<␈Judas␈>␈ So. let me regale you all with a tale.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ I woke up this morning and my back hurt.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ This often happens when i have stress at work.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ My typical solution is to head to the mall and get a back massage from the Tuina guys at one of the several stands they have. It's usually fairly cheap and works. I'm a big fan of tuina because i did a 4 week course in it before. You know, nothing major but I enjoy it.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ Anyways, there is a local asian massage place around the corner. So i thought i'd give it a shot.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ Up until now, angela and i have joked that this is probably a hand-jobbery, also known as a rub-and-tug.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ My experience with the place left my opinion in limbo about whether or not it is.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ First off, I enter and it's a house. It's someone's house that has a massage room built in. Ok. Whatever, home business, enterprise, whatever. Obviously they do a good job if they've been here for years.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ Anyways, so i ask for an hour massage on my back. Then ask if I can leave a tip on my card because i don't carry cash.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ She says yes. Then says 20.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ I say 15. She says 20.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ I say 15. She says 20 again. I leave a 20 dollar tip before i get my massage. I figure, well this is a walk-in appointment.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ So she leaves the room and says strip. So there isn't much here. There is a couch and the massage bench and a folder towel at the end to place my feet.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ so i strip to my underwear and lay off.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ she comes in again and says strip. I say, i'd like to leave them on.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ She pulls off my boxers.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ now. This is where most people would leave right? But i already paid.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ so i'm thinking, ok let's see how fucking weird this gets. It got worse.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ I should note that this does not end in a happy ending if that's what anyone is worried about
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ because that's the only thought running through my mind, "How do you turn down a hand job from someone that barely speaks English?"
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ ok. anyways. she starts working my back. and it feels good.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ she works down my back.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ and then there it is
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ she starts rubbing my ass.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ like deep tissue massage, going to town, really working that butt.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ and i'm silent
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ because i want to say don't do that. but at the same time it was connected to the part of the back rub that i was receiving in my lower back. So i'm thinking, maybe this is part of it.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ then she abandons the back.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ and for the next 20 minutes the masseuse is just digging elbows into my rump.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ you know, really in there.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ for a long time.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ so i start to think, did she misunderstand the gesture i made at the beginning showing my back was in pain for my ass was in pain?
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ either way, the ass massage got a lot more invasive.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ and no, not as an internal invasive. She merely brushed my balls and touched my taint. Which i think scared her. Not because she did it but because I *clenched*
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ so she abandons that and starts rubbing my thighs. All the time i'm thinking, how the fuck do i turn down a handjob.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ because i can just see that as being what comes next given all of this.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ I tried to make small talk "So is this tuina" "Yes, I massage 7 years."
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ ok. so that's not going to work.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ then i request for her to move back up my back and she does... and that ends a lot of the awkwardness until the end. where she stops and sits there. Then i get up look at her.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ then she walks away
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ like what the fuck was that.
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ She didn't say anything. Just stopped and stared at my naked nerd flesh
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ ....
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ it was... very weird
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ anyways, that was my excitement this morning
␈<␈Judas␈>␈ tl;dr I think a woman made me pay her for a hand job i didn't want or receive.