Chapter 46 - 'Reunion with Paul'

第四十七話「パウロとの再会」
Chapter 46 - 'Reunion with Paul'

[Note: Paul and his first conversation partner speak in a kind of slurred, lazy, 'manly' way of casual talk. Dunno how to make it work in English without them sounding ridiculous, so I left it.]


---　パウロ視点　---
---　Paul's Perspective　---


　オレは酒場で飲んでいる。
　もうすぐ夜という事もあり、団員以外の客が増え始めている。
　逆に、団員は減っている。

　そんな中、俺はテーブルの一つに座り、延々と飲み続けていた。
　不機嫌さが漂っているのだろう。
　誰も近づいてこない。

I'm drinking in a bar.

It's almost nighttime as well, so the number of customers who aren't of our group begins to increase.

Conversely, the number of our group members are decreasing.


In the midst of all this, I had been sitting at one of the tables and endlessly drinking.

There's probably an aura of sullenness hanging around me.

Noone will approach me.

「よう、探したぜ？」

　と、思ったら声を掛けられた。
　顔を上げると、サル顔の男が口の端をあげている。
　この顔を見るのは一年ぶりだ。

"Yo, I've been looking for you, yanno?"

Just as I was thinking that, a had voice called out to me.

Raising my head, I found that a monkey-faced man was smiling at me.

It's been a year since I've seen this face.

「ギース……てめえ……どこ行ってやがった」
「おうおう、なんだなんだ、相変わらず不機嫌そうだな」
「当たり前だ」

　チッと、舌打ちして、頬を触る。
　まだ痛みが残っている。
　ルーデウスに殴られた所だ。
　見栄を張ったが、治癒術師にヒーリングを掛けてもらったほうがよかったかもしれない。

　クソッ、ルーデウスめ。
　何が「魔大陸とかいって、僕の魔術に掛かれば余裕でしたよ」だ。
　そんだけ余裕なら、人探しぐらい出来るだろうが。
　それどころか、大王陸亀の喰い方について延々と語りやがって。
　何が「もし土魔術で土鍋を作ることを思いつかなければ、一年もあの糞不味い焼肉を食い続けうることになりましたよ」だ。
　食材なんか探す暇があったら、別の事が出来ただろうが。
　くそ。
　挙句、オレが浮気してるだと？
　ふざけやがって。
　転移してこの方、女の事なんざ一切考えたことなんてねえ。
　自分が何もしなかったことを棚に上げてオレの事を責めるたぁ。
　ふざけやがって。
　何が知らなかっただ。
　お前がきちんと魔大陸を調べてりゃ、
　今頃ゼニスかリーリャのどっちかとは再会できたかもしれねえってのによ。
　ふざけやがって。

"Guiss... You bastard... where the fuck have you been?"

"Hey, hey. What, what? You're as sullen as usual, huh?"

"Course I am."

I click my tongue and touch my cheek.

There's still some pain remaining.

It's where I'd been hit by Rudeus.

Though I had been acting tough, it might have been better had I gotten it treated with Healing.


Shit, that Rudeus.

What the hell is "Speaking of the Magic Continent, as long as I used magic it wasn't a big deal."?

If it wasn't that big a deal, then you should've been able to search for people at least.

Far from it, you did nothing but endlessly speak about how to prepare Great Tortoise meat.

What the hell is "Had I not thought of making pots with earth magic, I might have continued eating that shitty tasting roast meat for a whole year."?

If you had time to search for ingredients, then you should've bene able to do something else.

Shit.

And to top it off, saying that I'd been cheating?

To fuck around like that.

What do you mean "I didn't know anything"?

Had you properly searched the Magic Continent, I might have been able to reunite with Zenis or Lilia around this time.

To fuck around like that.

「ヘヘッ、その様子じゃあ、まだ会ってねえみてえだな」

　ギースは何が嬉しいのか。
　ヘラヘラと笑いながら、何かを注文していた。
　どうせ酒だろう。
　この男は炭鉱族(ドワーフ)のタルハンド以上に酒好きだった。

"Heheh, it looks like you haven't met with that son of your yet."

Guiss looks happy about something.

With a flippant smile, he had ordered something.

It's probably alcohol any rate.

This man drank more than Talhand the dwarf.

「パウロ。おまえよ、明日冒険者ギルドに顔だせよ」
「なんでだよ」
「面白ぇ人物と会えるぜ」

　面白い人物。
　オレの不機嫌が直る相手。
　ギースが今日顔を出した理由。
　そして、今日出会った人物。
　三つを照らしあわせると、おのずと答えは出た。

"Paul. Show your face at the adventurer's guild, tomorrow."

"Why?"

"You'll be able to meet an interesting person, yanno."

An interesting person.

A person who'll fix up my sulleness.

The reason Guiss showed his face today.

And the person I met by chance today.

I considered the three, and naturally came to an answer.

「ルディか？」

　聞くと、サル顔は口を尖らせ、ポリポリと頭を掻いた。

"Is it Rudy?"

When I asked this, his monkey-face pouted, and scratched his face.

「なんでぇ、知ってたのか？」
「会ったんだよ」
「その割にゃあ、あんまり嬉しそうじゃねえな。
　喧嘩でもしたのか？」

　喧嘩。
　まあ、喧嘩か。
　喧嘩にもなってなかったが……。
　くそっ、思い出したらまた疼いてきやがった。

"Whaat, you already knew?"

"I met him."

"Even considering that, you don't seem that happy, huh? Did you have a fight or something?"

A fight.

Well, a fight huh?

Though it hadn't reached a fight...

Shit, when I recalled it, my cheek started to throb again.

「何があったんだよパウロ、話してみろよ」

　ギースは、その人のよさそうな顔で、椅子をオレの隣に移動させてきた。
　こいつは昔から、他人の悩みを聞くのが上手な奴だった。
　今回も、おせっかいを焼いてわざわざ聞いてくれるらしい。

"What happened, Paul? Trying telling me."

With that agreeable expression, Guiss moved to the chair next to mine.

Since the old days, this guy was good at listening to others' problems.

It seems this time as well he's going out of his way to meddle, and is asking me about it.

「ああ、聞いてくれよ……」

　と、オレは先程あったことをギースに話した。

　出会えて嬉しかった事。
　けれども、何か話が噛み合わず、ルーデウスに今までどうしていたのか聞いたこと。
　すると、ルーデウスがあまりにも楽しそうに旅の話をし始めたこと。
　くだらない自慢話を延々と聞かされたこと。
　そんな自慢より、もっと別の事ができただろうと指摘したこと。
　逆ギレされたこと。
　女のことを指摘されてカチンときたこと。
　喧嘩してボロ負けしたこと。

　ギースは、各所で相槌を打ちながら、うんうんと頷き、
　あー、と同意してくれたり、
　なるほどなあ、と納得してくれたり。
　そんな感じで聞いていたが、最後に言った。

"Yeah, listen to this..."

And so I told Guiss about what had happened earlier.

About how I was glad to meet him.

About how, somehow our conversation didn't mesh well, and I had asked Rudeus what he'd been doing until now.

About how when I did, Rudeus much too happily started talking about his journey.

About how I was made to listen to stupid bragging without end.

About how instead, he was the one who got angry at me.

About how I became irritated when he brought up my issues with women.

About how when we fought, I completely lost.


As I told the story, Guiss nodded along appropriately, saying "right, right", and agreeing "ahhh, I see", and showing that he was listening. Like that he continued to listen, and at the end he spoke.

「お前さ、息子に期待しすぎじゃねえのか？」

「…………あ？」

　オレは自分でもマヌケな声を上げたと認識していた。
　期待しすぎた？
　なにを？
　誰に？

"Hey, Paul. Aren't you expecting too much out of your son?"

"...Huh?"

Even I realised that I had made a stupid sound.

Expecting too much?

About what?

Of whom?

「オレが？　ルディをか？」
「だってよ、よおっく、考えて見ろよ」

　戸惑うオレに、ギースはたたみかけるように言葉をつなげる。

"Me? Of Rudeus?"

"Because, yanno, try thinking about it a bit more."

I was bewildered.

Guiss continued his words, as if to press me for an answer.

「あいつは確かにすげえよ。無詠唱で魔術を使うヤツなんざ見たことがねえ。
　何十匹という魔物を一人で退治したって聞いた時にゃ、そりゃ背筋が震えたさ。
　ルーデウスは、それこそ、百年に一人の天才ってヤツなんだろうよ」

　そうだ。ルディは天才だ。
　天才なのだ。
　本当の天才だ。
　小さい頃からなんだって出来る奴だった。
　一時期はわりとダメな所もあるのかと思ったが、
　あのフィリップが娘をやってもいいとさえ言ったんだ。
　オレの事をあれだけこき下ろしたフィリップが、だ。

"That kid really is amazing. I've never seen another guy who can use magic without chanting. When I heard about how he had suppressed dozens of monsters by himself, shivers ran down my spine. Rudeus is just that rare of a genius, yanno?"

That's right. Rudeus is a genius.

He's a genius.

A real genius.

Since he was small, he'd been able to do anything.

Though there was a period of time when I thought he had done things relatively badly, that Phillip had even said that he'd be fine with giving his daughter to him. That Phillip who had said nothing but bad things about me, had said that.

「おう、そうさ。あいつはスゲぇぜ。なんせ五歳の時には……」
「けど、まだガキだ」

　ぴしゃりと遮られて、オレは黙った。

"Yeah. That's right. He's amazing. Even when he was five..."

"However, he's still a kid."

I'd been bluntly interrupted, and stayed silent.

「ルーデウスは、まだ11歳のガキだ」

　ギースは噛み締めるように、もう一度言った。

"Rudeus is still an 11 year old kid."

As if reflecting on it, Guiss had said it one more time.

「お前だって、家を出たのは12歳の時なんだろ？」
「ああ……」
「12歳未満はガキだって、お前、昔から言ってたもんな？」
「なんだよ、それがどうしたっていうんだよ」

　ルディはもうオレより強いんだぞ。
　確かに今日は酒は飲んでたが、
　それを差し引いたって、アイツは強くなっていた。
　酔っていたとはいえ、オレは本気だったんだ。
　本気で、使いたくもねえ北神流『四足の型』と、剣神流『無音の太刀』まで使ったんだ。
　それなのに、オレの剣はアイツのかぶっていたパンツのヒモを斬っただけだ。
　ルディは全然本気じゃなかった。
　それが証拠に、団員は全員、軽傷で済んでいた。
　手加減抜きで戦って、手加減されて負けたんだ。
　会わなかった間にどれだけ強くなったかはわからねえ。
　ただ、ルディは七歳の時にはもうオレよりずっと賢かった。
　腕っ節がオレ以上に強くて。
　頭もオレ以上にいい。
　なら、オレ以上の事が出来たっておかしくねえだろ。
　歳がなんだってんだ。

"As for you, you had left the house when you were 12, right?"

"Yeah..."

"That someone less than 12 was a kid, in the past you had said this yourself, right?"

"What about it? What are you trying to say about it?"

Rudy is already stronger than I am.

Of course I was drinking today, but even considering that, he's gotten stronger.

Even if you say that I was drunk, I was going at it seriously.

Because I was serious, I even used the North God Style's 『Four-legged Form』※ that I'd never want to, and even went as far as using the Sword God Style's 『Soundless Sword』.

Like that, my sword was focused on doing nothing but cutting down that panty wearing gigolo.

Rudeus hadn't been serious.

As proof of that, everyone in the group had left with nothing more than minor injuries.

I had fought without hold back, and lost to a person who had.

I don't know how strong he's gotten during the period that I hadn't seen him.

However, when he was only 7, he was already much smarter than me.

His physical strength is above mine.

His head is also better than mine.

In that case, it wouldn't be strange for him to be able to do things that I couldn't.

So what about his age?



[※Note: Form, as in martial arts. Kata.]

「パウロ、お前、11歳の頃は何してた？」
「何って……」

　確か、家で剣術を習っていた。
　毎日、毎日、親父に叱られる毎日だった。
　一挙手一投足、全てに文句を言われ、殴られた。

"Paul. When you were 11, what were you doing?"

"'What', you ask?"

If I remember correctly, I was learning swordsmanship at home.

Everyday, everyday, everyday I'd be scolded by my father.

He'd take the easy way out, complaining about everything, and hitting me.

「その頃のお前に、魔大陸で生きていけつって、出来たか？」
「ハッ、ギース、そりゃ前提がおかしいぜ。
　ルディはな、強い魔族に護衛についてもらったんだ。
　人間語も魔神語も、獣神語も出来て、
　Aランクの魔物だって一人で倒しちまうっつー、
　化け物みたいな奴に護衛についてもらったんだ。
　オレじゃなくたって魔大陸縦断ぐらい出来るさ」
「できねえな。お前は出来ねえ、絶対に出来ねえ。もし、今のお前で魔大陸に行っても一人じゃ帰ってこられねえ」

　断言されて、オレは鼻白んだ。
　ギースは相変わらず、ヘラヘラと笑ったままだ。
　こいつの笑みは、相変わらず苛つく。

"At that time, would you have been able to survive on the Magic Continent?"

"Hah, Guiss, there's something wrong with that premise. You know, Rudy was escorted by a strong demon. He could speak the Human Language, the Magic God language, and even the Beast God Language, and could even kill A ranked monsters by himself, all while being guarded by a guy who was monstrously strong. Even if it wasn't me, like that they'd be able to breeze through the Magic Continent."

"You wouldn't. You wouldn't be able to do it, you definitely wouldn't. Even if it was right now, you wouldn't be able to return from the Magic Continent by yourself."

At that declaration, I felt ashamed.

As usual, Guiss was laughing foolishly.

As usual, his smile was irritating.

「ハッ！　じゃあなおさらじゃねえか！　オレにできねえ事をやった。天才だ。ルディは天才だ！　オレの息子は天才だ。もう立派に一人前だ。オレが何を言うこともねえ。能力のある奴に、能力に見合った仕事を期待するのは、間違っているか？　ええギース、オレは間違っているか？」
「間違ってるね。お前はいつだって間違ってる」

　ギースはヘラヘラと笑いながら、運ばれてきたビールを一気に飲んだ。

"Hah! Then isn't this all the more so? He did something that I couldn't. He's a genius. Rudy is a genius! My son is a genius! He's already a fine young man. I have nothing left to say. He's capable, so I expected something capable out of him. Am I wrong? Hey, Guiss. Am I wrong?"

"You're wrong. You're always wrong."

While laughing foolishly, Guiss drank the beer he was holding in one gulp.

「ぷはっ、うめえ。やっぱ大森林じゃこういうのは飲めねえからな」
「ギース！」
「わかってるよ、うるせえな」

　ギースはドンと木のコップを置く。
　そして、急に真面目な話になった。

"Puah! Delicious. You really can't get beer as good as this in the Great Forest."

"Guiss!"

"I know, I know. You're so noisy."

Guiss placed his cup down with a bang.

Then suddenly, he started speaking seriously.

「パウロ。お前、魔大陸には行ったことねえんだろ？」
「……それがどうした」

　オレは魔大陸に行ったことはない。
　そりゃ、もちろん、人から聞いたことはある。
　危険な土地だって噂だ。
　道を歩けば魔物が出て、魔物を食わなきゃ生きていけない。
　だが、魔物が多いぐらいなら、どうにでもなる。

"Paul. You've never been to the Magic Continent, right?"

"...And what about it?"

I've never been to the Magic Continent.

That's obvious, because I've heard about it from others.

It's said to be a dangerous land.

Just walking along the roads is enough to encounter monsters, and you can't live without eating monsters.

However, there are a lot of monsters, so the rest is up to you.

「知っての通り、俺は魔大陸の出身だ。
　で、その俺に言わせりゃあ、魔大陸ってのはヤバイ」
「そういや、お前からそんな話を聞いたことはなかったな。どうヤベぇんだ？」
「まず、街道がねえ。道はあるが、
　ミリス大陸や中央大陸で言われてるような、
　魔物の数が少ない安全な道ってのは存在しねえ。
　どこを歩いていても、Cランク以上の魔物が襲い掛かってくる」

　確かに魔物は多いと聞いていたが、Cランク？
　中央大陸じゃ、森の奥にしか出てこないような相手だ。
　群れるか、特殊な能力を持っている奴が多い。

"As you know, I came from the Magic Continent. And so, even if I say so myself, the Magic Continent is terrible."

"I've never heard that from you. What's so bad about it?"

"First, there are no highways. There are roads, but nothing like the roads on the Miris continent or the Central Continent where there are few monsters and you can travel safely. Wherever you go, you'll be attacked by monsters C rank or up."

I've certainly heard that there are lots of monsters, but C rank?

On the Central Continent, they're enemies that you won't encounter except in the depths of the forests.

Most of them will swarm you, or have some kind of special ability.

「そりゃいくらなんでもフカしすぎだろ？」
「いや、本当の事だ。俺は今、一切嘘を言ってねえ。
　魔大陸ってのはそういう大陸だ。とにかく、魔物が多いんだ」

　ギースの目は本気だった。
　だが、この男はこういう目をしながら、案外簡単に嘘をつく。
　騙されるものか。

"Whatever the case, aren't you exaggerating a bit much?"

"No, it's the truth. Right now I'm not telling a single lie. The Magic Continent is that kind of place. Anyway, there's just a lot of monsters."

Guiss' eyes are serious.

However, this man can make an expression like that and still easily tell eyes.

Like he'll fool me.

「そんな大陸で、優秀とはいえ実戦経験の無い子供が放り出される」
「……おう」

　実戦経験が無いってのは、ルディの事か。
　いわれてみりゃあ、あいつが誰かと戦ったって話は聞いたことがねえ。
　ただ、人攫いはうまい事撃退したって聞いたし、
　距離さえ開ければギレーヌでも勝てないかもしれないって話は聞いた。
　オレはギレーヌ以上の剣士を知らない。
　アイツが近づけないってんなら、適切な距離を置いたルディに勝てる奴は世界で1000人もいない。
　だから実戦経験が無いなんてのは、関係ない話だ。
　かの北神二世、アレックス＝R＝カールマンだって、
　実戦経験無し、初めての実戦で剣帝を斬り殺したって話だ。

"Although he's outstanding, a child with no real combat experience was thrown into a place like that."

"...Right."

By 'no real combat experience', he means Rudy, huh?

Now that it's mentioned, I've never heard about that guy fighting anyone.

However, I've heard that he did well in repelling the kidnappers, and that as long as there was a great enough range, even Girenu mightn't have been able to win against him.

I don't know any stronger swordsmen than Girenu.

Assuming that he didn't near the enemy, then the number of people in this world who could beat him at a range wouldn't even reach 1000.

That's why even if he hadn't had real combat experience, it doesn't matter.

There was even a guy who without combat experience, killed a sword emperor in his first battle.

「で、そこに助けてくれるって大人が現れる。魔族、それも強いヤツだ。スペルド族。知ってるよな。あのスペルド族だ」
「ああ」

　スペルド族。
　その事に関しては、正直、半信半疑だ。
　魔大陸にだってスペルド族はもうほとんど残っちゃいねえって話だしな。

"Also, an adult who was willing to help them appeared. A Magic Person, and a strong one too. A Supeld. You know them, right? It's that Supeld clan."

"Yeah."

The Supeld clan.

Regarding this part, to be honest, I felt it was pretty dubious.

After all, I hear that even on the Magic Continent there basically aren't any Supeld left.

「右も左もわからない状態で手を差し伸べてくれる存在。
　弱っている所を助けてくれる存在。
　けど、スペルド族は怖い。
　なにせ断りゃあ何されるかわかんねえしな。
　そりゃ、その手を握っちまうだろう」
「……まあ、そうだろうな」
「で、助けてもらっているうちに、賢いルーデウスはこう思うわけだ。
　こいつの狙いは一体なんなんだ、ってな」

　確かに。
　ルーデウスなら、思うだろう。
　オレじゃあ気付かないが、そういうことには敏い奴だ。
　かつて、リーリャを助けた時も、
　子供とは思えないような敏さを見せた。

"In a situation where he didn't know left from right, they were someone who extended a helping hand. Someone who helped him while he were in trouble. However, the Supeld are scary. Anyhow, who knows what could've happened had he rejected their help. In that case, he'd grasp that hand, right?"

"...Well, that might be true, huh?"

"And while he was being helped, since Rudeus is smart, he'd have thought 'Just what is this guy's goal?'."

Certainly.

Since it's Rudeus, he'd have thought that.

I wouldn't have noticed, but he's someonee who's sharp when it comes to these things.

In the past as well, the time that he had saved Lilia, he had shown that he considered things that normal children wouldn't.

「でも、相手の目的なんざわかるわきゃねえ」

　だろうな。
　相手の狙いがわからないから、ギースみたいなヤツが生きていける。

"But there's no way he'd be able to understand what they were thinking."

That's true.

Because he didn't know what their aim was, someone like Guiss was able to live.

「今は助けてもらっているが、
　いずれは切り捨てられるかもしれない。
　と、そこでルーデウスは考える。
　切り捨てられないように恩を売ろう、とな」
「なんだそりゃ？　恩？　うまくいくのか？」
「茶化すなよ。恩って言い方があれなら、情に訴えるとか、
　仲間意識を芽生えさせるとか、そんな感じでいい」

　仲間意識を芽生えさせるか。
　なるほどな。
　そうすると、ルディの行動も頷ける。

　守ってくれるという魔族にゴマすって、
　いざという時のために自分の腕も磨いておく。
　合理的だ。
　ルーデウスは、最も安全な道を選んでいると言える。
　ふん、さすがだな、やるじゃないか。

"'Though they're helping me now, they might cut me down one day', Rudeus would have thought. 'I'll make them feel grateful towards me, so that I won't be abandoned.' he'd have thought, right?"

"The heck is that? Gratitude? And how did it work out?"

"Don't make fun of it. If you don't like the word 'gratitude', then you can say 'appealing to them', or 'creating a sense of companionship'. That kind of thing."

Creating a sense of companionship, huh?

I see.

If he did that, then I can understand Rudy's actions.


Sucking up to the Magic Person who protects him, and improving his own skill for when push comes to shove.

It's logical.

You can say that Rudeus chose the safest path.

Hm, as expected of him. He can do it if he tries, can't he?

「チッ、それだけ考えられるのに、なんでそれ以上の事ができねえんだ」

　ポツリと漏らすと、ギースは指を広げた。
　それを一つずつ折っておく。

"Tsk, if he was only thinking about that, why couldn't he do anything else then?

When I leaked a sigh, Guiss spread his fingers.

He began to count off with his fingers.

[※Note: ]

「初めての土地、初めての冒険、
　いくら賢いったって、知らねえことばかりだ。
　騙されないために、自分も学んでいかなきゃならねえ。
　その上で、いつ裏切るかわからねえ魔族相手に気を配り、
　すぐ後ろには守らなきゃいけない妹分……」

　ギースは淡々とした口調でいいつつ、指を全て折った、
　そして、最後にこう、締めくくった。

"The first time he's stepped on new lands; the first adventure he's been on; no matter how smart you say he is, his situation was filled with unknowns. So that he wouldn't be tricked by anyone, he had to study as well. On top of that, he had to pay attention to this Magic Person who could betray him at any time, as well as protect the girl he saw as his little sister..."

Guiss spoke in an indifferent tone while counting with his fingers, and when all of them were down, he finished with this;

「これで転移した別の奴らまで探し出したってんなら、
　そりゃ超人だぜ、超人。
　"七大列強"に数えられていてもおかしくねえ」

　七大列強か。
　懐かしい名前を聞いたな。
　昔は、オレもそれだけ有名になりたいと思っていたっけか。
　親の贔屓目抜きで見ても、ルディはそれになれる実力はあると思うがな。

"If on top of all that, if he could search for the people missing due to teleportation, he'd be a superhuman, yanno. A superhuman. It wouldn't even be strange to count him among the ranks of the 'Seven Great Powers'."

The Seven Great Powers, huh?

I've sure heard a pretty nostalgic name.

In the past, I had wanted to become as famous as them, huh?

Even ignoring the bias of a parent, I think that Rudi has the ability to do that though.

「明らかにオーバーワークだ。
　ルーデウスがいくら天才といった所で、
　人間にゃ、限界がある」
「限界ギリギリの奴が、なんであんな楽しげに冒険の話を語るんだ？　ありゃ、どう見たって迷宮に遠足気分で入って浅い所で遊んで帰るお貴族様だぜ？」

　ルディが、もし本当にきつかったというのなら、あんな言い方はしないはずだ。
　旅の辛い所、苦しい所。
　そういう所を語るはずだ。
　けど、ルーデウスはそんな所は一切語らなかった。

"He was obviously overworked. No matter how much of a genius you say he is, humans have limits."

"If he was someone worked to his limits, why did he tell the story of his adventure in such a happy way? However you look at it, it was just like a Young Master coming back from his first romp in a dungeon, wasn't it?"※

Had Rudy really had such a harsh time, he wouldn't have spoken in such a manner.

The toughness of his journey; the bitterness of his journey; he would have spoken about things like that.

But Rudeus didn't mention anything like that even once.


[※Note: actually 'okizoku-sama' (esteemed-noble-sama), so no indication that it would be young, but whatever]

「そりゃ、お前を心配させないためだろ」
「…………は？」

　また間抜けな声が出た。

"That was so he wouldn't worry you, right?"

"...Hah?"

Again, I had let out a stupid sound.

「なんでアイツが、オレの心配なんてしてんだ？　ダメな親父だからか？」
「そうだ。お前がダメな親父だからだ」
「チッ、そうかよ。そうだろうな、オレはくっだらねえことで酒に逃げちまうような弱い男さ、天才様の目には、さぞ哀れに映ったんだろうな」
「別に天才じゃなくたって、今のお前は哀れに見えるぜ、パウロ」

　ギースはため息をついた。

"Why would he be concerned about me? Because I'm a worthless father?"

"That's right. Because you're a worthless father."

"Tsk, so I'm a useless father, huh? That's right, huh? I'm just a weak man who'll drink to escape from trifling matters, so in the eyes of a genius-sama I certainly must look pathetic."

"Even to someone who isn't a genius, you look pathetic right now, Paul."

Guiss had sighed.

「自分の顔は自分じゃ見れねえだろうから言うけど、お前、今ひっでぇ顔してるぜ？」
「息子に同情されるような顔をか？」
「ああ。今のお前となら、喧嘩別れせずに済みそうだ」

　哀れすぎて何も言えなくなっちまうからな、とギースは付け加えた。
　オレは自分の顔に触れる。
　何日も剃っていないひげがジャリっと音を立てた。

"I'm saying this because you probably don't see it yourself, but right now you look pretty horrible, you know."

"Horrible enough to make my son pity me, you mean?"

"Yeah. If it's with the current you, it would be over even without having to part in a fight."

'It's because you're so pathetic that they couldn't say anything, you know' Guiss adds on.

I touch my face.

The stubble from not shaving these few days made a sound.

「なあパウロ、もう一度言わせてもらうぜ」

　ギースは念を押すように、言った。

"Hey, Paul. Let me say it one more time."

As if to emphasise it, Guiss spoke once more.

「お前は、息子に期待しすぎだ」

　期待して、何がいけないんだと思う。
　ルディは生まれた時からなんでもうまくやった。
　オレは父親面しようとして、それを引っ掻き回しただけだ。
　ルディには、オレは必要なかった。

"You're expecting too much out of your son."

'What's wrong with with holding expectations?' I think.

Rudy has been doing things well since he was born.

I had been trying to act like a father, but that had just messed it up.

To Rudy, I wasn't necessary.

「なあ、パウロよ。なんで素直に再会を喜ばねえんだ？
　いいじゃねえか。ルーデウスがどんな旅してきたって。
　脳天気にのんびり旅してきたって。
　女とイチャコラ旅してたって。
　お互い元気で会えたんだ。まずはそれを喜べよ」
「…………」

　そうだ。
　オレだって、最初は喜んだはずだ。

"Hey, Paul. Why can't you just obediently act happy about your reunion? Wouldn't it be fine? To be happy regardless of what kind of journey Rudy had had. Even if he had been carefree on his journey. Even if he had been messing around with women on his journey. You had both reunited safe and sound. What you should have done first was be happy about that."

"..."

That's right.

I should have been happy first.

「それとも、体のどっかを失って、目もうつろな息子に会いたかったのか？
　死体になって再会って可能性も大いにあったんだぜ？
　いや、魔大陸なら死体も残らねえな」

　ルディが、死ぬ？
　あの元気なルディを見た後では、現実味のない話だ。
　だが、ほんの数日前。
　オレはその想像をして、陰鬱としていたのではなかったのか？

"Or had you wanted to meet with a son who had a limb missing, or an eye missing? There was a good chance you'd have seen him again as a corpse, you know? No, since it was the Magic Continent, even a corpse wouldn't have remained."

Rudy, die?

After seeing that energetic Rudy, it isn't something that sits well with reality.

But, just a few days earlier...

Had I not become gloomy because I had imagined that?

「あーあー、かわいそうになー。
　すっげぇ苦労して旅してきて。
　せぇっかく父親と再会したってのに。
　その父親は酒浸りのクズなんだもんな。
　こりゃ、オレだったら縁を切るな」

　チッ、芝居掛かった口調で喋りやがって。

"Right, right. How pitiful, right? He'd arrived here after a journey full of hardships. Even though after sooo long, he had reunited father, that father was a binge drinking piece of trash. If it were me, I'd have cut off our relations."

Tsk, fucking speaking with such theatrics.

「わかったギース。お前のいうことはもっともだ。けど、一つ、不思議な事がある」
「なんだ？」
「なんでルディは、ブエナ村の情報を知らなかったんだ？
　ザントポートにだって伝言は残したはずだ」

　ギースは、「そりゃあ」と言いかけて、苦い顔をした。
　これは、コイツが何かを隠している時の顔だ。

"I get it, Guiss. What you're saying is quite right. But then there's one thing that's strange."

"What is it?"

"Why didn't Rudeus know about what had happened to Buena? There should have been word about it at Zantport."

Hearing that, Guiss had said "Well that's..." with a bitter expression.

It's the expression that he makes when he's hiding something.

「運悪く、みつけらんなかったって事だろ」
「……ギース、お前はどこでルディを見つけたんだ？
　ザントポートで見つけたんじゃないのか？」

　ギースがこの一年間どこにいたのか、俺にはわからない。
　だが、ルーデウスは北から来た。
　北でギースが活動できるようなでかい町といえば、ザントポートぐらいだ。
　ザントポートには、きちんと伝言が残っている。
　それにあそこには、団員が駐在しているはずだ。
　魔大陸から誰かが渡ってきた時、その人物から情報を得るためだ。
　冒険者なら、冒険者ギルドに寄らない理由はない。

"It's probably because unluckily, he hadn't come across it."

"...Guiss. Just where did you find Rudy? Didn't you find him in Zantport?"

I have no idea where Guiss has been this past year.

However, Rudeus had come from the north.

If it's a large town that Guiss could have been living in, then there's basically only Zantport.

The information was perfectly available in Zanport.

Moreover, there should have been adventurers living there.

They were staying there for the sake of obtaining information when people came over from the Magic Continent.

If you're an adventurer, then there's no reason not to head to the adventurer's guild.

「俺がルーデウスに会ったのは、ドルディア族の村だ。
　ビックリしたぜ、何せ、聖獣に襲いかかったって嫌疑を掛けられて、
　全裸で牢屋に入れられてたんだからな」
「獣族に全裸で牢屋って……マジかよ」

　ギレーヌから聞いた事がある。
　ドルディア族にとって、
　全裸にされる、檻に入れられる、鎖に繋がれる、冷水を掛けられる、
　といった事は、この上ない屈辱なのだ。
　他人に対しては滅多な事ではやらないし、やられたら死ぬまで覚えている。
　冗談でギレーヌに水を掛けた時、本気で睨まれた。

"Where I met Rudeus was the Doldia clan's village. I was really surprised, yanno. Because at any rate, he was under suspicion for attacking the Sacred Beast, and had been thrown in gaol, naked."

"Being thrown in gaol naked by the Beast Race... are you serious?"

It was something I had heard form Girenu.

To the Doldia clan, being stripped naked, confined in a cage, being bound up in chains and then having water splashed on you was the ultimate humiliation. It wasn't something they'd do to others thoughtlessly, and if it was done to them, they'd remember it until they died. When I had splashed water on Girenu as a joke, she had seriously kept an eye on me.

「そ、それで、どうなったんだ？」
「なんだ、ルーデウスから聞いてねえのか？」
「魔大陸を旅したって話しか聞いてねえんだよ」

　そうだ、なんでザントポートで伝言を見なかったのか。
　一番重要な部分は聞いていなかった。
　なんでだ……。
　ああ、オレが聞かなかったんだ。
　ちくしょう。
　なんでオレってやつはいつもこう、短気なんだ。
　落ち着け。
　ルディは優秀だ。
　優秀なのに、情報を得ていなかった。
　その事を、もっと冷静に考えるべきだ。
　ザントポートまで行けば、嫌でも耳に入ったはずなんだ。
　つまり、ザントポートで何らかの事件に巻き込まれたって事だ。
　ドルディア族に捕まるような事件。
　大事件じゃないのか。
　もう二、三日もすれば団員の一人が情報を持って帰ってくるが、
　何か事件が起きたんじゃないのか？

"A-, and then, what happened exactly?"

"Whaaat, you didn't hear from Rudeus?

"I didn't hear anything except for his journey on the Magic Continent."

Right, why hadn't he heard any rumours at Zantport?

I hadn't hear the most important part.

Why...?

Ahh, because I didn't listen.

Damn it.

Why am I always so short-tempered when it comes to him?

Calm down.

Rudy is excellent.

Though he's excellent, he hadn't heard any information.

I should think more calmly about that.

If he had come as far as Zantport, even if it was unpleasant, he should have heard of it.

In other words, at Zantport he had been involved in some sort of incident.

An incident that involved being caught by the Doldia clan.

Isn't that a pretty major incident?

If he had been there for two or three days, one of my group members※ would have returned with information, but could it be that something had happened?




[※Note: it says 'group member', but if that's how Japanese refer to travelling companions, then this line might actually be about Rudy's party members.]

「いや、俺も詳しいことは知らないんだけどよ、
　大森林のミルデット族ん所にいた時にな、
　デドルディアの村に人族のガキが捕まったって噂を耳にしたのよ」
「ん？　ちょっとまて、お前、今、どこにいたって？」

　ミルデット族？
　確か、獣族の一種だったはずだ。
　ウサギみたいな耳を持つ種族だ。

"Well, I hadn't really heard the details either, but while I was staying in the Great Forest at the Mildet clan's place, I had heard rumours about a human kid being caught by the Doldia clan."

"Mn? Hang on, just now, where did you say you were?"

The Mildet clan?

If I'm not wrong, it should be one of the types of Beast Race.

A type that has ears like a rabbit.

「ミルデット族の村だ。族長がいる所だから、結構でかいんだが――」

　ギースの説明は、長く、うっとおしかった。
　正直、途中で「もういい」と言いたくなるような長さだ。
　だが、今日もまた、ルディの話を最後まで聞かず、重要な部分を知らずに終わったばかりだ。
　同じ失敗ばかりしているオレでも、さすがに同じ日に二度も繰り返さねえ。

　話が終わった。
　整理してみると、

"I was at the Mildet clan's village. It was one with the clan chief, so it was pretty big but..."

Guiss' explanation was long and irritating.

Honestly, it was long enough that I had wanted to say "That's enough" in the middle of it.

But today, again, I hadn't listened to Rudy's story until the end, and had stopped listening without hearing the important part.

Even if I'm the type to make the same mistakes endlessly, at the very least I wouldn't make the same mistake twice in the same day.


His story had ended.

When I try sorting it out...

「ギース、つまりお前は、大森林の各種族に、人族の迷い人がいたらミリシオンまで送ってくれって言って回ってたのか？」
「おう。ヘヘッ、感謝してもいいぜ」
「してもしきれねえよ……」

　たまに、大森林の方からオレを頼ってくる難民がいると思ったが、
　そうか、そういうカラクリだったか……。

"Guiss. In other words, you had gone around to various places in the Great Forest saying 'If there are any lost humans here, I'll escort them back to Mirision'?"

"Right. Heheh, it's fine if you wanna thank me."

"Even if I did, it wouldn't be enough."

Sometimes I did get refugees from the Great Forest placed into my care, but, I see. So that's the reason...?

「ま、んな話はいいんだよ」
「……ああ」

　後で詳しく聞かせてもらうが、今は置いておく。

"Well, let's leave that matter as it is."

"...Yeah."

I'll ask him to tell me the details later, but I'll leave it for now.

「人族の子供ってことでピンときた俺は、
　早速ドルディアの村へと移動した。
　自慢じゃねえが、俺は顔が広い。
　ドルディアの村にだって何人も知り合いがいる。
　その知り合いの一人、懇意にしてる戦士の一人に頼んで、
　同じ牢屋に入れてもらうように仕組んでもらったのよ」
「ちょっとまて、なんでお前が入る必要がある？」
「いざとなったら、逃げ出すためよ。
　獣族の牢屋ってのは、外より中からの方が逃げ出しやすいからな」

　ギースの脱獄の腕は俺も知っている。
　イカサマで捕まっても、何気ない顔で出てくる男だ。

"When I had heard about the human kid, I immediately went over to the Doldia village. I'm not boasting, but I'm pretty well known. Even in the Doldia village, I have a number of acquaintances. I had relied on one of those acquaintances, a warrior I'm on good terms with, and had hatched a plan to enter the same cell as the kid."

"Hang on, why did you have to enter as well?"

"It was so that if things came down to it, we could escape. It's easier to unlock Beast Clan prisons from the inside than from the outside, after all."

I know about Guiss' skill in prison breaking as well.

He's a man who even after being caught for fraud, could break out with a nonchalant expression.

「で、な。捕まった人族の子供が、哀れに泣き叫んで絶望してるかと思ったら……ぷくく」
「なんだ、どうなってたんだ？」
「全裸で余裕こいて寝転んで『ようこそ。人生の終着点へ』だぜ？
　もう何を言い返していいのかわかんなかったっつーの！」

　ギースはゲラゲラと笑った。

"And so, the human child was crying and screaming pitifully, in complete despair, or so I had been thinking... pukuku"

"What? What happened?"

"Laying around naked and composed, he said "Welcome, to the last stop in your life." yanno? I didn't know how the heck I was supposed to respond to that!"

Guiss had begun to guffaw.

「笑い事じゃねえだろ」
「笑い事だね。
　俺は一目みてわかったもんよ。
　こいつはパウロの息子だってな」

　それの何が面白いっていうんだ。
　というより、それのどこに俺の息子と断定する部分があるんだ。

"It's not something to laugh about, is it?"

"Nah, it is something to laugh about. With one look, I understood. 'This guy is Paul's son', you know?"

Just what about that is so funny?

More importantly, just what about that had made him conclude that it was my son, anyway?

「昔のお前そっくりだぜ。
　初対面でもふてぶてしい所とか、
　無駄に偉っそうな所とか、
　獣族の女を口説こうとして、
　『発情の臭いがする』なんて見透かされてよ、
　それでも懲りずにエロい目で見てる所とかよ！」

　ギースは何がツボに入ったのか、またゲラゲラと笑った。
　昔の事をほじくられると背筋が痒くなる。

"It was completely like you in the day, yanno? Like how he was completely shameless on our first meeting, or how he was needlessly conceited, or how when he tried to seduce Beast Women they'd see through it with a "I smell the scent of arousal", but he wouldn't learn learn his lesson and continued to look at them with a perverted gaze!"

Guiss had found something extremely funny about that, and again guffawed.

Having my past dug up had sent prickles down my spine.

「ま、確信を持つまでには、もう少し時間かかったけどよ」

　ギースはそう言って、ビールを飲み干した。

"Well, being completely convinced took a bit more time though."

Saying that, Guiss drank up his beer.

「ま、そういう事だからよ。
　あいつが情報を知らねえのは、仕方ねえんだ。
　ザントポートには寄らなかったって話だしな」
「ん？　まてよギース、お前、同じ牢屋に入ってたんだよな、じゃあ」

　こいつが説明すれば。

"Well, it's basically like that. It couldn't be helped that he didn't know about what had happened. It seems he never dropped in at Zantport, after all."

"Hm? Wait, Guiss. You were in the same cell as him, weren't you? Then..."

Had this guy explained, then...

「親子の間でわだかまりはあるかもしれねえが、
　ここは俺っちの顔を立てて、仲直りしといてくれや」

　ギースは早口でそう言って、席を立った。

"You guys might have some bad feelings between each others but, could you help me save face and reconcile with him?"

Guiss had spoke rapidly, and stood up from his seat.

「おい、まてよ、まだ話は終わって……」
「あそうだ。
　言い忘れてたけどな、魔大陸にはエリナリーゼ達が向かったみたいだぜ。
　ザントポートで男を食いまくった長耳族の噂を聞いたから間違いねえ」
「エリナリーゼが？」

　あいつは、一番俺のことを嫌っていると思っていたが……。

"Oi, wait. We haven't finished talking..."

"Ah right. I had forgotten to mention, but it seems that Elinalise and the others were headed to Magic Continent, yanno. Since I'd heard rumours about a man-eating elf at Zantport, there's no mistake."

"Elinalise is?"

I had thought that she was the one who hated me the most, but...

「ヘヘッ、なんだかんだ言って、あいつらもお前の事、そんなには嫌いじゃねえんだよ」

　最後にそう言い残して、ギースは酒場を出て行った。
　もちろん、金は払っていない。
　あいつはそういう奴だ。
　まあ、今日の所はいいだろう。
　奢ってやる。

　これだけ飲んだら、
　俺も今日は寝るとしよう。
　そして、明日にでもルディと話し合うか……。

"Heheh, whatever you say, those guys actually don't hate you that much either, you know."

Leaving just those words behind, Guiss had left the bar.

Of course, he hadn't paid.

He's that sort of guy.

Well, it's fine for today.

It's my treat.


Today I'll just go to sleep having drunk only this much.

Then, tomorrow I'll go talk with Rudy, huh...?

「もう飲むんじゃねえぞ。明日、素面で『夜明けの光亭』にいけ、いいな」

　と、ギースが戻ってきた。

"Don't drink anymore than this. Tomorrow turn up at the 『Light of Dawn Inn』, alright?"

Said Guiss, having come back.

「わぁってるよ！」

　釘を刺されて。
　オレはため息をついて杯を置いた。
　考えてみれば、最近のオレは飲み過ぎていた。
　なんでこんなものに逃げていたんだか。
　やるべきことは、まだまだ残ってるだろうに。

"I got it!"

I had been warned.

With a sigh, I had put down my cup.

When I think about it, I'd been drinking too much lately.

Why have I been running away from something like this?

There are still many, many things I should do.

「あの……パウロ団長、お話、終わりましたか？」

　などと思っていると、一人の女が申し訳なさそうに縮こまっていた。
　誰だと思った。

　酔った頭で彼女の顔をまじまじと見てみる。
　すると、それが団員の一人、ヴェラであるとわかった。

"Um... Paul-tanchou,※ haev you finished your conversation?"

When I wonder who it is, I notice that it was a woman shrinking away apologetically.

I drunkenly take a good look at her.

When I do, I realise that it's a member of my group, Vera.


[※Note: tanchou=group leader]

「ヘッ、なんだよ、今日は随分とおとなしい格好じゃねえか」
「ええ、まあ……」

　ヴェラは曖昧に頷くと、先ほどまでギースの座っていた席についた。
　今日の彼女は、いつものような攻撃的かつ刺激的な格好はしていない。
　どこにでもいるような、普通の地味な町娘の格好をしている。

"Heh, what's this? You're looking pretty meek today."

"Yes. Well..."

Vera had nodded vaguely, and sat down in the seat that had been occupied by Guiss all this time.

Today she isn't in her usual aggressive and stimulating getup.

She's dressed as a simple town girl that you can find anywhere.

「昼間の喧嘩、もしかして、私のせいなんじゃないかと思って」
「お前のせい？　なんでよ」
「いや、その、私が、こんなだから……その、
　ご、ご子息が、勘違いされたんじゃないかな、って」
「関係ねえよ。どうせあいつは、お前のそのでっけぇ胸を見て、邪推したんだ」

　ヴェラが普段から薄着をしているのは、理由がある。
　昔は普通の冒険者だった彼女だが、
　あの転移で装備も無しにミリス大陸に飛ばされ、
　盗賊に捕まって慰み者になった。

　普通なら心を閉ざしてしまいそうな酷い目にあったが、
　彼女は凄まじい精神力でそれを乗り切った。

　しかし、乗りきれなかった女もいる。
　ヴェラの妹であるシェラがそうだ。
　あの子は、男の視線を受けると、未だに震えが止まらなくなる。
　そんなのは、団員以外にも。何人かいる。

　ヴェラはそんな子たちを男の視線から守るため、
　男の視線が自分に行くように、いつもあんな格好をしている。

　また、似たような目にあって沈んでいる他の女のケア係としても優秀だ。
　レイプされた女の気持ちがわからない俺にとって、
　無くてはならない部下の一人だ。

　もちろん、肉体関係は無い。
　あるわけがない。

"I was thinking, could it be that the the fight earlier today was my fault?"

"Your fault? Why?"

"No, well, I had, because... That is, 'hadn't I misunderstood your son?' I had been thinking."※

"That has nothing to do with it. That guy had probably seen that huge chest of yours and started thinking stupid things, anyway."

There's a reason why Vera usually dresses so lightly.

In the past she had been a normal adventurer but, because of that teleportation she was sent flying to the Miris Continent without even any equipment, she had been caught by some bandits and treated as their plaything.

Normally someone like that would close off their heart, and be in a terrible state, but with tremendous strength of spirit she had overcome it.

However, there were also those who couldn't overcome it. Vera's younger sister, Shera, is one of them. When that girl feels the gaze's of men, even today she can't stop trembling. Outside of our group too, are a number of women and girls like this.

For the sake of protecting them from the gazes of men, Vera wears that kind of outfit to draw the eyes of men to herself.

She's also excellent at taking care of those other women and girls who had been in a similar sitation to herself. To me who can't understand the feelings of women who were raped, she's a subordinate I can't do without.

Of course, I don't have a physical relationship with her.

There's no way that I would.


[※Note: uses 'gomusuko' which is how you refer to others sons. Well, I'm mentioning because some other people straight out drop the honorific 'go-'.]

「わかったら行け」
「……はい」

　ヴェラはしょんぼりしながら、女が集まっている席へと戻っていった。

"If you get it, then go."

"...Yes."

While looking downhearted, Vera returns to the table with all the women.

「ったく……」

　よくよく周りを見てみれば、
　オレのことを心配そうに見てる目の多い事、多い事。


"...Seriously."

When I looked around, one after another there are people looking at me with worried expressions.

「変な顔で見てんじゃねえよお前ら！
　明日には仲直りするよ！」

　俺は最後にそう言って、席を立った。

"Stop looking at other people with weird expressions, you lot! I'll make up with him tomorrow, alright!?"

In the end I had said just that, and left my seat.

---

　部屋に戻ると、そこにはノルンが一人で寝ていた。
　オレはテーブルにおいてある水差しから、水を一杯、コップへと汲んだ。
　ごくりと飲む。
　ぬるま湯は、オレのドロドロになった胃袋にすとんと落ちた。
　ゆっくりと酔いが醒めていく。
　昔から、オレは酔いにくい体質なのだ。
　大量に飲めば泥酔できるが、長時間は残らない。

When I returned to my room, I found Norun sleeping by herself.

I poured myself a cup of water from the water jug I had left on the table.

I gulp it down.

The lukewater water ran down into my sordid guts.

My drunkeness is slowly clearing up.

Since a long time ago, I've had a constitution that could handle alcohol well.

Though I'd get drunk if I drank a lot, I wouldn't stay that way for long.

　頭がゆっくりと醒めて来るのを自覚しつつ、
　毛布を抱きしめるように眠るノルンの頭をさらりと撫でた。
　ノルンはかわいそうな子だと思う。
　こんな父親の近くで言いたいこともあるだろうに、
　文句一ついわずに、健気に振舞っている。

　もしノルンが死ねば、オレは生きていられない。

Realising that I was slowly sobering up, I had gently stroked Norun on the head, who asleep was hugging her blanket.

I think that Norun is quite a pitiful child.

Though she'd probably want even a father like me to be close-by her, without uttering a word of complaint, she always puts up a brave front.

I wouldn't be able to live without her.

「んうぅ……お父さん……」

　ノルンが身動ぎをした。
　起きてはいない。寝言だろう。
　彼女は平凡な子だ。
　ルディとは違う。
　オレが守ってやらないと……。

"Nn uuh... otou-san..."※

Norun had shifted her body.

She's not away. It was probably sleep-talking.

She's an ordinary child.

She's not like Rudy.

I have to protect her, or else...


[※Note: Goodness I'm fickle. Decided to just leave all things like this in romaaji. Let's be real here. How many Japanophiles DON'T know what this means?]

「……」

"..."

　もしルディが平凡だったら。
　ルディもまた、ここで寝ていたのではなかろうか。
　家庭教師には行かず、ずっと実家で過ごして、
　転移した時に、オレの裾でも掴んで、
　僕にもノルンを抱かせてよ、なんて言っていたかもしれない。
　平凡なルディだ。
　平凡な11歳のルディ。
　俺はそれを、守るべき対象として、こうやって……。

If Rudy were ordinary...

Would Rudy be sleeping here as well?

Perhaps without becoming a teacher, living with us all along, when the teleportation incident occured, grabbing my sleeves, and saying something like 'let me hold Norun too'; something like that might have happened.

An ordinary Rudy.

An ordinary 11 year old Rudy.

It'd be something I'd have to protect, and like this...

　足が震えた。

　ギースが「11歳のガキだ」といった理由がようやく理解できた。
　そうだ。
　平凡だろうが、天才だろうが。
　何が違う。
　同じじゃないか。
　もし、ノルンが天才だったら、オレは同じことを言ったのか？
　ノルンに、何も知らず、ただ呑気に旅をしてきたノルンに。
　あんな事を、言ったのか。
　お前にはもっと期待していたなんて、言ったのか？

My legs trembled.


I finally understood why Guiss had said '11 year old kid'.

That's right.

An ordinary kid or genius; how does that change anything?

Isn't it the same?

If Norun were a genius, would I have said the same thing?

If Norun had without knowing anything, gone on a carefree journey, would I have said that kind of thing?

'I had expected more out of you', would I had said something like that?

　想像して、眠れなくなった。
　横になる気がしなかった。
　宿の外に出て、火事用に貯めてある水瓶の水を、頭から被った。
　酒場を出て行った時のルディの顔を思い出して、吐いた。
　ルディにあんな顔をさせたのは誰だ。

　桶に溜まった水。
　そこには、馬鹿な男の顔が映っていた。
　世界で一番、父親に似つかわしくない男の顔だった。


Imaging that, I became unable to sleep.

It didn't feel like I was lying down, resting.

Leaving the inn, I had picked up the water jug saved for fire emergencies, and poured it over my head.

I recalled the face Rudy had made when he had left the bar, and I sighed.

Just who was it that had made Rudy make a face like that?


There was water gathered in a bucket.

In there, it reflected the face of a foolish man.

It was the face of the number one man least suited to be a father in the world.

「ハッ、こりゃ、ダメかもしれねえな……」

　オレだったら、こんな男とは縁を切るね。

"Hah, this might be no good, huh...?"

If it were me, I'd have severed my relationship with such a man.



--- ルーデウス視点 ---
--- Rudeus' Perspective ---

　翌朝。
　俺はいささかスッキリした気分で朝食を取っていた。

The next morning.
Feeling a little better, I gone to get breakfast.

　場所は宿屋の隣にある酒場。
　ミリシオンの食事はなかなかうまい。
　大森林からこっち、移動すればするほど食事がうまくなる。

The location is the bar next to the inn. Mirishion food is quite tasty. The further move from the Great Forest to Mirishion, the tastier the food gets.

　今日の朝食は焼きたてのパンと、
　スッキリした味わいの透明なスープ。
　生野菜のサラダ。
　そして分厚いベーコンだ。

Today breakfast comprises freshly baked bread, a lightly flavoured clear soup, a salad of fresh vegetables, and thickly cut bacon.

　昨晩はありつけなかったが、
　夕飯にはなんとデザートが付いているらしい。
　最近流行りの、幼い魔術師の冒険者譚の詩。
　そこに出てくるデザートで、
　若い冒険者に人気の甘いゼリーだそうだ。
　楽しみにしておこう。

I hadn't managed to come across it last night, but dinner seems to come with desert or something. It seems that in the song about the young magician that's been popular recently, the desert that's been popular with young adventurers, sweet jelly, appears.

　飯を食う。
　それは幸せなことだ。
　腹が減ると、イライラしてくるからな。
　イライラすると食欲が無くなり、
　食欲が無くなると、腹が減る。

I eat.

Just this is something to be happy about. You become quite irritated when your stomach is empty, after all. When you get irritated, you lose your appetite, and then when you lose your appetite, your stomach ends up empty.

　見事な悪循環だ。
　アンドロイドも不機嫌になろう。

It's a truly vicious circle. Even an android would become sullen.

「……いらっしゃい」

　と、そんな事を考えて、食後にコーヒーのような飲み物を飲んでいると、
　酒場の店主がふと入り口に目を向けた。

　ゲッソリと窶れた、青い顔をした男が立っていた。

　俺はその顔を見た瞬間、
　あからさまにビクついた。

　男はきょろきょろと店内を見渡し、俺を見つけた。

　俺の心中に昨日の感情が浮かび上がり、
　何も言われていないのに、自然と目線を逸らした。

"...Welcome."

While I was thinking about such matters whilst having my after-meal coffee-like-beverage, the barkeep had suddenly shifted his eyes to the entrance.

A pale-faced and completely worn out man was standing there.

The moment I see that face, I become blatantly frightened.

The man had been looking around the shop, and had spotted me.

The feelings from yesterday floated up from the back of my mind, and though he hadn't said anything to me, I had naturally averted my eyes.

「……」

　そんな俺の様子を見て、同席の二人は、すぐにこの人物が誰か察したらしい。
　ルイジェルドが眉を潜め、エリスが椅子を蹴って立ち上がる。

"..."

Seeing me like this, the two people that I was sitting with had seemed to sense who this person was. Ruijeld frowns, and Eris violently stands up.

「誰よあんた」

　こちらへと歩いてくる男。
　その眼前に、エリスは立ちふさがった。
　両腕を組んで、足を肩幅に開いて、アゴをくっと上にあげて。
　厳然とした態度で、頭二つは高い位置にある男の顔を睨みつけた。

"Who the hell are you?"

The man is walking towards us.

In front of his eyes, Eris is standing in the way.

Both her arms are crossed, her feet are shoulder length apart, and her chin is raised.

With a stern attitude, she's glaring at the man who is two heads taller than her.

「パウロ・グレイラット……そいつの父親だ」
「知ってるわ！」

　俺がエリスの背中を見ていると、頭上から声が降ってきた。
　苦笑するような声だった。

"Paul Greyrat... I'm his father."

"I know that!"

When I looked towards Eris' back, a voice came from above. It was a voice that seemed to be laughing bitterly.

「なんだルディ、女の後ろなんかに隠れやがって、随分と色男じゃねえか」

　その声音、その口調。
　俺はちょっとだけ、ほっとした。
　そうそう。
　昔のパウロは、こんな感じで俺をおちょくってきた。
　懐かしい。
　俺はこの態度を、パウロなりの歩み寄りだと考えることにした。
　朝一でわざわざ酒場までやってきてくれたのだ。
　俺にだって、話をする余裕ぐらいはある。

"What, Rudy? Aren't you quite the lady's man now, hiding yourself behind a woman."

That voice, and that tone.

I felt just a little relieved.

Right, right.

The old Paul had teased me in this manner.

It's nostalgic.

From this attitude, I had come to think that Paul had made his own concessions.

He'd gone out of his way to show up at this bar first thing in the morning.

I have the composure to talk a little as well now.

「ルーデウスが私に隠れてるんじゃないわ！
　私がルーデウスを隠しているのよ！
　ダメな父親からね！」

　エリスはブルブルと拳を握りしめ、
　今にもパウロの顎に向かって拳を振るいそうだった。
　俺はルイジェルドに目線で合図をする。
　すると、彼は察してくれたのか、
　エリスの首根っこを掴んで持ち上げた。

"Rudeus isn't using me to hide! I'm hiding Rudeus! You're a useless father, after all!"

Eris was shakily clenching her fists, and they seemed like they were about to swing towards Paul's chin at any moment.

I signal Ruijeld with my eyes.

When I do, he may have understood, and raised Eris by the scruff of the neck.

「ちょっ！　ルイジェルド！　離しなさいよ！」
「二人にさせてやれ」
「あなたも昨日のルーデウスは見たでしょ！
　あんなの父親じゃない！」
「そう言ってやるな。父親なんてあんなものだ」

　なんて事を言いながら、この場から立ち去ろうとする。
　と、ルイジェルドはパウロの横を通り過ぎる時、ぽつりと言った。

"Wha-! Ruijeld! Unhand me!"

"Let's leave the two of them alone."

"You saw how Rudeus was last night, right!? Isn't this that father of his!?"

"You can say that. A father is basically that sort of thing."

Whilst saying something shocking like that, he makes to leave the bar.

When he had passed by Paul, he spoke.


[※Note: Sorry. Can't tell if this 'na' is seeking agreement with Eris, or if it's a 'na' that's saying "Don't" i.e. 'don't say that.']

「お前にも言い分はあるだろうが、その言い分が通るのは、息子が生きている時だけだ」
「お、おう……」

　ルイジェルドの言葉は重い。
　彼は、自分の事を世界一ダメな父親だと考えていそうだしな。
　同じくダメな父親に、シンパシーでも感じているのかもしれない。

"Though you probably have your own excuses as well, those excuses will only work while your son is still alive."

"R-, right..."

Ruijeld's words were heavy.

He thinks of himself as the world's most useless father after all.

He might have felt sympathy towards another useless father.

「ルディ、年上をアゴで指図すんなよ」
「違いますよ。顎じゃないです。信頼のアイコンタクトです」
「似たようなもんだろうが」

　パウロはそう言いつつ、俺の前へと座った。

"Rudy, don't order your seniors around with your chin."

"I didn't use my chin. It was a look of trust."※

"They look pretty much the same though."

While saying this, Paul had sat down in front of me.


[※Note: 'eye contact of trust']

「あれが、昨日言ってた魔族か……？」
「はい、スペルド族のルイジェルドさんです」
「スペルド族ねぇ。随分と気の良さそうな奴じゃないか。
　噂と実物は違うってことか」
「怖がったりしないんですか？」
「馬鹿言え、息子の恩人だぞ」

　昨日の意見とは随分と違うようだが……。
　余計なことは言うまい。

　さて、と。

"Was that the Magic Person you mentioned yesterday...?"

"Yes. It's Ruijeld-san of the Supeld clan."

"Supeld clan, huh? He looks like a pretty good guy. So it's different from the rumours, huh?"

"Were you afraid?"

"As if. He's my son's benefactor, you know."

Though his view seems quite different from yesterday...

I'd better not say anything needlessly.

「それで、何をしにきたんですか？」

　思った以上に、硬い声が出た。
　すると、パウロはびくりと身を震わせた。

"And so, what brings you here today?"

More than I'd have thought, my voice came out stiffly.

「いや……その、謝ろうと、思ってな」
「何をですか？」
「昨日のことだよ」
「謝る必要はありませんよ」

　謝ってもらえるのは好都合だが、
　俺だって、エリスの胸枕で一晩ぐっすり寝て、きちんと反省したのだ。

"No, well... That is, I'd thought I'd come to apologise."

"Apologise for what?"

"For yesterday."

"There's no reason for you to apologise, you know."

Though it's convenient that he's coming to apologise, after soundly sleeping against Eris all night, I've properly reflected.※



[※Note: 胸枕 (munemakura) = breast pillow]

「ハッキリ言って、僕はこれまで、遊び気分でした」

　最初はともかく、
　旅は概ね順調で、
　エロいことに気を取られるぐらいには余裕があった。

　フィットア領についての情報収集をしなかったのは、間違いなく俺の落ち度だ。
　ザントポートでは無理だったが、
　ウェンポートでは情報屋と接触していた。
　そいつらに聞けば、何らかの情報は得られたはずだ。

　聞いて、調べて当然の事を調べていなかった。
　俺のミスだ。

"Speaking frankly, I had been treating everything up until now as a game."※

Putting aside the beginning, the journey was largely smooth, and I had enough leisure to be thinking about perverted things.

That I hadn't gathered information regarding the Fitois region was unmistakably my fault.

Though it was impossible in Zantport, I had come across an information hub in Wenport. Had I asked them, I should have obtained some sort of information.

Things that I should have naturally asked about and investigated, I hadn't. It was my mistake.



[※Note: 遊び気分(asobikibun) → he'd been doing everything up until now with the feeling of playing around]

「ですので、父様が怒るのも仕方ありません。
　この大変な時期に、僕のほうこそ、すいませんでした」

　フィットア領が消滅して、一家がバラバラになった。
　その時のパウロの心境を思えば、責める事はできない。
　俺は知らなかったおかげで、脳天気でいられた。
　悲劇を知らない、幸せな事なのだ。

"That's why it couldn't be helped that you were angry, Tou-sama. In this urgent situation, I should be the one apologising to you. I'm sorry."

The Fitois region had disappeared, and his family had been scattered. Considering Paul's mental state at the time, I can't blame him. Because I hadn't known, I'd been living thoughtlessly. It was a lifestyle that knew nothing of tragedy, and was full of bliss.

「いや、そんな事はないだろう。
　ルディだって一生懸命だったんだろ」
「いえいえ、全然。余裕でしたよ」

　ルイジェルドがいてくれたからな。
　リカリスの町を出た後は、比較的楽だった。
　魔物に奇襲を受けることもないし、
　黙っていてもご飯を捕まえてきてくれるし、
　エリスの喧嘩は止めてくれるし。
　俺としては楽な旅だった。
　実にイージーなオペレーションだ。

"No, that shouldn't be the case. You gave it your best too, didn't you?"

"No, no. Not at all. I had a lot of leisure to spare."

It's because Ruijeld was with us.

After we left Rikarisu town, it was relatively easy-going.

We'd never get ambushed by monsters, even without saying anything he'd catch food for us, and he'd stop Eris' quarrels for me.

For me, it was a comfortable trip.

It was a truly easy process.

「そっか、余裕か……」

　パウロが何を考えているのか、俺にはわからない。
　ただ一つ言えるのは、
　その声が少しばかり、震えているという事だ。

"I see, leisure to spare, huh...?"

I don't know what Paul's thinking.

All I can say is that voice had trembled just a little.

「伝言とやらを見つけられなかったのは、申し訳なかったと思っています。
　何が書いてあったんですか？」
「……オレの事はいいから、中央大陸の北部を探せって」
「そうですか。では、エリスをフィットア領まで送り届けたら、
　北部を探す事にしましょう」

　俺は機械的にそう答えた。
　どうにも、自分の言葉が硬いように感じる。
　なぜだろうか。
　緊張しているのだろうか。
　なぜだ。
　俺はパウロを許したし、パウロだって俺を許した。
　昔通りとはいかないが、今は緊急事態。
　緊急事態だから緊張する。
　当然か。

"I'm very sorry about not getting your message. What was written in it?"

"...That I was fine, so I wanted to search the northern parts of the Central Continent."

I had replied mechanically.

Though I can't do much about it, I can feel that my words are stiff.

I wonder why.

Is it because I'm nervous?

Why?

I've forgiven Paul, and Paul has forgiven me.

Though it can't be like it used to, right now is an urgent situation.

It's an urgent situation and so I'm nervous.

It's natural, huh?

「それはそれとして、
　フィットア領の現状について、
　もう一度、詳しく聞かせてください」
「…………ああ」

　パウロの声音も硬く、震えたままだ。
　彼も緊張しているのだろうか。
　いや、ソレ以前に俺自身も、やっぱり何かがおかしい。
　いつも通りに振る舞えない。
　前は、パウロとどうやって話していたっけか。
　軽口を叩き合うような間柄だったはずなんだが。

"Putting that aside, I'd like to ask one more time, in detail, about the situation of the Fitois region."

"...Yeah."

Paul's voice is stiff and trembling.

He might be nervous as well, huh?

No, before getting into that, there really is something strange about me.

I can't behave like I normally do.

How did I used to talk to Paul?

We should have had a relationship where we'd crack jokes at each other, but...

「まず何から話すか……」

　パウロは硬い声で、
　フィットア領で何が起こったのかを話してくれた。

　建物がすべて消滅していたこと。
　そこに暮らしていた人々がすべて転移したこと。
　死者も大勢確認されているということ。
　まだまだ行方不明者が多数だということ。
　パウロは有志を募り、捜索隊を組織した事。
　そのため、冒険者ギルドの本部があり、情報が集まりやすいミリシオンに拠点を置いたこと。
　ちなみに、もう一つの拠点はアスラ王国の首都にあり、
　そこは、あの執事アルフォンスさんが担当しているらしい。
　アルフォンスさんはこの捜索団の総責任者であり、
　現在もフィットア領で難民の救助をしているらしい。

　そして、パウロは各地に伝言を残した。
　俺に、手分けして家族を探すように指示を出していたのだ。
　一人前に独り立ちしている、長男の義務として。
　年齢的にはまだまだ子供であるはずだが、
　俺も精神的には大人なつもりだ。
　もしその伝言を見れば、奮起したことだろう。

　ゼニスとリーリャ、アイシャは見つかっていない。
　もしかすると、魔大陸のどこかで、すれ違ったかもしれない。
　そう思えば、俺の行動は悔やまれる。
　旅を急ぐあまり、一つの町への滞在を短くしすぎたのだ。

"Where should I start from...?"

In a stiff voice, he told me about what had happened to the Fitois region.

About how all the buildings had disappeared.

About how a huge number of people had been confirmed dead.

About how there were still a lot of people unaccounted for.


Paul had recruited volunteers and formed a search party. Because of that, they based themselves in Mirishion where the Adventurer's Guild headquarters was located, and where collecting information would be easy.

By the way, a second base of operations existed in capital city of the Kingdom of Asla, and it seemed to be headed by that butler Alphonse. It seems that Alphonse-san is in charge of the entire search operation, and is currently in Fitois giving aid to refugees.


Paul had left messages in various places. They were directions that involved us splitting up and searching for our family. It's the responsibility of the eldest son to become independent before he reaches adulthood. Though I had the age of a child, I was supposed to be an adult, spiritually. Had I seen that message, it probably would have roused me into action.


Zenis, Lilia and Aisha hadn't been found. I might have missed them somewhere on the Magic Continent. When I think this, my actions become really regrettable. I'd been too hasty on my trip, and had stayed at each town too little.

「ノルンは無事だったんですね？」
「ああ、運よく俺と接触していてな」

　パウロいわく、転移というのは、
　体のどこかが接触していれば、一緒に飛ばされるらしい。

"Norun is safe, isn't she?"

"Yeah. Luckily she was touching me."

According to Paul, it seems that if your bodies were in contact, the teleportation would send you flying together.

「ノルンは元気にしていますか？」
「ああ、最初は知らない土地でちょっと戸惑ってたみたいだけどな、
　今じゃ団員のアイドルみたいになってるよ」
「そうですか、それはよかった」

　そうか、ノルンは元気か。
　うん、実にイイことだ。
　まさに不幸中の幸い。
　喜ばしいことといえる。
　けど、なぜか、俺の心は晴れない。

"Has Norun been well?"

"Yeah. It seems like at first she had been a little bewildered due to being in a land she didn't know, but now she's the idol of the search party."

"Is that so? I'm glad."

I see. So Norun is well.

Mmn, it really is something good.

It truly is a silver lining.

You could say it's something joyous.

However, for some reason, my heart hasn't cleared up.

「……」
「…………」

　会話が途切れた。
　妙に間が悪い。
　俺とパウロの関係ってのは、こんなじゃなかったはずだ。
　もっとこう、軽い感じの関係だったはずだ。
　おかしいな。

"..."

"..."

Our conversation came to a pause.

It's strangely awkward.

My relationship with Paul shouldn't be something like this.

It should be a more relaxed relationship than this.

It really is strange.


---


　それからしばらく。
　パウロは何かを言っていたが、
　俺はそれにうまく返すことができなかった。
　気のない、硬い返事を繰り返すばかりだった。
　いつしか客は俺たち以外にいなくなっていた。
　そろそろ、仕込みを始めるから出て行ってくれないかと言われそうだ。
　パウロもその気配は察知したらしい。

After that, a while passed.

Paul had said something, but I had been unable to respond very well.

I just continued to give half-hearted, stiff replies.

Before I knew it, we became the only customers still there.

It seemed like the shop was about to start closing up, and soon we'd be asked to leave.

It seemed that Paul had noticed as well.

「ルディ、お前はこれから、どうするんだ？」

　最後に、そう聞かれた。

"Rudy. What are you going to do after this?"

In the end, I was asked that.

「……とりあえず、エリスをフィットア領に送ります」
「だが、フィットア領には何もないぞ？」
「でも、帰ります」

　帰らなければならない。
　フィリップも、サウロスも、ギレーヌも、誰も見つかっていないらしい。
　帰っても、誰もいないだろう。
　だが、戻らなければならない。
　なぜか。
　それが旅の目的だからだ。
　初志貫徹。
　まずはフィットア領にたどり着き、その現状をこの目で確認するのだ。
　そこから、中央大陸北部に移動して捜索するもよし。
　ルイジェルドあたりに頼み込んで魔大陸に戻り、各地を捜索するもよしだ。
　一応言語がわかるからベガリット大陸に行くのもいいかもしれない。

"...First of all, I'll be escorting Eris to Fitois."

"But there's nothing left in Fitois, you know?"

"Even so, I'll be returning there."

We have to return.

It seems that Phillip, Sauros, Girenu; none of them have been found.

Even if we return, there probably won't be anyone there.

Even so, we have to return.

Why?

It's because that was the purpose of the journey.

First we'll head to Fitois, then at Fitois we'll confirm the situation with our own eyes.

After that, it'd be fine as well if I headed to the north to search for people.

I'd be good if I asked Ruijeld to head back to the Magic Continent at the same time to search as well.

I can speak the language after all, so it might be good if I headed to the Begaritt Continent as well.

「その後、他の場所を探します」
「……そうか」

　こうして会話はすぐに途切れた。
　何を言うべきかわからない。

"After that, I'll search other places."

"...I see."

Like that, the conversation immediately paused again.

I don't know what I should say.

「ほれ」

　と、その時、酒場のマスターが俺達の前にコップを置いた。
　コトリと置かれた木のコップから湯気がたっている。

"Here."

At that time, the bar-owner had placed cups in front of us. Steam was rising from the wooden cups that he had left.※


[※Note: Says "with a 'kotori', the wooden cup". I think this is a sound, or another onomatopoeia that this author often uses, but I honestly have no idea what it's supposed to mean. Oh, and kotori is a bird, but that doesn't make sense either.]

「サービスだ」
「ありがとうございます」

　気付けば、喉がカラカラに乾いていた。
　手はギュっと握られており、
　手のひらには汗がベットリとついていた。
　同時に、背中や脇下がやけに冷たい事に気付く。
　前髪が額に張り付いている。

"It's on the house."

"Thank you very much."

When I had noticed, my throat had already become parched.

I had been clenching my hands shut, and my palms were sticky with sweat.

At the same time, I had noticed that other places like my back and my armpits were frightfully cold.

My hair is sticking to my forehead.

「なあ坊主。詳しい事はわかんねえが……」
「……？」
「顔ぐらい見てやれよ」

　言われて、初めて気づいた。

　俺は、パウロの顔を、一度も見ていなかった。

　最初に目をそらしてから、一度も、パウロの顔を見ることができなかったのだ。
　ごくりと唾を飲み、父親の顔を見る。
　不安そうな顔だった。
　今にも泣きそうだ。
　ひどい顔だった。

"Hey, boy. Though I don't know the details..."

"...?"

"At least look at his face."

Being told that, I had noticed for the first time.


Not even once, had I looked at Paul's face.


Since I had first averted my eyes until now, I hadn't even once been able to look at Paul's face.

I gulp, and look at my father's face.

He's making an anxious expression.

He seems like he'll cry soon.

It's an awful expression.

「なんですか、その顔は」
「なんだって、なんだよ」

"Why are you making a face like that?"

"What do you mean, 'why'?"

Paul's bitterly smiling face has no energy.

His expression combined with his sunken cheeks make him look like a different person.


However, I've seen a face like this somewhere before.

Where was it?

I think it was a long time ago.

A long time ago.


I've remembered.


It was in the bathroom of my house.

It was a year or two after I had become a recluse due to bullying.

While thinking that I could still turn things around, but also being aware that at this point there was a difference between myself and my peers that could never be filled.

Being too afraid to go outside, and having only my irritation and anxiety growing stronger; it was likely the most emotionally unstable period of my life.


I see.

So that's how it is?

Paul is emotionally unstable right now.

Unable to find the people he was searching for; no matter how much time had passes, hearing not a word of news; worrying, and worrying, thinking,

'Perhaps they've become injured.'

'Perhaps they've fallen ill.'

'Or possibly, for a long time they've already been...'


Worrying, and worrying...

Then finally, I'd shown up, and because I was so completely different from what he'd expected, he easily became irritated.


I remember something like this as well.

It was when I had first become a shut-in.

An acquaintance from my middle school days had come to visit, and talked to me about a few things that had happened at school.


Even though I was this depressed, even though things had been this rough for me, he just happily talked about his school life.

My stomach started hurting and throwing some harsh words at him, I burst out in anger.


I had been tinking that if he came again the next day, I'd apologise.

However, he never came.

I didn't make the effort myself.

I had a strange kind of pride.


I've recalled it.

The face he's making is the same as that one.


　苦笑するパウロの顔には、元気がない。
　表情も相まって、こけた頬のせいで別人に見える。

　だが、同じような顔を、どこかで見たような顔だ。
　どこだったか。
　昔だな。
　昔。

　思い出した。

　自宅の洗面所だ。
　イジメられて引きこもってから、一年か二年。
　まだ間に合うと思いつつも、
　しかし、周囲とは決して埋まらない差が出来たと自覚しだした頃。
　でも外に出るのは怖くて、焦りと不安ばかりが募った、
　一番、情緒不安定だった頃だったはずだ。

　なるほど。
　そういうことか。
　パウロは今、情緒不安定なのだ。
　探し人が見つからなくて、
　何時まで経っても音沙汰がなくて、
　心配して、心配して、
　もしかして怪我をしてるんじゃないかとか。
　もしかして病気になってるんじゃないかとか。
　それともあるいは、もうとっくに……と考えて、

　心配して、心配して……。
　ようやく現れた俺が、あまりにも想像と違ってあっさりしていたから、
　ついイライラしてしまったのだ。

　俺にだって覚えはある。
　あれは引きこもり始めてすぐの頃だ。
　中学時代の知り合いが訪ねてきて、
　学校での事をいくつか話してくれた。

　自分がこんなに落ち込んでいるのに、
　こんなに荒れているのに、
　相手があまりにも脳天気に学校生活の事を語って、
　俺は胃が痛くなってそいつにキツイ言葉を吐いて、八つ当たりしたのだ。

　その翌日、もしあいつが次に来たら謝ろうと思った。
　けれど、そいつは来なかった。
　自分から出向くことはしなかった。
　変なプライドがあった。

　思い出した。
　この顔は、あの時の顔だ。

「提案があります」
「ルディ？」
「こんな状況です、僕らは大人にならなきゃいけません」
「ああ、まあ、確かにオレは大人気ないとは思うが……何が言いたいんだ？」

　心の中がスッと晴れた。
　ようやく、パウロの気持ちを理解できた。
　そう思えば、あとは簡単だった。
　昔を思い出す。
　パウロに叱られて、強い口調で言い返した時の話だ。
　当時は、仕方がない奴だと思った。
　24歳、父親としては若いから、仕方がないと思った。
　あれから6年。
　パウロは30歳になった。
　生前の俺より、まだまだ年下だ。
　そして、生前の俺に比べれば、立派なもんだ。
　俺はやることもやらず、相手を責めることばかり考えていたからだ。

　俺はあの頃とは違う。
　そう誓ったはずだ。
　最近は忘れていたが、同じ過ちを繰り返さないと。
　この世界では本気で生きると、誓ったはずだ。

　今回は、規模こそ大きくなったが、同じ事をしている。
　6年前と、同じ事をしている。
　俺たちは同じ失敗を繰り返している。
　成長したつもりになって、前に進んだつもりになって、
　ずっと同じ場所で足踏みしていたのだ。
　それに関しては、素直に反省しよう。
　そして、反省した上で、

"I've got a proposal."

"Rudy?"

"In this kind of situation, we have to grow up."

"Ahh, well, certainly I feel that I'm childish but... What is it you want to say?"

My heart suddenly cleared up.

Finally, I understand Paul's feelings.

Thinking this, the rest was simple.

I recall the past.

The time when I had been scolded by Paul, and I had answered back in a strong tone.

In those days, I had thoguht there was nothing I could do about him.

For a father, 24 years old was young, and so I had thought there was nothing I could do.

It's been 6 years since then.

Paul is 30 now.

He's still younger than I was in my past life.

And comparing him to the past me, he's a splendid person.

I hadn't done the things I should have, and did nothing but think about how everything was someone else's fault, after all.


I'm different now.

That's what I had sworn to myself.

Recently I had forgotten though, and had repeated the same mistakes.

'I'll live properly in this world', I had sworn to myself.


Though the scale of things is larger this time, I'll do the same thing.

I'll do the same thing as 6 years before.

We've repeated the same mistakes.

With growing up in mind, with moving ahead in mind, I'd always been walking on the spot.

I'll reflect on it.

I'll reflect on it, and then...

「昨日の事はなかった事にしましょう」

　俺は、そう提案した。
　今回、俺は、傷ついた。
　心がポッキリと折れそうになった。

　きっと、当時、俺を心配してくれた友人も、そんな気持ちだったのだろう。

　そして、そんな気持ちのまま、二度と会わなかったのだ。
　今回はそうはならない。
　俺はパウロとのつながりを、決して断ちはしない。

"Let's make it so that yesterday never happened." I proposed.

This time, I had been hurt.

My heart had been completely broken.


Surely, at the same time, the friend who had worried about me had been feeling the same way.


And then, without having changed those feelings, we never met again.

I'll never cut off my relationship with Paul.

「昨日、僕らは喧嘩なんかしなかった。
　今、この瞬間、数年ぶりに再会した父と子……。
　そういう事にしましょう」
「ルディ？　何言ってるんだ？」
「いいから、ほら、両手を広げて、さぁ」
「お、おう？」

　言われるがまま両手を広げるパウロ。
　俺はその胸に、飛び込んだ。

"We never fought yesterday. Right now, this very moment, is the first time we've seen each other in several years... Let's make it like that."

"Rudy? What are you saying?"

"It's fine, so look, spread your arms like this."

"H-, huh?"

Paul spread his arms as he was told.

I jump into those arms.

「父様！　会いたかった！」

　むわりと酒臭さが漂う。
　今は素面のようだが、二日酔いなのかもしれない。
　ていうか、昔は酒なんて一滴も飲まなかったよな……。

"Tou-sama! I've missed you!"

The smell of alcohol drifted towards me.

Though he seems sober now, he might be having a hangover.

Or more like, he didn't drink a drop of alcohol in the past, did he...?

「る、ルディ？」

　パウロは戸惑っている。
　俺はパウロの肩に顎を載せて、ゆっくりと言う。

"R-, Rudy?"

Paul is bewildered.

I place my chin on his shoulder and speak softly.

「ほら、久々に再会した息子へ、一言あるでしょう」

　とんだ茶番だと思いながら、もう一度パウロのゴツい体を力一杯抱きしめた。
　顔は痩け、身体も一回り小さくなったような気がする。
　俺の身体が大きくなったのもあるだろうが、
　パウロも苦労したのだ、俺以上に。

　パウロは戸惑いつつも、ポツリと漏らした。

"Come on, meeting your son after all this time, you should have a few words, right?"

While thinking it was a massive farce, I fiercely hugged Paul's tough body again.

It feels like his face has thinned, and he's a size smaller now.

Though it might also be that I've grown bigger, Paul has had his troubles too. A lot more than I've had.

「お、オレも会いたかった……」

　一言いうと、何かが決壊したらしい。

"I-, I've missed you too..."

It seems with just those words, something had broken down.

「オレも会いたかった……会いたかったんだよ、ルディ……。ずっと、誰も、見つからなくて、死んでるんじゃないかって、思って……お前が、お前の姿、見て……」

　見上げると、パウロは涙を流していた。
　顔をくしゃくしゃに歪めて。
　大の男がみっともなく、しゃくりあげながら、泣いていた。

"I've missed you too... I've really missed you, Rudy... All this time I haven't found anyone, and I thought that you might have died... That you'd... seeing your figure..."

「ごめん、ごめんな、ルディ……」

　なんだか俺も泣けてきた。
　俺はパウロの頭をぽんぽんと叩き、しばらく、二人で泣いた。


　こうして、俺は約五年ぶりに父親と再会することが出来たのだ。


"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Rudy..."

For some reason I'd started crying too.

I patted Paul on the head, and for a while, the two of us cried.


Like this, I was able to meet with my father again for the first time in about five years.


-------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER END
-------------------------------------------------



I've been wondering, is using the word 'deliver' weird, when it refers to Eris? Like 'deliver her safely to Fitois' or something. I've always been using it, since I've heard it used like that, but I wonder what other people think. Does it sound too weird? Decided to use 'escort' instead, but hmm...