I'm in Heaven When You Smile (pt. 1)

(This was the first chapter in what was going to be a long story about an introverted Anon who had grown up in the Cake household and had been raised by Pinkie Pie. The four chapters were written for the Ponemom general back in early 2015.)

***

>Although your legs were a bit cramped, you found that by spreading them apart you were able to sit comfortably on the train.
>Earlier today you saw an advertisement poster in the station.
>It proudly proclaimed that maximum comfortability for all traveling ponies was a top priority for the Friendship Express.
>You chuckle a bit at your incidental misfortune.
>If you were a pony, you’re sure that these seats would be very comfortable.
>But since you aren’t, you’re just going to have to take their word for it.
>The sun started to set, and you turned your head right to watch the dimly lit landscape pass by you at speeds made for convenient travel.
>It was a quiet Sunday dusk; the perfect time to reflect, predict, or contently slumber.
>Throughout the train ride, you were wondering how much a small town like Ponyville could’ve changed in six years.
>Or more importantly, how much the ponies who you once knew so well could have changed.
>Thinking about this caused a mixture of excitement and anxiety to form in your body.
>It was the only thing keeping you awake at the end of the day.
>Looking around the car you realized that the number of passengers had dwindled down to just you and three others.
>The conductor of the train was in your car as well, but with the way his head kept tilting down he should’ve been in bed.
>The three other riders were busy as well; reading, sleeping, and sleeping.
>You sighed and reached into your suit pocket to pull out a pencil and your trusty notepad.
>With nothing but the sound of steel on steel in the material world, you decided to retreat into your imagination by doodling.
>You open up to a blank piece of paper and press the tip of your pencil onto it, waiting for inspiration.
>But none comes, and you sit there and stare at the notepad until the train makes a brief stop at another station.
>After learning once again that you can’t force yourself to draw, you groan and put away your pad and paper.
>You look out the window to soak in your new surroundings.
>The station is empty, save for the employees, and two ponies who are boarding the train you’re on.
>One is a young mare with a golden coat and brown mane, and the other is a filly with a yellow coat and creamy orange mane.
>The filly quickly boards the train in an excited trot, leaving the mare, and her advice to wait up, behind her.
>Once on, she sticks her head out the door and yells, “hurry up Sis! I wanna get a good seat!”
>Now everypony on the train was watching the young filly as she continued to call to her sister.
>The mare got on the train and glared at her younger sister.
>”Sunny, I told you to stop and wait for me.”
>The mare’s scolding fell on deaf ears, but she continued to lecture regardless.
>Sunny was much too distracted to listen to her sister.
>She was staring at you with a look of shock and bewilderment.
>Her jaw had dropped, and her eyebrows were raised.
>You knew she was going to make a scene.
>”Holy cow, look at that!” Sunny exclaimed while pointing right at you.
>Everypony was looking at you now, sizing you up in judgmental glances you’re all too familiar with.
>The mare was stunned, and she quickly began telling Sunny that it was impolite to point, and that she would be in a lot of trouble when they got home.
>But the damage was done, and there are only so many options that you have in these situations.
>The passengers were all affixed on you as you got up out of your seat.
>That’s when they all tilted their heads upwards.
>You were a lot taller than the average pony, and your approach towards the young filly was met with worried gazes.
>As you got closer and closer to the sisters, the older pushed the filly behind her and spoke in a worried tone.
>”Look, I’m sorry for what my dorky sister said. She didn’t mean to-”
“It’s okay,” you interrupt.
>The mare’s face showed signs of relief, and she was about to say something, but she was stopped by her younger sister Sunny who was now at your feet.
>Sunny looked at you, she had a pleading stare, and her bright blue eyes twinkled with an innocent curiosity that gave you a small smile.
>You crouched down to the filly’s eye level and extended your hand forward.
“Hello Sunny, my name is Anonymous.”
>Sunny gasped, and her voice was optimistic.
>”Are you a hueman?”
>A confused fog filled your head for a second and you raised an eyebrow when you answered.
“Well, yeah. But how did you know?”
>Sunny’s face lit up after you answered, and to your, and everypony else’s, surprise, she hopped towards you and threw herself around your neck.
>”I knew it was you!” She proclaimed with excitement.
>You let a nervous chuckle escape from your lips and feebly reciprocated her embrace.
>Your eyes meanwhile darted over to the mare and asked her what was going on.
>She sighed, “I don’t know either dude.”
>The train doors closed.

>Sunny is just small enough to fit in with you on your seat.
>The mare, who was in the seat in front of you, turned around to peer over her seat and she pushed her silky mane out of her eyes.
>"So I guess I have you to thank for finally getting my sister into reading.”
>The mare rolled her eyes as she said ‘finally’ and gave her sister a teasing smirk.
>Sunny scrunched her nose, “you’re a liar, I read all the time.”
>The mare giggled, “You do not.”
>Sunny countered back with a ‘do too’, and the simplistic arguing began.
>You didn’t have any brothers or sisters, but you had known a pair of siblings all your life.
>So you had an idea about how this would eventually play out.
>Until one of them was proven wrong there would be no rest in the evening.
>After ten exchanges the real battle began.
>”I do read all the time and I can prove it too.”
>The mare squinted and obliged, “all right then.”
>She pointed at you, forgetting the scolding she had given earlier, and stated, “A good reader is able to retain information from what they’ve read.”
>”So this is what I want you to do Sunny. You have to tell me all about what happened in his book, if you’ve actually read it you should be able to that, right?”
>Sunny smirked and blew some air out the side of her mouth, “is that all? I can do that no problem.”
>You felt a bit of pride at her response.
>But it didn’t take long for it to be replaced by nagging insecurities.
>Sunny gave you a confident wink and began her summary.
>You unconsciously began tapping your foot and twiddling your fingers.
>As far as you were concerned, the true success of your book was to be measured here.
>”The book is about a rat,” she said with her snout high and her eyes closed.
>”What’s the rat’s name?” The mare interrupted.
>Sunny paused and her eyes conveyed a look of surprise; they later turned down.
“He doesn’t really have a name.”
>You say this with a smile, which grows even wider when you see Sunny gain back her confidence.
“He’s just a rat.”
>Sunny gave you another wink, “right, he’s just a rat sis.”
>The mare apologized and promised not to interrupt again.
>”So the rat lives with his owner, Kimmy, and he’s a really happy rat.”
>”But then one day Kimmy tells the rat that he can’t live with her anymore.”
>”This made the rat really sad, but Kimmy tells him that he shouldn’t feel that way.”
>Sunny pauses; she shuts her eyes tightly and tries to remember the specifics.
>”Kimmy told the rat, she said, ‘I know that you’re sad, and you don’t want to leave, but I have no choice. I’m sorry, but I made sure to find you a good home.’”
>”’I found you a home where great friends can be made. You may be scared, but they might be scared too, so I want you to remember my advice.’”
>”’Always try to be happy, always try to be kind, even if it may be hard, it will keep you from becoming blind.’”
>You silently mouthed the words that Kimmy said while Sunny recited them.
>”The rat didn’t know what Kimmy was talking about though.”
>Sunny opened her eyes and gave you both quick glances, “I didn’t know either.”
>”So, Kimmy said goodbye to the rat and sent him away to his new home, and guess what that new home was?”
You smirk and shake your head, “I already know so I can’t play.”
>The mare giggled, “Well, it’s probably a cage, right Sunny?”
>”Of course it’s a cage sis,” Sunny said with a hint of exasperation, “but what kind of cage?”
>The mare thought a bit, but Sunny quickly got impatient and continued.
>”Kimmy sent the rat to live in a mouse cage, with other mice.”
>”The rat was really sad. He didn’t know why Kimmy choose a cage full of mice as his new home.”
>”He tried to make friends with the mice, but he was a lot bigger than them, and they were scared of him cause of that.”
>”The rat didn’t know why all the mice were so scared of him though, and the mice wouldn’t tell him why they didn’t want to be around him.”
>Sunny sighed, “So the rat didn’t become friends with any of the mice.”
>”But if the rat had just listened to,” Sunny paused, then with a light giggle; “I can’t give that away yet can I?”
>Sunny looked at you eagerly.
“Not quite yet Sunny, you’re doing great by the way.”
>The filly snorted happily, “I know that.”
>The mare grew impatient this time, “don’t stop now Sunny. What happened next?”
>You found it unwise to think that she was actually interested.
>That didn’t stop you from hoping it may be true though.
>At that moment your story didn’t seem as small as its characters to you.
>Sunny took a deep breath, “So, the rat didn’t make any friends with the mice.”
>”The rat thought that it must be because the mice hated him that he didn’t make any friends.”
>”And when he started thinking like that, he decided not to be nice to them either.”
>”He used his size to bully the other mice; he ate all the food when they were fed, and didn’t talk to anyone.”
>”He thought that he had to do this, and even though the rat was mean now, he was actually really sad.”
>”So that’s how he stayed,” Sunny’s eyes had been closed again while she was speaking; they opened when she said, “But then something happened to the rat.”
>”One day somepony came by and took the rat out of his cage, and he said things like, ‘you’re a trouble maker, you shouldn’t be here. You used to be a good rat.’”
>”The rat was happy to be away from the mice though, and he was even happier when the pony dropped him into his new home.”
>Sunny’s eyes beamed and she looked at her sister.
>The mare grew a bit too excited, “they took him to a rat cage didn’t they?!”
>The mare got embarrassed at her outburst; her little sister laughed.
>”Remember to use your inside voice sis,” Sunny said in a teasing but friendly tone.
>The mare blushed and nodded her head, “no more questions please Sunny.”
>Sunny continued, “So, the rat lived in a rat cage now, with a bunch of other rats.”
>”Now that he wasn’t different anymore, he was sure that he could make friends and be happy in his new home.”
>Sunny’s smile drifted down until it was gone; she looked at you, “but that didn’t happen, did it?”
>You shook your head; you almost wish you hadn’t, as if you weren’t sure what would happen next.
>Sunny continued while you stared out the window, “the rat went to say hi to the other rats, but the other rats gave him funny looks and started being mean to him.”
>”They said his teeth were too big, and that his tail was too small, and they said that he should’ve just stayed with the mice.”
>”The rat tried to be friendly, but the other rats would just pick on him even more, and the rat didn’t know why the other rats didn’t want to be his friend.”
>”It was the worst day of his life,” Sunny paused after she said this.
>You could see the reflections of Sunny and the mare in your window.
>Sunny and her sister were looking at each other; they were smiling, and they would stay this way for a while.
>You wondered what those gazes held.
>You wondered what they were saying to each other that you couldn’t hear.
>”And then the next day Kimmy came to see the rat,” Sunny sighed, “and when she saw her friend in the rat cage, she started to cry.”
>”The rat asked Kimmy why she was crying, and Kimmy told him, ‘I’m crying because you’re in that cage, and only mean rats go in there.’”
>”The rat told Kimmy that the other mice were mean to him, and that they never wanted to talk to him or be around him.”
>”You stopped looking out the window and turned to Sunny again.
>”But Kimmy told the rat that he was wrong, she told him that he had become blind.”
>”The rat asked Kimmy if he could just come back and live with her again; he asked her if things could be like they used to.”
>”Kimmy said no, and the rat said, ‘if I’m going to miserable wherever I am, then I’d rather be miserable with other rats.’”
>”’if I do it that way, then at least I won’t feel different. I won’t be different.’”
>”Kimmy picked up the rat and held him close to her, she said, ‘but you will be. You are different from the rats in that cage, and the place where you belong is with the mice.’”
>”’Because the rats in that cage are all mean, and you’re not mean, you’re my rat, no matter where you may go.”
>”’And I know that my rat is the kindest, loyalist, most generous and honest rat in the whole wide world. You were just too scared of your differences to show it.’”
>Sunny stopped; the mare ruffled her sister’s mane, “I never should’ve doubted you, Sunny.”
>The sun was gone now, and the lights in the train came on.
>”Kimmy took the rat back to the mice cage, and told him not to be scared of who he was.”
>”She told him to be the rat she knew he could be.”
>”It was still scary for the rat though, even though Kimmy was with him this time, he was still scared that they wouldn’t like him.”
>”When Kimmy put the rat back in the mice cage all the mice avoided him again.”
>”The rat looked at the food bowl and noticed that it was full, but none of the mice would touch it; he knew why.”
>”The rat went over to the bowl, he grabbed a pellet, and he approached the smallest mouse in the cage.”
>”The little mouse was scared of him, but the rat handed him the pellet and smiled.”
>”The little mouse took the pellet, and the rat told him, ‘I know I’m a lot bigger than you, and I might look scary, but I still want to be your friend.’”
>”The little mouse broke the pellet and gave half of it to the rat,” Sunny looked at you and smiled, “and the rat knew he would be happy in his new home.”
>Sunny and the mare both looked at you expectantly.
“Well,” you said enthusiastically, “I think you did a really good job Sunny.”
>Sunny let out a happy squeal and pointed at her sister, “See, I told you I read all the time. I told you I could do it.”
>The mare smiled, “well I guess I was wrong Sunny. Only a good reader would be able to remember all of that.”
>”So I guess that does mean you read all the time,” the mare began to chortle, “you big nerd!”
>Sunny’s eyes widened and her face became flushed as her sister laughed.
>Sunny went to the seat her sister was in and tried to fight her, but she was too small to actually damage the mare.
>”Take it back! Take it Back!” She yelled repeatedly, “I’m not a nerd, you better take it back!”
>In between laughter the mare wheezed out, “I can’t help it Sunny. I love you too much to not tease you.”

>After Sunny and her sister reconciled Sunny came back to your seat.
>She asked you lots of questions about the book, and you did your best to answer them.
>You pulled out your notepad and made a couple of sketches of the rat for her to have.
>You also gave her a piece of paper with an address on it, and told her that if she ever wanted to write to you she should feel free to do so.
>She promised she would.
>Sunny’s eyelids grew heavier as time passed, and she eventually crawled next to her sister and yawned.
>She didn’t say goodbye, and it was like she had become a part of your life.
>Then there was silence for a while; all of the passengers were asleep except for you.
>At least, that’s what you thought.
>”Hey, Anonymous,” the mare called.
>You looked and saw the back of the mare’s head.
>Peering over her seat, you saw Sunny was snoring and resting her head resting on the mare’s shoulder.
You grin, “Looks like you’re trapped there.”
>She gave a short laugh, “I’m used to it. I wanted to ask you a question now that my sis is asleep. Do you mind?”
“Nope, ask away.”
>”How did my sis really do? I mean, did she get your book down to a detail?”
>You knew the answer but still thought about her question for a bit.
“Yeah, I mean, she got most of the important stuff anyway.”
>The mare nodded, “I’m glad then.”
You quickly thought of something to say, “Yeah, she’s a pretty smart kid.”
>”Yeah she is,” the mare looked down at her sister, “she’s just a bit lazy.”
>Nothing was said for a little bit.
>The train still had a ways to go to get to Ponyville.
>”I’m a little embarrassed,” the mare let out a quick and nervous laugh, “I wanted to be facing you when I said this, but if I move I’ll wake Sunny.”
“Not a problem,” you say confidently.
>You get up and move to the seat in front of the sisters, and you peer over the seat to face the mare.
>Just looking at her feels humbling to you; her eyes are half lidded and her smile is calm while Sunny snores, her mouth agape with drool escaping onto the mare’s forearm.
>You were a bit confused; you had no idea what this mare wanted to say to you so badly.
>But, you’re glad you saw her like this.
You rest your cheek on your fist, “I’m all ears.”
>The mare blushed and looked away; then she thanked you.
>Her eyes met yours and she breathed in, “my sister is a very bright young filly, but she’s not a good student.”
>She frowned, “her grades were really suffering this year. She was barely making it, and I was scared she might slip up and have to repeat a grade.”
>”I met with her teacher, and she told me that Sunny needed to get a very good grade on her final report in school.”
>The mare looked down at her sister and it made her smile return, “Sunny had to ace her end of the year book report.”
>”I was ecstatic. Sunny may struggle with some subjects, but reading came naturally to her. I was sure that I didn’t have to worry about her grades anymore.”
>Her face grew solemn, “but I was wrong,” she shook her head and exhaled.
>“Whenever I asked Sunny how her report was coming along, she’d always just say ‘fine’, or she’d try to change the subject and ignore my questions.”
>”I knew she wasn’t doing her report, so one day I told her exactly that. It didn’t end well; we ended up getting into a big fight.
>”It was stupid looking back on it, I should’ve tried to help her, but instead I just yelled at her like she was still my little sister.”
>”Then,” she paused, “then, she said something I’ll never forget. She said, ‘I hate you! Stop trying to be like dad!’.”
>”Our dad used to read to her,” the mare looked out the window and you did the same, and you both noticed that the first couple of stars had formed in the night.
>”Things started to become a lot clearer once she said that to me,” you both turned to face each other, “but I still didn’t know what to do.”
>”I went to her room later that night. She was in bed, and I think she’d been crying.”
>”I woke her up and told her I’d leave my job early tomorrow so I could come home and help her. I told her that we would do her report together.”
>”She was so happy when I said that, even though she was half asleep she still had a big smile on her face. I was so glad; I thought I’d done the right thing.”
>She sighed, “But I didn’t. It was the last day I had to help, and I asked my boss if I could leave early.”
>The mare stopped and her gaze stayed at the floor.
You felt a bit of pain in your heart, “it didn’t happen.”
>The mare’s tone became low, “I was so angry. I tried to reason with her, I tried bargaining, but I couldn’t sway her.”
>”I bitterly worked all day, knowing that I’d let Sunny down just made everything worse.”
>The mare flashed a small smile, “then, at the end of the day, I ran into my boss on my way out.”
>She gave a little subdued laugh and then sighed, “I hated that job anyway.”
>”I got home at eight like I usually did.  None of the lights were on; I went upstairs and saw Sunny sleeping in bed.”
>”Her room was so dark; she didn’t even have her nightlight on,” the mare began to stroke her sister’s mane, “I thought that’d be the lowest I’d ever felt.”
>”But then I went downstairs and looked at our living room table. There was a stack of books on it; along with a pencil and some paper.”
>”She was all ready for me, and I wasn’t there. I went to clean up and saw something was written on the paper, she wrote ‘I don’t need your help’.”
>The mare paused and you both looked down; you could hear the motion of the train.
>Your seat squeaked as you rocked a bit to get some feeling back in your legs.
>You both looked back at each other.
>She smiled and you did the same, “thanks for listening to me, I’m almost done.”
You averted your gaze and began to pick at a stain on the seat, “take your time. I’m still all ears.”
>The mare cleared her throat, “my heart broke when I read what she wrote. I wasn’t sure how I could make things better.”
>”I ended up doing something,” she bit the bottom of her lip, “I’m not really proud of what I’m about to say.”
>”I picked one of the books off the stack, and I read it,” her voice grew lower, “I wrote her assignment for her.”
>The mare peeked up at you, but you offered no judgment.
>You felt you knew her better than that.
>”It was such a dumb thing to do,” the mare spoke like she was talking about somepony else, “it wouldn’t have fixed a thing.”
>”I should’ve known better. But that was the worst part of it; As if letting down Sunny wasn’t bad enough, I had to go and let myself down too.”
>The mare looked at you and you didn’t dare turn away, “and that’s something that’s never forgiven; that never goes away.”
>”Sunny ignored me the next morning. I told her why I was late and how sorry I was, but she wasn’t listening.”
>”So I handed her what I wrote and told her to turn it in. I told her one more time I was sorry, and that I didn’t want her to fail.”
>”Sunny didn’t really look at me or the paper more than once before she left for school that day.”
>The mare shrugged, “I ended up taking a nap. When I woke up it was almost one in the afternoon, so I jumped out of bed and got ready to go out.”
>She giggled, “She really is my sister you know.”
>”The book report I wrote for her was in the trash can; Sunny tore it in half.”
>”I went about my day anyway. I figured there was nothing more I could do, and I also needed to hurry up and find a new job.”
>”Wound up getting home late, no luck. When I opened the door I saw Sunny sitting on the couch in the living room.”
>”I asked her how things went, and then she surprised me. She got up and gave me hug, didn’t say a word, just gave me a big hug.”
>”It stunned me a bit, I was sure she’d be sulking in her room when I got back, but there she was in the living room, waiting for me to come home so she could give me a hug.”
>”She started crying. She said she didn’t want to fight anymore; she said she didn’t mean what she said about dad.”
>”Then she told me how awful she felt when she got to school that day without a report to turn in. And she just kept crying after that.”
>”I wasn’t sure what to say; I just held her for a while.”
>At that moment you could feel her words.
>”We talked about it later, and she told me she did a quick report on a random book in the library before class began.”
>”She said the book was about being kind to those we may be angry at, and it made her sad when she thought about how she’d been acting recently.”
>”She ended up getting a good grade on her report, and she apologized for ignoring me and fighting with me for such a long time.”
>”Things are better for us now. I found a job that doesn’t keep me out so late, and Sunny and I are spending a lot more time together.”
>”I’m still learning though, still trying to figure out the best way to raise her.”
>”But sometimes...” she trailed off and her voice carried doubt, “sometimes I don’t know.”
>The mare stopped and her eyes wandered as if her thoughts had become desperate.
>There was a pressure in your chest when you looked at her.
>You wanted to help her.
“My mom always knew what to say,” you paused and briefly considered stopping, but you couldn’t.
“I was raised by a wonderful pony, but sometimes I doubted her, sometimes I didn’t believe she was my mother.”
“Then she told me something that never made me doubt again, she told me that if somepony loves somepony else more than anything else in the world.”
You smiled, “Then that pony is definitely their mother, and nothing else matters.”
“I always just thought that applied to me, but now I know better.”
>Sunny was smiling in her sleep now and you wondered what she was dreaming about.
>”I want to thank you, Anonymous.”
You raised an eyebrow, “for what exactly?”
>”Well, I believe that your book helped my sister, and I don’t just mean with her book report, but with her feelings as well.”
>”Sunny is always gonna miss her dad, and reading is probably always gonna make her think about him.”
>”That night when I held her, she asked if I could read to her before bed.”
>”We both picked a book, and when I got started, that’s when she told me everything.”
>”She told me all about how reading made her think about dad, and how she didn’t want to do that cause it just made her upset.”
>”She wanted me to start reading to her instead, cause she said that that way she would be able to think about me when she read.”
>”So we read together that night, sometimes I read a page, sometimes she read a page, we both ended up having a good time.”
>”Then when we finished the book she asked me if I still missed dad,” the mare sighed, “and we’ve been doing that every night now.”
>”Reading to each other, and learning a little something about each other we might not have known before.”
>The mare slowly leaned over and tenderly kissed her daughters forehead, “every night.”
“So,” you said inquisitively, “you think my book helped your sister open up?”
>The mare nodded and you sighed.
“Look, that’s really flattering, but I’d like to say something.”
You took a deep breath, “I’m not too sure my book did much in the grand scheme of things.”
“Sunny has probably always enjoyed reading, right?” The mare nodded.
“Well I think Sunny deserves the credit here, not me. I mean, my book may have taught her a lesson about kindness in the harshest of times.”
You paused and thought a bit, “but, the thing about lessons is, this is what I think anyway, most lessons don’t really change ponies overnight.”
“What I mean is; if a pony already believes something, but they hear it again through something else, then that lesson will stick.”
You looked at Sunny, “I think that desire to read again was always there. It just needed time to bloom.”
“I think her maturity in apologizing to you that night is admirable. She’s a great kid,” you smiled at the mare and started to grow a bit embarrassed.
“My book didn’t teach her that. She always was.”
You nervously scratched your back, “I know it really isn’t my place to ask this of you, but do you think you could promise me something?”
>The mare chuckled, “I’m all ears, Anonymous.”
Your hands began to sweat, “please keep reading to her. My story isn’t going to help her in the long run; it’s the other stories that matter.”
“It’s the stories you share that are special,” you let out a sigh as the train pulls into a familiar station.
>The mare looked at you with empathy, “I promise Anonymous.”
“Thank you for sharing your story with me,” you said as you got out of your seat.
>The mare waved and you both said goodbye.
>Before exiting you looked back one last time at your new friends.
>The mare was holding Sunny closely.
>They were both smiling.
>The chill air cooled down your warm body.
>There was a hollow thud with every step you took on the wooden station platform.
>Before leaving, you turned around and watched the train roll past you.
>You walked to the end of the platform and stared until the train disappeared.
>There was a silence, except for the wind which created a gentle howl and caused a couple of rusty hinges to squeak.
>You stretched your legs before walking away.
>Ponyville was quiet.
>The stars had become numerous now.

pt. 2: http://pastebin.com/ABFqFkxp