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- >Sleep deprived as fuck.
- >Own two fluffy ponies, a colt and mare.
- >Jack and Sarah.
- >Jack spent all fucking night whining.
- >Couldn't shut him up, couldn't sleep.
- >Sunrise, you open up the safe room door.
- >Sarah bounces up an hugs your leg.
- >"Mornin' daddy! Fwuffy miss you!"
- >Jack blows you a rasberry from the litterbox.
- >"Go 'way, daddy!" He's angry? Seriously?
- "What the fuck is your problem, guy?"
- >Jack runs past your feet, out the door.
- >Runs aimlessly around the house. Spaz.
- >You pick up Sarah and hug her.
- >"You're such a good fluffy."
- >Sarah cheers. "Yay! Wuv daddy! Wuv huggies!"
- >Hear the newspaper hit the front door.
- >Put Sarah down and go to door.
- >"Daddy! Wan' go out!" Jack's humping your leg.
- >"Wan' go out! Wan' go out!"
- "No, Jack. Stay!"
- >"No s'ay! Wan' go out!"
- "Jack, I swear to fucking god."
- >You open the door to get the paper.
- >Jack bolts the second it's open, runs down your driveway and plays in the front yard.
- >Stare from door for a moment. Slam it shut.
- >You go eat breakfast, and give Sarah spaghetti for being such a well-behaved fluffy.
- >"Wuv you daddy!" she says between bites.
- "Love you too, sweety!"
- >It's an hour before Jack is trying to get back in.
- >"Daddy! Wet' fwuffy in! Fwuffy wan' bekfas!"
- >Ignore it. You play with Sarah all day while Jack whines like a bitch outside.
- >Decide he's learned his lesson by sunset.
- >Go outside for Jack. See his body floating in the neighbor's flower fountain...
- >Walk over and throw his corpse in the garbage. Only fair to your neighbor.
- >Come back in, feeling indifferent. Jack was a brat. Fluffies die all the time.
- >"Whew Jack daddy?" Sarah looks lonely.
- "Jack's gone, sweety."
- >"When Jack come back? Fwuffy haf babehs soon! Babehs wiw wan' daddy!"
- >You blink. Sarah has been getting really fat... Oh no.
- >"Daddy! Fwuffy wan' Jack! Pwese bwing Jack!" She's crying.
- >Can't stand to see such a well-behaved fluffy so sad.
- >Race down to fluffy shelter.
- >Buy a fluffy that looks identical to Jack.
- >Name him Jack on the car ride home.
- "Sarah! I brought Jack back!"
- >"New fwend?" New Jack cheers at Sarah.
- "No, Jack! It's Sarah! You've always known Sarah."
- >He's confused. So is Sarah.
- >"Dat.. Jack?" Sarah is sniffing him. "No Jack! No smew wight!"
- >You don't know why you thought this would work.
- "Whatever. New Jack will be a good daddy, sweety. I'm going to bed."
- >Finally. Sleep.
- >New Jack starts whining all night. FUCK.
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