Living With Colgate: Adrift Part 1

>You are awoken by the squawking of seagulls and the spray of saltwater against your face.
>It all feels too real to be a dream, but... it doesn't make any sense.
>You fell asleep in your warm bed in Ponyville, far away from any large bodies of water.
>So why the sound of waves?
>Why the motion sickness?
>And why are you lying on a rough wooden surface instead of a mattress?

>You keep your eyes shut tight, terrified of what you'll see when you open them, but nothing changes.
>The waves, the rocking motion, and the seagull noises all remain.
>Whatever the fuck is going on, it's real and you'll have to face it.

>After your eyes adjust to the brightness, you are met with an endless expanse of water and sky.
>Just water and sky as far as the eye can see.
>In every direction.
>You're resting on a shoddy, rickety, splintery little raft in the middle of the ocean, with absolutely no land in sight.
>And as if its poor craftsmanship wasn't enough, the raft you're on is also quite tiny, with only enough room on board for you and one pony.
>That pony is Colgate.

>"Anon, you've been completely oblivious to all of my previous attempts to spend quality time with you! I'm sorry I had to resort to this." she says, completely unapologetically.
"No! No, that's bullshit! You've gone too far this time. Do your magic and get us out of here!"
>"That's silly! Teleportation requires some knowledge of where in the world we actually are, and we've been drifting aimlessly alllll night. For, like... eight hours at least."
>You're almost completely lost for words, but the situation begs certain questions.
"Please... for fucks sake, please tell me you brought stuff."
>"Everything we need! A pink travel toothbrush for you, and a blue one for Colgate!" she presents the colourful plastic brushes. "Look, they have our names on them!"
"Food, you fucking sociopath!! Do we have fucking food and water?"
>Colgate giggles nervously, avoiding eye contact with you.
>"Whoops. Knew I was forgetting something," she shrugs. "Silly."
>You collapse onto your knees and stare out at the horizon.
"Oh god! Oh No! We're gonna FUCKING die! We're dead. Doomed, Colgate! Doomed and dead!"
>Colgate seats herself next to you and puts an arm over your shoulder.
>"You're looking at this the wrong way, friend." She says. "This is an adventure. Just you and me on the open sea for days. Maybe weeks! Just Anon and Colgate. All alone."
>She rests her head on your shoulder affectionately and sighs.
>" It's going to be great! You know, Anon... if there was anyone I had to be stuck on a raft in the middle of the ocean with, it would be you."
"I figured. That's why you set this up, right?"
>"Yessir, that's exactly right. I'm glad we're seeing eye to eye. I was afraid you'd be all grumpy."
"Is that why you did it while I was sleeping and unable to object?"
>"You got me."

>A few hours have passed.
>It feels like a few days.
>The position of the sun indicates it's about midday, and your stomach's complaining.
>"I spy with my little eye... something blue!"
"Is it the ocean?"
>"Right again! You're good at this."
>Colgate closes her eyes and lays back, getting comfortable and basking in the heat of the sun.
>It's become very hot since this morning.
>Too hot for February.
"What's with this weather? We've been having freezing rain every day this month, now there's suddenly clear skies?"
>"We're not in Ponyville anymore, Annie! There are no pegasi to cycle the seasons around out here. It's always summer in international waters. Enjoy it!"
"I'm getting burnt."
>"What's an adventure without a little sunburn?"
"I'm fucking hungry."
>Colgate just chuckles.
>"Famine! The mark of a true adventure! How exciting is it that we might be fated to starve to death out here!"
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but we'll die of dehydration long before we starve. I'm already hallucinating."
>It's true.
>You're seeing some kind of ship far off in the distance.
>"Is that a... boat?"
"You see it too?"
>Colgate narrows her eyes, puts a hoof over her brow for shade, and peers out at it.
>She nods slowly. "Yeah, definitely."
"You see it too! Holy shit, we're saved!"
>You strain your eyes to get a better look at the large vessel.
>It's really far away.
>Too far away for them to have spotted your dinky little raft.
>And, it appears to be getting farther away every second.
>"Anon, they're leaving!"
 "What do we do?"
>"Maybe we could signal it somehow! Do you have any flares?"
"What- wh- why would I have flares?"
>It's too late.
>The ship is now just a speck in the distance.
>Your only able watch helplessly as the speck slowly disappears over the horizon.
>Goodbye, salvation.

>More time has passed.
>Two hours is your best guess.
>Your empty stomach, not used to going more than four without food, is growling angrily.
>"I spy with my l-"
"Is it the ocean?"
>Colgate smirks at you. "Let me finish! It's something cube-shaped."
"Huh?"
>You rack your brain, but you can't remember anything cube-shaped being on the raft.
>That must mean it's something in the water.
>Sure enough, scanning the waves, you notice a box bobbing up and down.
"A crate!"
>"Wow, you're an 'I spy" champion! Well spotted!" Colgate says, stomping her hooves in celebration.
"It must have fallen off the ship and gotten caught in the same current as us."
>"A brilliant deduction!"
"Colgate, magic it over here. It could have food or drink inside. Or fishing supplies. Or at the very least, sunblock!"
>She nods excitedly, and her horn starts to glow.
>The crate floats out of the water and over to the raft where Colgate drops it between the two of you.
>You're both practically shaking with anticipation.
"Go on! Open it!"
>She grins as her magical blue aura surrounds the box and works the top off carefully.
>You look inside and can't help feeling a little disappointed.
>Colgate just looks confused.
>Inside the crate, nestled in some packing straw, is a carved wooden statue of a horse's head.
>It's not the most impressive woodwork you've ever seen. Far from it.
>Odd that it would get carefully packed into its own little box.
>You pick it up.
"Huh. Not as heavy as it looks."
>Colgate cautiously nibbles on one of the statue's ears.
>"And just as edible as it looks. That is to say, not edible at all. May as well toss it overboard."
"I guess there's no reason to keep it."
>You take one last look at the carving, before throwing it into the water.
>It seems very buoyant, even for wood.
>As if were hollow inside.
>Probably not important.
>"I spy something blue!" Colgate says.
"The ocean."
>"Damn straight!"

>It's late now.
>Maybe somewhere close to midnight.
>You've been trying to sleep, somewhat successfully, since night fell, but something is keeping you awake.
>Not the uncomfortable surface of the raft, or your nagging stomach pains and dry mouth, it's the sound of little footsteps.
>Not Colgate's; she's snoring peacefully next to you.
>Unless you're losing your mind, something much smaller is walking around on the raft.
>Something is crawling around next to you.
>Something is digging its teeth into your finger.
"OW!"
>You raise your hand and see a small furry creature clinging to the end of it.
>Colgate bolts upright and lights the tip of her horn.
>"What's happening?"
>The thing hanging onto your index finger with its teeth is a small, white, all-too-familiar rat.
>"Winston! Let go of Anon."
>The creature releases its grip on you and drops into its owners hooves, where it scampers up her leg and rests on her shoulder.
>Dark red drops run down your finger and fall down between the planks and into the water.
"Son of a bitch!"
>"Sorry, Anon! I've been trying to teach him to not draw blood when he bites people."
"Has that thing been here the whole time?"
>"Well, I couldn't just leave him at home! Winston is remarkably high maintenance for a rat. He demands a constant diverse pallet of nutrition and nourishment. Also, he's developed kidney problems in his old age, and that means he needs to be drinking lots and lots of water around the clock."
>You suck on your injured finger, wincing from the pain.
>It at least distracts you from your thirst and hunger-
"I'm sorry, did you say you brought him along to make sure he was being properly fed and watered?"
>Colgate nods in confirmation. "Mhm! I just couldn't trust anypony else to take care of him properly!"
"And what have you been feeding him?"
>Colgate rummages around in her bag.
>She pulls out a small piece of cheese and gives it to her pet, who swallows it greedily.
>"Everything a rat needs! I brought lots of cheese and fresh fruit. And a few large bottles of water, because who knows how long we'll be out here."
"Sounds like stuff we could have been eating too."
>"Oh hey, you're right." She brings a hoof to her head. "Duh! Why didn't I think of that! Have an apple."
>Colgate tosses you a shiny red fruit.
>You don't have the energy to get mad, so you just start eating.
>You, Colgate, and Colgate's stupid rat all help yourself to a huge portion of food, and drink a very satisfying amount of water.
>By the time the sun starts to rise, you're actually full enough to stop eating.
>"Lots more where that came from!" Colgate exclaims, fastening her bag shut. "What a great adventure we're having!"
>You almost agree, but catch yourself in time.
>Wouldn't want to encourage her.
>You have to admit to yourself, though, that this isn't as bad as you originally anticipated.
>Actually, things are quite nice and peaceful out here on the open sea, far away from civilization.
>That is, until the world lights up around you enough to reveal that you're not alone out here.
>The huge ship is back, and it's heading straight towards you.
>This time, it's close enough to see in full detail, and your hopes of being rescued are short-lived.
>Atop its tallest mast is a huge black flag flapping in the wind, emblazoned with a white skull and crossbones.
>One glance at Colgate's face confirms that that symbol means the same thing in this world as it does where you came from.
>Pirates.
>The crew is gathered on the edge, looking down on you and laughing maliciously.
>You're a little surprised to see that there are just as many other creatures on board as there are ponies.
>Griffons, minotaurs, zebras, horses- even a few donkeys.
>The one that stands out the most is unmistakably the captain: A pony with a big tricorne hat, an eye patch, and three peg legs.
>His one real leg ends in a curved hook.
>How does he even walk?
>"HOW DO YOU EVEN WALK?" Colgate shouts up at him.
>He remains stoic, just studying you and your tiny raft.
>You notice him noticing the open crate you plucked out of the water the day before, and he snarls ferociously.
>"LISTEN UP!" The captain shouts to his crew. "THESE TWO HAVE SOMETHING VERY PRECIOUS TO ME! BRING THEM ABOARD AT ONCE!"
"...Well, shit."

To be continued...