Grimwood Adventure: Reluctant Visitor

SEPTEMBER 19, 1989

SOMEWHERE IN MIDDLE NEW ENGLAND

It was half past 7 PM, and the air was growing cooler in the woods. It was nearing the time for the night creatures like foxes to come out of their burrows to commence their nightly hunt for food. Brown bats, indigenous to most of New England, fluttered about from one tree to another. Meanwhile, the creatures of the daytime are settling in for the night, and preparing to go to sleep.

This is not the case for Anon.

The young man sat nervously in a dimly-lit room in the old mansion, which he now knows is called “Miss Grimwood’s Finishing School for GHOULS”. Anon has already been acquainted with five of its “students”:

Phantasma: A specter (most likely a poltergeist) with a taste for music and a chipper attitude.

Winnie: A lycanthrope (werewolf) with the demeanor of a puppy (and like a puppy, howls constantly).

Sibella: An attractive vampire whose puns are worse than her bite (i.e. “Fang-tastic!”).

Elsa: The daughter of Frankenstein’s monster. Loves to make potions and disassemble bodies for spare parts (to the dismay of her peers).

Tanis: A centuries-old mummy in the body of a small child.

Anon was now about to meet Miss Grimwood, though he didn’t know if he wanted to. In his mind, one of two things might happen: either he would be greeted warmly, or he would be bitten in half; the latter of which he thought would be the more likely of the two. He stood up, rubbed his still-sore head, slung his bag over his shoulder, and began to wander about the room. ‘Should I get outta here?” he wondered to himself as he paced back and forth. The dead silence in the room was interrupted by a clearly audible scampering sound coming from the darkened doorway behind Anon. He spun around and stared into the dark.

There was nothing.

Anon cautiously moved closer. The scampering sound began again and he froze. Then out of the blackness shot a bright, hot blast of flame that nearly caught Anon full in the face. He yelled and fell backwards. Before he could get back up, he was jumped upon by what looked like a cat-sized lizard. This creature was scaly and green, small bumps on its back and tail. It had a tuft of downy fur on its head that was a darker shade of green, and its yellow eyes stared curiously into Anon's; its snout sniffed about his face like a dog getting to know someone.

“Oh, Matches,” said a reedy voice, “that’s no way to treat a guest!” The lizard let out a low groan as he was picked up by this new person, who was clad in a pink dress and a red cape. As Anon stood up, he got a look at her face. This woman was middle aged, maybe around fifty-five, sixty. Her jet black hair was slightly ruffled and her pink headband was askew, but she nonetheless kept a grin on her face. "You've made quite an entrance this evening, dearie." she said with a chuckle. "I-- I, uh, didn't mean to--" Anon stammered. "No need to apologize," said the woman, "you're only human, and humans are curious people. Don't worry, I myself am VERY human." She outstretched her free hand as she held the pouting green creature with the other. "I am Miss Grimwood, headmistress." Anon took her hand and shook it. "I'm Anon," he said in a low tone. "Pleased to meet you," said Miss Grimwood, "I'm more than certain the girls are pleased to meet you as well." "Y-yeah, they were..." Anon replied, turning a bit pale at the mention of the girls. Grimwood laughed. "Don't be frightened of them, they neither possess, nor mummify. And don't let Matches here scare you either--he may let off a fireball one in a while, but he's otherwise a well-behaved dragon." The creature in her arms let out a frustrated groan.

"I should be going," said Anon, picking his bag up off the floor, "It's getting late, and I've got a ways to go." "Allow me to cut the journey in half," said Grimwood with a smile. Without another word, she held her open hand a few inches in front of Anon's face, slowly closed it into a fist, and then she opened it in a split-second movement--there was a FLASH and then darkness. "Hey, what'd you--" Anon began, but he realized that he was now standing in his empty living room, lit only by the lamp on the couch end table. He checked the clock up on the wall; it read 8:10. "How'd she do that?" he wondered to himself.

ONE DAY LATER

Anon contemplated weather or not it would be a good idea to go back to the mansion. It was weird though, that he was greeted by its inhabitants so calmly; had it been a normal finishing school he would've been tossed out immediately, most likely with a few missing teeth. If the five students he met were really as harmless as Miss Grimwood put them out to be, then he'd like to get to know them a little more. He was as intrigued as much as he was nervous.
It was a bright, cool Sunday morning, and he wanted to do something with the time he had before tomorrow's full day of sitting in class. He decided to go to the music shop (which was closed on Mondays and Tuesdays) to look through the cassettes. While it's true that Compact Discs were ruling the market at the moment, Anon simply couldn't afford a Discman. After picking up two new cassettes and hearing a rumor that Phil Collins was going to make another album this year, Anon made his way home, still deciding weather or not to return to the mansion.

Meanwhile on the mansion's third floor, Sibella sat with her back to the cracked and dusty window, a parasol in one hand and a book in another. She was reading a history of the Salem Witch Trials of 1692 and 1693, but she wasn't really reading it. Her mind was presently centered on the young man who had ventured into the place. Funny, she thought, he was the first male face she'd seen since the previous gym teacher resigned. "Are you thinking about him too?" said Phantasma, her head materializing from the ceiling. Her sudden appearances were no surprise to Sibella, as she calmly looked up and said "No, not really." This wasn't at all truthful, and Phantasma knew it. "Aw, come on," she said, coming down from the ceiling to the floor. "He's been on EVERYBODY'S mind! And I saw the way you were touching his face!" "No, really, he hasn't been on my mind!" insisted Sibella, who was now blushing a little. "I've been concentrating on this book for most of the day!" "Oh really?" said Phantasma with a growing smile, "I can't see how how can concentrate on a book when it's upside-down!" Confused, Sibella looked at her book and saw that she was indeed holding it upside-down. She blushed even more as Phantasma laughed. "Shaddup, Phanty!" she scowled. "I knew it, I knew it!" Phanty sang as she flew off and disappeared into the corridor.

On the ground floor, Phantasma could hear Winnie having a battle with an electric clipper in the lavatories, and by the sound of it the clipper was winning. Tanis was sitting on a moth-eaten chair and staring patiently out a window. “Hey Tanis, have you seen Elsa?” Phanty asked. “She’s in the lab,” replied Tanis, not turning away from the window. “Oh. Well, what’s out there today, more dead trees?” Phanty said, trying to lighten the day’s dull mood. “I’m waiting for him to come back.” said Tanis, still not turning away from the window. “That’d be great, but I dunno,” said Phanty with a frown, “he seemed pretty eager to leave.” Then from behind them, they heard a loud gasp followed by “Oh, Freude!” Scrambling up the stairs and throwing open the battered laboratory door was a very happy Elsa, who was closely fallowed by a sea-green plume of smoke. “I see him coming!”

Anon, now equipped with his bicycle, was tearing his way down the trail. He had finally decided to return with the desire to know the students better. Skidding to a stop, he dismounted, propped his bike against the wall, and strode through the gate up the walkway. when he got to the doorstep, they must’ve known he was coming, for the doors were opened for him by... a disembodied hand? Anon just stood there, eyes wide and staring, as the hand beckoned him inside. Slowly he stepped in and the doors shut behind him.

The hand hovered next to Anon, and pointed down the passageway. He did as he was directed and started down the hallway. He managed to take about five steps in the passage before he was plowed out of it by Elsa, who wrapped him in a crushing death-hug. “Willkommen!” she said happily, as Anon strained and squirmed. “I... I can’t...breathe!” he managed to choke out. “Oh,” said Elsa sheepishly, releasing him from her grip, “sorry about zat.” Before Anon could catch his breath, Phantasma had poked in her head from behind and popped out of his chest, both staring at each other with wide eyes. “Hey, you!” she said with her large smile, and then, looking over (or rather looking up) to Elsa, she said “Try not to crush him to a pulp next time, okay?” With that, she materialized the rest of herself through Anon. It was a funny tingly sensation, he thought, like a hand that had fallen asleep only it went through his whole body. “Hello--” Anon began, but he was cut off by something gripping his leg, which turned out to be Tanis hugging it. He could not help but smile at this.

“Hey, weren’t there five of you?” Anon asked. “Hold zat thought--I’ve something to show you!” said Elsa, taking him by the hand and guiding him to the lab, to which Phanty and Tanis followed. The lab was like the ones featured in the old horror films: rows of beakers with colored substances in them, shelves full of bottles, test tube racks with the tubes fizzing and gurgling with acidic liquids, countless books ranging in size and subject, and so on. In the center of the room was a large cauldron suspended over an open flame. It was boiling with a vile-looking murky green substance that appeared to have a skin floating on the surface. It reeked of decayed fish combined with melted cheese. “What do you think?” Elsa beamed. “Erm... what is it?” asked Anon, pulling his shirt collar over his nose and mouth. “Zis,” Elsa said as she stirred the soupy mixture, “is what will ace me in ze potions class.” Rolling up her left sleeve and taking a ladle off a nearby rack, she extracted a small amount of the liquid, and suspended it over her bare arm. “Zis elixir will help to solve ze problem of hair loss in ze event zat a student should afflicted by pattern hair loss, or simply had an accident.” With that, she dripped some of the liquid on her arm. It ran a little down her arm, and then it soaked into her pale skin. Only eight seconds later, a small patch of scraggly hair sprouted from her forearm. Anon and the others stared in amazement. “That’s actually pretty neat!” he said with a half-smile. Elsa grinned proudly.
“LEMME AT IT!” shouted another familiar voice from the doorway, and Winnie came bounding into view. Anon only had a few seconds to notice the several patches of hair missing from her body and head before she dove straight into the cauldron with a tremendous splash. The cauldron rocked violently back and forth but otherwise stayed where it was. “YEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWCH!!!” howled Winnie as she burst out of the hot liquid as fast as she went in, and landed hard on the concrete floor in a wet, steaming mess. Nobody said a word.

Picking herself up, Winnie stood there, her patchy, wet hair hanging over her head like an unwrung mop. “Okay,” she said in a low tone, “what happens nex--” POMPHH!
Hair sprung out from everywhere on her body, muffling whatever she said next. What a sight! She looked like Cousin Itt with ginger curls instead of a bowler hat. Everyone burst out into fits of laughter, even Anon couldn’t hold it in.

And so began an interesting series of exploits with Anon's newfound friends...

TO BE CONTINUED