Mrs. Maheshwaran Drinking

>You take another swig of the bottle on the table.
>Funny thing about alcohol.
>There are times you remember where it would rejuvenate you- dinners, tastings, small gatherings of close friends...
>Your wedding night.
>Oh god, your wedding night.
>The scent of wine from the reception is pungent, to say the least.
>You’d managed to sneak a bottle from the bar and keep it close for a large part of the reception.
>The speeches seemed to blur by until your father finally found the bottle and confiscated it.
>You remember wondering how he’d finish the rest of it on his own, cuz he didn’t drink.
>That wasn’t important, however.
>You remember the vows you’d given to Doug that night.
>To follow him wherever for as long as you’d live.
>The only other time you remember being that happy was receiving your Doctorate.
>The promise of becoming everything you’d been helped towards achieving, with the freedom from your parents’ stricter rule.
>Damned if it didn’t help you though.
>...
>Another funny thing about alcohol.
>It had a keen tendency to keep you in the state of mind as if nothing had happened.
>Anything to keep your mind off the hospital would be amazing right now.
>Wait.
>There’s a bottle right there.
>Damn, you’re smart.
>Everyone said you were, ever since you were a girl.
>You’ve never had any reason to not believe them.
>But if you’re so smart why did today go down the way it did?
>What went down today even?
>oh yeah.
>You take another siwg.
>It’s funny, sober you wouldn’t be able to go ten feet without crying.
>Heh.
>You’re glad for a brief moment.
>Just as it begins…
>it ends.
>Yuo can’t even remember the last time you had to make the call you made today.
>not like there was anything you could do.
>...
>But youre you.
>This genius of a girl everyone said could go anywhere and do anything
>The girl whose parents helped and oversaw her every step towards medicinal competense.
>those square fuckers.
>...
>Dammit.
>You wanted to be so much more than what you are now.
>A savior.
>A caretaker.
>When something like today happens though
>What could you do?
>if you can’t save her, you can’t save anything.
>and you couldn’t saev him.
>you try to take another swig, but only a few specks of that bitter, putrid drink reach your tongue.
>...
>whoops.
>you dropped it.
>the shattering sound is almost harmonic, tiny pieces of glass scattering themselves across your tile floore.
>You want to get up, but you don’t feel like walking.
>you’d probably trip and cut yourself all over.
>pffft.
>you know cuts.
>you can deal with a few.
>They’re basically your  ...  life.
>well, at least there’s no mopping to do.
>but damned if your smart ass can’t get across the kitchen floor.
>besides
>You’re only as drunk as you think you are.
>That’s a fact.
>you think.
>Made sense when you thought about it.
>you take a step.
>fuck
>you’re on the ground
>shitshithhithtithithisShit
>you can fix this.
>you’re a licensed surgeon.
>anything you want to accomplish, you can.
>...well.
>apparently not everything.
>that’s when you see her.
>Connie.
>She’s in her nightie- looking wide-eyed at something behind you.
>oh wait.
>Shit.
>”Mom...?”

“...Hello, Connie.”
>”I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk like that.”
>wait
>did you say that out loud?
>shit.
>”Mom, you need to stop.”
>SHIT.
>”MOM!”
“Go to bed, Connie”
>”Mom, I heard about what happened.”
>Well
>Sober you would be dead in your tracks
>”Everyone in the ICU told me about how he was when he came in. I don’t think it’s possible to fix a hole like the one he had.”
>Um, yes it was.
>The process is terrifyingly painful, but you can in fact fix holes made by steel pipes.
>wait
>she has no medical experience
>pffft
“I’ll be fine, Connie. Get some sleep.”
>she gives you a worried look.
>and promptly power-walks out of the kitchen.
>you’re still on the ground.
>you shouldn’t have smiled as you said that.
>...
>you think you’re about done being drunk for tonight.
>which means tomorrow the you face your music.
>damn.
>you decide to pass out on the kitchen floor.
>best to just let the hangover take its course.