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- >Wake up.
- >Where the hell...
- >Oh teh noes, alcohol and painkillers didn't work so well this time.
- >Get your ass the fuck up.
- >Grab what you assume is your bag.
- >Check what you have: 2 Lighters, some vodka, a machete (why is this not on my belt?), a few glow sticks, a water filter kit, and some... porn?
- >The fuck did I even do last night?
- >Did I go to a rave, kill someone inna woods, and jerk off afterwards?
- >Ahh shit, well it can't be too bad right?
- >Check self for injuries or items
- >Multi-cam Pants, simple Gray Sleeve-less shirt, your dog-tags, and your fucking glasses thank fuck (you blind motherfucker).
- >Get your shit together boy, and find somewhere good to sleep, maybe some goddamn food since you're starving.
- >Good idea me.
- >Barrel Roll until you reach a seemingly normal town
- >whatcouldpossiblygowrong.ASCII
- >Those aren't people... Ponies? Did I take acid now too?
- >itbegins.wav
- >Walk towards town cautiously with machete in hand in case of S.H.T.F. situation.
- >Finally reach town.
- >So far so good.
- >Ponies seem content with staring at me as if I'm a fucking alien.
- >Hey dick, you ARE an alien here.
- >Trippingballs.gif
- >Attempt to talk with one of the ponies.
- >Fear?
- >Nope.avi
- >Anger?
- >Nope.wmv
- >Calm discussion begins about where I am, and what this place even is.
- >Place: Equestria
- >ohboy-
- >Location: Ponyville
- >-herewego.png
- >Immediate reaction of relaxation.
- >Either I'm in a coma so I'm fucked, or I'm actually on a planet with ponies as the primary sentient life.
- >Ask if there is a house that I can spend some time in until I figure out what I'm going to do.
- >At first apologetically reject due to no room.
- >understandable.
- >Suddenly out-of-fucking-no-where.
- >Gray Pegasus with blonde mane and slightly off eyes.
- >Seems fine so far.
- >The Pegasus asks if I am new here and what I'm even doing here apparently so far from home (fucking hell, that's not even close to my level of fuck).
- >Asks if I have somewhere to stay.
- >Nope.avi
- >Offers for me to stay in her home (by now I've been told her name is Derpy and that she is, in fact, female.).
- >Accept and follow her home.
- >Comfy, yet small bed.
- >Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.tiff
- >Set my bag by the head of the bed.
- >Take off clothing to further inspect my condition.
- >Nothing wrong with me.
- >Suddenly a small Unicorn enters the room, presumably a family member of Derpy.
- >Say hello.
- >Receive hello and many questions.
- >Answer as best I can.
- >Cool so far.
- >Dinky is done asking 8999 questions.
- >She asks me how long I will be here.
- >No clue.
- >Not like I am in a rush to leave.
- >You LIKE it here.
- >You like the COMPANY here.
- >It's better than the DIEING world I was in.
- >She asks if it's alright to give you a hug.
- >Sure why not.
- >Dawwwmodeengage.jfif
- >Lasts a minute.
- >A single manly tear.
- >You put your pants back on (what? ponies never even wear clothes) and fix up your room to your style.
- >You go outside.
- >You look for a place to get something to eat and drink.
- >Simple carbonated drink and vegetables.
- >Good stuff man.
- >Go to the waters edge.
- >Lay down and relax.
- >Dazed and Confused starts playing in your head.
- >Feelsgoodman.png
- >Wake up.
- >The hell...
- >Oh right I'm in Ponyville.
- >Begin to get up and notice a weight on your left arm.
- >What is this feel.
- >Derpy laying there with her front hooves on your arm.
- >Dawwmode.jpg
- >Stroke her mane.
- >She opens her eyes enough to see you and she whispers to you.
- How did you sleep?
- >Just fine.
- >Glad I had some company.
- >She smiles and you both get up and walk back to her place.
- >Wake up in a bed.
- >Not the one Derpy gave you.
- >It's soft and warm.
- >Waitaminute.png
- >You remember when you last woke up with Derpy on your...
- >Yep, she's on your left arm again but also with a hoof on your chest.
- >You wrap your arm around her and nuzzle in soaking in her warmth.
- >She moans a bit and you can feel your leg getting damp.
- >Bro you should stop right nao.
- >shut up brain, I'm having fun.
- >No! She is making this too easy and so are you.
- >You nudge her awake and get up.
- >She asks if something is wrong.
- >No, just need some fresh air.
- >She smiles and sets her head back down to sleep a bit longer.
- >Feels like family man.
- >Feels right man.
- >You finish collecting your wits and shits.
- >You walk back in and lay next to Derpy until she wakes up.
- >All the while running your hand through her mane feeling every aspect of her to their full extent.
- >She wakes up roughly an hour into your treatment.
- >She smiles and asks you if she can give you a kiss.
- >Sure Derpy.
- >She gives you a nice long kiss and puts quite a bit of passion into it.
- >You break the kiss and ask her an important question.
- "So what do you think of me, the alien creature that you've allowed into your bed?"
- >She looks stunned for a moment.
- >She responds with a quick kiss and a very deliberate glance at Dinky at the other side of the bed, peacefully sleeping still.
- I would like to have a special somep0ny, someone who I can spend time with, and help take care of Dinky, If you want to, I mean, I wouldn't want to force you.
- >You smile and kiss her before wrapping her in a hug and responding with a simple "Yes".
- >She hugs you tighter and you can feel her crying with joy.
- >You know, for a fresh start, you didn't fuck this chance up.
- >Bravo nec/k/beard /k/ommando.
- >Bravo.
- The End.
- Your new friendly neighborhood Trip-Friend,
- Kitty-Pony
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