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Commander_Xillian

Warrior Snake and the Titanite Demon

Mar 22nd, 2013
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  1. Warrior Snake and the Titanite Demon
  2.  
  3. Few things bored Serpent Warrior more that having to guard this fucking bridge with the random ass scalloped axes. Seriously, why was he even there? Adventurers would carefully navigate them, before being zapped to death by that bodacious Sorceress, or they'd splint through and get knocked off. By a sharp object. Rather than impaled.
  4.  
  5. It, frankly, confused the shit out of Serpent Warrior. Wouldn't a pointy axe cleave rather than just knock around like a pinball flipper? All these questions and more were spawned by the oppressive boredom of his shift, made even more painful by the bodacious, sexy Shaman that sat up there, almost right above him, flicking her tongue up and down her curvaceous body...
  6.  
  7. There was a draft, for some reason, around his legs.
  8.  
  9. Looking down, Serpent Soldier saw his loin cloth was now a good five inches away from his body, straight out. Looking back up at the Shaman, he saw her gently flick her tongue, before looking back down.
  10.  
  11. Six inches now.
  12.  
  13. With a frustrated sigh, he shyly brought his shield up, pretending he was ready for anything to happen, hoping she didn't see the tent he had pitched. It didn't help that the monotony of the swinging, clinking axes was like nails on a chalk-board. If he had to endure this shit even one more second...
  14.  
  15. Looking down, the sight Serpent Soldier got was enough to send his loincloth flapping. He was looking down at three Shamans, bored out of their mind, and their bodies were right in his view.
  16.  
  17. "Fuck this shit" he thought to himself, looking around, "I can't do this shit anymore."
  18.  
  19. There, at the underpass, he would be out of sight. Sneaking under the bridge, he bit his lip, worried. He if anyone saw him... But Seath damn, sometimes a Man-Serpent needs to beat his one-eyed trouser-human. Tossing his loincloth over his shoulder, he looked around, wondering where to set his weapons. Dropping his shield carefully, and sliding his sword under the grip, he sat down on the edge and...
  20.  
  21. What was that noise? It was like a clinking-whirling sound. It was growing louder, too, which only increased his curiosity. Looking down, he didn't see anything down in the oil. With a grunt, he looked up just as he heard a high-pitched whine right next to him.
  22.  
  23. The elite knight in the cage looked at Serpent Soldier, frozen in place. Serpent Soldier stared back, petrified. Pants down, dong out, and unarmed, Serpent Soldier watched, dread and spaghetti in his gut, as the Elite Knight slowly closed the door to his cage and went back up into the ceiling.
  24.  
  25. Embarrassed out of his mind, Serpent Soldier gave a sorrow-filled grunt and let his back land on the path. Unfortunately, his head fell over the edge, and for some ungwynly reason, it was just as heavy as he was.
  26.  
  27. With a yelp of terror, Serpent Soldier fell from the bridge, hurtling past the Shaman Snakes, who watched him fly past in his birthday suit with his little soldier at attention, before slamming, dick-first, into the head of..
  28.  
  29. "Oh shit." Was all he could say, before he was rocketing through the air, hanging on to the wing-like crescent on the back of the Titanite Demon for dear life. With a bone-jarring impact. He hit the ground, looking up to see the Titanite demon raise its staff high.
  30.  
  31. Screaming in panic, he tried to roll away, only for it to grab him by the back. Pulled high, his screaming intensified as he knew exactly what about about to happen.
  32.  
  33. With a solid 'SMASH', he was slammed, boner first, into the granite floor, his scream of terror turning into the shrill screech of a Choir Boy. Everything else was inconsequential, and as he curled up into a little ball of pain, he was barely away of the Titanite demon dragging itself away.
  34.  
  35. And that's why that one Serpent Soldier in Sen's Funhouse isn't there every time!
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