Magical Burst 1.6 (Par's)

Dorothy walks the streets alone, late afternoon now turning into evening.  She knows that she should be heading home, but she just doesn’t feel like returning to “normalcy” at the moment.  She enjoys being alone as much as she despises it.  Being alone means you have nobody to give you a kind word of encouragement… but at least it means there’s no one around to put you down, either.  It’s this double-edged philosophy and ones like it that have made Dorothy the girl she is today.  For better or for worse.

She walks around the block at no quick pace, constantly shaking her head and thinking about what Diana told her, as well as all the things she didn’t.  It’s maddening to her, the number of holes in the explanation…

“I mean… HOW?!” she asks herself, bewildered.  “How can you just…  say yes to something like that?  Some kinda something or other about ‘demons’ and ‘magic’ and ‘wishes’, no clarity whatsoever…  It’s like getting into the back of a van because the guy says there’s candy inside!  You’re gonna believe that thing what turned my hands in…”  Dorothy trails off, that incident in the bathroom still weighing heavily on her mind, an ever-reoccurring testament of how REAL this all actually is.  All hope of shaking the REALITY of this away as a hallucination is gone.  There’s too much proof now.  She shudders at the thought even now, however.  It’s real yes…  which means it’s all the more suspect, all the more dangerous.

One street turns into another, which turns into another, the sidewalk lamps flickering on though there’s still plenty of fading sunlight.  Dorothy thinks herself around and around in circles, looking at the situation from every angle and never coming up with any new epiphanies.  She’s been offered a life of magic… no, it’s a life of war WITH magic…  why was she even offered it in the first place...  no, that doesn’t matter; an offer is an offer… no, it does matter, there must be a reason… she doesn’t know if she can believe anything the frog-thing said… no, she has to believe it because there’s no reason not to… no, she can’t believe it because there’s no proof yet that “demons” are doing anything…  if she says yes she’ll have good friends… no, just because they all have magic doesn’t mean they’d be friends… no, it does matter because she’d have someone to talk to… maybe she should ask if she can just try it out for a day… no, there’s no way it would allow that, it’d be stupid to ask… she should follow Diana around and see what it’s like… no, that’s wrong; she doesn’t want anyone to be a guinea pig for her… no, it doesn’t matter because she made her choice already, it wouldn’t hurt… no, it would, because what if the demons attack her...

“Dorry?  Hey Dorry, hey, over here girl!   Yoo hoo~!”

A familiar voice from one of the nearby houses catches Dorothy’s attention and breaks her out of her trance.  She looks towards a porch across the street and notices a smiling girl waving at her from the railing.  The failing light makes it difficult to see at first, but soon Dorothy recognizes the face of one Christina White, a bubby and airheaded girl who’s shared almost all of her classes for the last two years.  An example of the classic “cute cheerleader” look, her tight jeans and tank top show off an attractive and athletic body, blonde hair tied up in two braids in preparation for her hairstyle the next day.  Despite the glaring disparity in their personalities, their constant proximity mixed with countless small-group assignments has made the pair what might be referred to as some sort of friends.  Christi’s straightforward attitude is hardly Dorothy’s favorite in the world, but there’s a strange sort of sincerity about it that gives her a measure of comfort.  If only a measure.

“Hey, dch’ya get my text girlfriend?” Christi asks.

“Oh, uhh, n-no, I-uhh, I guess I didn’t,” Dorothy responds with some difficulty, trying to return herself back to the real world again.  “I forgot to charge my phone again today.”

“Aaaoohhhh…  Well, no prob, ‘cause you’re here anyways!  Look, can you, like, help me with the Geometry homework?  We’ve got pizzaaa~!”

Dorothy looks down the street in the direction of her house for a moment, unsure of whether or not she’s in the mood to “deal” with this right now.  It’s so strange, how small schoolwork feels standing next to big questions like magic and war.  She’ll probably be so distracted by it that she’ll end up doing Christi more harm than good…

“Uhh, s-sure, I can, I can do that.  I mean, uhh, I haven’t really, y’know, started it either, so—“

“That’s great, we can do it together!” Christi interrupts gleefully, heading for the door.  “Come on in!  You want supreme or pepperoni?”

“I, I don’t, really care… either is fine…”

Dorothy enters the familiar house, being told she doesn’t have to worry about taking off her shoes, like she hasn’t been told at least thirty times before.  She’s always felt awkward inside other people’s houses, and the added clutter from a family of six doesn’t help the feeling.  She wonders if it’s because it’s a reminder of how small her family is compared to others…

Amidst a backdrop of microwave pizza, posters of pop groups, and a bunch of girly accessories Dorothy has never found much use for herself, the pair relaxes in Christina’s room, butchering their way through their geometry assignment.  Though Dorothy’s never gotten better than a flat B in math, Christina is borderline incorrigible and needs all the help she can get.  Much to Dorothy’s frustration her attention wanders quickly and progress slows as she talks of other, unrelated things.

“Hey, d’ya ever wonder if, like, pizza’s bad for you?”

Dorothy looks up quizzically at Christina from her triangle proof, the latter girl staring intently at the almost-empty pizza box.  “Not… really?  I mean I, don’t really know all that much about food.”

Christina wobbles her head, thinking.  “Cause like, it’s got all that grease and carbs and stuff, but then they serve it all the time at school, so like, it can’t be that bad or they wouldn’t serve it, right?”

“I, I guess?  The school serves a lot of things.”

“Yeah…  Bet it’s all gonna go to my hips or my ass or something; that’s what they all say.  Too bad it tastes so good.  Still, some guys like a big ass~”

Dorothy tries to keep her eyes on her assignment, hiding from the rather embarrassing comment.  “I, uhh, I wouldn’t know.  I don’t really pay attention to all that.  School’s complicated enough as it is.”

“Oh come on, Dorrrry, lighten up~!” The cheerleader wiggles over closer to Dorothy on the carpet, giving her a playful one-armed hug.  “You’re always so gloomy!  With a rack like that I bet you’d get any guy you’d want if you tried~  Why you always gotta wear those stupid sweaters, anyways?  Come on, show ‘em off a little~!”

As Christina tries to roll up Dorothy’s bulky sweater over her chest, the reluctant girl pushes herself away, blushing and hiding her face.  She’d be lying to herself if she said her breasts weren’t above-average size for a girl her age, but she’s never considered it much of a bonus.  Exemplifying her appearance would only draw more attention to her, and by proxy, her long list of flaws and mediocrities in every OTHER part of her life.  Besides, it’s not like she WORKED to get her chest to that size, it just sort of… happened.  Not much of a personal victory in her opinion.

Christina chases Dorothy around the floor for a while longer, scattering their homework materials in all directions, before finally giving up and resting against a beanbag.  She starts observing her own chest through her shapely camisole, and sighs.  “Wish my hooters were as big as yours, Dorry; feel like they haven’t grown a bit for months.  I’d look so cute in my cheer outfit if they were~  Hey, hey, how come YOU don’t try out for cheer?”

Dorothy’s taken aback by the sudden question.  “Me?  Oh, no, I, I wouldn’t be very good I bet…  I’m not all that cheerful, you know that.”

Christi continues to encourage her.  “You could learn!  Come on, it’s, like, not hard at all!  All you gotta do is look good, and if you’d just take those old grandma clothes off you’d be all set!”

“I, uhh… well, but, no, it’s just, I’m, I’m just not that energetic, I couldn’t…  Cheerleading just isn’t for me, Christi.  N-no, offense, I mean, I think you’re great at it!”

Christina beams at the shallow compliment and shrugs.  “Well, suit yourself, girl.  But, like, I’m tellin’ ya, you gotta get involved, live a little!  You aren’t in anything right now, are you?”

“Well, I’m uhh, in the, the Literature club…”

“Laaaammme.  I mean like a REAL thing, a thing that does stuff!  You’re always saying how you don’t do this, don’t know that, y’know?  I swear you’re gonna turn into like a crazy cat lady or something.”

Dorothy feels slightly hurt by the comment, less from any effort on Christina’s and more because she sees the inadvertent truth behind it.  Not doing anything, not knowing anything, living alone in a house by herself…  A grim look at her future to be sure, when one looks at it with those words.  But isn’t that what most people end up doing anyways?  A normal 9-to-5 job, just living out an average life and making ends meet while going to the movies on the weekends?  Average isn’t so bad.  At least average is something you can count on.  Something safe and secure.  After all, you only get one life.  Risking it could only screw you up even worse…

“Heeey, hellloooo~”  Christina waves her hand in front of Dorothy’s face.  “You there?  Oooo, thinking about some secret secret~?  Oh, oh, you gotta boyfriend?!  C’mon, tell me tell me!  You can tell me, Christi, you know?  Remember how I told you about that one guy?  You totally owe me!”

Dorothy waves Chrsti’s hand away like a fly.  “H-hey, come on, stop it!  I don’t have a boyfriend, it’s nothing like that!”

“It’s gotta be SOMT’IN, that’s your I’m-worried-about-some-sad-secret-stuff face!  Cooomme oooonnn, plleeaaase~?”

There’s no stopping Christina when it comes to possible girly secrets; one of the disadvantages Dorothy’s found about hanging around with her.  She doesn’t mind it all THAT much; the girl is too full of her own life to do much with the mild secrets she’s been privy to.  But THIS secret…?

“I’ve just been… thinking, a lot, lately, is all.”

“Abooouuut~?”

Dorothy hesitates, choosing her words very, very carefully.  “I guess, there’s…  well, it’s, gah, how do I explain it…  I guess it’s like SORT of a club.”

“Ooo, you gonna tell me which one?”  Christina inches closer to Dorothy, now all ears.

“I, don’t really know how to… explain it, really.  But it’s… it’s special.  Really, really, special.  But also, like… really, really dangerous.”

Christi screws up her face.  “Wha?  Dangerous?  You, like, talking about the army?  You’re gonna go join the army, Dorry?”

“No, no no, it’s not… it’s nothing like that…” Dorothy stutters, realizing quickly just how much it actually IS like that.  “It’s…  Well, like, you know how something like, uhh, like, skydiving?  It’s, it’s not a skydiving club, by the way.  But skydiving, it’s really dangerous, but it’s not like ACTUALLY dangerous, get it?  I guess it’s… sort of like that.”

From the semi-vacant look on Christina’s face, Dorothy can tell she barely understands what she’s telling her; no surprise considering she doesn’t understand it much herself.  The fact that she has to disguise it with a sugar-coated example only makes it worse.  Maybe trying to tell someone about this without ACTUALLY telling them wasn’t the best idea…

“So, you’re, like, in like this Special Secret Danger Club, or whatever—“

“N-no, no, I’m not in it yet,” Dorothy interrupts, before Christina draws all the wrong conclusions.  “That’s the point.  I don’t know if I should join or not.”

Christina leans back and puffs out her cheeks, sighing.  “Ahh, sweetheart, how come you gotta keep a secret even when you’re telling it?  What’s the big deal, anyways?”

“I just…  I don’t, feel, like, comfortable talking about it.  It’s weird, I just…  I don’t know…”

“Well, like, do you WANNA join the whatever-it-is club?”

“I… I, guess, so…?”

The cheerleader tosses a hand up unconcernedly.  “Then just JOIN already, geez!  You always gotta make hell out of everything, Dorry, can’t you just DO things?  I mean, like… seriously, sweetie.”

Dorothy rebuts, having a not-so-strange feeling that she’s heard this before…  “It’s, it’s not that simple, Christi.  There’s a… well there’s a lot to this club, a lot of unknowns.  It’s really complicated; they said that I really wouldn’t find out until AFTER I joined.”

“Mmm, sounds like fun~  It’ll be a surprise!”

“It’s…  Christi, surprises don’t work like that in real life.  It’s not like Christmas.  What if I don’t LIKE all the stuff they’re not telling me?”

“Ohmahgod, Dorry, who CARES?  Just have fun with it!  You, like, you’re always saying no to everything!  When’s the last time you said yes to anything, mmm, mmm?”

“I…  Well, I, uhh, I said I’d help you with your geometry, I, I guess…  But that’s different.”

Christina rolls her eyes and tosses a pillow at Dorothy.  “Uggh, you’re hopeless, girlfriend.  You’re never gonna get any action with an attitude like that~”

“…What does that have to do with anything?” Dorothy replies, raising an eyebrow skeptically.  “We’re only sixteen.”

“Hey, sixteen’s old enough~” she retorts innocently, before adding after a few moments, “but, y’know, don’t tell my dad that.  He’d get pissed.”

For a time, both the girls remain silent, Christina distractedly looking at her nails and Dorothy wondering what, if anything, she should say back to her.  Eventually Dorothy speaks up again, trying to clarify the situation.

“It’s like…  I know I’d probably have fun with it, Christi, it’s just, I don’t want to have fun if it means doing something dangerous.  I just want something, safer, I guess, maybe something more normal.  Just, normal fun.”

Christina shrugs, replying non-abashedly.  “Well, like, all you do is bitch about normal all the time anyways, so I dunno if that leaves a whole lot of fun left.”

Dorothy is about to express how rude it was to say that out loud, but as usual, holds herself back.  She knows Christi’s prone to just blurting out whatever’s on her mind, so she doesn’t really feel like it’s right to hold it against her.  Besides… she makes a good point, whether she meant to or not.

The conversation has a rather sobering effect on the pair of girls, and they return to their geometry homework for a while longer.  Christina remains distracted as usual, and Dorothy’s no longer in much of a mood for it, so when she finally leaves neither of them have a complete assignment in their backpacks.  It’s well into the evening now, and what stars there might be in the sky are obscured by the lights and trees of the city.  Once again, Dorothy’s gloom creeps up on her, with nothing else to distract it.

She just wants normal fun… but all she does is bitch about normal anyways.  Harsh… but it’s true.  She knows it’s true.  She’s always finding fault with this activity, that activity, telling herself all these problems that won’t make it enjoyable.  But is it wrong to think like that?  Nothing’s perfect in life, and everyone always says to err on the safe side of caution.  She has to face reality, after all.  She’s sixteen; before long she’ll be graduating, having to go to college or get a job somewhere.  You can’t be a kid forever, and the sooner you grow up the better prepared you’ll be to face the rest of your life.  How long will something stupid like a cheerleading squad or a skydiving club last anyways?  One year, two years, compared to a life of eighty?  Dorothy shakes her head.  Pointless.  It’s all just so pointless.

She thinks about the frog thing’s proposal again.  Magic… using magic to fight demons.  Very, very special; an opportunity unlike anything else she will ever find in the world.  Very, very dangerous; going to war untrained against an enemy you know nothing about.  All she does is bitch about “normal”, but she’s too afraid of the alternative if “fun” means “dangerous”.  Can’t have one… can’t have the other...

“Just do it, Dorothy…” she whispers to herself, trying to egg herself on despite the futility of such an action.  “Just jump.  They’re all telling you to do it.  Even Christi’s telling you to do it.  Just jump.  Leap of faith.  You did it all the time when you were a kid.  Band, gymnastics, drama club…  why can’t you do that anymore?  What happened to you, Dorry?  Look at yourself.  You’re worthless.  If you don’t jump you might as well just jump off a bridge, ‘cause you’re sure not doing anything else useful with your life…”

She looks around the neighborhood, as if expecting to magically find a bridge nearby.  None appear, to the relief of her subconscious well-being, though it seems only to reassure her of how uneventful her life really is.  She sighs as she keeps walking home, none of it feeling any closer to being resolved than it was that afternoon in the mall.  Too untalented to excel in the real world.  Too scared to excel in the magical world.  And too childish to let go of either.