Nerdmares [TG] [Mane 6]

>Equestria's a weird place to live
>they place is pretty much a utopia
>everyone is incredibly friendly
>there's no war or death
>the entire world kinda works like those crime-free upper class neighborhoods
>also you're pretty sure they don't have poverty and people aren't raping babies in their version of Africa
>but they don't even have cell phones
>no computers or tv's
>the best they've got is steam trains
>meaning all of your hobbies like vidya, tv, shitposting,and porn are all kinda non existent
>so you've got to find something to do besides day drinking in Twilight's castle
>you tried sports and actually productive hobbies like woodworking or music
>but you're still a fucking nerd and nothing can stop that
>so you turn to the most low tech nerd stuff you can think of
>tabletop gaming
>you started dicking around with building a system of your own with the intention of roping in a couple of your friends
>that was until spike spoke up about Ogres and Obulettes
>which from your understanding mostly revolves around roleplaying as angsty vampires and werewolves so you stopped listening
>but you did hear him say there was a game shop in ponyville so you stuffed your pockets with bits and went on your way

>there it is
>your local game store
>Game Worker's Shop
>the name doesn't bode well, but it looks too small time to be sueing children so you'll give it the benefit of the doubt
>as you crouch down and push through the doors you take a look inside
>there's actually more than a few ponies around
>some are browsing the hundreds of boxes lining the walls and aisles while others are playing some miniature game at a table in the middle of the store
>a pudgy unicorn mare who seems to be running one of the games gives you a short dismissive glance
>"The Spa's across the street if that's what you're looking for."
>a few of the ponies snicker at the comment
>which is fucking dumb because the spa is halfway across town
>"Gentle Brush! He could be a customer!"
>Gentle Brush just snorts and turns back to her game
>the new pony sighs before approaching you
>"I'm sorry about that, is there something I can help you with? We've got plenty of games from Monopoly to Ogres and Obulettes."
"Yeah, actually. I'm looking to get into miniature gaming, what do you guys play around here? I've heard good things about Hyperspace Hyperwars."
>she smiles and leads you over to an entire wall dedicated to a few select games
>"Hyper is easily our most popular war game, the rules are tough and the community competitive but you can find games everyday here. Which faction are you looking to play?"
>you've got a couple ideas...
>she starts grabbing edition books for the different races and handing them to you
>"Brothers of Combat are good but they only come in metal minis. Porkz are fun if you're not too serious about winning. Cosmo Mareines are all arounders with heavy infantry and they're easy to start. Slugnoids are spammy with big units mixed in. Elkar are glass cannons with the best magic in the game, then there's-"
"That's all good, but I think I know what I'm looking for."
>You had done some research
>and you want big tanks and killer walkers
"Equis Militarum is more my style."

>she winces at that
>"it's a hard army to learn, and playing it will be expensive between the infantry and tank models."
>you know, but Twilight insists on giving you an allowance
>on top of your job and the fact that you live rent free at the castlebrary means you've got dough to spare
>you grab the Equis Militarum codex alongside the core rule book and take a step towards the wall of boxes
>"I'm ready to learn and I've got the bits to spare."
>you grab the Equis Militarum starter set and look it over
>it comes with a tank, two squads of infantry, and a field commander
>not bad, but you grab a special weapons team and a squad of stormtroopers to start off
>Game Worker compliments you on your choices and leaves into one of the back rooms before Gently Brush approaches you
>"Register's this way."
>huh
>guess she works here
>"EQ huh? I play Daemonic Forces myself."
>what, is she trying to be friendly now?
>Well, mama anon always taught you to be the bigger man
"Sounds fun, what do they play like?"
>"fun? They're a serious competitive army. They're not meant to be fun, but they are meant to crush tiny pony armies like yours."
>wow
>condescending and no fun allowed
>you'll be sure to avoid playing with her
>you pay with the intent of leaving as soon as possible
>"I'll be looking forward to seeing you here, colt."
>she watches you leave, giving a toothy and awkward smile
>you really hope you don't have to talk to her too often

>Be Rainbow Dash chillin' on a cloud in the midday
>not doin much really
>except being awesome of course
>but you temporarily stop being awesome when you notice something out of the corner of your eye
>well, Anon's not really hard to notice, he's a big guy
>isn't he?
>wait, did he just walk out of game worker's shop?
>oh no, did Twilight reveal her power level?!
>you gotta get the girls
>and you've gotta get them now

>you thought this whole Hyperspace Hyperwars thing would be more similar to 40k considering cosmo mareines are almost exactly the same as space marines
>turns out there’s a fair few rule differences and the fluff has a lot of divergences
>there’s a lot more walkers in the game, both two and four legged
>flyers too, mostly pegasi and other equivalents
>the four “gods of disharmony” are apparently real, discord says they’re a lot nicer once you get to know them
>also ponies can’t handle grimdark so the Empress is still alive and partying it up with her
daughters
>the rules are honestly a lot more fun, mostly because it’s not made by money grubbing assholes
>ally rules are lax with tons of creative mercenary factions to take points in
>That plus interesting new races that aren't just xenomorphs or just gundam make it more fun
>and it’s a little more balanced, apparently all the factions get good attention and can be used competitively.
>except for brothers of combat, who get kinda forgotten just like sisters of battle
>which is a shame, if there wasn’t such a fetishy dominatrix vibe going on you'd be willing to play them
>you close the core rulebook and exchange it for the Equis Militarum codex
>they’ve got a nice mix of infantry, tanks, and walkers
>they lack good artillery or magic users and don’t have any heavy infantry at all
>but their tanks are the biggest in the game
>you’re definitely going to add some super heavy tanks once you get to that point
>but for now you need to focus on infantry
>you can't just spam tanks like in 40k
>infantry are needed to capture points and tanks suck in melee
>looks like you should get another special weapons team
>mortars seem better than artillery for taking light to mid infantry, and you’ll need a team for taking down armored tanks
>then you'll need a command squad and something for the magic phase
>you'll stop by the store after you finish what you've already got

>painting them is tough
>being four legged they've got a whole lot of crevices to paint in
>not to mention a little more surface area and baseplate to deal with
>but screw the baseplate you'll deal with that later
>now you paint
>you start with the basics
>cadian green, or whatever they call it here
>you can get creative when you've built an army and actually played a couple games
>the field commander, on the other hand, is going to stay around for a while
>she's got flak armor like the rest of them but has a chainsword a pistol instead of a rifle
>that plus the officers cap instead of a helmet marks her as different
>you're going to treat her well


>"What's going on Rainbow Dash?"
>"Yeah Rainbow, what're we doin' here?"
>You look around the map table, so far it's just Twilight and Applejack
>the others should be here soon, but there's no reason to start now
"Earlier today I saw Anon at Game Worker's Shop."
>you look between the two of them, while Applejack just seems confused Twilight is the appropriate amount of horror
>"Rainbow, we go to Game Worker's shop all the time. What's wrong with Anon going there?"
"You don't understand Applejack, Big Mac is tough as nails and plays O&O, imagine Anon in the shop." you suppress a shudder
>she still looks a little confused, meanwhile Twilight is panicking appropriately
>"This is fine, we don't know why he was in there, he could've been buying marenopoly for the crusaders, maybe he was meeting up with somepony? He could've even gotten lost on the way to the spa for all we know."
>you fly over to Twilight and grab her face in both hooves
"That's not the point Twilight! He was in a game shop, alone. He could've met dozens of cuntbeards in an hour."

>Applejack laughs at that
>"That's all? Anon's tougher than he looks, I'm sure he can handle some cursin' and bad manners."
>you turn over to the apple flavored pony beside you
"You don't understand AJ, besides your brother and Spike there's a serious lack of colts playing tabletop games. Anon is definitely cool enough to give it a shot but we gotta ease him into it, there are a lot of asshole players in ponyville. Remember that time Roseluck won the Technology the Dividing tournament?"
>Applejack scowls at the reminder
>"I'll give ya that one, but she ain't bad enough to drive a pony away is she?"
>"Roseluck? No, but plenty of Shining's old friends quit HyperSpace because of the community. They can be pretty harsh towards colts."
>"I never thought of that… I'd hate for anon to miss out on a good thing 'cause of a buncha mares."
>finally she understands
"We'll have to make sure he hasn't been soured by some uncool cuntbeard, we should try and talk to Anon soon."
>both of them nod in agreement
>"Talk to me about what?"
>your head snaps over to the doorway where Anon is standing
>oh yeah
>he lives here
>probably should've picked somewhere else to meet
>"The rest of the girls are here by the way."
>he steps aside letting Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity through
>"Hey Dashie! Watcha want to see us for?"
>you look over to anon who's just standing there
>questioningly
"Well, I uh… Wanted to… talk about..."


>"The thing is..."
>this mare done and got herself in a heap of trouble
>now she's goin' to lie about it and make it a lot worse
>"That thing we wanted to do that day..."
>you look over to anon sympathetically
>the poor colt
>"Like maybe..."
>wait, what's that there on his handy thingies?
>is that paint? Miniature paint?
"We wanted to help anon start playin' pen an' paper games."

>all the girls look over to Applejack
>"What? It's what we were gonna do."
>you're about to say something when a bright pink ball starts jumping up and down to meet you at eye level
>"That's great Nonny! What do you wanna play? O&O? Road Discoverer? Fatal? Jenga?"
>"I was actually looking into HyperSpace HyperWars."
>"THAT ONE'S MY FAVORITE!"
>wait really?
>or is this just Pinkie being Pinkie?
>"I must say that is surprising anon, most colts would consider themselves above such a hobby."
>"My Brother and I used to play a lot if you want any help. I've got all the codexes in the library and plenty of supplements if you're interested."
>oh yeah, you technically live in a library
>"Well, kinda wish you told me that earlier, I already bought the Equis Militarum codex."
>the girls all share a few looks that are indecipherable to you
>pony facial expressions are still hard to understand
>finally Rarity speaks up
>"Anon, I hadn't expected you to be a filthy Equine."
>what? You're not a horse, they're the horses-
>"I play Elkar myself, I suppose I won't be of very much use with how different the armies are."
>Rarity plays HyperSpace?
"Didn't expect you to play honestly, although the Elkar are definitely your style."
>Applejack lets out a little chuckle
>"They're too much her style, she spends more time paintin' than she'll ever spend playin'."
>wait a second, so far you're 3/6 playing hyperspace
>and if you know the girls well enough...
>"Do all of you play HyperSpace?"
>"Heck yeah! I play Khan mareines, fastest flyers in the Equestrium!"
>"I play the Ent Alliance, they're… nice."
>"I play the porkiest porkz you've ever seen!"
>wow
>you hadn't even considered that they might play
>this could be fun