Lyrics - http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/avenueq/everyonesalittlebitracist.htm
Avenue Q Everyone's A Little Bit Racist - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMeU_szhZ6E
Instrumental - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3jf5uRAZTg

Cast:


Princeton - Anon
Kate Monster - Feminist
Gary Coleman - Developer
Brian: Journalist
Christmas Eve: Feminist 2


Anon: Hey, Feminist? Can I ask you a question?

Feminist: Sure!

Anon: You know /v/, upstairs?

Feminist: Uh-huh.

Anon: Well he loves video games, and you hate video games.

Feminist: Right.

Anon: You both feel strongly about vidya.

Feminst: Yeah.

Anon: Are you two related?

Feminist: What! Anon, I'm surprised at you. I find that sexist.

Anon: Oh, well I'm sorry! I was just asking?

Feminist: Well, it's a touchy subject. No, not all vidya is related. What are you trying to say huh, that this board is for everyone? Huh, huh, huh?

Anon: No, no, no, not at all! I'm sorry, I guess that was a little bit sexist.

Feminist: I should say so. You should check your privilege more when talking about things like video games.

Anon: Well, look who's talking!

Feminist: What do you mean?

Anon: What about that Tumblr site you're always on?

Feminist: What about it?

Anon: Well I'm thinking about taling vidya there

Feminist: No, CIS pig men aren't allo-

Anon: You see?! You're a little bit sexist

Feminist: Well, you're a little bit too.

Anon: I guess we're all a little bit sexist

Feminist: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do

Anon: But I guess its true

Feminist: Between me and you I think

Both: Everyone's a little bit sexist

Sometimes.

Doesn't mean we go

Around ruining others lives.

Look around and you will find

That no one's really scum all the time

Maybe it's a fact

We all should face

Everyone makes judgements

Based on rape


Anon: Now not big judgements, like who to hire or who to play vidya with -

Feminist: No!

Anon: No, just little judgements like thinking that journalists should stop hyping all these shitty AAA shooters!

Feminist: Right!


Both: Everyone's a little bit sexist

Today

So everyone's a little bit sexist,

Okay!

Dickwolves and such might be uncouth

But you laugh cause vidya's never been that smooth

Don't take bants as

personal attacks

Dickwolves are pretty funny

So relax!


Anon: Alright, stop me if you've heard this one.

Feminist: Okay!

Anon: So, there's a video game being made, and there's day one DLC. And there's an alien, a shitty kid...

Feminist: And three color-coded endings!

Developer: What're you saying Feminist?

Feminist: Uh...

Developer: You were making fun of revolutionary games weren't you!

Anon: Well, sure Dev, but a lot of people hate ME3.

Developer: I don't.

Anon: Well of course YOU don't, you worked on it! But I bet you hate Gone Home, right?

Developer: Well, sure I do. Those stupid lesbians!

Anon: Well, now don't you think that's a little bit sexist?

Developer: Well, damn. I guess you're right.


Feminist: You're a little bit sexist.

Developer: Well you're a little bit too.

Anon: We're all a little bit sexist.

Developer: I think that I would

have to agree with you.

Fem/Anon: We're glad you do.

Developer: It's sad but true!

Everyone's a little bit sexist -

All right?

Feminist: All right!

Anon: All right!

Developer: All right!

Bigotry has never been

Exclusively white


All:

If we all could just admit

That games and sex are irrelevant

Even though we all know

That it's true

Maybe it would help us

Not bait for (You)s!


Anon: Oh well, at least I'm not Anthony Burch!

Developer: Now there was a fine, upstanding developer!

Anon: Who?

Developer: Anthony Burch!

Feminist: But, Dev, Anthony was a sexist.

Developer: No, he saved Borderlands.

Feminist: No, he was a sexist.

Developer: No I'm pretty sure that he saved Borderla-

Anon: Guys, guys! Anthony Burch was...  a cuck!

*laughter*

Journalist: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?

Developer: Sexism!

Journalist: Cool!

Feminist 2: Journo! Come back here! You take out GamerGate!

Anon: What's that mean?

Journalist: Um, save the internet?

*laughter*


Hey, don't laugh at her!

How many times a day are you triggered?


Feminist 1: Come off it, Journo!

Everyone's a little bit sexist,

Journalist: I'm not!

Anon: oh no?

Journalist: Nope! How often have you white knighted

for naught?

Feminist 2: What? Journo!

Anon: Journo buddy where you been? You don't get chicks by shitpostin'!

Feminist 2: I know you aren't intending to be

But white knighting is -

 offensive to me


 Journo: I'm sorry Feminist, I love you.

 Feminist 2: You're a rapist.

 Journo: Yeah, you're sexist too.


 Feminist 2: Yes, I know.

The publishers have

money

and the devs make stuff

that's fun.

And I'm always left triggered

By whatever is on twitter!

Anon: You too?

Feminist: Me too!

Developer: I can't even USE twitter!

All:

    Everyone's a little bit sexist

    It's true!

    But everyone is just about as sexist

    As you!

    If we all could just admit

    That we are sexist a little bit,

    And everyone stopped being

    So PC

    Maybe we could live in -

    Harmony!

    Feminist 2: Everyone's reported to twitter!