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- >Day toots in Equestria
- >You wake up and run to the bathroom
- Fuck I should not have had all that milk...
- >You are Anon
- >And you are mildly lactose intolerant
- >Consuming dairy blocks you up
- >The only thing that is allowed to leave is gas...
- >From your ass
- >You rip a huge fart on the toilet and then sigh in relief
- Fuck this smells awful...
- >You stand up and take a shower
- >Midway through the shower you fart
- >It smells so bad
- I guess that was...a wet fart.
- >You facepalm at your awful joke
- >You finish your shower and get dressed
- >There's a knock on the door
- >You run downstairs and open it
- >It's Flutterfaggot
- No.
- >"What?"
- Whatever you're about to say is not my fetish.
- >"I w-wasn't going to say anything b-but Twilight was..."
- >She moves to the side and Twilight walks up
- >"Hey Anon."
- Sup.
- >"Celestia has invited all eight of us to lunch in Canterlot. Can you make it?"
- Yeah of course!
- >You love you some foods
- When is it?
- >"I just said at lunch. Come to my house at 11 and you can walk with me and Spike."
- >You nod and she walks away
- >Fluttershy stands there staring at you
- So...what do you wanna do?
- >She eyes your dick
- NO! NONE OF THAT! SHAME ON YOU!
- >She cowers
- >"W-well how ab-bout m-maybe a w-walk?"
- A WALK?! THAT'S...a good idea. Let's go.
- >She perks up as you shut your door and step out
- >The light blinds you
- >You put an arm up to block the suns magnificent rays
- So Fluttershy...
- >She looks up at you
- >"Yes Anon?!"
- Jesus shit chill out. Why do you like me so much?
- >"Oh because you're funny, handsome, strong, have a big penis, kind, and so assertive..."
- >The way she says assertive is cute
- >You smile
- >She takes this the wrong way
- >She tackles you and begins making out with you
- >The force of the ground and her pushes your intestines together
- >Your body lets out a loud boom of a fart
- >Fluttershy jumps
- >You take the time she's startled to throw her off
- See?! This is what I hate about you!
- >She lays on the ground moaning
- >"I love how assertive you are...throw me again!"
- Nope.
- >You run the fuck out of there quick
- >You get to SugarCube Corner
- >You walk in and are greeted with a hoof across the face
- >You stumble over to a table and catch yourself on it
- >"That's what you get!"
- >Pinkie shouts at you
- >Oh right...
- --Insert Flashback card here--
- >You walk into SugarCube Corner
- Hey Pinkie! What's on the menu?
- >"Cupcakes and ice cream is the special today! Wanna take the super dooper scooper challenge?"
- >You cannot resist a challenge
- Bring it!
- >"Just sign here!"
- Maybe I will!
- >You sign the paper
- >Next thing you know you're set up in her kitchen in front of a crowd of ponies
- >She scoops twelve different types of ice cream in your bowl
- Uh Pinkie I don't know if I can eat this...
- >"You already agreed! If not you can just pay the 70 bit fee."
- >When the fuck did that happen?
- I don't remember agreeing to that!
- >She holds out the contract and points to a part that says you have to pay 70 bits if you cannot
- Fine! I'll do it!
- >You hold up your spoon
- >You dig into that shit fast as balls to try to finish it quick
- >Hey brain?
- >What's up ice cream?
- >FREEZE
- >You hold your head in pain and almost cry
- >Pinkie holds up a clock
- >"You have three minutes!"
- When was there a time?!
- >She shows the contract
- >She points to a part at the top thats in supersubscript before super dooper scooper and it says 'timed'
- FUCK IT!
- >You put spoonful after spoonful of ice cream down your throat ignoring the extreme brain freeze occurring
- >You finish 3 seconds before the timer goes off
- >The crowd of ponies watching you cheers as you stand up and hold the spoon above your head
- I AM LEGEND!
- >The ponies throw a party for a few hours in celebration of you doing it
- >Suddenly your stomach has something to say
- >*Gurgle*
- >You grab your stomach in pain
- Ahhhh! Everyone...get out quick!
- >They just stare at you confused
- >Well you warned them
- >You relax your body
- "BTHTHHTPLPLLPLFHTHHHTHTPTLBPTLHPTBLTPHLPTLPHLB"
- >All of their faces slowly change from confused, to shocked, then scrunchy face as they evacuate the building
- >Mr and Mrs Cake come back and see Pinkie gagging on the ground
- >They blame her as you sneak out of the window
- --Back to present--
- >You hold your face as you stand up
- >"I almost got fired for that!"
- I'm sorry Pinkie! I just want a cupcake...
- >"NO! Get out!"
- >She picks you up somehow and throws you out
- >You watch as the ground approaches
- >Then slowly goes away from you
- What the...
- >You look behind you and see Rainbow carrying you
- Where are we going?!
- >She doesn't respond she just keeps flying
- >You watch as the ground gets further away
- >Then she stops
- >You are thrown again
- >This time you land on something that feels like pillows
- >You look and see clouds
- Huh?
- >Rainbow lands in front of you
- >"This is my house!"
- >You look to your left and see a magnificent cloud mansion
- Wow.
- >"You wanna come in?"
- >You peer off the side of the cloud
- >Ground is a quarter mile away
- Yes please.
- >You stand up
- >You sink a little but in a moonbounce type way
- >"C'mon. Race you to the door!"
- >She flies at the house
- >You jump
- >Apparently this cloud is really springy because you launch at the door
- >You smack it and slide down cartoonishly
- >She falls over laughing and you stand back up
- Okay now it wasn't that funny...
- >She stands up
- >She wipes away some tears
- >"Funnier than you think. Go on it's unlocked."
- >You open the door and step inside
- >Except you fall
- >Straight through the clouds
- WHAAAT THE FUUUCK?!
- >She catches you
- >"Oh right...sorry the cloudwalk spell doesn't work in my house..."
- >She brings you back to the ground
- Why not?
- >"Cupcakes..."
- >She shivers and looks at the ground
- Okay?
- >"Gotta go man. Cya!"
- >She flies off
- >Fuck
- >How are you supposed to know where you are?
- >You look around
- Oh.
- >You see Carousel Boutique
- >You run over to it
- >Sweetie Bell is playing out by the tree
- >You walk up to her
- Hey Sweetie!
- >"Hey Anon! Can you not call me that?"
- Why not?
- >She blushes slightly
- >"Because it makes ponies think that y'know...we're together."
- But you're just a filly! Who said that?!
- >She turns back quickly and mutters something
- What was that?
- >"Diamond *mumble*"
- Okay, you are'nt Fluttershy. Speak up.
- >"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon! Everytime they see me they throw rocks at me and call me a...a..."
- A what?
- >"I can't say it."
- >You kneel down to her
- Just whisper it, I won't tell on you.
- >"A monkeyfucker..."
- >You stand up
- Well if you'll excuse me I have some work to do.
- >You walk through town searching for them
- >You spot them laughing at Scootaloo who's trying to fly with the help of Applebloom
- >A few ass whoopins later, Diamond Faggot and Silver Bitch are tied tail to tail and hanging on a tree branch
- >Scootaloo and Applebloom come running up to you and jump at your legs
- >"That was AWESOME!"
- >"Ah'm gunna tell mah sister that you stopped the bullies!"
- >She runs off
- >You smile
- All in a days work...
- >Scootaloo grabs your arm
- >"You wanna come play with me Anon?"
- Sure!
- >After playing a game of tag with her you ask
- Hey what time is it?
- >Scootaloo holds up her arm and there is a watch
- >"It's 10:57."
- GOTTAGOBYE!
- >You Sanic to Twilight's
- >Going so fast everything is just colors
- >Suddenly, yellow and pink
- >You trip on it and go tumbling with it until you hit something hard
- >You sit up and shoo away the birds circling your head
- >You see Fluttershy with her eyes spinning
- >Then they stop on you
- >"Oh Anon I love when you hurt me..."
- >She moans
- >Before you can scream and run away, a door opens to your right and Twilight steps out with Spike on her back
- >"You're here! Great let's go!"
- Why can't I ride too?
- >You point to her back
- >"Haha shut up Anon."
- >You laugh and stand up
- >Flutterfreak taps your side
- >"Y-you can ride m-me if you want..."
- Okay.
- >She squees and stands up tall
- >You supress your laughter as you put one leg over her
- >Then you bend over and push her body backwards so her face is right next to your butt
- >You rip a huge fart
- >She scrunchy faces so hard and falls over coughing
- HAHAHA!
- >You run and catch up to Twilight
- >You stand behind her and talk with Spike about little things until you get to the train station
- >The rest of the mane six are there
- >Pinkie still looks pissed at you
- >You approach her as the train pulls in
- I said I'm sorry!
- >She bounces up and slaps you with a hoof
- >Then she gets on the train
- >You look to Rarity and she shrugs
- >You all enter the train
- >Of course there's no one else in this car
- >Fluttershy sits right next to you
- >LIKE.RIGHT.NEXT.TO.YOU.
- >There are plenty other open seats but nope...
- Fluttershy go sit somewhere else.
- >"No."
- >You look at her
- Move.
- >"I said no."
- >You pick her up and put her a seat away
- >She slides back over
- Damnit.
- >She snuggles into your side
- >Then AJ sits across from you
- >"So Ah heard you taught Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon a lesson today."
- >Rarity scoots to your other side
- >"Yes do tell!"
- >You retell your story of beating snoody filly ass
- >"Anon darling I don't know how I can ever repay you! Sweetie Bell has never talked to me about it but I see it happen."
- >"Thank ya kindly Anon! Now Applebloom won't be flinchin as much when Ah...uh...russle her mane."
- >She avoids all looks
- >Spike sits diagonal from you next to Twilight who is looking at a piece of paper
- Hey what's that paper for?
- >She looks up
- >She gets that 'oh someone cares!' look in her eyes
- >"Oh this? It's a list of the day. I have one for every day you know! Every thing we do is all planned right he-"
- >She notices that everyone is asleep
- >She groans and pulls out a book
- >You wake up jizzing
- mmm...what the FUCK?!
- >Everyone else wakes up
- >Well except the Rainbow at your feet
- >You see Fluttershy's head in your pants
- >She pulls it out quickly
- >You grab her and throw her at the wall
- >She smacks against it and lays there for a second before standing up
- >She comes back over to you, walking on the seats
- >"It makes me so w-wet...when you h-hurt me..."
- >Why is this your life?
- >She rubs her cunt against you and you grab her
- >You lift her above the sleeping Rainbow at your feet
- >You drop her on Rainbow
- >Rainbow jumps up
- >"I DIDN'T FUCK THE TUR-"
- >All the eyes are on her
- >"Oh hey..."
- >Spike sits next to you
- >Awesome so much better than that Flutter freak
- >But he just keeps going on an on about how amazing Rarity is
- >And she's sitting on the other side of you
- >You pick him up mid sentence and put him next to her
- >He finishes his sentence
- >"And that's why I'd totally beat that shit up."
- >She stares mouth agape at him while you and Twilight laugh
- >AJ doesn't know what the fuck is so funny and Fluttershy is arguing with Rainbow about something
- >"Well Spike...I had no idea you felt that way. Twilight, may I speak to Spike in another car?"
- >"Yeah. The car in front of us should be empty too. This is second class."
- >She levitates Spike on her back and walks out
- >Suddenly Fluttershy
- >Right next to you again
- Fuck my life!
- >The train stops
- THANK YOU!
- >You get up and head towards the door
- >You open it and see Rarity sucking off Spike
- >All the laughs
- >Rarity is ashamed but still lets Spike ride her back as you walk through Canterlot
- >He deserves it
- >She didn't even finish him off
- >Fluttershy flies up to your face as you walk through Canterlot
- Fluttershy move.
- >"M-make me."
- Gladly.
- >You grab her and throw her a couple feet ahead of you
- >She rolls into a stand and it collapses sending an apple rolling down the walkway
- >A guard slips on the apple and falls on his back
- >He lets out a scream as his back pops out of place
- >The scream startles a nearby sword swallower
- >The sword pierces his heart and he dies instantly
- >His blood forms a trail down the cracks of the rocks and into a pool in a street
- >Princess Celestia is walking up the street when she sees you
- >"Oh! You're here!"
- >She trots over happily
- >Then slips in the blood and faceplants on the rocks
- >You run over and help her up because this obviously was your fault
- Hey are you alright?
- >She stands and her legs wobble a bit
- >"BTTHTPL"
- >Did she just fart?
- >She blushes hard and swishes her tail to push it away
- >She puts her head close to your ear
- >"Sorry...it's a problem I have with dairy..."
- Me too...
- >She backs away from you
- >"Well...lets have lunch then!"
- >She walks past you and the others and guides you to the gardens
- >You see a picnic blanket out with food
- >Celestia sits down and Twilight sits next to her
- >You sit across from Sunbooty
- >You are enjoying your cucumber sandwich when the ground rumbles for a second
- >You look up and while all the other ponies are looking around confused, Celestia is blushing and looking right at you
- >She continues to eat her food
- >So does everyone else
- >So Sunbutt has a problem with that too huh?
- >What ever do you mean Brain?
- >Fart. Do it now so she doesn't feel too embarassed
- >Whatever you say brain
- >You lean to the side
- >You try to slip out a small one
- "BPTLBPLTLBTH"
- >They all stare at you
- >Pinkie looks pissed
- >Celestia tilts her head for a bit
- >Then she leans to one side and "BLTPLLHPTLPPH"
- >They all look at her confused and disgusted
- >It was like love at first fart
- >You stand up and take her hoof
- >Pinkie comes at you
- >You turn your ass at her and "THPTLHPLTHLT"
- >She falls to the ground and gags as you and Celestia laugh
- >She stands up
- >Twilight speaks
- >"Don't you want to finish your foo-"
- >She is cut off by the glorious white bum "PLLLTHTBBBBHTTHHT"
- >You laugh and so does Sunbooty
- >Twilight falls over and throws up
- >"It...it got IN MY MOUTH!"
- >She throws up again
- >You and Celestia run away laughing
- >You stop behind a house
- >"Oh goodness Anonymous...did you see her face?! It was like bleh!"
- >She sticks her tongue out and crosses her eyes
- >You laugh
- That was so funny!
- >You're both silent for a second just staring into each others eyes
- >You both lean in and kiss
- >Then you both back up
- I'm sorry I shouldn't hav-
- >"No it was my fault we-"
- "BTHLPLTHLT"
- >She giggles
- Lets do it more!
- >She nods
- >"Lets go to Luna's room!"
- >With a flash of bananas and yellow you appear at a door
- >The door has a moon symbol on it
- >Tia is dancing from hoof to hoof
- >"Ohmygoodnessthisisgoingtobehilarious!"
- >So cute you almost die
- >She knocks on the door
- >It slowly opens
- >"Ah! Sister. And who's this? Anonymous! It's been a while since we've seen you! Come in both of you!"
- >You both supress your giggles and gas as you walk in
- >You stand next to Tia in the middle of the room
- >"You stay here, we'll go get drinks."
- >She walks into another room
- What do we do?
- >"Fart everywhere and then leave from the window!"
- >You start rippin them like a chainsaw
- >She plants her royal booty on Luna's pillow and gas explodes out
- Wait Celestia that's a little fucked up...she could get pink eye!
- >She shrugs then continues to fart all over the room
- >It smells like seven baby animals were raped to death in here
- >You hear Luna coming back
- She's coming!
- >"Quick get on my back!"
- >You jump on her and she flies out the window
- >She stays right beneath the window sill so you can listen
- >"Who wants martini's? Oh dear fuck what the-"
- >She coughs and gags
- >"TIA I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!"
- >Celestia lands you both and you fall over with gassy laughter
- "PLPLLBTHHTBPLP"
- >"HPTLHTPLLBTPLH"
- "PPLLLPBBTHHTHHH"
- >Then you hear a squirt noise
- >You look over to her and see a sputtering fountain of shit erupting from her anus
- Celestia! Fucking control yourself!
- >She lets it all out and then you both walk away
- >You go back to the picnic where the ponies are still sitting at
- >You sit back down like nothing ever happened
- >You finish your food and everyone gets up to leave
- >When heading back to the train, Tia stops you
- >"Same time next week?"
- You got it Sputterbutt.
- >She snorts and you put your hands up
- I won't tell anyone I promise.
- >"Alright. See ya."
- >You go back to the train
- >No funny business happens between anyone
- >They're all tired or pissed
- >You leave the train when it arrives at the station
- >Fluttershy walks home with you because her house is right next to yours
- >"Anon."
- >You look down to her as you walk
- Yeah?
- >She bucks you in the leg
- WHAT THE FUCK?!
- >You punch her in the head
- >She looks back up at you with a bruise on her head
- >"YES ANON! BEAT ME HARDER!"
- >You ignore her and head into your house
- >Today was an amazing day
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