Some people have a knack for finding strange things. Strange things seem to ALWAYS find Zane Legends.

Zane was a nice, middle class man who would wander around the streets a lot. He enjoyed telling stories to children passing by, and one child in particular was into strange stuff. Something strange found Zane Legends one day, so he told the strange child his story.

Zane told the child, “One day, when I was wandering around looking for spare change, I saw something moving by the gutters. I walked over to it, and it made a cute noise, like the Adipose from that one episode of Doctor Who. It was a weird blob thing, but it wasn’t slimy or gross. It was white and kinda just shuffled to move around.

“It moved over to me and started rubbing up against my leg and made a strange purring  sound. I decided to pet it with my finger, and it seemed to enjoy that. I had to go after a bit though, so I went back home.”

“You just abandoned it like that?” said the child. He would of brought it home with him. He had a knack for finding strange things.

“Well, sort of. It tried to keep up with me, but it was too slow. When I got home, I went to sleep because I was really tired. But something woke me up in the middle of the night. It was the blob thing.”

“It looked hungry so I tried to find it something it would like to eat. I tried giving it lots of things such as bread, cheese, and fish. It refused all of them. Eventually, I found something it liked, and those were eggs. So I fed him some eggs, and ate everything else that I made, but he refused.”

The small child was confused, “How did you know it was a boy?”

“I didn’t for a very long time, but we will get to that later,” said Zane.

“Anyways, I went back to bed, and in the morning the blob thing was waiting for me. It seemed loyal to me at this point, so I decided to give him a name.”

The boy exclaimed, “What did you name him?”

“Bobby the Blob.”

“That’s a weird name,” the child said. He had never heard a name that weird, even for a pet. He has a cat named Billy, but thats too generic to be weird.

“So I called him Bobby the Blob. Whenever I would feed him, I would call him. ‘Bobby the Blob!’ I would say. It took him a while to learn his name, but pretty soon he began to respond to it.”

“How lo-“, the boy managed to say before Zane interrupted.

“Oh sausages! I need to go feed him! Come back tomorrow, to this spot.”

So a day past, and Zane sat under a tree while he waited for the boy to return. When the boy got to him, he started telling him the rest of the story.

“One day,  Bobby started turning blue. I had no idea what was happening, and I tried to help him. For weeks he seemed sick, until one day he farted. He turned white again, but a blue portal appeared above him.”

The boy got extremely excited, “Well, where did it go?”

“Well, I  cautiously walked through the portal and I saw flights upon flights of stairs, surrounding two metal doors. I was absolutely terrified, and slowly walked towards the doors, while my heartbeat got much faster, my breathing became unsteady, and I felt liked I died inside.

“I pushed open one of the doors and saw something that was absolutely amazing - millions of machines all doing the same thing - making the lives of these blob things better. Two scientists walked towards me and said ‘Woah! How did you get here?’

“I hastily answered, ‘this blob thing farted out a portal and I walked through it.’

“The scientists replied to me, ‘Wow, cool! We just learned about this species about 10 years ago, in 3023. We are still learning a lot about them.”

“Wait, 3023? It’s only 2014!”

“Thats the thing. I suddenly realized something, this is some awesome sciencey thing, with time travel and stuff. Well, I began to look around me and saw lots more blobs like the one I found, all enjoying their time and having fun. I learned that these creatures were very intelligent, and were also more amazing than I thought.

“I told the scientists what happened, and how I got here. They said they could help me get home, and also recommended I tell another scientist from my time about this species so they can learn about them in 2014. Then they got me sent home.”

The child asked, “Well, did you tell them about the blob thing?”

“No, I didn’t, because then the government would take it away from me. I had a growing bond with it, and he was like my friend. He was my friend. He still is.”

“Anyways, I need to go get lunch soon. Bye!”

“WAIT!” screamed the boy, “you didn’t tell me how you found out it was a boy.”

Zane replied shortly, “Oh, I don’t know yet. This happened a week ago.”

The child paused, “wait, this story is true?”

Zane just smiled and walked home. And meanwhile, the boy searched to find a pet like his, for 20 years, when he had found what he had been looking for. The best pet ever.