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- Be Anon
- >In prison for getting into a fight with The Elements of Harmony
- >Apparently getting into a fight against The Elements is punishable by two months in prison
- >Beating them added an extra two week
- >You are escorted by 12 guards armed with cattle prods in their mouths
- >The unicorn guards hold extra ones with their magic
- >The entrance looks exactly like a hotel lobby
- >There's even a waiting area where you see others sitting
- >You can tell that their prisoners from the orange jumpsuits that they're wearing
- >Most of them are ponies, But there are a few other animals there too
- >There are also a few other creatures that you can't identify
- >Do they really trust these prisoners enough to let them sit that close to eachother?
- >The guards guide you to a reception desk where a visibly shaking mare is sitting
- >She doesn't say a word, she just hands you a black jumpsuit and a key
- >Wait, a key?
- >One of the guards motions you over to what looks like a changing room
- >You go inside and change into your jumpsuit
- >Wait, this thing has pockets?
- >Why would they trust a prisoner with pockets?!
- >You put the key in your pocket and walk out
- >As the guards escort you to your cell one of the prisoners in the waiting area points at you and yells
- >"B-b-b-b-b... Black suit!"
- >All the prisons go crazy, some running for the front door others trying to jump out the nearest window
- >Guards try to keep the prisoners in the lobby
- >"No, please don't leave me in the same prison with this guy!"
- >"All I did was leave a restaurant without paying, I don't deserve this."
- >"I want my mama, I want my mama!"
- >The guards are grabbing as many inmates as possible to try to calm them down
- >Hugging them
- >Rubbing their heads
- >Giving them...churros?
- >You haven't eaten since you were arrested
- >You turn to one of your escorts
- "You wouldn't happen to have any of those churro's would you?"
- >"They're for emergencies only."
- >You could take the churro from him, but he's got that cattle prod with him
- >...
- >You can't take it anymore
- >You're going to die of hunger!
- >Without thinking you run over to where all the other guards are
- "Get back here Anonymous!"
- >They're still trying to comfort some of the inmates but you don't care
- >You quickly grab as many churros from the guards belts as you can
- >The other inmates freak out seeing you so close to them and start trying to escape again
- >While stuffing your face with churros your escorts quickly run towards you shocking you with their cattle prods
- >They're a lot weaker than you expected
- >They kind of hurt but you don't care
- >You got your churros and that's what matters
- Be The Warden
- "The new inmate did what?"
- >"He attacked some of the guards in the lobby and ate their Emergency Use Churros Ma'am, he scarfed them down like some wild animal."
- "Oh my, it seems that he's going to need some serious rehabilitation!"
- >"If you ask me I think that's going to be impossible for him."
- >You gasp
- "Cookies, how could you say such a thing?"
- >"With all due respect ma'am, do you know why he's here?"
- >She hands you a manilla envelope
- >You open it and read the information on the new inmate
- >Apparently his name is "Anonymous"
- >He is of an unknown species, from looking at his photo you guess he's some sort of primate >It is unknown how he got to Equestria and he claims that he doesn't know how he got here either
- >He's in prison for...
- >Oh my
- >He fought The Elements or Harmony?!
- >And he won?!?!
- >"Ma'am, I'm sure that you can understand why I think there's no hope for him now."
- >You don't know what to say
- >"Well, um..."
- >Cookies goes through the folder and pulls out what appears to be an x-ray of a ponies hoof
- >And it appears to be broken
- >"That's the hoof of the element of honesty, Applejack, it was one of the many x-rays used as evidence against him during his trial."
- >Oh dear
- >Someone who could break the leg of a pony like Applejack must be dangerous
- >And did she say "many x-rays"?
- >This looks tough
- >But you were never one to back down from a challenge
- >All inmates can be rehabilitated!
- >That is what your grandmother Believed!
- >That is what your mother Believed!
- >And That is what you believe!
- "I'm sorry Cookies, but I can't imagine any inmate being without hope."
- >Cookies sighs
- >”I guess I just can't convince you ma'am.”
- >And with that she leaves your office
- Be Anon
- >You have a full belly
- >But at what cost?
- >This black jumpsuit seems like enough of a reason for the other prisoners to stay away from you
- >And that shit you pulled in the lobby only seemed to further cement your status as the most dangerous inmate in this prison
- >You bury your hands in your face
- "What did I ever do to deserve this?"
- >Suddenly there's a knock at your door
- "Who is it?"
- >"Guard."
- "Come in."
- >"I don't need permission, but thanks anyways."
- >The guard enters your room and...
- >God she's cute
- >You try to forget that you ever thought that
- "Hello, my name's Cookies n' Cream, everyone just calls me cookies."
- "My name's Anonymous, everyone just calls me Anon."
- >She sits down next to you with the same posture as a human
- >You never thought about it but that's kind of weird
- >"The Warden sent me here."
- "Why's that?"
- >"She thinks that there's still hope for you."
- "And you don't?"
- >"Well...no."
- >"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."
- >You say this in the most sarcastic voice you can make
- "Well you did get into a fight with the Elements of Harmony."
- "Is that what those six horses were called?"
- >"Ponies, we're ponies!"
- >Wow she sounded offended
- "Oh ok, sorry."
- >"Why did you get into a fight with them if you don't mind me asking?"
- >You don't see the point in explaining it to her, if the judge didn't care why would she?
- >On the other hand you could do it to make The Warden happy, she must be nice if she has hope for you
- >"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too."
- "No, I'll tell you."
- Be Anon in a flashback
- >One minute your driving home, the next minute you wake up in a new land laying your back
- >Were you unconscious?
- >For how long?
- >And where are you anyways, some kind of forest?
- >You get up and look around hoping to find a trail, unfortunately there doesn't seem to be one
- >Now what?
- >"Alright girls, that burst of energy came from somewhere around here."
- >You just heard someone, maybe they could help you
- >You run over to the source of the voice and find and find...
- >Horses?
- >Six colorful horses
- >One blue horse, once yellow horse, one white horse, one orange horse, one pink horse, and one purple horse
- >You stare at each other for a few seconds
- >You could have sworn you heard someone talking
- >"Fluttershy, do you know what that thing is?"
- >The blue one asks the yellow one
- >The blue one...
- >Asks...
- >Oh my god they can talk
- "Oh my god you, can talk!"
- >They all seem surprised by your sudden outburst
- >The yellow one speaks this time
- "Um, yes we can talk."
- "B-b-b-b-but horses can't talk!"
- >"Hey, we are not horses!"
- >The blue one flies up to you
- >Wait a minute
- >She has wings?!
- >"We are ponies, you got that, ponies."
- >She pokes your chest a few times accusingly
- >You look at the other ponies
- >The yellow one also has wings
- >The pink and orange ones seem to be the most normal looking of the group
- >But the white and purple ones have horns on their heads
- >In fact, the purple one also has wings
- >You swat the blue ponies hoof away and start running
- >"Ow, that hurt!"
- >She's flying after you
- >How can those wings even support her body?
- >She tackles you to the ground
- >You respond by punching her in the face
- >The purple one shoots something out of her horn, it hits you but it doesn't seem to do anything to you
- >The orange one pulls a lasso out of nowhere and tries to tie you up
- >It grabs you by the waist, but you just grab it and yank the rope forward and her along with it
- >And that's how you got into a fistfight with a bunch of ponies
- >Or would it be more of a hooffight?
- Be Cookies
- >You're speechless
- >Magic doesn't effect him?
- >No wonder the Elements lost, you've never heard of them having to resort to physical violence to take someone down
- >"And that's my story."
- >There's a moment of awkward silence
- >"You know what, it actually felt kind of good to tell someone what happened, thanks."
- "No problem Anonymous."
- >"Please, just call me Anon."
- "Alright then Anon, I think I should report back to the Warden now."
- >"Ok, bye."
- >He waves at you and you wave back
- >You walk out and head for the Warden's office
- Be Anon
- >That was nice
- >You didn't expect anyone to speak to you while you were in here
- >Cookies and The Warden seem to be the only friends you have right now
- >It looks like Cookies forgot to close the door
- >You get up to close it and make eye contact with another inmate walking through the hallway
- >He tries to make a run for it but ends up hitting a wall and falling down
- >You think about helping him up but as soon as he sees you move he gets back up and just runs to the other end of the hallway
- >You close the door, get back in bed, and try to sleep
- >Maybe you'd get to talk to Cookies again when you woke up
- Be Cookies
- >In the Wardens office
- "I just got done speaking with Anon ma'am."
- >"So how was he?"
- "He's certainly a lot nicer than I thought he'd be."
- >The Warden beams at you
- >"Perfect, then we can move on to our next step."
- >She pulls out pen and paper
- >Upon closer inspection it seems like a the paper is a form authorizing Anon to work in the prison
- "Ma'am, do you want Anon to get a job?"
- >"Yes, I think it would be a perfect place to start."
- >"Having Anon around others seems like a bad idea."
- >"How bad could it possibly be?"
- "He's a blacksuit, you know how all the other inmates view anyone in a black jumpsuit. They're all scared of him."
- >The Warden thinks for a second
- >"Hmm...maybe everyone would be more comfortable around him if he had a chaperone?"
- "That might work."
- >"Great, when can you start?"
- >Well this is a surprise
- "You want me to to be his chaperone?"
- >"Who else? You're probably his best friend in this entire prison."
- >She's got a point
- >Who knows, maybe this could work out just fine
- >"So anyway, here's what I think Anon should do."
- Be Anon
- >You're awoken by the sound of your alarm clock
- >Every cell has one
- >It's time for dinner
- >You get up from your bed and walk to the door
- >You hear voices outside
- >Other prisoners
- >You shouldn't leave yet
- >Just as you turn around someone opens your door for you
- >It's Cookies
- >"Hello Anon, I've got a proposition for you."
- "A proposition?"
- >"Yes, let's discuss it over dinner."
- "Isn't that a bad idea?"
- >"What makes you say that?"
- "Well, what about all the other prisoners outside?"
- >"Don't worry, they won't be as scared of you if you have me around."
- >There's a rumbling in your stomach
- "Can't you just bring my lunch to my cell?"
- >"Anon, you either come with to the mess hall or you go to bed hungry."
- >Your mind's telling you "no"
- >But your stomach is telling you "yes"
- Later
- >You're in the mess hall
- >Cookies agreed to get lunch for both of you while you waited at the table
- >In fact, here she comes now
- >It looks like she got the same thing for both of you
- >Spaghetti and meatballs
- >It sure is nice of them to give you meat in a mostly vegetarian society
- >there's parmesan cheese on the table
- >Remembering that there isn't anyone here to judge your diet you decide to cover your spaghetti with a thick coating of cheese
- >You've missed this taste so much
- >"So you like cheese?"
- >Oh look Cookies is back
- >You nod while slurping some of your noodles
- >In fact you almost finish your spaghetti while Cookies has barely started on hers
- >She must be a slow eater
- >That's kind of cute
- >Wait what?
- >Anyways
- >You decide to ask her about this "proposition" she has for you
- >But then you see something on your tray you hadn't noticed before
- >Chocolate pudding
- >The question burning a hole in the back of your mind can wait
- >You grab your spoon and open the lid
- >Before you start enjoying your dessert you notice that cookies doesn't have any pudding
- >Did she only get pudding for you?
- >Why would she only get pudding for you?
- >You think it over and realize
- >This can only mean one thing
- >Her "proposition" is going to suck major balls
- >You're worried
- >But you can't let it show
- >That would just make her feel nervous
- >You decide to just enjoy your pudding
- >Enjoy every last bite
- >Savor the taste
- >Take as long as possible
- >You may not be able to avoid the inevitable
- >But you can at least delay it
- >Which you do, for 20 seconds
- >That's the longest it's ever taken you to finish chocolate pudding
- >She's almost done with her spaghetti
- >Now that you think about it eating your pudding slowly didn't actually help at all
- >"That sure was nice. So Anon, here's what the Warden had in mind for you."
- >[Screaming internally]
- "She thinks that it would help if you got a job."
- >Well that's not something you expected to hear
- >You expected something along the lines of forced manual labor
- "What kind of job?"
- >"Well she wanted you to work in the kitchen."
- >This seemed nice
- >You remember your mother teaching you to cook, it was always so much fun for you.
- "I could do that."
- >She beams at you
- >"Great, we can start tomorrow."
- >We?
- "Are you going to be working with me?"
- >"The Warden and I decided that you'd need a chaperone."
- "Why would I need a chaperone?"
- >"Well, we figured it would just make things easier for you."
- >You think you understand what she means...
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