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- >Day 15 in Equestria
- >You are Anon
- >So are the other 2 guys sleeping in the same bed as you
- >Sort of
- >Getting torn from your world and forced into this one had some strange effects
- >Namely the two other Anons being brought into existence
- >You stare at the ceiling for a while and think about how weird your life has become
- >Look at the window to your bedroom
- >A flying horse wearing a mailbag flies into a tree
- >The sad part is that it's not the weirdest thing you've seen since you came here
- >Sigh
- >Sit up between the two Anons and crawl off the end of the bed
- >Look back at the other two, who are still snoozing
- >The bed is tiny, and you don't even need covers since you're all squeezed together for warmth
- >It's not that bad.
- >It's just two clones of you. So no one can judge you
- >Walk downstairs and eat cereal for about 10 minutes while staring blankly at a wall
- >Look at the clock
- >7:29
- >Here we go
- >7:30
- >The clock chimes once to signal a half-hour
- >There's a knock on the door
- >Aaaaand go
- >"IF THAT FUCKING PONY IS HERE AGAIN I'LL RIP IT'S SPINE OUT AND CHOKE IT WITH IT."
- >Hear a small "eep" from behind the door
- >Also hear the two Anons get up and walk downstairs
- >Go over to the door
- >Open it
- Hi Fluttershy
- >"H-hello Anon... Umm... Which one are you again?"
- I'm the normal one
- >Her ears perk up
- >"O-oh g-good. I was afraid I got the angry one again"
- 1/10
- Nah. It's good. What do you want this time?
- >Lean against the door and give her a flat look
- >"W-well I just wanted to know what umm..."
- Spit it out, Fluttershy. We've done this for 8 days in a row now.
- >"Do you think you could walk around n-naked today? The other ponies feel uncomfortable around you when you're w-wearing so many clothes..."
- That's bullshit and you know it.
- >She hides behind her mane
- >"Oh... Yeah, sorry..."
- Anything else?
- >"W-well"
- Cool
- >Slam the door
- >Fucking horse
- >Walk into the kitchen and see the other two Anons
- >The one eating your cereal looks up
- >"Did ya' kill her?"
- Nope.
- >"Pussy."
- >He goes back to eating
- >Look at the other one staring out the window
- >He turns and beams at you
- >"Isn't it absolutely beautiful today?"
- >God you look creepy when you smile that much
- Yeah, it's a nice day. So what's the plan for today?
- >"Murder."
- >"Reading!"
- >"Genocide."
- >"Baking?"
- >"Some other form of death that involves these disgusting animals"
- >"A picnic!"
- Those are all horrible ideas. I'm ashamed of both of you.
- >"We are you, dickwad"
- Whatever.
- >"Well, have you got any better ideas, grumpy?"
- >Think for a second
- Baking.
- >"But I sa-"
- At Sugarcube Corner
- >"That the place with that pink one?"
- Yeah.
- >"I'll kill her and fuck the corpse"
- Of course you will.
- 2/10
- >A few minutes later you're all walking down the road.
- >Silence between you three
- >Look to your left
- >The happy you is humming and walking with a bounce to his step
- >Look to your right
- >The angry you is kicking rocks at nearby animals
- Yeah. I think I know what I'm calling you two from now on. We can't go on being called "Anon"
- >"I don't know why we don't use our normal name! Andrew is such a lovely name, afterall"
- >"Fag"
- Fag.
- >He frowns
- >"Well what do you suggest
- >You point at him
- You're now called Happynon.
- >You pat the other one on the back
- And this grumpy fuck is called Angernon.
- >"Those are the worst fucking names i've ever heard. You're lucky you're as handsome as me or I would have dragged you behind that bush and throttled you."
- Yeah I think they're pretty good as well. What do you think, happy?
- >"I think they're lovely"
- >You all carry on walking and promptly fall down a pitfall
- 3/10
- >"WHAT THE FUCK"
- >"Oh gosh."
- Ahh shit.
- >You all look up at the culprit for this cruel prank
- >A familiar Yellow mare looks down at you sheepishly
- >"S-so is being in a giant pit your fetish?"
- >"HOW THE FUCK WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?"
- >She winces
- >"I umm.. I d-don't know..."
- >"WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL BREAK EVERYTHING YOU LOVE."
- >"E-everything?"
- >"EVERYTHING."
- >She *eeps* again and look at you
- >"D-do you like my hole, Anon? T-there's plenty more where it came from!"
- >She turns around and shows you all her rear
- Oh god why
- >"Oh fucking hell"
- >"That's revolting"
- >She faces you again
- >"Y-you don't like it?... Oh..."
- When you woke up this morning, what made you think that digging a massive pit in the middle of a road would be a good idea?
- >"I told you man, she's retarded"
- >"W-well, Anon. I thought you might swoon for me if you saw this pit... Maybe think 'wow! Fluttershy has done such a good job with this pit! I think i'll show her my... hot... dick...'"
- >She trails off and starts drooling
- >Happynon giggles at this
- >You and Angernon glare at him
- >"Oh, what? She can be adorable at times. Even if she is a little bit odd"
- >"I hate you so fucking much"
- >Happynon frowns
- >"Well we're going to be down here for a while, so I think you'd better get used to me."
- >"I AM you, you insipid shitstain."
- >"Well then I guess you just insulted yourself, silly!"
- >Angernon is taken aback and starts trying to blurt out a response
- >He fails, sits down, folds his arms and sulks
- Welp. I don't think this day could get any worse.
- 4/10
- >"Yoo hoo! Anon! I'm back now!"
- You left?
- >"Y-yes. And now, since you're all stuck here all day, I can guess your fetish!"
- >Angernon looks at you with glistening eyes
- >"Kill me."
- Later. Look, Fluttershy. Just get us out of here and I'll take you out to dinner or some shit like that.
- >She giggles at you
- >"Silly, I know you're lying to me! I have you just where I want you now! And nothing can take you away from me!"
- >Angernon starts crying
- >Happynon sighs
- >"Fluttershy, darling. Can't we work something out? I'd be happy to spend time with you if you wish. I'm identical to Anon here, I just have a nicer attitude. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
- >He looks at her with a desperate look on his face
- >She stares back with a dreamy look in her eye
- >"Oooh~ I'd like that very much... But you can do it once I'm done with you three"
- You're seriously going to keep us in a fucking pit all day? We need to eat you know.
- >"I'll bring you food"
- And we need to drink-
- >"And drinks"
- And we will obviously need to use the toilet-
- >"Dig a hole"
- We're in a hole.
- >"Another hole, silly"
- You're sick.
- >"Shush, Anon. Momma will make you want her by day's end"
- >Angernon stops crying
- >He glares up at her and points a finger
- >Opens his mouth
- >And begins a 30 minute scream-rant about the things he'll do to her after he gets out of the pit
- >Some of which you don't think are even possible
- >Especially the one about the Tea Leaves.
- >That one was just silly.
- >Sit down and listen to him scream
- >Happynon sits next to you and rests his head on your shoulders
- >It's not gay if it's you
- 5/10
- >The day goes on
- >Angernon screams
- >Happynon pleads
- >You reason
- >Fluttershy tries to guess your fetishes
- >"Tentacles?"
- >"DEAR FUCKING GOD NO MAKE THEM GO AWAY"
- >She mutters a few words and the hell rift in the middle of the pit floor closes, taking the lovecraftian horrors with it
- That was fuckin' crazy.
- >"Yes... It was quite, horrible..."
- >Poor Happynon. This is really taking a toll on him
- >You put an arm around his shoulders and give a reassuring squeeze
- >He smiles at you
- >Fluttershy sees this
- >"Oh! Are homosexual relationships your fetish, Anon?"
- IT'S NOT GAY IF IT'S ME
- >"Sure it isn't, faggot"
- Shut up, Angernon.
- >"Well umm... Just a second"
- >She runs off, leaving you three in silence
- How long have we been down here? Who has the watch?
- >Angernon pulls the watch you three share out of his pocket
- >"It's 5. We've been down here for nearly 8 fucking hours"
- God damn.
- >Happynon taps you on the shoulder
- >"Andrew... If we get out of here, I'd be happy to answer the door to Fluttershy in the morning from now on"
- >What a trooper
- That won't be necessary. I don't think we're going to make it out of this alive
- >"I hear that. I can't believe that bitch tried to feed us Hay. Doesn't she know what humans eat? Fuck i'm hungry"
- We all are, man. Keep it together
- 6/10
- >Angernon squirms
- What's up?
- >"I've sort of... Uhh, been holding it in all day"
- >Oh shit no.
- Ok. Relax, we'll dig a hole
- >"I'm not going in a fucking hole. Toilets are what separates us from the animals"
- Ponies have toilets you retard.
- >"Toilets and Opposable thumbs"
- Smartass
- >"I'm not shitting a hole, Anon."
- >"Y-you can shit on me... If you want..."
- >"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE"
- >Look up and see Fluttershy
- >She's got a lantern and a sleeping bag
- You must be fucking joking. I'm not spending a night in a pit
- >She smiles
- >"Well it's not like you're going anywhere. And neither am I so get comfortable"
- >She throws a few apples down
- >Happynon squeals
- >"Yes! Food!"
- >He chews his apple with a content look on his face
- >God that's cute
- >Fuck off, brain.
- >"Thank Christ for that, I'm starved"
- You sure you should eat anything, Angernon? You already need to go
- >"I'll hold it in. If I die of clogged up faecal matter in my rectum I'm blaming Banana Hush."
- >Happynon lowers his apple
- >"I was eating..."
- >"Suck it up, you pansy"
- >Look up at the heavens
- God, when did I wrong you so?
- 7/10
- >Fluttershy gasps
- >"I-I'VE GOT IT!"
- Again, how did I wrong you?
- >"Y-you three should all make out! Ohh I can't believe I didn't think of this until now!"
- >Angernon stares at her
- >"You what, mate?"
- >She clops her hooves excitedly
- >"If you all have gay sex right now in this pit, you're sure to love it! And then i'll love it! And then you'll love me!"
- >"Your logic is utterly fucked"
- And so will you if she has her way. Come on, guys. We need to get out of here.
- >"But how, Andrew?"
- Dunno. We'll think of something. Three minds are better than one.
- >"But what if it's all the same mind?"
- >Damn. That's surprisingly clever.
- >Smart and cute, you never even saw it in yourself-
- >FUCK YOU BRAIN
- >All three of you put your heads together and start planning so that Fluttershy can't hear
- >"A-are you all kissing down there? Please say yes..."
- >Surprisingly, Angernon has some pretty awesome ideas.
- >Digging hand and footholes in the walls of the pit
- >Standing on each other's shoulders
- >Digging a tunnel with the plates you have down here from the Hay meal you got
- >You nod your head approvingly
- Nice ideas, Angry.
- >"No problem. I just want to get out of here"
- >"I agree. I miss the sun on my face..."
- >Look at Happynon
- >You gotta get him out of here, even if you and Angrynon die. He doesn't deserve any of this.
- >You probably should have mentioned earlier, Angrynon and Happynon aren't just physical manifestations of your emotions. They ARE your emotions.
- >You are incapable of feeling happiness or anger since they came into being.
- >It makes having them around that much more enjoyable and useful, since they can channel your emotions when you can't.
- Ok. I think I have a plan.
- 8/10
- >You all wait until nightfall
- >Fluttershy bids you all goodnight and sweet dreams and goes off to sleep
- >After a while you hear her muttering in her sleep
- >"mmmm... three dicks at once..."
- >Fuckin' Horse.
- >You pull the other two in
- Ok. Lets move.
- >You all carefully break the 3 plates in half, creating 9 half pieces
- >They're made of porcelain, so it's a tough material.
- >You press them into the mud-walls of the pit and test them once they're far enough in
- >They can support your weight
- >Slowly and surely climb the wall, planting more foot/hand holds with the plates.
- >Eventually you climb out the top and beckon to the other two
- >Angernon climbs up there faster than a monkey and starts humping the ground when he gets out
- >Happynon is next
- >You hold out your hand and take his to help him up
- >His hands are so soft...
- >BRAIN. STOP.
- >Once you're all out there are high-fives and pats on the back all round
- >This wakes up Fluttershy
- >"o-OH! You're umm... Out..."
- Yeah. We are.
- >Angernon cracks his knuckles
- >"I'm gonna enjoy this"
- >Happynon holds him back
- >"Don't, we can settle this without violence..."
- >Angernon shrugs him off and walks up to Fluttershy
- >He grins maliciously at her
- >He forces her out the sleeping back and rips it to pieces
- >Once the cord that tightens the back is free, he uses it to bind Fluttershy's wings as hard as he can
- >"O-ouch... Please... That hurts!"
- >"Good."
- >He stands back and looks at her proudly
- >"There we are!"
- >And punts her into the pit
- 9/10
- >You can't help it
- >You laugh
- >You don't feel happy at all, but you just felt it was the right thing to do.
- Nice work, Angry.
- >He grins at you
- >"I'm pretty awesome aren't I?"
- Will she be ok?
- >"Oh yeah. I left her some... Food..."
- >You notice he looks more relaxed-
- >OH DEAR GOD
- >You grab the lantern and light up the pit with it
- >Fluttershy is lying in a pile of Angrypoop
- That's... Brilliant.
- >Angernon laughs
- >"Come on, I'm hungry. I wanna eat at that Sugarcube place. After this I feel like kissing that pink one. She'll be a welcome sight"
- Wow, really?
- >"Nah. If she looks at me i'll break her face. But I'm still pretty hungry"
- Time?
- >He looks at the watch
- >"11 o Clock. Think they'll still be open?"
- Only one way to find out.
- >You all head down the path into Ponyville, watching out for any giant holes
- >Angernon walks on ahead, fuelled by his hunger
- >You and Happynon walk side by side
- >Look at him in the moonlight
- >He smiles at you
- >"Thanks for getting us out, Andrew"
- >Put an arm round his shoulder and pull him in close
- >Feel his hand slide into your back pocket and stay there as you walk into town
- >Its not gay if it's you.
- 10/10
- THE END.
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