Daverge!

[7:37:45 PM EDT] ZZ: It was a few days after Dave decided to visit Dante. A few days and all Dave was managing to do was to hold up in his room and distract himself with raps and shitty web comics. Currently he was on his bed, wearing an old pair of black pajamas as he sifted through a magazine quietly. Things were a little messy, but not messy enough for him to care and clean up. He'd get to it eventually.
[8:41:21 PM EDT] * Nitro He wasn't sure how long it had been. Time slipped by mostly unnoticed when his every waking moment (that is to say, every moment) was spent desperately trying to pull his brother back to some semblance of lucidity. The attempts (quiet, tense, affectionate prompting, please say something please don't be so silent) were largely unsuccessful -- there were half-attempted, lagging replies, ones that left him restless, disturbed. They echoed, hollow and scared under the surface -- in the better moments, Vergil reflected absently that no one else would hear it. No one else would notice. But he knew better, could hear the little tremor in his voice, in every wavering breath. In every twitch and sigh.
[8:41:24 PM EDT] Nitro: [holy crap]
[8:41:26 PM EDT] Nitro: [RPing more like]
[8:41:42 PM EDT] Nitro: [in which Nitro is really infuriated by every attempt she makes at finishing a sentence]
[8:42:21 PM EDT] * ZZ hugs.)
[8:42:34 PM EDT] * Nitro affectates all over]
[8:52:39 PM EDT] ZZ: Dave yawned as he rolled over, away from the magazine and toward his laptop. He had a desktop yeah, but the laptop was nice for when he didn't want to get out of bed. The desktop was more for his heavy duty comic drawing and sound mixing anyway. Tapping a few keys to bring the computer to life Dave looked to find nobody online, absolutely nobody... Just like the number of people who were around to talk to offline too these days. Nobody... Maybe he should pack up, head out... Try and find somewhere new to hold up... Not like he did any much use in the mansion anymore...
[8:53:07 PM EDT] Nitro: [I'm sorry I'm being so slow I just]
[8:53:17 PM EDT] Nitro: [am having a hard time with getting in the swing of things]
[8:53:23 PM EDT] ZZ: (Is okay.)
[9:19:34 PM EDT] * Nitro And then those few good moments trended downward, pulled by familiar black bog that bit and dragged with every constricted breath (slowly, patiently, unrelentingly), and he found himself quickly compassed by cold, the kind that exuded from his every pore -- controlled, silent emotion, carefully suppressed, a smooth sphere of ice at his core. When Dante fell silent, he curled his unrelenting vice-grip all the tighter around it. He could feel it, pressure building under the still, fractured surface, aimless, furious energy bursting to get out, out, /out/ --
[9:30:37 PM EDT] ZZ: Damnit Dave, don't think like that... You had friends here... They just... Didn't have the right mind to talk to anyone at all... Obviously going for visits wasn't a good idea... Not after last time... So Dave would just... Wait... But damn, he just wanted his friends back, and fuck if waiting would make that happen. It certainly hadn't BEEN working before he got there, so all be damnd if it was working now. He just, hated so much, feeling so fucking useless...
[10:09:54 PM EDT] * Nitro He needed to move. He needed Dante to say something, to relieve the pressurized cold in his chest, because if he didn't -- if he didn't -- he could feel rage and pain twisting together, seeping through veiny scissures, seething -- but Dante was /broken/ and every horrible moment he couldn't shield his mind from that fact, the pressure constricted tighter.
[10:09:58 PM EDT] Nitro: [hRF]
[10:10:01 PM EDT] Nitro: [I'm sorry]
[10:13:00 PM EDT] * Nitro He just -- he couldn't see Dante like this, he couldn't, he wanted everything to be okay, he wanted to /breathe/ again --
[10:14:37 PM EDT] * Nitro ...Not the shallow, frivolous gasp of air he drew just a little too sharply, a little too desperately.
[10:15:48 PM EDT] * Nitro He hoped Dante was asleep.
[10:43:13 PM EDT] * Nitro ...He couldn't stay still. Needed to get out, to move. That was what they said, right? Do something. Don't let it build. Don't let it burst. Don't let it consume you. It /will/ burn you alive, rip you apart.
[10:43:23 PM EDT] Nitro: [I'm sorry someone in TM asked what yiffing is]
[10:43:24 PM EDT] Nitro: [so I]
[10:43:26 PM EDT] Nitro: [uh]
[10:44:28 PM EDT] ZZ: (FFFF It's fine.)
[10:49:13 PM EDT] ZZ: (You want me to put in a little random Daveness?)
[10:49:30 PM EDT] Nitro: [You can if you want to. I am just]
[10:52:28 PM EDT] Nitro: [Incredibly awful tonight wow]
[10:52:47 PM EDT] * ZZ hugs. You are fine.)
[10:52:57 PM EDT] Nitro: [I don't think I can actually focus on this right now if the ridiculous amount of time I've spent attempting to reply is at all telling]
[11:02:12 PM EDT] ZZ: (Is okay, maybe some other time?)
[11:04:22 PM EDT] Nitro: [I think that's gonna have to be the case. It just occurred to me that this is probably in part a result of having a ton of caffeine earlier and being severely sleep deprived, so probably after I've slept off feeling exhausted/generally not good.]
[11:04:49 PM EDT] ZZ: (GO TO BED)
[11:04:56 PM EDT] Nitro: [nO]
[11:04:58 PM EDT] Nitro: [GOTTA]
[11:05:03 PM EDT] Nitro: [GOTTA FINISH STREAM]
[11:05:08 PM EDT] Nitro: [& STUFF]
[11:05:55 PM EDT] ZZ: (>A>)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
[5:26:20 PM EDT] ZZ: (Do you wanna try to continue today?)
[5:26:55 PM EDT] Nitro: [I have to go in a few minutes -- I may be able to tonight though! uvu We'll have to see.]
[5:28:25 PM EDT] ZZ: (Okay! :3)
Friday, February 22, 2013
[8:00:02 PM EDT] * Nitro Trembling more than he'd admit, Vergil shrugged away from his brother, settling him gently on the bed. "I'll be back soon," he murmured lowly, the words coming with practiced, habitual steadiness, and without any thought. He was too busy trying not to think. Not now, he couldn't, he couldn't /break/ /down/ -- not with /Dante/ --

"Don't worry," he added in gentle assurance. He didn't dare wait for a response -- didn't think to do so -- before slipping away from the bed and silently out the door.

He buckled against the opposite wall where there'd been a doorway yesterday. This was /his/ fault, /his/ doing -- if he hadn't let Dante out of his sight -- if he could /fix/ things now -- but no. He was worthless. He had failed, Dante was /suffering/ and it was /his/ /fault/ -- and now it was /worse/. He should've /known/, should've -- should have expected it, should have forced Dave back out the door the moment he flung it open. Dante wasn't ready for that, and he should've /known/ it, better than anyone. Why didn't he /prevent/ it -- /why/ /didn/'/t/ /he/ --

He seethed, buried his eyes in the crook of his arm, gripped his amulet in a white-knuckled vicelike grasp, fist near his throat. The urge to twist the chain, to flay at his own neck, crept down his shoulder, muscles seizing up, trembling. He scraped his sleeve, his hand, roughly across his eyes, stood with his shoulder sliding against the wall. He couldn't...couldn't. For Dante's sake.

(But, for Dante's sake, /shouldn/'/t/ /he/?)

He shoved away from the wall and started up the hallway, stumbling at first, then jerking himself upright. His precision was veritably mechanical, posture militant, and as graceful as he was decisive. But no matter how /impeccable/ he was now, his skin crawled, itched. He thought he'd begun to outrun the ghostly weight lingering around his neck, but now it caught up, clammy and unshakeable on his skin, creeping and begging to be clawed, /crushed/, away.

Why didn't he do something sooner? Why didn't he...why did he let Dave stay, even for a little while? Why was Dave /there/? Couldn't he have just /left/ /them/ /alone/? It was -- it wasn't getting better but it was /stable/ -- and maybe Dante -- he'd always been so strong, so defiant, so undefeatable --

If he'd left them alone. things might've...might've gotten better. They /could/ have. But now Dante was frightened and /confused/ /and/ -- why couldn't he /stay/ /away/? No one had /asked/ him to be there; no one had /wanted/ him there.

He stormed, feeling fury burn like bile in his throat, around a corner, one fist at his side and the other still clenched unshakeably around his amulet. He caught sight of a familiar door and barely thought before moving, not breaking pace, toward it. The burning in his chest grew. He /deserved/ it, didn't he? Deserved to /understand/ the state he'd sent Dante into -- just /what/ he'd done --

The door nearly flew off its hinges, rattling when it slammed shut behind him. Vergil did not let the words grinding in his head burst out as he wanted to, instead staring, expression hard and blank. He took a brief breath -- /control/ /yourself/ -- and spoke as he exhaled, an octave too low and tense, unwavering, high tensile wire drawn until it was ready to snap. /He/ was ready to snap, beneath the calm, controlled demeanor.

Coolly, he stated, "You should /not/ have done that."
[8:00:15 PM EDT] Nitro: [finally writes for this]
[8:00:44 PM EDT] Nitro: [apologizes for dubious quality]
[8:02:24 PM EDT] Nitro: [I wish Skype had rich text so I didn't have to do /all/ /of/ /these/ /slashes/]
[8:20:07 PM EDT] IBLiS: [/dubious/]
[8:20:11 PM EDT] IBLiS: [dubious she says]
[8:20:54 PM EDT] Nitro: [dubious, she says honestly]
[8:21:14 PM EDT] IBLiS: [dubious, she /blatantly/ /lies/]
[8:21:35 PM EDT] Nitro: [incredibly rude and unfounded accusations]
[9:13:48 PM EDT] ZZ: (Oh... Oh wow. ;A; Such beauty.)
[9:27:17 PM EDT] ZZ: Dave continued to flip through his magazine for a minute or two more after Vergil spoke before closing it and looking up. "hm? well kinda late for that man its all been done out no take backs" he said, sititting up and setting the magazine aside. "i did what i did for a reason" the blond added before leaning back on his hands. He didn't want to have this conversation no, but he knew it'd probably happen anyway. What he REALLY didn't want was this to ruin all chances of reviving his friendships with Vergil and Dante... Though, with how things went during his little visit, he wasn't sure anything could really fix that.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
[10:22:46 PM EDT] ZZ: (Is this a thing that's going to be finished ever?)
[10:23:01 PM EDT] Nitro: [Yes!]
[10:23:08 PM EDT] ZZ: (FFF Okay.)
[10:23:13 PM EDT] Nitro: [I'm sorry. I've been doing things with several people lately and]
[10:23:21 PM EDT] Nitro: [/Busy/ and need to /sleep/ between things]
[10:23:23 PM EDT] ZZ: (Is okay. Take your time.)
[10:23:26 PM EDT] Nitro: [uwu]
[10:23:31 PM EDT] Nitro: [I shall reply.]
[10:23:36 PM EDT] * ZZ smooches.)
[10:23:45 PM EDT] * Nitro mwahs affectionately.]
Saturday, March 2, 2013
[12:00:34 PM EDT] * Nitro "I don't /care/."

The response was hissed instantaneously, vehement and furious in stark contrast to the coolness of his previous words -- still controlled, though only just. Vergil narrowed his eyes, expression a hard glare. "Do you /rea/--" He cut off, practically growling under his breath and redirecting his gaze to a corner, then scanning the disorderly mess rapidly. Another restless huff as his eyes snapped back to Dave, the glare a little looser. "Do you /really/ think you were doing anyone any /help/? He's /not/ --"

Not what? The words cut off, strangled. He...he couldn't.

"...He doesn't need to /see/ anyone, right now," he finished distantly, the words only half-directed at Dave. His gaze dropped to a displaced, preserved scorpion on top of a tilted pile of magazines. He snatched it impulsively, stepping over the crisscrossing wires running across the floor and placing it with perhaps more care than was merited on a shelf with others of its kind. The pile of magazines was next.

"...and without /asking/?!" He swiped the magazine Dave had been purveying even as he groused those disconnected words, mind jumping from one line of thought to another in a harried instant. He straightened the stack into a neat, straight pile, perching them on the edge of the desk and shifting them ever so slightly until they were flush with the corner.

...and then stillness. Vergil paused, silent, when he couldn't be bothered to fuss restlessly over it anymore. He planted his hands on the desk, leaning heavily. His next words were little more than a faintly agonized mumble. "Now he's..."

He hardly dared think the end of that sentence, though the fact was inescapable.
[12:02:26 PM EDT] Nitro: [finally gets around to this oops]
[8:27:13 PM EDT] ZZ: (WOW VERGIL, SO, YOU EXPRESS ANGER VIA CLEANING?)
[8:28:22 PM EDT] Nitro: [HE IS LIKE]
[8:28:23 PM EDT] IBLiS: (SUPER OCD)
[8:28:25 PM EDT] Nitro: [A MOTHER]
[8:28:31 PM EDT] IBLiS: (SUPER DUPER OCD)
[8:28:49 PM EDT] Nitro: [On occasion when they don't share a room and he's angry at Dante he goes in Dante's room to yell at him and then starts cleaning]
[8:28:56 PM EDT] IBLiS: (dante's room was always /spotless/ after a heated argument)
[8:28:58 PM EDT] IBLiS: (wOMAN)
[8:29:00 PM EDT] Nitro: [and tells him to clean up this /pig/ /pen/]
[8:29:12 PM EDT] Nitro: [(while picking things up and organizing them)]
[8:29:59 PM EDT] IBLiS: (re-alphabetize his album collection and then re-alphabetize it aGAIN)
[8:30:02 PM EDT] IBLiS: (JUST TO MAKE SURE)
[8:30:32 PM EDT] Nitro: [All Dante has to do when he wants to find something is annoy Vergil]
[8:30:35 PM EDT] Nitro: [which is /easy/ for him]
[8:30:45 PM EDT] Nitro: [& then everything is sPOTLESS]
[8:33:54 PM EDT] ZZ: (... IT'S BEEN TOO LONG, I FORGOT WHAT I POSTED LAST.)
[8:34:39 PM EDT] Nitro: [pfffff]
[8:34:44 PM EDT] ZZ: (Okay, got it.)
[8:36:32 PM EDT] ZZ: Dave sat back on his bed listening, giving not a word of response. He just sat and watched as Vergil decided to clean up, well, someone had to do it, why not angry Vergil? Whatever the case he remaind silent, not giving anything for Vergil to respond to. He'd rather say nothing thant something stupid that would rip them even further apart, because fuck knows he'd manage to spout out some nonsense that'd just dig his grave deeper than before. Sorry friendship, you're gonna get buried, but don't despair, Dave'll be there in the ground with you. Six feet under so up top man because at least you're not alone for once...
Friday, March 29, 2013
[11:15:00 PM EDT] ZZ: Dave sat back on his bed listening, giving not a word of response. He just sat and watched as Vergil decided to clean up, well, someone had to do it, why not angry Vergil? Whatever the case he remaind silent, not giving anything for Vergil to respond to. He'd rather say nothing thant something stupid that would rip them even further apart, because fuck knows he'd manage to spout out some nonsense that'd just dig his grave deeper than before. Sorry friendship, you're gonna get buried, but don't despair, Dave'll be there in the ground with you. Six feet under so up top man because at least you're not alone for once...
[11:15:12 PM EDT] ZZ: (Re-posting so it'll show up in my recent chats.)
Saturday, April 20, 2013
[5:29:16 PM EDT] * Nitro The lack of response didn't matter. Dave was far from Vergil's mind, a faux-heartbeat distant and muffled under the throb and rush of his own in his ears. If only for the moment.

He wanted to rake his claws against the desk, against his own skin, ruthless and loathing. Why not? It didn't matter. Didn't matter /what/ he did -- it wouldn't fix Dante. /He/ couldn't fix Dante. Couldn't fix things /for/ Dante, couldn't even /protect/ him. And everyone else -- what did they matter? /Nothing/, worthless scraps of meat to throw to the ravenous mongrels. What did /he/ matter? Just the same. Except his meat regenerated. /Hah/.

...Why couldn't everything just end? His fingernails raked at the desk as hands curled into fists, leaving grooves in their wake. The bloody splinters jammed violently into his skin didn't mean much. Why should it? He was despicable, didn't have a /right/ to care what happened to himself. Everyone around him would be better off if he'd never been born.

He paused at that thought, feeling it writhe painfully through his chest, scalding and furious. Like someone had pried open his mouth and shoved a white-hot iron down his throat, and he was burning, melting inside out, and all he could do was gag and wrench and choke on smoldering screams. Stop existing. That was an appealing thought.

But -- to tear himself away from Dante (even if it was a mere shadow of his broken brother that he had left) --

He -- he...

It was the scent of his own blood, faint but acrid, suffocating, that coaxed him from the increasingly fraying thoughts. Huh. He deserved that, didn't he? But something in his mind snarled rebelliously, demanded that he lift his hands up (he didn't want to, wanted to drop in a crumpled heap like the spineless cur he was) and show this /filth/ the punishment for his crime, for damaging what was /his/ --

A hiss built in his throat abruptly and he whirled, lashed out and curled his hands relentlessly around Dave's collar, dragging him roughly toward the edge of the bed. He wasn't concerned about jeopardizing friendships, not anymore. What had he ever brought to those friendships? Why should Dave mean anything to him?

"/Listen/ to me." Heat seeped from him in scalding waves, the skin of his knuckles pressing to a pale, vulnerable throat (the knowledge that he could easily rip out said throat was /satisfying/) enough to leave the bright red beginnings of burns where it touched. (This was easy, simple; he didn't have to think, didn't have to feel loathing bite and gnaw around his neck. Anger was easy. Just let the words form.) "You have no right to see my brother, /least/ of all without consulting me." Something suppressed the venomous hiss in his words. "It will not help him. Very little is /helping/ him at this point." He pulled Dave up a little more, face-to-face far closer than he'd ordinarily allow. "/I/ am not helping him, and /you/ certainly can't." His hiss lowered an octave, grating and seething. "I don't know /what/ will help him. Is /that/ what you wanted to hear? I don't know what to do. My brother is /hurting/ and I am little more than worthless, ineffectual /scum/ --"

The sentence cut off, breaking. Simpering little /coward/. He snarled, shaking the /ragdoll/ sharply in his scorching fists. "All that I can do is to sit by and wait and do what meager amount I can to protect him. I am /powerless/ and I know it. Is /that/ what you wanted to /hear/?" The fists tightened as if they were choking his throat shut agonizingly slow, eyes furious, mad, locked on the sleek black shields in front of him but not quite focused. Like he was hardly seeing Dave at all.

It wasn't, after all, /Dave/ he was degrading.

It took him a moment of trembling to seemingly regain cognition, shaking away from whatever spectre had seized him. He twitched, pressed back a sneer. He was worthless. Worthless and rash and /foolish/ -- but right now, he could do this, could offer some little semblance of protection to his brother, a meager attempt at damage control in the wake of all his mistakes. So he gathered himself and steadied his voice, a hard growl. "Do not go near my brother again. Least of all without approaching /me/ first. Are we /understood/?"

This, he could handle. Seizing control of the situation, potentially preventing further damage from coming to his brother -- it hardly required a thought. Suffocating levels of /control/ were what he did best, after all.

(Sometimes just suffocating. And that throat still looked so very fragile, easily within his reach.)
Sunday, April 21, 2013
[10:20:55 PM EDT] * Nitro invited timelyundead
[10:50:03 PM EDT] Nitro: [Skype u ok]
[10:51:17 PM EDT] Hatchstache: (no)
[10:57:58 PM EDT] ZZ: Ow. Fucking ow. Shit. Shit. Shit. Okay sure, he expected him to be pissed, but the skin burning was a bit more than Dave asked for. The smell was starting to reach him, making his nose scrunch up a bit as Vergil seethed and yelled. The entire time he made eye contact with the halfling, though it was hardly noticed from behind his shades. He kept his teeth on his tongue, keeping himself from hissing out in pain (you never showed pain, never), and finally when Vergil stopped talking he took a deep breath through his nose.

Exhaling from his mouth Dave cosed his eyes, keeping himself collected as he slowly steadied himself on the bed. There... Once he was balanced he reached up, putting his hands on Vergil's and opening his eyes once more. "vergil you gotta let go of me man" His words were smooth, holding the faintest, sweetest, southern drawl, the kind that dripped honey from everything he spoke.

"ya gotta let go" A deep breath, in and out, there was no use in trying to calm someone down when ya werent calm yerself. "aint no use in bea'in yerself up man aint doin' no one no good let go" In. Out. "dante aint gonna get any better by ya callin' yerself dumb shit like that 'specially when it aint true man ya aint useless ya aint some dumb cur ya's carin' man carin' so hard it hurts and hurts bad" In. ... Out. "ah aint fixin' to hear anythin' from ya man was just tryin' mah hand at helpin' and shit it didn' work i get that okay? doesnt mean ya can kick yerself hear? ah know ya want to ah know it all too well but ya cant beatin' yerself up aint gonna help one damn bit neither is keepin' everythin' still ya gotta keep tryin' new things man 'cus somethin' has to work here an' we sure as fuck know what yall've been doin' hasn't" In... ... Out... "don' just give up on yerself on him either 'cus that aint gonna do a lick of good for anyone ya hear? ya're both strong and chill as fuck so keep trying ai'ght? i know ya can man"