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- Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
- In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
- and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and
- frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
- backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes,
- I know you.'
- The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She
- again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
- can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
- wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
- The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you
- idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
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