halo copypasta

As someone who knows nothing about this slynki, or his timing, I can only conclude that his timing is calculated by measuring the shadows created by the sun against his receding hair line, much like a sun dial

Outside...Haven't seen it in years. When I started streaming, the outside grid was all theory and politics. Now look! My runs are just one of three hundred resets a minute. My reset button can cut clean through a Xbox captial system. With coordinated fire from the Metropolis Scarab and terrible driving, nothing will keep a run. Resets have been happening all morning. Nobody's saying much in chat, but I think something big is about to happen.

Serious chat...Haven't seen it in years. When I started watching MisterMonopoli, the Twitch chat grid was all serenity and serious talk. Now look! My chat experience is just one of three hundred devolving maturities a minute. My keyboard can cut clean through a 12-year old infested system. With coordinated typing from the QWERTY and meme posting, nothing will keep this chat safe. Copypastas have been happening all morning. Nobody's saying much (of meaning) in chat, but I think something big is about to happen.

Outside... haven't seen it in years. When I turned on this computer, Halo 2 Anniversary was all speculation and fan-theory. Now look! Halo 2 Anniversary is just one of 4 disappointments included in the Master Chief collection. That collection fails to play all the maps from every main Halo game to date. With nearly no playlists and 1080p graphics at 60FPS, nothing's getting 343 out in one piece.

Halo invented: FPS, Walking, First person, Guns, Melee, Vehicles, Space soldiers, Space, AI assistant girls, Girls, Men, Cutscenes, Gameplay, and Money.

i'm old enough to be your father and i was enjoying this stream before you gave into the dime a dozen trolls. good night, learn to grow up and ignore idiots.

Streamer, I am boycotting you. You have needlessly slaughtered thousands of innocent Covenant forces over the years. On behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Grunts, I implore you to stop!

Daily reminder that hiipfire is LITERALLY 15 years old

Dear HaloRuns.com, we the twitch.tv chat refuse to support you unless you recognize the true champions of Halo. NORMAL DIFFICULTY RUNNERS...

you spent all these years just to do a speed run nad you are proud of yourself? Are you SICK? We all like playing video games but guys like you have just fucked their lives up. Think! you are 30, with no girlfriend, you still live with you mum, you cant do anything else than playing video games and anyone can beat you up! You really must be the bravest person in the world! If i were you i'm sure i would have killed myslef long ago

im so fucking tired of hearing about halo, halo 2, halo 3, and all these literally shit games that are being forced harder than reddit memes halo and his crew of viralers need to be thrown into a dumpster fire

Hello SlidingShot, I am a new user of twitch and I recently started doing Super Mario Sixty Four 30-star speedruns. It has been difficult to convince myself to carry on with the runs because i never have any viewers, so I was wondering if you would mind shouting out my channel? I also produce quality Call of Duty Ghosts trickshot montages, so if you could also shout out my youtube channel, it would be a big help. Thanks again, speedman!

I hope I never have the misfortune of ever meeting you in real life, you disgusting human being. Rest assured, I will snap your fucking head in two if I ever see you. Enjoy your future alcohol abuse and spousal abuse! Die alone, you fucking asshole.

I hope I never have the misfortune of ever meeting you in real life, you disgusting spammers. Rest assured, I will chop your fucking hassan in two if I ever see you. Enjoy your future memegames and shit times! Choke alone, you fucking memelords.

Since this whole stream is an obvious cry for help from you, I'll make you an offer you can't refuse. I'll teach you how to Halo for the low low price of just $59.99 per week! That's right, for a limited time only, I'll help you get your BR up for half off! You'll be four-shotting BKs in no time! Call now, and get good before the Destiny beta!

you are virgin loser who play halo all day haven't been outside in months. Never kissed a girl have acne all over your face don't even lift except your frozen pizzas and 2 litter mountain dews. You all smell like a cum rag your parents hate you

> slynki invented monopoli
This has made me realise something: Slynki is the DR who created Frankenstein, and Monopoli is the monster himself. Monopoli was appalled that he was made to be better than Slynki (the best there ever was), so he turned on Slynki. Slynki tried to appease the monstrous Monopoli but in the end realised he had to destroy his creation. They chased each other across the internet, slowly whitlling down each others mentality, Slynki's fading moreso than Monopoli's, just like his hairline. Eventually Slynki succumbed to the butthurt, and Monopoli hasn't been the same since...

wow amazing stuff, very impressive speed run. I think you should be allowed to have sex with the chick who voices Cortana and she has to say your name during and refer to your penis as chief.

So today I was walking on to campus and I saw this hot girl in a purple twitch hoodie. Naturally i have to compliment her so I say damn girl thats a nice hoodie. She says, hehehe thanks, do you watch twitch? Do I watch twitch? Psh, I fucking stream halo speed runs. She says, oh that's so cool, do you know mistermonopoli? I say, fuck yeah I do. Anyways, we talk for a while then she gives me her number. That's the story of how monopoli got me the girl.

monopoli i am in love with you and i am not ashamed to admit it. your speedruns of this classic video game make me want to roll up all of my belongings and make my way right into your life. you are a shining star and your streams are always the happiest times of my day. if i have a bad day at school or work, I know I can count on you to cheer me up and that you'll be waiting for me here on the internet. even though I only know you through your video game playing I really feel a connection! we have a lot in common. well, what do you think monopoli??

Momopoli, we (the chat of your son's attempt at a solo marathon run) would like to offer our sincere thanks for bringing him into the world. Though he's bad at games, he's a worse son. And for that, we sincerely apologize. If it is any consolation, he has brought laughter and smiles to the faces of many a scrub. Hope you had a good day, even though you were alone. sincerely, twitch chat

Monop, I doubt I'll be here for the end of this since I work early tomorrow, but I do want you to know that I"ve been rooting for you. Maybe next time you can shave about six hours off this whole time, eh?

Halo 4 is the single greatest form of media entertainment this generation has ever seen. It has inspired men to do great things, while enhancing the scientific and religious realms of our known universe.

10 years since monopoli sleep. i walk through the empty streams trying to watch someone else but my path always leads to the monopoli. i stare at the screen for hours and try to find the reason. i watch other asian girls streaming but it is no good. the end is near.i then usually watch some old vods and cry myself to sleep.

Monopoli, we the twitch chat would like to formally request the release of Slynkipede. Slynkipede is just a young centipede doing his centipede business before going home to his centipede family. Slynkipede has so much left to live for. We request you put slynkipede back into the wilderness where he belongs. Thank you, Twitch chat.

lol honestly? I'm not watching you stream because you're a good streamer, you have minimal quality streaming gear, and use WSplit? Like get some better programs. Don't call me a kid, you have the lightest voice of anybody I've ever met. Like please. I'm watching you stream because I like Halo. Halo in general, 1/2/3. Don't feel so special there boy. There's more hype in ONE game of Halo 3 MLG 50 high than your entire speedrun, and you keep acting all hype. Like it's one fucking speedrun of a game ON EASY. ON FUCKING EASY NOT EVEN LEGENDARY PLS SIT. If you'd like any enemies, you can have one. I can happily amass the time to gather information about you and hold you offline. At any time I choose until you'd get a new ISP. Take care.

C'mon monopoli, I know you can do it, I watched your speed runs on YouTube, your a legend, plus halo 2 is the best and most legendary halo of all time, my brothers and dad said I played halo since I was a baby, because when I was born, my dad bought halo with the original Xbox instead of a dress. I still play halo, unfortunately I can't get the remakes of 1 to 4 and halo 5 guardians on Xbox One. :(

I don't care if you can me for this because I'm not coming back anyways after being timed out for defending my self but you are one stupid son of a bitch hipfire.... there... you can ban me now...

★ ° ☾ ☆ ★　 :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　.　　¸ .　　 ° 　¸. * ● ¸ .　...somewhere　　　° ☾ ° 　¸. ● ¸ *　:.　.　¸ . ● ★　　★☾　. ● ¸ .　　　★　° .　 •　　　　　*　.　 ☾ °　　*　.　 ☾ ° 　¸. ...in a parallel universe* ● ¸ 　　　　° ☾ °☆　★ ° . .　　　　.　☾ °☆ 　. * ● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ °★　 .　*　.　.　　¸. * ● ¸ .　...Mr Monopoli　° ☾　★ °● ¸ .　　　★　° :.　 . • ○ ° ★　 .　 *　.　　　　　¸.●　　° ☾ ★ *　:.　.　¸ . ● ¸ 　 * ...isn't the best Halo Speedrunner :( ★ ° ☾

Another ones of these? I'm sorry but guys these Halo record postings are starting to get a little excessive, almost to the point of the Goldeneye spam. Look, I get your games are still really unoptimized and there are going to be a ton of new WRs in them week by week, but other people want a chance to get on the frontpage as well. Just because the /r/speedrun crowd loves Halo and CoD type games doesn't mean people like the OP should abuse that for sweet reddit karma, especially when the speedrun of the game is pretty meh compared to more optimized games such as Banjo Kazooie or Shovel Knight. Sadly this sub is slowly becoming all about personality runners and meme speedruns like Halo and no one is going to do anything about it.

This is not speed run. it's like use cheating: you are use holes in textures, etc. you cross half game over the air. this? is not honestly, I think. IMHO - this is not rightly - to go like it. It is immitating of complete of the game. Sure - you make global and cosmical work. You are exxellent spec. But it is not speed run...And the end is sux. And one of you has problem - hi is looking for the asses. For Doggy-doggy ass too. how old him? 11? 12?But it was looking perfect. Not game - speed!

guys dont be mean to rudy, he's like in the make a wish foundation. He knows he isnt good at speedrunning but his biggest dream was to speedrun with his idol, mrmonopoli. You sick fucks are just bashing him, and saying he sucks at running and making jokes about him dying. See, even monopoli just said he's dying. Im actually starting to tear up at how sad this is.

 ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ 343