Pone Be Good

>Be hanging out at home with your Rainbro, Flutters, and Princess Sperglord.
>Staring blankly at the wall and lightly petting the dozing Fluttershy in your lap, because not having T.V. or computer has negated the reason for your existence.
>Twilight and Dash are currently occupying themselves by digging through your box of swag shit from earth.
>You didn't tell them they could do this.
>They just have no concept of personal property.
>Hippy ass pones.
>"Hey Anon, what's this?"
>Looking over, you see her holding up an ordinary spray bottle.
...Seriously?
>She looks offended, like you're implying she's stupid.
>You are.
>Moving your gaze to Twilight for help taming this sudden onset retardedness, you get an inquisitive stare in return.
...
...Seriously?
>Your eyes roll back into your head, and you begin to convulse at the prospect of these pones being this technologically backwards, startling the Flutters in the process.
>You're going to die here, Anon.
>After your seizure from which you recover after multiple slaps in the face from your bro, you focus on the task at hand.
>Explaining what a spray bottle is.
It's my nig- I mean my pone be good bottle. I use it for correcting bad behavior in pones.
>Holding it at different angles for them to observe, they begin to look at the object in a new light.
>Twilight, with respect and a hint of fear.
>Dash like someone just told her that a spray bottle is a tool created to be used for correcting morally mis-aligned pones.
>Maybe she isn't so stupid.

>"I don't buy it, bro. There's no way somethi-
>You cut her off with a spritz to the face.
>She freezes with a look of disbelief on her face as the slight smell of vinegar begins to permeate the room.
>Fluttershy eeps quietly, displaying a submissive posture and folding her ears back.
>Didn't even have to use it on her and it worked.
>Dash mentally reboots and shoots you a dark glare, like you done just fucked up.
>"You... Did NOT JU-
>Giving her another spray, she backs up and starts rubbing her hooves along her face trying to dissipate the moisture.
>"NOT COOL ANON!"
>Hey, this is pretty fun. Her reaction is cute too.
>Fluttershy floats to her and begins fussing over her friend as Twilight walks up to examine the bottle more closely.
>"What did you spray her with? Is it dangerous?
Of course not. Well maybe, that bottle has been in there forever, and I don't know if vinegar goes bad or something.
>"Anonymous, I don't think I can allow you to keep something like that if you intend to use it on pones."
>She looks at you sternly, demanding you hand it over to her.
>lolno
That's adorable, Twilight.
>"I'm serious Anonymous! As Princess, I ord-
>Nice shot, you got it in her mouth.
>She hits the floor and begins scraping her tongue trying to remove the awful taste.
>"PTBBHT PTT PTT ANONYMOUS!
Come get, bitch.

>Out of the corner of your eye, you see a rainbow blur shoot towards you.
>You roll to the side and assume the classic crouching gun position as Dash glares at you from the spot you occupied seconds ago.
>Keeping both her and Twilight in your sights, you begin to back up slowly while cycling targets.
>Master chief ain't got shit on you.
>The pones advance on you while trying to look intimidating.
>You can shoot one, but you probably won't have time to get the other before they strike.
>"Anonymous, you can't beat us, just give it up."
>"Yeah, you've gone crazy with power!"
>Haha, you think you found a new fetish.
>Continuing to back up, you feel your rear bump into something.
>Something that squeaks and trembles with fear.
>You allow a smile to come to your face that freezes your adversaries into place.
I didn't want it to come to this. You should have just been good.
>Moving quickly, you perform a perfect back flip like a boss (clumsily stumble over the mare behind you) and grab Fluttershy who let's out another squeak.
>"P-P-Please don't h-hurt me..."
That's no longer my choice to make...
>Holding the bottle to the side of her head, you grin manically at the pones in front of you.
>They gasp in shock as their glare intensifies.
>"How could you do this to Fluttershy, she didn't do anything wrong!"
>"You'll let her go if you know what's good for you!"
That's where your wrong. I'm calling the shots now, and unless you want to see your pretty little friend with her mane all sticky and smelling funny, I suggest you slow your fucking roll.

>Seeing that you were dead serious, they back off.
Good, good... Now, I want 20mil in unmarked bits, and a chariot to Mexicolt. GET ON IT!!!
>Flutters flinches from you screaming by her ear, and the mares before you move lower to the ground with their ears splayed back.
>They look at you confusedly before whispering to each other.
>Twilight backs off and leaves your line of sight.
>For her friends sake, it better be to comply with your demands.
>Yeah, that's right, listen to the human with the bottle...
>Rainbow stays behind, trying to keep the tension out of the air.
>"Just... Just be cool man, this doesn't have to end in tears..."
Yeah, yeah, just get me the money.
>The stare down continues as you wait for Twilight to return.
>By this time your house smells like vinegar and urine.
...Oh god damnit Shy...
>"S-sorry...
>Suddenly a brilliant flash floods the room and Celestia is standing before you in all her majesty.
>"I came as quickly as I could, what's this about a ho-"
>She stops talking as the stream of vinegar water hits the side of her face.
>The room goes quiet, and all movement stops.
>The pones are gaping at you, probably wondering how you aren't on fire yet.
>Celestia slowly turns her head in your direction, an unreadable expression on her face.
Pone be good.
>They never found your remains.