Noire's field day

Finally, the typing came to an end. Blanc relaxed, allowing herself a smile. The paperwork was done, Mina was taking the twins to the museum to watch some old bones, and her latest novel was finally finished. In short, she was alone, with nothing to do. She was bored.
Leaving the desk, she walked to the window, looking down at Lowee. She could see the people, her people, walking around, looking busy, and talking to each other, while she was alone in complete silence. She returned to her computer, and opened the guild website, looking if there was any big quest she could take. Fighting a dragon would be interesting, plus she could use the claws as decorations.
But no, there was only a few small jobs. As a CPU, accepting these quests would be a disgrace.
“Aaah~”
So bored. If only something would happen. Anything.
“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAANC!”
Okay, maybe not anything.
“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAANC!”
Blanc stood up, desperately looking for a place to hide. It was a matter of seconds before-
“BLAAAAAAAAAAAAANC!”
It was already too late. Neptune was in the room.
“Blanc it's bloodaliciously awful you see I was juggaloing my way to the fridge while trying some face paint I borrowed from David but when I opened the fridge it was empty so I ran to Nepgear but when she saw me she screamed and jumped from the window yelling about skeletons so I washed my face and came here as fast as I could because I need your help please please please!”
For a brief moment, Blanc considered throwing Neptune through the window. Without opening said window first. But her boredom got the best of her, and she did an unthinkable mistake that would haunt her until the end of the story.
“Fine, I'll help you. What's the problem?”
Neptune raised a grateful face drenched with tears to Blanc, causing the flat goddess to scream in horror. Neptune explained she washed her face, but to anyone else, it was very obvious it was a sloppy job. If anything, the half-baked cleaning only made her face paint even more horrible than it probably was when she terrorized Nepgear. Instead of looking like a moron who painted a skull over her own face, Neptune now looked like a moron who had her face melting off, revealing the skull underneath it.


Meanwhile, in the Ultradimension, Plutia was sleeping. Or more exactly, napping. Or, even more exactly than before, taking a morning post-nap break.
Hovering over the sleeping goddess, was the small Histoire. She gave up on waking Plutia a long time, and was now looking for help on the Histoire Wide Net. It would probably take her three days to find a topic related to her problem on the giant forum, but it's not like Plutia was going anywhere anyway.
'How do I motivate Neptune – please help I'm so mental I could break a tree and snort it' said the first thread. Replies were all similar to 'sorry I gave up, don't do drugs'.
'Which Planeptune CPU is best CPU? I'm stuck with Uranus, she's meh'. The general consensus was that Neptune was extremely difficult to motivate but easier to work with than Plutia. Histoires in charge of Uranus were extremely rare.
'I tried spanking Neptune with a book, it totally worked, try it' said another thread. Curious, the mini-Histoire opened it and began to read the replies. 'Tried it, Neptune was just too shocked and broke down in tears', 'tried it, she snatched the book from me and spanked me with it, don't listen to OP' and the last was 'I DON'T suggest trying it with a non-amnesiac Neptune, and don't even try on Purple Heart'.
Sighing, Histoire disconnected from the network. In the end, the suggestions were all the same : try to encourage with a reward, or threaten somehow. And given Plutia's personality, the threats would be doomed to fail, and Histoire couldn't think of any reward that would get Plutia motivated enough to work.
“!” The sleeping goddess suddenly opened her eyes. “Neptune is here!” She said, while jumping from the sofa without any trace of fatigue.
It was at this moment that Histoire knew. She was in luck.


“Pull yourself together, dammit! You're the one who dragged me here!”
“I hunger too much to mooove... Who do you think I am, Sinistar?”
Blanc cursed herself for her stupidity. She should have just thrown Neptune out when she had a chance instead of expecting the lazy goddess to bring her in a fun adventure. And instead of a fun adventure, Blanc was now stuck with a Neptune in withdrawal, and was doing her best to drag the moaning goddess by her arm and not by her throat. Only her respect for Purple Heart's fighting abilities and a very small friendship kept her from murdering Neptune immediately and bury her somewhere.
“You know Neptune, I'm sure there are plenty of alternative dimensions where I probably already killed you out of frustration.”
“Blanny, don't you feel bad saying that? What will the reader think? He's already struggling to figure out what we're doing right now and why we're in Plutia's dimension.”
“SHUUUT UP! You're the one who started that ridiculous quest! Couldn't you just get satisfied with some random pudding? NOOOOO you want pudding from the Ultradimension, because you're so much of a pain in the ass that you want specific pudding!”
“Nice job with the exposition, Blanny, you're-”
Neptune fell to the ground after Blanc punched her. The flat goddess waited for a while, but the meme goddess refused to move.
“Shit, I knocked her out.” Complained Blanc.
A huge text displayed over Neptune's unconscious body. It said 'QUEST FAILED'.

To be continued (never).