The slightly rushed FCAR Grand Prix of New Periopolis

(18:34:50) ChatBot: (Commentator) logs into the Chat.
(18:34:51) (Spot): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=​3KZqIkb_OFA
(18:35:01) (Commentator): u fecking wot m8 i swware on me mum im not doing another bluddy race till I get pai- Oh, hello!
(18:35:04) sahdee: Yay!
(18:35:09) (Commentator): It's me, Mr. Commentator
(18:35:22) (Spot): woo!
(18:35:27) (Commentator): presenting the finale of the Grand FCAR Trans-Chroma Extravanganza Extreme Fun Race Thing!
(18:36:03) (ProphetOfPain): Woo
(18:36:13) sahdee: :hyper:
(18:36:20) (Spot): :carlton:
(18:36:35) (ProphetOfPain): bye lolz all your radio stations are mine now.
(18:36:43) (Commentator): so, without further ado, let's welcome the brand new FCAR contestant, ITkingwotever with his brand new car, the Plebmo- I mean, Red Leader!
(18:37:00) (Commentator): well, that was welcoming
(18:37:04) (Commentator): let's get on with it
(18:37:06) (Commentator): ugh
(18:37:24) (Commentator): Right, so, here's the grid for this race:
(18:37:44) (Commentator): The dodgy Yeti Mobile starts on pole after a brilliant performance last race
(18:38:06) ChatBot: Remnance has been logged out (Timeout).
(18:38:07) (Commentator): then it's Dusty in the Dustbuggy!
(18:38:23) (Commentator): followed by...
(18:38:31) (Commentator) collapses
(18:38:34) Lolzrfunni: :|
(18:38:43) Lolzrfunni kicks commentator
(18:38:53) (Commentator): blargh
(18:39:03) Lolzrfunni: can't get the people these days
(18:39:12) sahdee: He is half you
(18:39:24) Lolzrfunni: he's also half-Mumpet
(18:39:30) Lolzrfunni: that's probably where I went wrong
(18:39:41) sahdee: I won't ask how
(18:40:03) (Commentator): I'M A PLEB! DBCRUMPETS! THE PLEBBIEST PLEB IN TOWN! THAT'S ME!
(18:40:03) (Spot): :sleep:
(18:40:09) Lolzrfunni: Thank you.
(18:40:13) Lolzrfunni kicks commentator again
(18:40:22) (Commentator): oh, the grid
(18:40:35) (Nurse_Rock): [](/happynurse) I will destroy you all
(18:40:39) (Commentator): following dusty are Cdos and Sahdee!
(18:40:47) sahdee: :banhammer:
(18:40:56) sahdee: I have tentacles on my side
(18:41:01) (Commentator): then it's CTR, Geeker in the Tea Trolley, Rebound and Redis!
(18:41:05) Lolzrfunni: Go tea trolley!
(18:41:29) (Commentator): they're followed by Infaymoose, Lolz and Redis
(18:42:20) (Commentator) collapses again
(18:42:46) Lolzrfunni injects muffins into (Commentator)
(18:42:55) (Commentator): blajfewbwgrea
(18:43:09) ChatBot: (ProphetOfPain) has been logged out (Timeout).
(18:43:11) (Commentator): Redis'?
(18:43:14) (Commentator): I meant Rem...
(18:43:16) (Commentator): ugh..
(18:43:25) (Commentator): that party was not a good idea
(18:43:26) sahdee pours heresy on the (Commentator)
(18:43:30) (Commentator): umm
(18:43:31) (Commentator): okay
(18:43:34) (Commentator): let's try this again
(18:43:37) ChatBot: (Commentator) logs out of the Chat.
(18:43:44) Lolzrfunni: :|
(18:43:52) ChatBot: (Commentator) logs into the Chat.
(18:43:55) sahdee: You need a new one of those
(18:44:10) (Commentator): Blah blah welcome blah blah grid blah blah blah
(18:44:43) (Commentator): Following Moosey and Lolz are Rem, Tele, that one bloke who showed up, designed a car, and never came back, and Elimi in GMP-mobile!
(18:45:02) (Nurse_Rock): I remember him.
(18:45:11) (Commentator): then, it's the Horsey, Tow's Tow Truck, Allstarr's muffin mobile, Fro, and Poly!
(18:45:28) (Commentator): Poly's cheeky tactics hadn't worked out for him last race- but will he redeem himself?
(18:46:19) (Commentator): and finally, on the last few rows of the grid, are Luuk, TJ, and Agent Steelhooves. Will they manage to improve upon their poor performances last week?
(18:46:29) (Commentator): Well, all questions will be answered!
(18:46:43) (Commentator): It's the final leg of the FCAR Trans Chroma Extravaganza!
(18:46:47) (Spot): where am i?
(18:46:55) (Commentator): oh, and then there's Spotty
(18:47:01) (Commentator): he starts from the pit lane
(18:47:03) (Spot): Me ---> :yay::notworthy:
(18:47:04) (Commentator) pats spot
(18:47:22) (Commentator): anyway, today we shall race through New Periopolis!
(18:47:43) (Commentator): where three trophies await the podium-goers
(18:47:49) sahdee: :O
(18:47:50) (Commentator): and a cup of coffee await all the rest
(18:48:01) (Spot): :coffee:
(18:48:02) sahdee: And now I'm conflicted
(18:48:13) (Spot): for real
(18:48:28) (Commentator): And, just to make it more exciting, FCAR organisers have made the stupidest circuit ever!
(18:49:07) (Commentator): first, we race through the NP Expressway, before making a detour into the Good Tyme Olde Tyme Crazy Crap Store New Periopolis HQ's offices!
(18:49:35) (Commentator): Following that, we head through the NP Potato Market!
(18:49:46) (Commentator): Then, past the anti-tank mine shop
(18:49:52) (Commentator): through the Petrol Station
(18:49:58) (Commentator): above the zoo
(18:50:13) (Commentator): below the Big Pointless Fish Statue
(18:50:38) (Commentator): over a nail shop
(18:50:55) (Commentator): and finally ending up in the centre of the brand-new downtown zone!
(18:50:57) (Commentator): Wow!
(18:51:01) (Spot): :banhammer: me, ready to hammer some nails
(18:51:06) (Commentator): so, are you all ready?
(18:51:10) Lolzrfunni: No.
(18:51:15) (Spot): :beer:
(18:51:16) (Commentator): yes you are
(18:51:17) (Spot): yeh
(18:51:38) (Commentator): ahem
(18:51:42) (Commentator): ARE YOU TWATS READY
(18:51:53) sahdee: :hyper:
(18:51:53) (Nurse_Rock): Your Mom is ready
(18:52:01) (Commentator): now that's just mean
(18:52:13) (Commentator): but anyway
(18:52:19) (Commentator): the engines are revving
(18:52:23) (Commentator): the lights are on!
(18:52:26) (Commentator): Now they're off!
(18:52:29) (Spot): VROOOMMMM :sonic:
(18:52:30) (Commentator): And the race has started!
(18:53:20) (Commentator): It's a brilliant start by Elimi, as sahdee and Cdos start to drop back!
(18:53:33) sahdee: Hey!
(18:53:37) (Commentator): Sahdee's already throwing things!
(18:53:46) sahdee: That's better
(18:53:51) (Commentator): she's attacking CTR with pens!
(18:54:11) (Commentator): as the race makes it's first turn into the GTOTCCS offices!
(18:54:15) (Commentator): oh no!
(18:54:35) (Commentator): That orangered bloke who never came back has crashed!
(18:54:46) (Commentator): it's the most boring accident ever!
(18:54:57) (Commentator): he slightly rumbles over some beanbags!
(18:55:03) (Commentator): and pokes someone getting coffee!
(18:55:19) (Commentator): but, there are more interesting things to do!
(18:55:24) sahdee: Crazy Crap Store sells coffee?!
(18:55:33) (Spot): mm
(18:55:38) Lolzrfunni: ehh probably
(18:55:46) (Spot): coffee
(18:56:25) (Commentator): As they smash through the other side of the store, leaving ripped-up carpet in their wake, the racers head for the Potato Market!
(18:56:43) (Commentator): And Luu instantly smashes a potato cart!
(18:56:45) (Commentator): So does sahdee!
(18:56:47) (Commentator): and cdos!
(18:56:51) (Commentator): oh the humanity!
(18:56:57) (Commentator): there are potatoes everyhwere!
(18:56:59) (Commentator): it's chaos
(18:57:05) (Commentator): no one knows where the exit is!
(18:57:16) (Commentator): they're just driving around in loops!
(18:57:22) (Commentator): crushing stallsQ!
(18:57:31) (Commentator): Who thought this would ever be a good idea?
(18:57:46) (Commentator): Disaster! The Horsey has stopped to eat potatoes!
(18:58:05) (Commentator): AND REBOUND HITS THE HORSEY!
(18:58:12) (Commentator): :O has the horsey been hurt?
(18:58:17) Lolzrfunni: :cry:
(18:58:19) sahdee winces
(18:58:20) (Commentator): No!
(18:58:30) (Commentator): But Rebound's car has been utterly demolished!
(18:58:39) (Spot): Those poor potatoes :cry:
(18:58:42) (Commentator): as the horsey has decided it's time for a nap
(18:58:45) sahdee looks disappointed
(18:58:57) (Commentator): The pack has been completely reshuffled as they finally find the exit!
(18:59:10) (Nurse_Rock) vroom vrooms
(18:59:17) (Commentator): then, it's a quick dash across the road, into the next section of the course: The Anti-Tank Mine Emporium!
(18:59:25) (Spot): FUN
(18:59:37) (Commentator): Elimi is now in 5th- And Poly has latched onto the back of the GMP mobile!
(18:59:41) (Spot): 8) puts on safety goggles
(18:59:49) (Commentator): Sahdee is in first, with Rem behind her
(18:59:55) sahdee: YES!
(19:00:06) (Commentator): CTR and Geeker are following closely!
(19:00:33) (Commentator): As the rest of the field exit the potato market, Nurse Rock and Fro are the last cars out!
(19:00:54) (Commentator): oh my! An explosion!
(19:01:01) (Commentator): :O REM HAS HIT A MINE!
(19:01:07) (Commentator): his car has been destroyed!
(19:01:20) (Commentator): but all the other racers are immune! The mines only affect tanks!
(19:01:25) (Commentator): wow!
(19:01:28) (Commentator): What a twist!
(19:01:43) (Commentator): well, at least he wanted explosions...
(19:01:57) sahdee: Thank the Light we have a trained nurse among us
(19:02:03) (Commentator): Anyway, the racers head into the zoo! v
(19:02:06) sahdee: Go save Rem!
(19:02:13) (Commentator): oh my!
(19:02:23) (Commentator): The Yeti-mobile has been scooped up!
(19:02:40) (Commentator): And it's driver has been put into one of the ages for the Abominable Snowman exhibit!
(19:02:50) (Commentator): or the cages
(19:02:53) (Commentator): or the blages
(19:02:59) (Commentator): I don't know anymore....
(19:03:16) (Commentator): Elsewhere, Fro has completely abandoned the concept of racing!
(19:03:23) (Commentator): He's in the petting zoo instead!
(19:03:30) (Commentator): Wow!
(19:03:51) sahdee: :O
(19:03:54) (Commentator): into the Big Pointless Fish Statue they go!
(19:04:05) (Commentator): Agent Steelhooves is challenging for 3rd!
(19:04:17) (Commentator): but Sahdee is fighting him off!
(19:04:35) (Commentator): And he spins out! HE HITS THE FISH STATUE!
(19:04:40) (Commentator): Oh My!
(19:05:05) (Spot): Woah
(19:05:09) (Commentator): And now his van is spilling out pallets of bribe money!
(19:05:18) (Spot): :jawdrop:
(19:05:25) sahdee: That's government property
(19:05:41) (Commentator): And the bribe money is spilling out more bribe money!
(19:05:48) (Commentator): my god!
(19:05:55) (Spot): bribeception
(19:06:53) (Commentator): Infamous is making a dash for third against sahdee as they head into the nail shop! And so are Zwoosh and Luu!
(19:07:09) (Commentator): But sahdee is thinking quickly! She's throwing cups of coffee into the boxes of nails!
(19:07:14) (Commentator): The nail-boxes shatter!
(19:07:19) (Commentator): millions of nails are spilled!
(19:07:34) sahdee: :hyper:
(19:07:36) (Commentator): Moosey, Zwoosh and Luu all have their tyres burst!
(19:07:37) (Spot): 8o
(19:07:48) (Commentator): They're spinning all over the place!
(19:07:55) (Commentator): and Elim snatches first place!
(19:08:02) (Commentator): With poly cheekily hanging on behind!
(19:08:22) (Commentator): And into the final stretch!
(19:08:45) (Commentator): Sahdee, Elim, Geeker, Lolz, Poly and CTR are all in with a chance of winning!
(19:08:45) sahdee: Aww
(19:08:52) sahdee: :O
(19:08:57) (Commentator): And.... ELIM TAKES FIRST!
(19:08:58) (Nurse_Rock): No wonder our funding has dried up...
(19:09:02) (Commentator): POLY BEHIND HIM!
(19:09:04) (Commentator): THEN IT'S SAHDEE
(19:09:14) (Commentator): FOLLOWED BY CTR! GEEKER, AND LOLZ!
(19:09:15) sahdee: :confetti:
(19:09:30) (Commentator): AND THE RACE IS OVER!
(19:09:35) (Commentator): I'm off!
(19:09:37) ChatBot: (Commentator) logs out of the Chat