Dear Princess Celestia: Letter 1

>Dear Princess Celestia,

>This world is a very strange place. Everyone's muzzle is flat and they have these weird dangling things on the forelegs. They call them hands, and they appear to use them in day to day life for almost everything. I don't get what was wrong with mouth and magic, but I guess they haven't advanced to that intellectual level yet. On another note, why do these creatures where cotton on them? Wouldn't it be better suited for beds? It can't possibly be comfortable to wear that all the time; I can hardly handle wearing it a few hours! Anyway, I've been extremely curious about the sexuality of these new creatures. My transformation to a female of their kind has apparently eliminated my estrus cycle, and my libido has been elevated as a result. I want to conduct experiments on this matter, but I've run into a problem. None of the creatures show their genitalia in public, thus it is borderline impossible to tell who's interested in who. I've seen plenty of stallions get aroused when me and the girls went out. It was embarrassing, sure, but it felt nice knowing someone was interested. The most I ever see out of the males is a bulge in their crotch, much like what happens to the Royal Guards' armor when the concubines move in. I have absolutely no idea how females react, as there appears to be no physical response. I can test that on myself, of course, and I'm much more interested in the males' responses anyway. I'm going to perform some tests to see how these creatures react to sexual stimuli. I will report these results in subsequent letters.

>You Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.