Faux, Myself

Faux, Myself --- By Faux Shores


I am not a morning person. It’s not that I hate getting up early so much as it is I can never bring myself to go to sleep at a good time. I rolled over to check the time on my phone. Six Thirty-Seven—I never thought eight minutes could look so tempting.

I rolled out of bed anyways. With class starting at eight I figured I should go ahead and get my shower over with. I forged my way to the bathroom, braising the wall as I stumbled around like a troll. The bathroom light was bright, like it always was, which was something I always hated about mornings. I let the shower start heating up as I looked around for my toothpaste, which proved to be a difficult task. I gave up on it, and instead slid into the steamy water. Who needs clean teeth anyways?

After drying off I struggled with finding my comb. Why the fuck am I losing everything? I shook my hair until it fell into a relatively maintained arrangement and decided it was good enough—I wasn’t awake enough to really give a shit anyways. I grabbed my backpack and walked to unlock my front door. What the..

My door didn’t have a lock. Hell. My door didn’t have a handle. I’m dreaming. Of all the dreams, this is the dream I’m having. Unbelievable.

“You aren’t dreaming.”

I rolled my eyes and turned around. “Yeah well, some random person showing up probably isn’t helping your argument.” I faced the guy in the room. He had a bit of stubble on his face, long auburn hair and a short smile. I ignored him.

“If I wanted to wake up twice I would set an earlier alarm” I told him as I walked back into my bedroom. I shook my head and pinched my side in an attempt to wake from the most boring dream man has ever had.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to wake up from this shit so I can either actually get up for class or get another hour of sleep, if I’m lucky.”

He walked closer to me. “That isn’t going to work” He said.

This guy was starting to get on my nerves. “Yeah well, it’s worth trying.”

He grabbed my arm. “You aren’t asleep.”

His touch felt strange. It wasn’t what I was used to in dreams. In a dream everything feels the same. Touch, sight, smell, taste, it’s like you can sense everything at once. This felt different.

“Let go of me.” I said. He glared back as a response.

“You aren’t asleep.”

“Okay, then why do I not have a working door?”

His stare was menacing, I’ll give him that. I had to shift my eye contact away to avoid feeling uncomfortable. I turned back to my door and looked at it. No lock, no handle. I leaned towards my window to pull away the blinds and there was nothing—Just a white wall.

“See? No window.”

He gave a small smirk, like the one he had earlier. “That doesn’t mean you are asleep.”

I looked at him condescendingly. “Really?” I slid my arms across the wall like an idiot. “What happened to my window then? If I’m not asleep then what am I?”

He approached me now. “You aren’t real.” He spoke nonchalantly.

I laughed. “So what, am I having a Matrix dream then? Well it’s better than walking to class.”

He walked up to the door, a little closer than I would have liked. “Like I said, you aren’t asleep.” He opened the door and motioned for me to exit. I looked out my front door to see a hallway from the house that I used to live in when I was a kid. “Do you want an explanation or not?”

I decided to play along. “Alright, I’m here aren’t I? Might as well enjoy myself.”

He pushed me out the door. I walked down the hallway and stepped into a room I hadn’t seen in ages. It was the basement I used to have all of my games and stuff in when I was a kid. My first girlfriend and I used to come down here for a bit of privacy. I liked this basement.

I turned to ask the stranger why he brought me here when he pushed me onto the floor. I landed on my ass. “What the fuck man?”

“Shut up.” He said to me. He closed the door behind him as he walked to the other side of the room.

I stood back up. “This is my dream bro. Don’t shove me around.”

“This is my dream too.” He said as he leaned against the wall. He pulled out a cigarette as he smiled at me. It was the absolute worst cliché of a guy trying to act cool. “and don’t pretend like you don’t like it.”

I laughed. I had had some rough moments in this room, but it was with someone I was much fonder of. “Who are you supposed to be anyways?” I said as I got myself back on my feet.

“I’m you” he said.

“That’s retarded. I don’t smoke, I don’t try too hard to be cool, and I’m not an asshole.”

“I know exactly what you are.” He said. He crossed his arms as he looked at me. I didn’t realize it at first, but he had a very punchable face. “That’s why we’re both here. Because I know exactly who you are.”

I approached him. “What does that even mean? This is seriously the lowest quality dream I can think of, I’m disappointed with myself.”

He looked me in the eyes. “What did you do yesterday?”

I was confused. “What are you talking about?”

He coughed as he blew out a drag. “What did you do yesterday?”

I smiled. “That’s easy, I do what I always do and..” My eyebrows furrowed. Now that I think about it, I don’t actually remember what I did yesterday.

“What did you do the day before? Or in the last week?”

I couldn’t remember what I had done. I had never tried to recall anything in a dream before. “Fine. So I can’t remember what I did while I’m asleep.”

He chuckled to himself. “You aren’t asleep”

I leaned in towards him. “Yes, I am, and it’s a pretty shitty dream for all—“

*SLAP*

My face flushed as I moved a hand to rub it. “What the fuck man?”

He grabbed my shirt. “You want to know what’s going on?” He yanked me to the side. “You aren’t real. None of this is real. Do you want to know why it isn’t real?”

I sighed. “Why?”

“Because this is the only way I can be happy.”

I blinked. “Wait. What?”

He looked me in the eyes again. “We are the same person. You are a copy of me.”

I smiled. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about us. We are the same person.” He looked at me as if he was expecting me to get what he was talking about. “What is the last thing you can remember?”

I thought back. The last thing I remembered was getting ready to go off to college, which was weird cause I knew that I had been attending it already. “Before I went to college, why?”

He sat down on the couch that was in the middle of the room. “Do you not remember actually going to classes?”

I couldn’t remember for some reason. I knew that I had, but the memory was escaping me. “No, I know that I have, but I can’t remember.”

“That’s because I erased those memories.”

I gave him a sort of ‘Are you fucking serious’ look.

“After I went to college, there was a guy at MIT who figured out how to copy information from the brain into a computer. That is why you are here.”

I walked to sit down next to him. “You are batshit fucking crazy bro.”

“No. I’m not. It will make sense in a bit.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, even if this crazy hypothetical situation WAS true, why would you erase my memory?”

He smiled. “If I didn’t erase it, you would have remembered all of the planning I did for this moment, and it wouldn’t mean as much.”

I was confused. “What moment? What are you talking about?”

He pushed me backwards onto the couch and leaned over me.

“Wooooaaaahhhhhhh there buddy” I said as I pushed him back. “What the hell do you think you are doing?”

He pushed me down. I hated to admit it, but he was really strong. He got up close to my face and started whispering. “You know exactly what I am doing.” He leaned up to my ear. “Don’t you Faux?”

My heart skipped a beat. I had never heard that name used before—not by anyone but myself. “What did you..?”

“I used your name.” he said, having pulled back a bit.

“That’s…that not my..”

“You can’t lie to me” He laughed. “There are a lot of people you can lie to, but not me. I know everything about you.” He smiled as he grabbed my hand. “You can’t honestly expect me to believe that you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

My heart was beating faster. This was the weirdest dream I had ever had and I had no idea what to expect from it.

“No more secrets Faux.” He smiled. “Everything is on the table.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked him, shaking a bit more than I would have liked.

He smiled again. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. I know everything about you.” He said as he traced his finger down the side of my chest. “We always had a weird sexuality.” He laughed. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you by the name of that OC you thought up.”

I tried to respond, but all that came out was muffled choking.

“You know what is going to happen here, don’t you?”

I blushed. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

He unleashed a devious grin as he leaned back towards me. “The 4chan threads? The >jazztext stories? All the times we jerked it to the thought of this happening right now?” He grabbed my hand again. I would have tried to stop him, but I didn’t want to anymore. “You even told your old girlfriend that you always felt uncomfortable as a guy. We both know that this is what you need Faux.”

He brought my hand up in front of my face. What I saw made my blood boil. The bones were melding together; a thin layer of orange fur was sprouting from it, slowly moving up my forearm. He gave me a sly grin. “Do you know why I am doing this Faux?”

I swallowed. Words were hard. “No.” I stammered. “No, I don’t”

His grin faded. “Because I can’t have it.” He pushed his hands into my chest, looming over me like a demon. “You and I are the same, and you know just as much as me that this is what we want.” He emphasized his words by showing his own hands turning into hooves. “You are in a computer Faux. A sentient copy of my own mind. We are the exact same, and yet you have something that I envy more than anything else.” He slid his newly formed hoof down my chest. “You are dynamic.”

His tone had completely changed. What was originally almost romantic was quickly becoming much darker. “I have the ability to grant your every wish.” He said, moving his hoof even lower down my chest. “Your hands” he whispered, as he brought my new found hooves into view.--“Your hair” he grunted, as he pulled locks of my ochre mane in front of my eyes-- “Your face” he mused, as he brought his own to meet with mine.

I was lost in a moment I never expected. I could feel his jaw deforming as he perused my own, his tongue sliding alongside mine. My entire head felt fuzzy as he pushed me deeper into the couch, pulling on my mane. When he surfaced from my mouth he looked at me with all of the affection I could imagine, and more envy than I had ever seen in a man’s eyes.

He crawled on top of me. I didn’t notice at first, but the room was darker now than it had been. He broke eye contact as he stared at my now furry neck. “I will never be able to experience what you are going through Faux.” His hoof returned to my chest, lowering itself with objective. “But I know that you feel exactly as I do.” As he lowered his hoof even further down my waist he began to suckle on the nape of my neck. “I will never know how it feels to be the pretty mare.” He said as he brought his head back up to look into my eyes. “But I can give that feeling to you.”

His hoof pulled away the top of my shorts and I gasped. The fur had almost reached the bottom of my chest, bringing the top half of my body into the equine family. As he traced the tip of my maleness with his hoof, I could see the same changes happening to him. His fur was almost to his lower body now, having the same texture and color as my own. I didn’t realize until now that he was the male version of my OC.

“I want to hear you say it” he whispered.

I stopped staring at his changing body and made eye contact once more. “What do you mean?” I asked. My heart was racing. The voice that came out when I spoke was not what I was expecting. It was soft and velvety—unlike any quality of my voice before. I almost couldn’t believe that I had spoken.

“I’m not going to continue until I hear you say it.” He said. His hoof stopped moving and the fur stopped spreading down my body.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked—heart racing.

“I want to hear you say how much you want this.” He was tracing my cheek with his other hoof.

“You know how I’m feeling.” I said, breathing heavier. “You must know at this point.”

“Say it”

I closed my eyes and exhaled. “I want to be a mare.”

He smiled. Tenderly, he slid his hoof down my now completely erect shaft. “Say it again.”

I pulled the soon to be stallion down to my chest. I wrapped my fore hooves around his neck and brought myself to his ear. “I want to be a mare.” I whispered.

He prodded me with his hoof.  He bit down on my new ear and moaned into it. “I don’t believe you.”

My heart was racing, with a spare hoof I slid the shorts off of my captor and slid his stallionhood into my fetlock. Gripping it as well as I could with my new body I slid down his growing girth. “I want to be your mare!” I said through my moans even louder into his ear.

He rubbed my shrinking dick and shoved me as hard as he could into the couch. I could barely breathe as he rubbed himself across my exposed pony belly. “Louder you slut!” he demanded of me as he bit my neck.

I felt pleasure like I never had before. It wasn’t like an orgasm, but flowing warmth of emotion curdling thorough my veins. My cheeks blushed with a fire I had never known as I screamed in elation—“Make me your bitch!”

He grinned at me with the most conflicted face I had ever seen. It was pleasure, pain and elation all mixed in one. “I already have.” With a firm and tender touch, he slid his hoof through the folds of my new organ, drawing a noise I had never heard escape my lips. He dove deep into my mouth with his tongue, pulling again on my mane as he massaged my new marehood. Beneath him I quivered in ecstasy.

Moments seemed like hours. I was lost in this stallion’s grasp. Every movement sent shivers down my spine, and I could feel tears falling down the corners of my eyes. Every instant felt like heaven.

Breaking me from my fantasy, the stallion lowered himself down my body. With my forelegs pinned firmly beneath him he saw the sparkle of pure pleasure in my eyes. Without any notice he prodded my new lips with his now dripping member. With a short grunt he found his mark and slid into my more than damp pussy. My vision went black. All air seemed to escape my lungs. I knew I was screaming but I couldn’t hear myself. All of my senses were gone but one.

Thump.
Thump.
Thump.

I was completely lost. The core of my existence had shifted. I was transformed, mutilated by this stallion. The only thing in my life that mattered was this new feeling. The essence of my soul was wrapped around his shaft, being pounded rhythmically into submission, enjoying every thrust. I was dripping, sopping, mindlessly melting onto my savior. Nothing ever felt so right.

Thump.
Thump.
Thump.

My vision returned. A sensory supernova wracked my brain. I screamed like a banshee as I coated my stallion with waves of my juices. Orgasm after orgasm brought me higher than any addict. My body was a tool. My legs dangled from the couch as the stallion pumped his body into me, using me like the whore that I was. The basement was an earthquake.

Then, breaking me from my spell, he screamed. A tone of anger, love and despair, he thrust himself as deep as his body would allow, filling me with a torrent of his seed. Salvo after salvo, his cum splurged from me like a bug splattering on a car. Finally he collapsed.

I couldn’t move. My body was numb and my mind was shattered. Through heavy breathing I heard a faint noise. With my mind returning to me I regained some focus. Atop my now fully pony body laid a broken stallion. He dug his head deep into my neck as he cried faintly.

I lied there conflicted. His muffled tears flowed down my neck and into the cloth beneath us. I knew exactly what was going through his mind, and I knew how much it hurt. I didn’t know what to say, so I brought my hooves to his back in a tight hug.

He pushed himself off of me. He couldn’t keep eye contact as he pulled out, and I shuddered as he did. He stepped off of the couch and started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” I asked him.

“To finish all of this.” He said plainly.

I looked at the floor, unsure of what to say. “Are you alright?” I asked sheepishly.

He glared back at me. “No.” he said. “I’m not okay, and you know that.”

My eyes teared up a bit. I knew exactly what he was feeling, but I had to say something about it.

“You know I’m not really in here. This body, me?” he said. “It’s not real. I’m just code.” He looked at the ground. “I’m just a voice. That much is real. You can hear me as I really am, but this—“ he said, pointing to himself “is a charade.”

He approached me again. “I can’t feel this Faux.” He said, rubbing his chest with his hoof. “It’s just an avatar, with my voice, that I can move.”

I sank into the couch. I didn’t know what to say to him.

“But you, ahh” he choked. “You can. This is real for you. YOU are real.” He laughed. Or cried. I couldn’t tell. “You are all I have Faux. I can’t give myself what you have. I could only give it to you.” His eyes were tearing up again. “I could have gotten rid of all of your memories. Made you a pretty mare from the start, let you grow up happy. No.” his eyes dropped to the floor. “Fuck that. THAT isn’t what would make you happy.” He approached me again, this time with fire in his blurry eyes. “I’m sorry we had our past. But like it or not, it’s what is making you appreciate that body so much. I don’t have the option to be who we really are.” His eyes were a waterfall at this point. “You KNOW how hard it is for me right now, to see you like this. To be LIVING that DREAM.”

I couldn’t help but cry.

“Promise me that you will live every bit of the life that I can’t”

I nodded.

He turned around. He stood for a moment before saying anything. “Good. Then I can send you away now.”

I stood up from the couch. “Where am I going?” I asked

“Where everypony else is Faux. You aren’t the only one.”

The stallion started for the door that he came in through initially. I bolted behind him.

“Don’t go.” I said. “I just met you.”

He gritted his teeth. “You’ve known me your whole life Faux. This is just the point where we go our separate ways.”

I knew how much he must be hurting. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t deserve what I have without him.

“If…If I could trade you” I stammered.

He turned to me with hate.

“Don’t you fucking lie.” He got in my face, pushing my back “DON’T YOU FUCKING LIE ABOUT THAT!”

I fell on my haunches. I broke down into full on crying. He tried to regain his composure.

“You know you wouldn’t trade me for this Faux.” He was right. I would never give this up.

He looked me over. “You’re a mess” he said.

Suddenly my body was clean again. He rubbed a hoof through my now neatly arranged bangs.

“Take care of yourself” he whispered.

“…I will.” I replied, kissing him again gently.

He pulled away and made for the door.

“Thank you..” I whispered.

He turned to me with a half-smile. “I would only do it for you.” He said. With that he closed the door behind him. Moments later the room shook. The light flashed a few times and the walls disappeared. I looked up to see a bright and cloudy sky. The wind blew through my mane and I could hear the sound of a city behind me. I turned around and smiled.

I was happy. It was hard to feel happy, after what had just happened, but I knew that I was here to be happy, so I needed to be. In front of me was a sign. There was a language I had never seen written upon it, and yet I knew what it said. I wondered if I still spoke English, or if I was now thinking in some kind of pony language. I lost myself in thought for a moment, only to be brought back at the feeling of a hoof on my shoulder.

“Is everything okay miss?” a voice spoke. I turned to see that a minty green unicorn had stopped to check on me. I smiled. It was a strange feeling, knowing someone before they know you.

“Yes. I’m fine. I just need a moment.” I said to her with a smile. She returned the favor and wished me a happy afternoon. I turned back to the sign that had greeted me. With a deep breath I approached the path to its left. I never believed in destiny, but this was where I was meant to be. I whispered a prayer for the one who let me be here. I would make sure to have this life be worth living. With my new life beginning, I entered the unknown. Welcome to Canterlot.