Happiness

>Why?
>You know why
>You know why this happened
>Lights are out and your on your couch lying
>She's gone...
>That's the only thing going on in your mind
>She's gone...
>It's on repeat and you can't stop it
>There's a knock at the door
>But you don't answer
>You just roll over on your couch
>She's gone...
>The knocking keeps getting louder with every second
>You still don't answer you just lie there staring at your couch cusion
>"Anon open up..."
>She's gone
>You wish you could hear her voice just one more time
>You finally get up from your couch
>But not to answer the door, it's shouting at you to open up
>Instead you lean over and stare
>Stare at the one picture you had of her and you
>...If only she would be here now
>In your arms, craddeling her, you'd hold forever, never letting go, making sure she'd be safe...
>"ANON OPEN THIS BUCKING DOOR!!"
>The voice on the other side is starting to annoy you
>You finally decide to open the door, only so the pony on the other side will leave you alone
>The door swings open and a cyan pegasus offers you a smile
>You brush it off and give her a cold "what?"
>She trys to keep a smile on to lighten your mood
>"I just wanted to say...it's a nice day and you should..."
"No" you say coldly cutting her off
>Before you close the door as gently as your can you hear her say the words everyp0ny has said over and over again
>"It's not your fault"
>You let out a chuckle
>You've heard it a million times, but you know that it was your fault
>Since you came to Ponyville you lived happiliy
>You had no regrets and no worries
>But now it's all changed
>Your blanketed with nothing but shame and guilt
>And it's heavy
>It makes your head sink lower than Gilda
>You feel your shoulder's tense up and freeze whenever you try to raise your head
>You return to your spot on your couch and stare down at the floor
>On the floor you can make out what seems like a pink bushel of cotton candy...
>You sigh and pull Pinkie out from under your couch
>"Hi!" she says in her happy way of greeting others
"What do you want?" you say in your flatest tone of voice
>She takes a deep breath but seems speechless
>She starts looking around the room for something to talk about
>She happend to look at the only picture you had of her and understood there was nothing to talk about
>She hangs her head down and looks at you
>You pat her on the head and she nuzzles your hand
>"It's not your fault, you know?"
>You just stare at her, lightly holding her cheek in the palm of your hand
>You lift her up and hug her
>She was surprised, but still returned the hug
>Feeling her hooves on your back reminded you of her
>You sobbed lightly in Pinkie's coat
>"Just let it go Anon"
>You began crying
>You cryed tears, tears that felt like cinderblocks seeping out of your eyes
>"I know it hurts, but it's over now"
"But I loved her..."
>"And as long as you do, you'll never find happiness again"
>You feel numb, yet queesy at the same time
>You forgot how this felt, emotion
>You kept you feelings in check ever since you came to Ponyville
>You were the one to give everyp0ny a smile when none was found
>But now you were broken
>And picking up the pieces seemed too hard for you at first
>You needed help but were too stubborn to ask for it
>Now in the hooves of a friend, you feel all the pieces fixing themselves
>You feel whole again
>You feel like you can finally move on
>So you let go...