Shining Armor Hates Anon - Chapter Seven

>Air rushes through your hair, whistling in your ears and punctuated by the thuds of your heavy steps.  Memories of sunny days spent barefoot on a broiling blacktop, accompanied by the tinkling laughter of your friends, rumble just beneath your conscious mind.  Your lungs strain in the most delightful fashion as you pump your arms and legs all the harder, as though running towards the past.
>Humid mornings, when the very act of stepping outside would bind your shirt to your skin and cool clear nights, where the air tasted just a little bet fresher and cleaner than any other time.  Each step brings those thoughts closer into focus, you can nearly see their faces now.
>“Turn here.”
>The breathless gasp of your companion snaps you back to reality.  Grunting, you shore up your steps and back hard before stretching back out to a lengthy stride.  The Princess pony beside you is flush with exhilaration, quite a feat considering her pink coat.
>You’re not quite sure if it’s worth the effort to be running, but once she started you were unable to stop.  From the kitchen, through the vacant dining room and now to the halls, the excitement is welcome and invigorating.
>Through the halls you dash, as though Cerberus himself were nipping at your heels.  Her delighted giggles massage your ears, spurring you forward.  Ponies yelp and scatter as they catch sight of you.  There are a few unlucky ones who don’t notice you in time, however.
“Look out!”
>You roar, shortening your stride enough to bob and weave through a group of five diplomats.  They wail and screech in displeasure, especially the final one.


>An enormously round unicorn pony, he gapes as you and Cadence approach, scooting his rump back against the wall.  Because of his largeness, there is still only a little bit of room left towards his snout.  Your charge gives you a small smirk and places herself on a direct course to take that route.
>With a short heaving exhale, Cadence rockets by you, intent on beating you to the punch, forcing you to run behind her.  There’s only one problem with her plan.  You’re not ready to get beaten.
>The obvious route is out, that’s for certain.  Despite your ability to keep up with her, when she pours on the speed you will fall behind.  Over short distances, the ponies are going to smoke you every time.  Cutting her off is out of the question.  That’s fine; you’re not out of options yet.
>Hanging low to the ground, the unicorn’s belly quivers a little as he realizes that you’re still charging straight at him.  In an attempt to protect himself, he squishes his hindquarters further against the wall, giving Cadence more room, and making your attempt to get by him that much harder.
>His distended stomach is now a foot or so from the floor.  Sliding under him now would be next to impossible.  That arched back however, you could clear that.
>With a terrified cry, the unicorn flinches, closing his eyes as you continue on your collision course.  A mad grin slips across your face as you pull your legs under you just before the crash and propel your body, hands first, over the squealing stallion.



>Bracing yourself against the floor with your hands, you feel them collapse against your body as they make contact with the stone, rolling into the fall.  The stone chills your neck and lower back, and you’re quite sure one of the seams rips in your shirt.
>But then you’re back on your feet, hurtling forward alongside the Princess.  Across her soft purple eyes, a mixed look of delight and wonder dances, glistening with a gemstone like quality.  The unicorns are frustrated, sputtering and shouting after the two of you but you don’t care.  At this moment, you have Cadence, and that is all that matters.
>Her hooves clop heavily against the ground, as do your own boots in a relentless rush forward.  The steps, when they appeared, are cleared in a single stride, two at most.  Until you arrive at the spire.
>Cadence pauses for a moment to catch her breath, and you do the same.  Through heavy wheezing, she shakes her head and smiles up at you.
>“I”
>Coughing, she takes a deep breath and tries again
>“I would have thought you to be slower, with only two legs.”
>Sparing her a grin, you lean your forearm against the wall and quiver with quiet laughter.  Collecting yourself, you push yourself back to a standing position and shake your head.
“I had a lot of practice running back home.  I imagine the height has something to do with it too.”
>With a laugh, Cadence nods towards the stairs, and begins climbing them at a much more relaxed pace.  The change is a welcome one as you fall in behind her.



>The Princesses, in general, are built vastly different than other ponies in Equestria.  Certainly, the presence of both wings and a horn bears mentioning, but structurally, they are notably abnormal.  Long, lengthy legs, a core that is nearly perfect in its lines, lacking the swell and curve given by the belly, but still ending with large, strong flanks.  The same flanks that are, once again, going through deep, swaying motions in front of you.
>Keeping your eyes upwards won’t help you now as you’ll only catch more of an eyeful of her prominent posterior.  Instead, you fall back a few steps more and keep your eyes low to the ground, watching her hooves as she trots up the stairs.  As her breathing steadies, Cadence begins to speak again.
>“I apologize for making you go through this.  Though, I must say it’s the most fun that I’ve had with Prince Blueblood in ages.”
“I suppose he wasn’t always so tightly wound up?”
>“At one time he was quite, pleasant.  Pompous and self-entitled, but he had a courage about him, as the young do, I suppose.  He had dreams of adventure, saving damsels and coming back to Canterlot as a hero.”
>At last you reach a landing.  Though the stairs continue to circle up higher, there is a small door off to the side.  The wood is worn and tired, quite unlike most of the varnished wood in the castle.  Cadence chuckles, covering her mouth with her hoof.
>“The young Prince was insufferable then too, but at least he was endearing while doing it.  Door, please?”



>Moving in front of the Princess, you give the handle a firm shove.  Cadence gives a small giggle as it refuses to move and you throw your weight into it and make a smidge of progress.  It’s heavy, designed to keep inquisitive ponies out.  But, by the command of your charge, you struggle and push your way into the room, wood screeching against stone the whole while.
>Turning your back to the door, you collapse for a moment’s respite, while Cadence makes her way into the room, horn aglow with a soft whitish-blue light, a small orb of light in the darkness.  Shadows flee before her, the sphere illuminating bookshelves and tables, then passing again into the depths as she passes.
>A few dozen paces in the Princess pauses, glancing left and right before closing her eyes.  Her horn explodes with a flash of light, bathing the entire area in its warmth.  Though it blinded you, your vision returns quickly and provides you with a better view of the room.
>While windowless, it has many lanterns scattered about.  Books line dozens of shelves, though there are only a handful of tables compared to the study you were trapped in earlier.  In the center of the room is an ornate carpet, stitched with various designs you can’t place, as well as the few odd symbols that you can.  You make your way in for a closer look.
>“This is the meditation chamber, a place for study, training and perhaps most importantly of all…”
>Behind you, the door glows blue for a moment, and then slams shut with a resounding thud.  Jerking your head back at the sound, you turn quickly back to the Princess, who seems quite pleased with herself.
>“It’s private.”



“So it would appear.  If I may ask, why didn’t you open the door yourself in the first place?”
>With a smile, Cadence nods to several of the lanterns.  A brief flare from her horn and they glow with a soft blue light.
>“I do find some delight in making you sweat, Guardspony.”
“I’m not sure that bodes well for our future relationship.”
>“Not for you at least.”
>With a wry smile, Cadence’s horn glows again, removing her crown and placing it upon the nearby table.  Taking a few steps, she positions herself on one side of the rug then nods across to the other.
>“Sit with me a while, Anonymous.”
>The worries of formal speech seem to ease a little as you fulfill her request.  The rug is firm, providing only slightly more give than the stone beneath it, though it is much warmer.  Your eyes linger on the symbols as you cross your legs in front of you, earning a smile from Cadence.
>“It’s in surprisingly good condition for something so old.  The first Court Mage of Equestria, Clover the Clever, brought it with her when she left her homeland.”
“That’s actually really impressive, being over a thousand years old.  So what, it makes magic stronger?  It opens the ‘inner eye’ and helps accelerate learning?  Or does it ward off evil?”
>Cadence smirks and raises an eyebrow.
>“No, it’s just a nice looking centerpiece.  I also think it’s more comfortable than standing in place.”
>Despite the removal of her crown, Cadence still has quite a proper seated posture.  Haunches against the floor, forehooves resting between her thighs and a smooth incline from the top of the spine to the base.
“That would make sense.  Other than hiding out until our pursers lose interest, why here?”



>“I was hoping, you might tell me a little more about yourself.”
>Your first instinct is to tense up, but that would give it away.  Instead, you lift your hand, waving it in the most nonchalant manner possible.
“I’m sure I told you everything interesting while we were on the train.  I led a rather boring life back home.”
>Those plum-purple eyes fix themselves on yours, and a disapproving frown crosses the Princess’ face.  Despite her expression, she wears it as well as she does a smile.
>“You told me well enough about your world, but very little in regards to yourself.”
“What does it matter?  I lived a decent enough life back home, but now I’m more interested in my life here.”
>“Maybe I’d just like to get to know you better?  You’re interesting to me, that is part of why I requested you for my personal guard.  Besides, you can’t ignore where you come from, it helped make you who you are.”
>True enough, but remembering was hard.  Painful.  Your chest tightens as more recent memories bubble to the surface.  Friends and family, long gone, and a woman you would never see again.
>“You’re hurting.”
“Is it that obvious?”
>Your eyes snap back to hers as you sigh.  It would be easier to forget about the past than to face it, but from the gleam in Cadence’s eyes, that’s not going to happen.  Squirming in place, you scratch the side of your face and try to figure a way out of this.  Best to try the obtuse guilt route.
“I lost a lot when I came to Equestria.  I didn’t arrive here by choice, so there are people back home that I’ll never get to see each other again.  It’s a hard pill to swallow, so I prefer not to think about it.”



>Rather than make her feel bad about asking, that only piques Cadence’s interest further.  She smiles a little, leaning forward expectantly.
>“So, you had a lot of dear friends?  Maybe a large family?”
>A concerned look spreads across her face as she tilts her head slightly to the left.
>“Perhaps, a lover?”
>Oh boy, now you’ve got her attention.  Sighing, you give a half-hearted shrug, trying to again impress upon this pony the simple fact that you have no desire to talk about this.  Cadence responds by getting to her hooves, moving half a dozen steps closer, and sitting down again.
“What does it matter?  That life’s behind me now.”
>“It matters because I’ve been very up front with you about my position.  Likewise, I’d appreciate it if you would confide in me.”
“All right, fine.  My family’s normal, more or less, I have a good number of friends and I’ve had a few women that I’ve been intimate with.”
>“Selling your life a little bit short, aren’t you?  Details, Anonymous, I want details.”
>Placing your fingers along your eyebrow, you give a heavy sigh.  Shining Armor did have a point about her being insistent on having her own way.  A quick peek reveals an expectant Cadence leaning in ever closer, smiling all the more.
“All right, I guess I could tell you a story.”
>She squeals, in a most un-Princessly way, wiggling in place as her eyes widen.  Clearing your throat with a sigh, you begin.
“It was three, almost four months ago now.  It was dark, save for the stars and moon.  The ground was coated with a fresh dusting of white when I pulled myself from a snow bank.  Considering it was late spring back on Earth, I knew immediately that something was wrong.  So, I pulled my”



>Cadence, who had once been so interested in your story, frowns a little when you mention Earth and the difference in seasons.  Before you can get into the story, she holds up her hoof to silence you.
“Wait.  Wait, wait, wait.”
>You oblige by going silent.  As her leg ceases it’s back and forth movements, she squints at you, a frustrated crease appearing between her eyes.
>“I wanted you to tell me about your life, not about Equestria.”
“That’s just it, Princess.  You wanted to know more about me, and I’m telling you that.”
>“But you’re telling me about my world.  I don’t need stories about my world, Anonymous, I want to hear about yours, where trains move without rails and you fly without wings.  Given a choice between hearing about a strange new world, and the one I live in every day, I’ll always choose the first.”
>A sly smile slithers across your face as you give a halfhearted shrug.
“I think it’s fair, after all, all of your stories have been about your life here in Equestria.  Maybe I want to hear about strange new worlds too.”
>Cadence stammers for a moment
“Bu-but…”
>then sighs in defeat, slouching and leaning back on her haunches.
>“Fine.  But sooner or later, you’re going to run out of stories about Canterlot, and then you have to tell me about your Earth.”
>Ignoring her sullen look, you chuckle and close your eyes, looking back over the past few months.
“Fair enough, if you’re around that long.  Now, where was I?”
>“Snow bank.”
“Right.  So I pulled myself out of the snow bank.  After checking myself over and deeming myself fit for travel, I spotted lights in the distance.  Without any idea where I was, I began walking towards them…”



>
>Shuddering in the cold, you stagger forward and tug your arms closer to your body.  Where ever this place was, you weren’t dressed for the weather.  Short sleeves and no jacket left you clutching your elbows with your hands, shivering to keep out the chill.
>Before you looms one of the strangest sights you’ve ever witnessed, a castle carved into a mountainside.  It stretches so high, you could almost swear that you could stand on top and touch the moon.  Below the palace faint lights glimmer in the sharp, brisk air, all the way down the mountainside.
>Stumbling through the frozen wasteland for a good half hour, you crest a hill and see a large wall surrounding the base of the mountain.  Torches flicker along the outside, and figures patrol the upper levels of the wall.
>It’s a lot to take in at once.  One minute you’re staring up at the wild blue yonder while the blacktop sizzles beneath you, people screaming and the next you’re freezing your tookus off in a medieval winter wonderland.  All the same, opaque white smoke curls up from your mouth as you cough.
“Any port in a storm, I guess.”
>With a deep breath, you pick up the pace and jog towards the wall.  With your destination in sight, traveling is easy and you even begin to warm up a little.  At least until one of the guards on the walls starts shouting at you.
>Some of the words sound familiar, but it’s quite unlike anything you’ve heard before.  Cupping your hands over your mouth, you shout back.
“I don’t understand!  Please, just let me in!”



>Another sharp cry from the top of the wall and still you can’t make heads or tails of it.  Scowling, you resume the march towards the stone barrier.  The whistling of something cutting through the air is enough to give you pause.
>As is the sudden pain that jerks across your cheek.  Forgetting the frigid temperature for a moment, you grab your face in your hands.  A slick wetness oozes between your fingers, then the pain hits.
>It’s not a deep gash, but enough to be uncomfortable.  Gritting your teeth, you figure that their intention is clear enough.  Stand your ground or the next one is going through your eye.  Without much of an alternative, you comply.  Ten minutes of shivering later, the front gates finally open and a small patrol comes out.
>And when you say small, you mean small with the tallest standing no higher than four feet.  Shot at by Pygmies, wonderful.  Knocking the chill out of your throat, you make another attempt at communication, speaking in a slow, clear voice.
“Excuse me.  Do any of you speak English?”
>Right as you finish speaking, one of the heavily armored guards gets close enough for you to get a good look at him.  And that’s when things get crazy.
>The first thing you notice is that all of the guards are quadrupeds and that their spears aren’t being held, but are instead hovering by their sides.  You tense up out of reflex, and one of the guards shouts, before a brilliant orange flash blinds you and a downward force begins exerting itself on your body.



>In three seconds you’re forced to your knees.  For an instant you feel immobilized, but then begin to thrash against it.  A cry of surprise comes from somewhere within the patrol as you pull your feet under you and begin to stand.  Then the pressure comes back, two, three times what it had been, and you collapse.
>Your hands bury themselves in the snow as you fight the force that seeks to drive you into the ground.  Sweat drips from your brow, making small tunnels as the drops burrow their way through the white.  Taking a steadying breath, you pushing yourself back to your knees and lift your head.  Ten large eyes gaze back at you in awe.
“You…”
>They flinch as you speak.  You shake your head, unbelieving of what you’re seeing under their helmets.
“You’re horses.”
>Forced to your knees by a bunch of little horses.  Colorful little horses at that!  Growling, you again try to climb to your feet, only to fall back into your resting position, wheezing in frustration.  The crunch of snow brings your attention back to the fore, just in time for a spear to thunk you between the eyes.





>
“And that is how I was introduced to Equestria.”
>Sometime between Cadence reluctantly agreeing to let you off the hook and you finishing your story, she had moved in close again.  Her mouth hangs slack, perfectly purple eyes wide as she holds her breath.  When you smile and lean back on your elbows, she scowls.
>“Well, what happened after that?  Where did you wake up?  Did the guards question you?  How did you overcome the language barrier?”
>With a laugh, you hold up your hand and shake your head.
“Princess, if I told you everything you wanted to know about me when you wanted to know it, how long do you think I would hold your interest?”
>Smirking, you lean in close to her and wink.
“I have my job security to worry about, after all.”
>The scowl lingers for a while before the corner of her lip curls up, just a touch, and then she laughs.  It’s an easy sound, one that you all too readily get caught up in and soon the two of you are shaking in delight.  After a few moments, Cadence collects herself and coughs into her hoof.
>“Well, I suppose I was wrong about Equestria not having any more interesting things going on.  Still, I would like to hear about your time on your own world.”
“It’s not a story I’m ready to tell, but all in good time, Princess.”
>“I’ll hold you to that, Guardspony.”
>Closing your eyes, you realize it’s been nearly two hours since you settled in to this windowless room with the Princess.  That should be enough time for the Prince to cool his hooves.  Focusing back on Cadence, you grin.
“So, think we should chance heading out?  Or would you prefer to stay in here a little while longer?”



>“Absolutely.  Spending the rest of the day in this tower is not exactly my idea of a good time.”
>Without giving it a second thought, Cadence climbs to her feet and tosses her head, sending her mane flying off to one side.  One pale purple eye stares out at you, the other shielded by her tri-color mane and she gives you a warm smile.  Chuckling, you push yourself to your feet and move towards the door.
>It proves to be just as difficult to open the second time, but you allow Cadence to have another laugh at your expense.  She trots by, giving you a small smile, her crown once again situated on her head.
>The trip down is easier than the one up, the two of you moving in comfortable silence until you hit the landing on the bottom floor.
“So, where are we headed next?”
>You ask, rounding the corner, only to be interrupted by a loud, self-important voice.
>“There you are!”
>Gritting your teeth, you suppress the growl so that it only rumbles in your chest.  There, along with four ponies from his contingent, is Prince Blueblood.  His mane has long since dried and seeming none the worse for wear, other than the burning distaste from his eyes.
>“Did you really think you could hide from me?  After what you did?”
>Scowling, Cadence curses under her breath and averts her eyes.  In an attempt to defuse the situation, you put on your best smile and approach the Prince, arms open.  Turns out that was a mistake.



>The feeling of steel against your tender neck is foreign.  One of the guards, a white unicorn clad in gold armor, sneers up at you, his horn alight with a soft purple power.  Just like the one surrounding his spear.  He gives a little nudge, and you feel the metal press a little deeper into your skin.
>“Blueblood, stop!”
>Cadence snaps, storming past you and towards her cousin.  The guardspony glares at you for a moment more, before the spear leave your neck and stretches out in front of the Princess.  It is quickly joined by another spear and the two weapons successfully thwarting her forward progress, though it does nothing to sate her anger.
>“Are you really that furious over a little water?”
>Indignant, the Prince moves forward, placing himself on the other side of the spear barrier.  His lip curls as he eyes his cousin.
>“The two of you ruined my good jacket and made me look a fool in front of the castle guard.”
>Cadence chuckles darkly, shaking her head and firing right back.
>“Please, like either of us would have to try and make you look like more of a fool.”
>“What exactly are you saying, Princess Cadence?”
>Being removed as you are from the conversation, it’s easy to see the bait.  The water was a blow to his pride, yes, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed.  You take a few quick steps towards Cadence, but as soon as you open your mouth to warn her, she fires off another shot.
>“You’re a self-centered, pompous buffoon!  No one has ever taken you seriously and no one ever will.  Any positive qualities you have are drowned out by the fact that you are the most despicable, despised pony in Canterlot!”



>Before you can take another step, and then Cadence launches a second volley.
>“The only thing that you’re good for is being used by gentleponies who want to get in good with royalty!  You’re a sham, Blueblood, and every time you open your mouth you shame the Royal Family!  So while you go and put on airs, living it up, just remember that there is nothing else for you here in Canterlot.  You will only ever be a fool of a prince!”
>Well, that was certainly something.  Cadence’s body quivers as she relents in her verbal assault, the occasional sharp jolt giving her form a twitch.  As she settles down, you can hear Prince Blueblood’s breathing deepen and accelerate.
>His pupils dilate and you can see him processing what she said again and again.  His frame begins to shake with rage, becoming more pronounced as his lips curl up into a vicious snarl.
>“Honor!  I demand a fight for my honor!”
>Cadence rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  If she could, she’d walk away, but the guards are intent in preventing that.  Her anger sated, she attempts to brush the Prince off.
>“Honestly Blueblood, are you really going to get this riled up?”
>“You have insulted me for the last time!  Accept the challenge or apologize.”
>If you’re going to stop this, now’s your last chance.  Clearing your throat, you walk up along side the Princess and give a wide smile.
“Now, I know this looks bad, but I’m sure”
>“Quiet worm!”
>The unicorn from earlier snaps at you.  As much as you try to fight it, the corner of your lip curls up you spit at the ground in front of him.  The other guardsponies gape as the spear wall falls apart and you feel the sharpness against your neck again.



>“There’s no way around this, it seems.”
>Blueblood purrs, his eyes settling on you and his attendant.  A smile graces his face as he turns back to his cousin.
>“One way or another, those two are going to be fighting.  Make it easy on yourself and accept the challenge.”
>Crap.  You’ve bitten off more than you can chew this time.  A Castle Guard with years of experience against a City yokel only three months on the job?  Not good.  Still, you have full confidence that Cadence will apologize, and then you can take a few hits and drop.  The guardspony will be satisfied and you can
>“All right, I accept.”
>Your body runs cold, a chill sliding up your spine and then to your extremities, making you go rigid.  The Prince sneers and eyes his cousin again.
>“Marvelous.  We meet in the gardens in one hour.  Come prepared.”
>The clip-clop of retreating hooves snaps the spell and you drop to a knee.  Cadence watches the five ponies go, before turning her attention to you.
>“Are you all right, Guardspony Anonymous?”
“Me?  I’m great, wonderful even.”
>A large knot works its way into your throat.  Despite several attempts to swallow, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
“Fantastic.”
>A quick glance over at Cadence does little for your hopes of selling the lie.  One eyebrow cocked, she sets her mouth in a straight line.  The mixture of concern and frustration on her face does loosen the tightness in your neck a little.



>“I only agreed to do it because it was going to happen.  Besides, I have full confidence in your abilities.”
“You’re too kind.”
>No, really, she was.  Once again you realize how out of your league you are in this job.  With a small nudge from Cadence, you’re back on your feet.  Well, if you’re going to have to fight, you may as well put on a show.
“I have to pick up some things from the quartermaster before the fight.  Care to accompany me?”
>Cadence’s stunning smile once again rouses your heart, the pressure in your throat disappearing as you walk towards the barracks, pink pony Princess at your side.  Maybe the fight won’t be so bad.
“So, what can you tell me about my competition, is he any good?”
>“He’s the most decorated unicorn in the Castle Guard after Shining Armor.”
>Giving you a sheepish smile, the Princess chuckles as your face drops.
>“It’s just an honor battle.  It will end whenever one of you yields.  If worse comes to worse, just yield.  I’m not too concerned as long as you make it look good.”
“Right.”
>One way or another, this Princess is going to be the death of you.  You can feel it.