T__Dutch x Viskiv x SamandTolki

[13:36] <Viskiv> yo
[13:48] <Viskiv> mind telling me what that tweet of yours is even about?
[14:04] <Viskiv> well, I'm about to start streaming, so I'm just going to assume what you're talking about is my most recent pastebin that's still in the title, though I can only guess because I really don't know what you're talking about. I didn't complain about anything in that pastebin - simply explained why I was busy and hadn't been streaming lately.
[14:07] <Viskiv> That being said, you don't know me or my life. Even if people struggle to get a job (they shouldn't), that doesn't mean I'm automatically happy in life just because I have a job. Streaming is the only thing that kept me from committing suicide by now. Streaming full time is what I do to stave off depression. It would fucking suck to not be able to do so anymore, regardless of having a job.
[14:08] <Viskiv> Also, I honestly don't have much sympathy for people who 'can't find a job'. If you want to work, you can work. People either don't apply themselves fullyto job hunting, or just give up when they don't find a job. I've never been employed in my life - I work for myself. You can make money without being a pawn in a corporation.
[14:09] <Viskiv> I have no idea if this addresses what you were calling disgusting, because I still am not really sure what given there was no complaining in that pastebin, but I can only assume it was about the fact that I had to go back to working that you interpreted as complaining.
[15:43] <TDutch> Hi, sorry, I had a driving lesson
[15:43] <TDutch> But I'm not offending you at all
[15:43] <TDutch> And.. sorry to hear about that depression/suicide thing
[15:44] <TDutch> Like, I don't know how to react to people since my parents got fired both from their jobs and they can't find another since the economical crisis here in Holland
[15:47] <TDutch> And my reaction on people who are able to work / get a job is anger.
[15:47] <TDutch> ..able to get a job and being too lazy to actually do it*
[15:48] <TDutch> And thatdisgusts me
[15:51] <Viskiv> but I'm not too lazy to work at all
[15:51] <Viskiv> I just am not happy in life
[15:51] <Viskiv> unless I'm streaming full time
[15:51] <Viskiv> two fundamentally different things
[15:51] <TDutch> What makes you unhappy?
[15:51] <Viskiv> a lot of things
[15:52] <TDutch> Like, aren't you loved by family or so?
[15:52] <TDutch> I don't want to be a dick, but there are ways to solve that, y'know
[15:54] <Viskiv> that's not it, but it's not something I particularly want to talk about
[15:54] <Viskiv> it's personal stuff
[15:54] <TDutch> I understand that
[15:55] <TDutch> But still, there are ways
[15:55] <TDutch> I think you should consider that actually
[15:56] <Viskiv> my way of being happy is immersing myself in doing something I love
[15:56] <Viskiv> if I have to work for 8 hours a day, though, that's 8 hours a day I'm not able to do that and am unhappy in that time[15:57] <TDutch> uuumm
[15:57] <TDutch> I think you have to understand me as well
[15:57] <TDutch> Like there are happy moments
[15:57] <TDutch> And also unhappy moments
[15:58] <TDutch> But for depression and suicidal things there are solving people
[15:58] <TDutch> And I'm totally fine with you not wanting to talk about that, but please, accept that there are moments in your life which fucking suck
[15:59] <Viskiv> I don't need 8 hours of them every single day
[15:59] <Viskiv> especially when I can just
[15:59] <Viskiv> not have them
[15:59] <Viskiv> I am happy with my life when I am able to stream full time
[15:59] <TDutch> Well
[15:59] <Viskiv> are you judging me for wanting to be happy as often as possible?
[15:59] <TDutch> I think you have to accept that you can't be streaming your whole entire life
[16:00] <TDutch> And no, I'm not judging you
[16:00] <TDutch> Is there any reason why you think that?
[16:01] <Viskiv> because you're telling me that I'm doing something wrong, basically
[16:01] <Viskiv> and are disgusted by what I do, apparently
[16:01] <Viskiv> and I do think I can do things that make me happy all my life
[16:01] <Viskiv> if streaming dies off, there are other professional gaming endeavours I can pursue
[16:02] <TDutch> Please, you have to be a little bit more like.. realistic.  Not judging at all
[16:03] <TDutch> There are unhappy shitty moments in life
[16:04] <Viskiv> what is unrealistic about what I'm doing?
[16:04] <Viskiv> I've been streaming full time for half a year happily
[16:04] <TDutch> And believe me, I felt fucking sick of shit what happened to me, I wanted to give up at some point as well.
[16:05] <TDutch> And then comes the moment that you realise there are happier moments as well
[16:05] <TDutch> No, I'm not saying what you do is unrealistic
[16:05] <TDutch> But what you think
[16:05] <TDutch> Like, how is it possible to stream your whole life, full-time ?[16:06] <TDutch> That seems rather unrealistic
[16:07] <Viskiv> how so?
[16:08] <TDutch> Oh please
[16:08] <TDutch> Do I have to explain this?
[16:08] <Viskiv> please do
[16:08] <TDutch> Like, are you streaming each day, 8 hours, for 60-70y long?
[16:08] <TDutch> That's unrealistic in my perspective
[16:09] <Viskiv> why not, if I wanted to?
[16:10] <TDutch> of course you can
[16:10] <TDutch> but it's totally an unrealistic, let's say, dream
[16:10] <Viskiv> how?
[16:11] <Viskiv> you say it's unrealistic but haven't said how yet
[16:11] <TDutch> Like, don't you want to work, build up a career
[16:11] <TDutch> Actually reaching some position in life'
[16:11] <Viskiv> wow, that is incredibly dismissive of what I do
[16:11] <TDutch> Like, streaming won't help
[16:12] <TDutch> Do you know what a CV is?
[16:12] <TDutch> Curriculum Vitae, i dunno what it is in English[16:12] <TDutch> It's a summary of your working career
[16:12] <Viskiv> I do consider this a career, actually. To me, streaming is the next big media platform, and in it, I am an entertainer just like any person who makes a career out of acting for tv or movies. I brighten people's lives, kill their boredom, and give them a place to hang out and relax in.
[16:13] <Viskiv> So I considering this actually reaching a position in life, doing something meaningful that's beneficial to society, and getting to do what I love for a living in return.
[16:14] <TDutch> there is a point where even your favorite thing dies out
[16:14] <Viskiv> You might think it's 'just playing videogames' or whatever, but it's not fundamentally different from acting, which is just playing make believe or in some cases just reading a script on a set that involves nothing but talking. It's about entertaining people.
[16:16] <TDutch> dude, there is a point where even your favorite thing dies out. That's just a fact, and I don't want to be dismissive nor a cock, I'm just tryingto let you understand that there are more things in life than streaming and entertaining other people.
[16:17] <Viskiv> people act for their entire lives
[16:17] <Viskiv> people perform music for their entire lives
[16:17] <TDutch> How do you mean, act?
[16:17] <Viskiv> why do you believe it's unrealistic to be an entertainer for your entire life?
[16:17] <TDutch> Like, not being yourself?
[16:18] <Viskiv> no, as in movies/tv
[16:18] <TDutch> ah
[16:21] <TDutch> I think you got to get to choose for yourself instead of others, to be honest. If you're so depressive/suicidal/whatever, why not solve the problem instead of running away from it?
[16:22] <Viskiv> because the problem is basically unsolvable and ruined my life for years of trying to deal with it
[16:22] <Viskiv> and I'm happy like this
[16:22] <TDutch> Everything is solvable
[16:22] <Viskiv> why do you care about the way in which I make myself happy [16:24] <TDutch> I'm only trying to let you understand that something is solvable
[16:24] <TDutch> But you don't understand that, apparently
[16:25] <Viskiv> what if I told you I had a terminal disease that was uncurable?
[16:26] <Viskiv> I don't, but hypothetically let's say that was the cause of my depression and I only had a couple of years left to live + lowed quality of life in the meantime. how do propose I solve that?
[16:26] <Viskiv> not everything is solvable
[16:26] <TDutch> oh jesus, sorry to hear that
[16:27] <TDutch> nvm i wasnt reading
[16:27] <TDutch> Just make the best out of it?
[16:28] <TDutch> Like, that is not hard
[16:28] <Viskiv> so what is wrong with me making the best out of my life now? I'm doing what I love most for a living and enjoying life that way. your anger seems to come from the fact that I want to do this rather than a traditional job, but it's not like I'm lazy - this is another job and any perceived complaining is that I'd rather this career of mine go better than the back-up.
[16:30] <TDutch> I am not angry, I was just upset
[16:31] <TDutch> So sorry if I reacted 'angrily'
[16:31] <Viskiv> I mean, you publically called what I do disgusting, so that's a thing
[16:31] <Viskiv> that seems angry to me
[16:32] <TDutch> Well, you understood that wrong
[16:33] <TDutch> Like, how would you react to somebody, who says the follwoing
[16:33] <TDutch> "Meh, I don't want to work for the rest of my life, but I'm able to"
[16:34] <TDutch> That's disgusting to me
[16:34] <TDutch> Also on the positive side, thanks for not throwing this into the general ALBW irc
[16:35] <Viskiv> the thing is I consider streaming full time working just like any other entertainment career
[16:35] <TDutch> So when you apply to a company, what's on your CV?
[16:36] <TDutch> "streaming videogames"
[16:36] <TDutch> nice career then
[16:36] <TDutch> That just doesnt make sense
[16:36] <Viskiv> two things
[16:37] <Viskiv> one, if I ever were to apply for something, the kind of job it would be would probably be one that appreciated someone who was a professional entertainer in this industry for years
[16:37] <Viskiv> two, it's extremely unlikely I will ever apply to a company
[16:38] <Viskiv> I have never worked for a company nor do I ever intend to, self-employment is a far better way of living life generally
[16:39] <TDutch> Then what is 'which means I had to go back to working'?
[16:39] <TDutch> Because no stream = no work for you, apparently
[16:40] <Viskiv> it means I had to go back to doing my more traditional self-employed work
[16:41] <TDutch> okay then
[16:42] <TDutch> and you dislike that?
[16:44] <Viskiv> yeah
[16:44] <TDutch> Well, sorry to say this
[16:46] <TDutch> But I think you're a little bit of an attention-lover, and ofc, there is nothing wrong with that but it shouldn't exceed extreme levels. Like, you're depressive, you're suicidal, there are no solutions, life is streaming, and for the rest it's boring and dumb, according to you. Streaming is only for money and attention,and nothing more.
[16:46] <TDutch> With that off my soul, I'm gonna cook dinner.
[16:46] <Viskiv> lol
[16:46] <Viskiv> you serious brah?
[16:46] <Viskiv> I don't want streaming to be about money at all
[16:46] <TDutch> Also feel free to share this, I don't care who knows
[16:47] <Viskiv> streaming is about doing what I love
[16:47] <Viskiv> not making money and getting attention
[16:47] <Viskiv> I donate all of the money that goes beyond streaming equipment / living expenses, you think I give a shit about money beyond what's necessary?
[16:48] <Viskiv> I also never said anything about life being 'boring and dumb'
[16:48] <Viskiv> but I am depressed and my solution is to do the thing I'm passionate about as my career
[16:48] <Viskiv> and you're judging me for that?
[16:48] <Viskiv> fuck off
[16:49] <TDutch> [2/1/2014 8:35:29 PM] xcd: "i need donations in order to keep streaming" - exact quote
[16:49] <Viskiv> that's not an exact quote
[16:49] <Viskiv> xcd wrote that himself, paraphrasing me
[16:49] <Viskiv> I've said I need donations to keep streaming full time
[16:49] <Viskiv> which is fundamentally different
[16:49] <Viskiv> and true
[16:49] <TDutch> And that's what I say for the last.
[16:50] <Viskiv> I'd also like to point out that you're agreeing with somebody who doesn't even stand by that statement any longer
[16:50] <Viskiv> I've talked to xcd about this and he understands / doesn't have a problem with me / apologised for the shittalking
[16:51] <TDutch> I'm off for cooking dinner, do whatever you want, shit-talk me the amount you want, I don't care. Good luck with living the rest of your life caring about nothing but streaming at all.
[16:51] <Viskiv> you're the one shittalking me dude
[16:51] <Viskiv> judging me for making a career out of what I love
[16:51] <TDutch> I dont want to influence Tom (XCD) in this, by the way
[16:51] <Viskiv> why don't you go judge every single entertainer who's ever lived?
[16:52] <Viskiv> or professional artists, why not judge them for doing something they love that isn't traditional work?
[16:56] <TDutch> I'm not judging
[16:56] <TDutch> I got a life
[16:56] <Viskiv> bullshit you aren't
[16:57] <TDutch> Are you angry?
[16:57] <TDutch> Seems like it
[16:57] <Viskiv> "sorry to say this" followed by calling me an attention-whore who only seeks money
[16:57] <Viskiv> when I don't stream for money at all
[16:57] <Viskiv> it doesn't make any sense how you even came to the conclusion
[16:57] <TDutch> sig
[16:57] <TDutch> sigh
[16:57] <TDutch> my meat's burning, brb
[16:57] <Viskiv> I stream because I love it, the money I get goes to enabling me to do it more and nothing else
[17:03] <TDutch> Well, good luck being depressed for the rest of your entire life, I even tried to let you understand that things can be solved. With that said, I'm off for a couple of hours, feel free to talk behind my back if you want to, if you do, good luck. I ain't stopping you, it only shows how stupid our 'relationship' is to each other. This is exactly what I meant with clashing a few weeks back, like there is always a sort of tension. And with that pastebin of yours made me snap.
[17:03] <TDutch> O/
[17:03] <Viskiv> dude
[17:03] <Viskiv> I'm not depressed when I'm doing what I love
[17:03] <Viskiv> and you're judging me because this is my solution to it, instead of whatever solution you prefer
[17:04] <Viskiv> and there is no tension on my end, you're the one starting shit
[17:04] <Viskiv> the tension is entirely on you
[17:04] <Viskiv> you also keep saying shit like 'go ahead and talk shit about me'
[17:04] <Viskiv> that's not what I'm doing
[17:04] <Viskiv> I'm not trying to fucking fight with you
[17:08] <Viskiv> and it makes me sad that you just want to end the discussion by talking shit and running away from me instead of resolving it, but whatever
[17:09] <Viskiv> I'm done wasting my time while I'm trying to stream. I'm not trying to fight with you but if you're so determined to make me an enemy so be it, have a nice life.
[17:12] <TDutch> thanks
[17:12] <TDutch> I'll have a nice life with a decent career
[17:13] <TDutch> gl
[17:14] <Viskiv> meanwhile I'll have a career that's literally my dream job
[17:17] <Viskiv> and also probably be happier not trying to make enemies out of people who are trying to be my friend, for no reason
[17:30] <TDutch> I'm nor trying to be an enemy, as you describe me
[17:30] <TDutch> Nor your friend