Wackadoo Journalism With Ron Brynaert

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The first and greatest exponent of Wackadoo Journalism, Ron Brynaert, told the following story on the genesis of the literary movement which he has named and shaped.

"It all started on August 20th, of 2005, at Hunter S. Thompson's funeral. He had a new psychedelic, aplysiomorpha based, but his health was so poor he didn't dare try it. His last great practical joke on the United States was getting his executor to include a couple of pounds of it along with his ashes, which were fired out of a cannon from the top of a 150' tower.

The original substance was changed by the heat, the pressure, and the chemistry of the gunpowder. It floated on the stratosphere for years, finally falling as dust in various parts of the world. I got a big dose of it cleaning my apartment the summer of 2010 and I didn't come down enough to speak for nearly three months. I've read Breivik's writing and it's pretty obvious he had a big dose, too. I bet when they get done checking out this Holmes kid in Aurora they find out he's been up near Thompson's property at some point in the near past."

Some people like Breivik and Holmes just go off, but most of us develop the ability to see patterns in events that none of the rest of you can. I'm the first, I named it, but I do have some peers with their own unique writing styles and I believe that they, too, have been exposed to the transmuted, self propagating psychedelic that formed when HST's ashes were shot out of that cannon.

Seth Allen definitely has it going on, he's part of the Wackadoo Journalism avant garde. He was just a plain internet troll for a long time, roaming around talking to himself on message boards and harassing people at random. He must have guessed that the source was airborne, and that's why he's running the busiest chemtrails board on the internet."

Brynaert rambled on for another twenty minutes, naming others he felt had been touched by the genius of Thompson's last gesture. When asked about why he thought the phenomenon was spreading rather than dissipating he had a novel, but potentially workable theory.

"Many of us think that Thompson had Creutzfeldt–Jakob, a sort of mad cow type disease that affects humans. This is a prion based disease, it's not really alive, it's just a self replicating protein, a weird, dangerous biological crystal that eats your brain. The heat, the pressure, the gunpowder chemistry, the prions in Thompson's ashes, and the aplysiomorpha based psychedelic all combined to produce an airborne self replicating psychedelic hosting or producing protein. Exposure to gunpowder residue seems to be a co-factor. Neither Seth nor I own guns, but thanks to the improvement in our pattern matching abilities due to the 'stuff', we are aware that the effects are more commonly seen in those who own guns than in the rest of the population."

When asked about other areas of society where the effects of the self propagating, psychedelic producing prions Brynaert only had to think for a moment:

"Michele Bachmann. Without a doubt, this woman plays the same role in the political space that I do with Wackadoo Journalism. She finds patterns that no one else can see, like the secret conspiracy of the Muslim Brotherhood to infiltrate our government, and she has the same fearlessness seen in Brievik and Holmes. It's not that she doesn't realize there are consequences for what she does and says, but she isn't going to let that stop here. The truth MUST be known, and Michele will prevail."

Having spoken her name aloud, Brynaert suddenly became restless, his eyes darting all over the cafe. He began edging out of the booth.

"Listen, I am starting to wonder if I should have told you any of this. I mean, if people hear the details before they are ready, their reactions can sometimes be extreme. I think I better go."

Brynaert made his way out the door into the throng of occupiers that filled the Union Square area that night, and I haven't seen him since. Ron, if you're out there, you know how to reach me, and I'd like to hear more.

    Sincerely,

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