Critique 1

So, I'm not completely well-versed on Pack Street as much as I should be.

I'll do my best! I'll be writing these notes as I go down the text.

I like the conceit of the sister "helping" her brother in that way even if I don't particularly like incest. Especially the way you frame it as her helping him because it's so pathetic she can't stand it.

We're definitely getting this from Anneke's point of view. Her thoughts, her interpretations, her sensations. It's interesting that you chose to focus on it that way. While this is fine, one problem with the POV is that there are times when Wolter sort of fades into the background and I'm not sure he's even "present" for the scenario, you know?

On line 79 she's talking to him, but he doesn't react or respond, for example.

There's a good sense of a deconstruction of Anneke's moral compass here; even though she's the one who initiated, she's reluctant, but that reluctance fades away over the course of the story and she keeps trying more and more things.

Line 119: I love this line, hilarious.

The wrap up is also good at reestablishing the sibling relationship with the semi-immature banter. However, we again fall into the issue of so much focus from Anneke that we're almost completely inside her head. Including more about Wolter, even just his name in some of the more protacted sex sections, would go a long way.

However, you may choose not to split the focus. If you don't, I think at least having Wolter respond and talk at her as she's going at him would serve to cement him in the scenes more.

Good job, all in all!