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- >Day Peaceful in Equestria
- >The sun is shining
- >The birds are singing
- >Disgusting.
- >You find yourself bored out of your mind as you meander through Ponyville, attempting to find something to do.
- >These ponies are far too happy for your liking
- >If only they'd tone it down a bit
- >It’s not like you wanted them to suffer
- >Oh no, not quite that bad
- >It’s just nothing really exciting happened
- >You turn a corner, spotting the one place remotely interesting in this whole town
- >And even then it’s not that great
- >Sugarcube Corner
- >You find yourself walking over to the bakery, hoping for a little flash of light in this dreary life you live
- >A few feet away from the door, you sense something behind you
- >You turn around, only to see the one thing that could make a day like this worse
- >Fluttershy
- >”H-hello Anon! I-I’ve got your f-fetish this time for sure!”
- >That stutter is like a drill through your brain
- >You smell a faint aroma coming from her
- >It smells of sex
- >You don’t attempt to hide your contempt, and glare down at her
- I seriously doubt that, you pest, but I suspect you’ll try regardless. Go ahead.
- >She squeak’s, whether in delight or in fear you aren’t sure. Either way, the aroma strengthens
- >Fucking pony.
- >She reaches into a bag hanging from her side, and pulls out a deck of cards
- >”A-are card tricks y-your fetish, Anon?”
- >You stare
- >You are dumbfounded
- >No one can be this stupid. No one
- >How could this fucking pastel coloured pony possibly think that a card trick would be your fetish?
- >You consider reaching down and killing her, right in bright daylight
- >How easy it would be
- >She must see what you’re thinking in your eyes.
- >”I-is t-that a no, A-anon?” she squeaks out, and this time you’re sure it isn’t fear.
- >Does she want you to hurt her or something?
- >Oh god
- >You groan
- >This place may be hell, but it’s currently home
- That’s a no Fluttershy. Now go away, before I throw you away
- >”I w-wouldn’t mind if y-you threw me, Anon”
- NOW
- >She scurries off, giggling the whole time
- >Fucking Fluttershy.
- >You turn around again, and head into Sugarcube Corner
- >”HEYA ANON”
- >You smile as the pink blur charges into you full speed
- >Pinkie may be almost as stupid as Fluttershy at times, but at least she was entertaining
- Good morning, Pinkie. How are you?
- >”Well I’m just fantastic silly, except I’m a little bored because there are not enough customers around!”
- >Pinkie, bored?
- >”But of course I’m not bored anymore now that you’re here Anon! Now we can hang out and you can eat some sweets and oh I just know you’ll love them all!”
- >She zooms off before you can respond
- >You pause, and decide to take a seat
- >Moments later, Pinkie returns with a tray full of sweets
- >Your mouth waters a little
- These look great Pinkie!
- >You’ve always had a sweet tooth, even back on Earth
- >These ponies are mad about sweetness, and Pinkie brings it to a whole new level
- >You suspect if you ever snapped, you’d let her live
- >Not that you expect to snap
- >Probably.
- >You shake your head and start to eat, aware of Pinkie staring at you the whole time from the other side of the table
- >You finish off the first treat and look back at her as something dawns on you
- Pinkie…
- >”Yes Anon, are you going to tell me how wonderful these treats are?! I just knew they’d be fantastic even though they’re a new recipe and I was a little nervous so I figured I’d test them on you since you have such go-“
- >You put a hand over her mouth
- Yes, Pinkie, they’re great. But that’s not what I was going to say
- >Pinkie stops trying to talk through your hand, and is suddenly right beside you
- I was wondering, do you know anyone who isn’t always super friendly in Equestria?
- >Pinkie stares at you, looking confused
- >”Why would you want to know someone not friendly all the time?!”
- Well, that’s not exactly what I mean. I’m just curious if there’s anyone who goes against the general rules of Equestria? Besides me, I suppose.
- >Pinkie ponders for a moment
- >Suddenly a light bulb appears above her head
- >What the?
- >Oh right, it’s Pinkie.
- >”Well, I can think of one guy!”
- >You feel your heart beat faster
- >Perhaps you can find someone who will understand how boring all this peace is
- Who, Pinkie?
- >”Discord!”
- >What
- >What kind of name is Discord?
- Pinkie, who is Discord?
- >”You mean you don’t know?!”
- …Pinkie, you do know I’ve only been here for a month, right?
- >”Oh my gosh I totally forgot how silly of me! Discord is the spirit of chaos!
- >Your heart beats even faster
- Chaos you say?
- >”Yup! Of course, he isn’t all bad; he just takes his jokes too far!
- And where might one find this Discord fellow?
- >”Well he’s a statue so I bet he doesn’t move much unless he had someone cart him around but…”
- >You stop listening, letting Pinkie continue yammering on
- >Stuck in a statue?
- >That won’t do at all
- >Your beam of light can’t be shot down so fast!
- >Unless…
- Pinkie, how did Discord become a statue?
- >Pinkie shoots you a massive grin
- >”Well we turned him into with our elements of harmony!
- >Of course, magic.
- >So there’s only one course of action left
- >You stand, causing Pinkie, who was leaning on you at that point, to fall over laughing
- Pinkie, can you take me to Discord’s statue?
- End of Chapter 1
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