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- import time
- import random
- print ""
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " ^^"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " ^^ .. .."
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " [] []"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " .:[]:_ ^^ ,:[]:."
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " .: :[]: :-. ,-: :[]: :."
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " .: : :[]: : :`._ ,.': : :[]: : :."
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " .: : : :[]: : : : :-._ _,-: : : : :[]: : : :."
- time.sleep(.1)
- print "_..: : : : :[]: : : : : : :-._________.-: : : : : : :[]: : : : :-"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print "_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:[]:_:_:_:_:_"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print "!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![]!!!!!!!!!!!"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print "^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^[]^^^^^^^^^^^"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " [] []"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " []Welcome to jump off a bridge simulator![]"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " [] (alpha 1.2.0)[]"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print " ~~^-~^_~^~/ \~^-~^~_~^-~_^~-^~_^~~-^~_~^~-~_~-^~_^/ \~^-~_~^-~"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print "~ _~~- ~^-^~-^~~- ^~_^-^~~_ -~^_ -~_-~~^- _~~_~-^_ ~^-^~~-_^-~ ~^"
- time.sleep(.1)
- print "jgs ~^ -_ ~^^ -_ ~ _ - _ ~^~- _~ -_ ~- _ ~^ _ - ~ ^- tu"
- time.sleep(1)
- print ""
- name = raw_input("What is your name? ")
- def Credits():
- print " "
- print "Chief Developer:"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "TheUzbekistan"
- time.sleep(.8)
- print " "
- print "Chief Debugger:"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "TheUzbekistan"
- time.sleep(.8)
- print " "
- print "Chief Port Master:"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "cforsythe"
- time.sleep(.8)
- print " "
- print "Assistant Port Master:"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "TheUzbekistan"
- time.sleep(.8)
- print " "
- print "Assistant Debugger:"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "cforysthe"
- time.sleep(.8)
- print " "
- print "Thanks for playing Jump Off a Bridge Simulator"
- time.sleep(.05)
- exit()
- def Gameover(end):
- if end == 'lose':
- print "you brake your neck on impact"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "it's alright " + name + " it happens."
- time.sleep(.05)
- elif end == 'win':
- print "you have become a living representation of divinity"
- time.sleep(.05)
- holy_name = raw_input('what shall we call our new holy leader: ')
- print 'all hail ' + holy_name + ' may you be eternally satisfied'
- time.sleep(.05)
- else:
- print "well umm.. we didn't expect that to happen"
- time.sleep(.05)
- def again():
- print " "
- again = raw_input("Would you like to play again(y/n)? ")
- if again == 'y':
- main()
- elif again == 'n':
- Credits()
- else:
- again()
- again()
- def Zombn():
- print "you have decided to stay dead"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "but this is not what fate had in store for you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Abraham Lincoln, in his over watching glory has chosen you, " + name + ", for a special task"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Your special task is to be his lead general in the unavoidable war over the realm of the living"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Lincoln brings you back to life as " + name + " the bringer of wet"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "The army you are put in charge of is made up off Billuminatird, or Illuminati birds"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Your foe is Santa Claus, attmpting to enslave all life with his army of the undead"
- time.sleep(.05)
- t = random.random()
- if t < .25:
- print "though a long fought war Santa Claus eventually succeeded in his plan"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "as proof of his power he makes an example of you by throwing you off the top of the Empire State Building"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- y = random.random()
- if y > .25:
- print "you did end up defeating Santa Claus but not without a great cost"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "your final battle took place on the top of the Empire State Building"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "you were only able to defeat Santa by jumping off the roof while holding onto him"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "you were able to completely defeat Santa Claus"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "because of you absolute victory Abraham Lincoln grants you the gift of eternal power"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('win')
- def Drowned():
- print " "
- zombie = raw_input('Would you like to call upon the powers of Santa Claus, lord of the undead(y/n)?')
- print " "
- if zombie == 'y':
- print "you have risen once more, now you shall be known as: "
- time.sleep(.05)
- print name + " the moist: the great zombie warlord. "
- time.sleep(.05)
- def Endworld():
- print "a side effect of gaining eternal life is your eternal slavery to Santa"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "as Santa's new second in command he informs you of his plan for the enslavement of all living things"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "he then instructs you to raise up an army of all the dead"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "before you were able to follow through with his orders Abraham Lincoln, along with his legions of Illuminati birds,aka Billuminatirds, descend from the heavens"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Abraham Lincoln gives you the ultimatum of either losing a war against his legions or fight with him to overthrow the evil Santa Claus"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Then you think to yourself that you may be able to take this opportunity to, not only kill Santa, but take his place as lord of the undead"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Fight1():
- yp = raw_input("who will you fight for? (santa/lincoln/myself)? ")
- print " "
- if yp == 'santa':
- t = random.random()
- if t > .25:
- print "you tell Abraham Lincoln that he will burn in the name of Santa Claus"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Though the war was long and filled with sorrow, with Santa at your back you defeated Lincoln"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "and enslaved the world"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "to celebrate your success Santa Claus has invited you to a party at the top of the Empire State Building"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "there when you were close to the edge of the balcony Santa stabs you in the back and pushes you over the edge"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "you tell Abraham Lincoln that he will burn in the name of Santa Claus"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "the war was long eventually Lincoln got the upper hand"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "after imprisoning Santa, Lincoln finally corners you on the top of the Empire State Building"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Lincoln: you should have joined me when you had the chance"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "after a short fight you both push each other out a window and plummet to the ground"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- elif yp == 'lincoln':
- print "you agree to the terms of Lincoln's arrangements and turn your forces on Santa"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Santa having only a quarter the combined strength of Lincoln and your armies did not stand a chance"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "after his defeat Santa went into hiding but you found him at the top floor of the Empire State Building"
- time.sleep(.05)
- t = random.random()
- if t < .25:
- print "you run at Santa Claus but he used his last remaining strength to teleport out of the way"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "you end up falling off the edge of the building and plummeting towards the ground"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "you run at Santa Claus and push him off the edge to his doom"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "as a result of this act Abraham Lincoln grants you the gift of eternal power"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('win')
- elif yp == 'myself':
- print "you agree to the terms of Lincoln's arrangements and turn your forces on Santa"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "but in secret you plan to betray Abraham Lincoln and rule over the Realm of the dead, the living, and the divine"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "after Santa Claus is defeated you talk to the Billuminatirds behind Lincoln's back and asks them to betray him the name of unity in the three realms"
- time.sleep(.05)
- t = random.random()
- if t < .5:
- print "they agree to side with you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "with the undead and the Billuminatirds by your side you defeat Lincoln and absorb his powers"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('win')
- else:
- print "they are offended that you would suggest such heresy"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "instead of joining your side they fly you up high in the sky and drop you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Lets try this again... "
- time.sleep(.05)
- Fight1()
- Fight1()
- Endworld()
- elif zombie == 'n':
- Zombn()
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Lets try this again... "
- time.sleep(.05)
- Drowned()
- def Wounded():
- print " "
- c = random.random()
- if c > .25:
- print "you swim to shore"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "as you're struggling to get yourself out of the water you're surprised to feel something pulling you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "it's a stray *generic-pet*!"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "luckily years of pokemon have taught you that any wild animal can instantly become your companion even a *generic-pet*"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- pet_name = raw_input("What will you name your *generic-pet*? ")
- print " "
- t = random.random()
- if t > .25:
- print pet_name + " has immediately become your friend"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "now with your new pet you decide how to spend your remaining time, being that your are still mortally wounded"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "you have only two things on your buck list you have yet to complete, skydiving and scuba diving"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Pet():
- diving = raw_input("which will it be(sky/scuba)? ")
- print " "
- if diving == 'sky':
- print "being that you only have moments left you live you decide to jump out of the plane without a parachute"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "as you fall to you death you look over at " + pet_name + " and see a very concerned *generic-pet*"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- elif diving == 'scuba':
- print "being that you only have moments to live, while deep under water you chose take off you scuba gear"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "you Drowned"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Drowned()
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print"Lets try this again..."
- time.sleep(.05)
- Pet()
- Pet()
- else:
- print pet_name + " suddenly changed its mind about being your friend"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "instead " + pet_name + " decides to launch you into the air and watch you fall"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "despite surviving the fall you don't make it to the shore in time"
- time.sleep(.05)
- def Wounded2():
- d = random.random()
- if d > .5:
- print "the current brings to the end of the world and you plunge over a waterfall"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print 'You Drowned'
- time.sleep(.05)
- Drowned()
- Wounded2()
- def Fly():
- fly = raw_input("will you migrate or chill(migrate/chill)?")
- print " "
- if fly == 'migrate':
- t = random.random()
- if t < .25:
- print "you tried your hardest you to keep up with your kind but a strong gust of wind"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "causes you to lose all your feathers and as you fell you could hear the cry of your people squack"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "your name, " + name + ", as they were unable to help you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "you made it to your new home!"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "now you have to make friends"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "There are some basic birds, quiet birds, and round birds"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Friends():
- friends = raw_input("which clique are you about(basic/quiet/round)?")
- print " "
- if friends == 'basic':
- print "These birds turn out to be very boring"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "so boring that one time when you were flying with them you fell asleep mid-flight"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "you immediately start falling toward the ground"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- elif friends == 'quiet':
- print "you introduce yourself to these birds but it turns out they are no ordinary birds"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "the quiet birds reveal that they are actually part of Billuminatird (the bird Illuminati) in league with Abraham Lincoln"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "in order to join the Billuminatird you have to survive the initiation process"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "the initiation process involves flying through the Gandhi pass, where the strong winds of Martin Luther King Jr kill the unworthy"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Decide():
- decide = raw_input("do you choose to attempt to fly the pass(y/n)? ")
- print " "
- if decide == 'y':
- yp = random.random()
- if yp > .5:
- print "you get half way through the pass and the wind causes one of your wings to fall off and you plummet to the ground"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "you successfully fly all the way through the gandhi pass"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "this makes you a member of the Billuminatird"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "then all of a sudden Abraham Lincoln descends from the heavens and says that you have been chosen"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Lincoln: " + name + " you have been chosen to join us in bliss and badassness"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('win')
- elif decide == 'n':
- print "the Billuminatird can't allow you the live while having knowledge of their identities"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "they peck off your wings then fly you up into the sky and drop you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Let's try this again..."
- time.sleep(.05)
- Decide()
- Decide()
- elif friends == 'round':
- print "The round birds turn out to be really quiet difficult to get along with for you"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "while they were fine just staying on the ground day, you wanted to fly"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " eventually you couldn't allow peer pressure to control you any longer and you decide to go for a flight"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "unfortunately there happened to be a storm happening at the same time as you act of defiance"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "the storm blinds your view and you run into a mountain"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover ('lose')
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Let's try this again..."
- time.sleep(.05)
- Friends()
- Friends()
- elif fly == 'chill':
- print "you decide to go back to the CSUMB since that's where it's happenin'"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "unfortunately, on your way over you get hit by a drone mid-flight"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "your wing breaks off and you fall to the ground"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Let's try this again..."
- time.sleep(.05)
- Fly()
- def Survive():
- b = random.random()
- if b < .5:
- print "becoming a bird"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Bird():
- Fly()
- Bird()
- else:
- print "becoming a stone"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Stone():
- print "thanks to your quick thinking you were able to survive hitting the water"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "unfortunately, as the old saying goes:"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "'once a stone always a stone'"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "as you sink to the bottom of the river you begin to regret becoming an inanimate object"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- def Call():
- call = raw_input("Will you call upon the powers of Canada to free you from your natural bonds(y/n)?")
- print " "
- if call == 'y':
- t = random.random()
- if t > 0.75:
- print "Canada has granted you your wishes"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('win')
- else:
- print "Canada has not found favor with you. In fact it has decided to forever curse the name of " + name
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Canada now grants you the gift of being human once more only to teleport you high in the sky and let you fall"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- elif call == 'n':
- print " "
- def Call2():
- call2 = raw_input("alright so if Canada is not good enough for you how about Finland(y/n)? ")
- print " "
- if call2 == 'y':
- print "Finland: Omg! no one ever choses me!"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Finland: I don't even know what to do now... "
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Finland: Umm.. you want be a living creature huh?"
- time.sleep(.05)
- t = random.random()
- if t > .25:
- print "Finland turned you into a *generic-pet*"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "you then swim to shore and notice a mortally wounded human trying to get onto shore too"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "your instinct as a *generic-pet* kicks in and you help him"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "This human then tries to name you 'Zeid'"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print " "
- pet = raw_input("Do you accept this name and become its pet or do you kill it for your own amusement(accept/kill)? ")
- print " "
- if pet == 'accept':
- print "now your human, being mortally wounded, takes you with him to go skydiving"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "unfortunately, you both jump out of the plane without parachutes"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- else:
- print "being that it has no right to try and claim you, you launch it up into the air and it breaks its neck on impact"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Finland: I save you from the stone lyfe and this is what you do with it?!"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Finland teleports you high in the sky and lets you fall"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('lose')
- elif call2 == 'n':
- print "without the powers of the great northern nations you are without hope"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "eventually you become very lonely, being the only sentient stone in the river"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "until you accidentally fall into a blackhole"
- time.sleep(.05)
- Gameover('watermelon')
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type?"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Let's try this again..."
- time.sleep(.05)
- Call2()
- Call2()
- else:
- print "Do you not know how to type??"
- time.sleep(.05)
- print "Let's try this again..."
- time.sleep(.05)
- Call()
- Call()
- Stone()
- def Jump():
- a = random.random()
- if a < 0.25:
- Gameover('lose')
- elif (a < 0.55) & (a > 0.25):
- print " "
- print 'You survived by:'
- time.sleep(.5)
- Survive()
- elif (a > 0.55) & (a <0.80):
- print " "
- print 'You have been mortally wounded'
- time.sleep(.5)
- Wounded()
- else:
- print " "
- print 'You Drowned'
- time.sleep(.5)
- Drowned()
- def No():
- a = random.random()
- if a < .50:
- print " "
- print "a racist dog pushes you off the bridge"
- time.sleep(.5)
- Jump()
- elif a > .75:
- print " "
- print "a gang of ninjas arrives and reminds you 'No is not an option if you want to find out your true destiny'"
- time.sleep(.5)
- main()
- else:
- print " "
- print "you suddenly realize that the developer is right beside you and you feel compelled to chose 'y' this time around"
- time.sleep(.5)
- main()
- def main():
- print " "
- question = raw_input('Would you like to jump(y/n)? ')
- if question == "y":
- Jump()
- elif question == "n":
- No()
- else:
- print "TU: That is not an option... yet"
- main()
- main()
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