspect a trap.

This village must be Bray. Or Holyport. Or is it already Taplow?

The village is too far away. We will sleep on the boat tonight.

No. It's too far away.

Our boat.

We still have to set it up for the night.

It's time to put these arches on the boat.

We took up the hoops, and began to drop them into the sockets placed for them.

You would not imagine this to be dangerous work.

But looking back now, the wonder to me is that any of us are alive to tell the tale.

They were not hoops, they were demons.

Humpf! This one won't go in.

Let me try.

Push harder!

Try to hammering it with the boat-hook.

Good idea.

That's it! Finally.

Oh, oh...

I believe you put it in the wrong sockets. This one should go there.

Oh no...

Ok, I'm pulling it out.

Humpf!

Will you help me, J.?

Ok. Three...

Two...

One...

Haaa!

Much much much later, we got them fixed.

Our boat, now with arches on it.

The covering is still lacking, though.

Let's see what I can find in it.

Nothing I need now.

The covering sheet for the boat!

Can you help me fix the covering?

Yes we will. You are totally unable to do it by yourself.

That's for sure.

Lets make it simple.

I'll fix the covering here at the back.

Then I will pass it to Harris.

Who will pass it to you, J.

Is that clear?

I think so.

I am waiting for you.

Ok, everybody stay at your post and be prepared.

So I kept by the bow to receive the covering.

It was a long time coming down to me...

Ok, I have fixed it properly.

Harris, take this edge while I enroll it carefully.
Harris, take this edge while I roll it carefully.
Ok, it is fastened here.

George did his part all right, but it was new work to Harris, and he bungled it.

How he managed it I do not know, he could not explain himself; but by some mysterious process or other he succeeded, after ten minutes of superhuman effort, in getting himself completely rolled up in it.

He was so firmly wrapped round and tucked in and folded over, that he could not get out.

He, of course, made frantic struggles for freedom-the birthright of every Englishman,-and, in doing so (I learned this afterwards), knocked over George; and then George, swearing at Harris, began to struggle too, and got himself entangled and rolled up.

I knew nothing about all this at the time.  I did not understand the business at all myself.  I had been told to stand where I was, and wait till the canvas came to me, and Montmorency and I stood there and waited, both as good as gold.

We could see the canvas being violently jerked and tossed about, pretty considerably; but we supposed this was part of the method, and did not interfere.

We also heard much smothered language coming from underneath it, and we guessed that they were finding the job rather troublesome, and concluded that we would wait until things had got a little simpler before we joined in.

We waited some time, but matters seemed to get only more and more involved, until...

GIVE US A HAND HERE, CAN'T YOU, YOU CUCKOO; STANDING THERE LIKE A STUFFED MUMMY, WHEN YOU SEE WE ARE BOTH BEING SUFFOCATED, YOU DUMMY!

Of course. I never could withstand an appeal for help.

It took us half an hour's hard labour, after that, before it was properly up.

Our boat, ready for the dinner and the night.

I can reach the water here.

I don't want to swim now.

The kettle is full of water.

Picnic point.

I'll leave that panel in place for the moment.

The weather looks good, but it's better if we set up a covering over our boat for the night.

The sky is beautiful, but I'm hungry.

I should help prepare the dinner.

What a beatiful night!
What a beautiful night!
Adding the lost knight anecdotes

It reminds me of a little story...

And so I wrote it in my notebook, under the name of : \"The Lost Knight\".

I can't reach the sky...

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Am I suppose to help you?

Where did you put the things, Harris?

How many of these things are there? Three? Four? I can't remember?
How many of these things are there? Three? Four? I can't remember.
Maybe we forgot one at London.
Maybe we forgot one in London.
I have looked everywhere, but I see none of them.

I can give you a few tips, if you wish.

Usually in that kind of situations, you just have to wait a little and a guy will pop-up and tell you an advice.
Usually in those kind of situations, you just have to wait a little and a guy will pop-up and give you an advice.
Have you searched in the boat?

Hey, Harris! Do you see one of them?

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J., can you prepare some hot water for tea while Harris and me set up diner?
J., can you prepare some hot water for tea while Harris and I set up dinner?
Sure, George.

Water is boiling!

At last. Let's eat dinner.

For five-and-thirty minutes not a sound was heard throughout the length and breadth of that boat, save the clank of cutlery and crockery, and the steady grinding of four sets of molars.

  Ah!

That was a nice dinner, wasn't it?

   Ah!

Yes, it was.

My head bumped against one of the hoops, but I did not mind it. I did not even swear.

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs.

How good one feels when one is full -how satisfied with ourselves and with the world!

People who have tried it, tell me that a clear conscience makes you very happy and contented; but a full stomach does the business quite as well, and is cheaper, and more easily obtained.

One feels so forgiving and generous after a substantial and well-digested meal -so noble-minded, so kindly-hearted.

I DON'T WANT ANY TEA; DO YOU, HARRIS?

OH, NO, I DON'T LIKE TEA; WE'LL HAVE LEMONADE INSTEAD.

TEA'S SO INDIGESTIBLE.

Hopfully, the kettle would have been tricked now.
Hopefully, the kettle would have been tricked now.
Harris, in moving about, trod on George's corn.

Had this happened before supper, George would have expressed wishes and desires concerning Harris's fate in this world and the next that would have made a thoughtful man shudder.

As it was, he said:

Steady, old man; 'ware wheat.

And Harris, instead of merely observing, in his most unpleasant tones, that a fellow could hardly help treading on some bit of George's foot, if he had to move about at all within ten yards of where George was sitting,

suggesting that George never ought to come into an ordinary sized boat with feet that length, and advising him to hang them over the side, as he would have done before supper, now said:

Oh, I'm so sorry, old chap; I hope I haven't hurt you.

Not at all; that it was my fault.

No, it wasn't. Let me insist: the fault was mine.

You are quite pretty to hear, you know.

I can go outside over there.

Useless...

Some of our luggage.

The methylated spirit stove...

The kettle...

...and the lighter.

A blanket for the night.

That was way easier than expected.

There is nothing more that I need.

We use this flat area to cook.

No need to cook anymore.

I am making the tea here.

I can put the spirit stove to cook here.

I should install the spirit stove first.

Not yet, the kettle is empty.

Everything is set up, now.
Everything is set up now.
I would rather look at the kettle a bit closer before doing anything stupid.

I am going to sleep.

Goodnight, George.

Goodnight, J.

I did get to sleep for a few hours, and then some part of the boat which seemed to have grown up in the night-for it certainly was not there when we started, and it had disappeared by the morning-kept digging into my spine.

I slept through it for a while, dreaming that I had swallowed a sovereign, and that they were cutting a hole in my back with a gimlet, so as to try and get it out.

I thought it very unkind of them, and I told them I would owe them the money, and they should have it at the end of the month.

But they would not hear of that, and said it would be much better if they had it then, because otherwise the interest would accumulate so.

I got quite cross with them after a bit, and told them what I thought of them, and then they gave the gimlet such an excruciating wrench that I woke up...

I am not going to bed without a blanket.

The bottom of the boat.

An ideal spot to sleep tonight.

Let's prepare my bed.

Let's have dinner before setting up the beds.

I'll let the lamp lighted, we need to see what we do.
I'll get the lamp lit, we need to see what we do.
The oil lamp is lighted.
The oil lamp is lit.
Exit

Affaires

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The water is boiling, I can put out the fire now.

I'm putting out the fire before leaving, it's safer.

This is not so interesting to look at.

Ouch, it's hot!

I need a lighter to light the spirit oven.

It is heating.

I can light the spirit oven here.

The spirit oven is already lit.

It is cold. But is seems logical: the spirit oven is put out.

The water is boiling!

The kettle is still cold...

It is no hotter than previously...
It is no hotter than before...
It is still cold. Why won't you boil, water?

It is still cold. Maybe George will know what to do?

Bruloire

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Chapter Xl

How George, once upon a time, got up early in the morning. -George, Harris, and Montmorency do not like the look of the cold water. -Heroism and determination on the part of J. -George and his shirt: story with a moral. -Harris as cook. -Historical retrospect, specially inserted for the use of schools.

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