Tara-Ble Principles (a SheZow fic)

	"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Tara was sitting alone at home on her couch on a Friday night, watching the local news. She had already been enraged by the fact that she got no credit for assisting the police during the riot that occurred following the Megadale Prison break-out. However, to see SheBang, the one responsible for starting that riot, not only appear on the news but in a positive manner simply for assisting SheZow against Major Attitude, completely pushed her over the edge. Bursting out screaming, she readied one of her forearm blasters and fired a shot at the TV, putting a hole right in the middle of the screen and silencing it. Several minutes passed, which consisted of Tara clutching her head and gritting her teeth, thinking about all of the horrible things she wanted to do to the two Glamazons. Tara snapped out of her fantasy when she heard the sound of her phone ringing. It was an older phone, a land line that didn't have caller ID. Letting out a loud groan, she stood up, walked over to it and answered. "Hello?"
	"I see you finally answered your phone, Tara," came the voice of a woman.
	Tara paused. "Who is this?"
	"Dr. Bellamy! You were in my office earlier this month. Remember? Your surgeon?"
	"Oh. Oh! I'm...I'm sorry, Doctor. Today's been stressful," Tara informed.
	"I'm assuming you're still not open to the idea of more therapy?" Dr. Bellamy asked.
	"Pah! Therapy?! Don't you look down on--"
	"Calm down. I just called to make sure you were okay. Your body was in rough shape after that injury you told me about. That energy bomb. You're lucky you've spent so much on your cybernetic enhancements. Most people wouldn't have gotten back up from that," Dr. Bellamy pointed out. "And while I don't mind treating your injuries, you ought to...learn some self-control. What's going to happen if you run out of money for these sessions?"
	"I don't care how much I have to spend. It's better than living out the rest of my life as a shadow!" Tara protested.
	"There's more. What happens if you were to lose a limb? I don't mean dismemberment. I mean LOSING it. Something along the lines of disintegration, or another scenario where you can't retrieve it," Dr. Bellamy continued. "Surgery is my specialty. I know enough to implant, maintain and repair cybernetics, but I DON'T have the aptitude to build new ones from scratch. The doctor who originally designed your cybernetics...he's been missing for years. If you get seriously injured, I might not be able to help. There are other doctors out there who can, but I don't personally know of any others in Megadale."
	Tara froze. Her hand that was holding the phone began to tremble. "Why didn't you tell me that sooner?"
	"I told you from the start that cyborg bodies are difficult to treat since they require two skill sets. It's still a very new concept in this world. So don't be reckless, especially at your age," Dr. Bellamy advised.
	"SheZow and SheBang. I just have to take down those two," Tara growled. "Then, Megadale will welcome me back as its hero with open arms! I'll become the hero again, no matter the cost. I'LL contact YOU if I need your assistance. Good bye." With that, Tara hung up the phone and headed into her kitchen, looking for a drink.

	Dr. Bellamy hung up her phone and sighed. "You're so obsessed with being seen as a hero, that you've forgotten what it is that MAKES a hero..."

	The next morning, the She-Lair was bustling with activity. There was no school as it was the weekend. Kelly was simultaneously working on a hood for SheZow and directing SheBang's flexibility training; since SheBang had relied on teleporting so much, he wasn't very flexible with his body movements compared to SheZow. The training consisted of SheBang playing a solo game of Twister, with half of the circles whited out. Rather than the moves being randomized by spins, Kelly would deliberately call out the move that she thought would be the most difficult for SheBang to perform. Meanwhile, Guy and Maz were watching Saturday morning cartoons, with Maz snapping pictures of SheBang during commercial breaks. "Will you give it a rest, Maz?" Kelly asked.
	"Why? The football team loves SheBang, and I love their money. It makes sense, since SheBang's a cheerleader," Maz pointed out.
	"No, he's not. He got rejected by the squad, remember?" Guy snickered.
	Upon hearing this, SheBang promptly lost his balance and faceplanted on the Twister mat. He then looked up. "I'm BETTER than the squad! And I'll prove it! At the next game, I'm going to kiss every single player on our team! DURING the game!" SheBang proclaimed.
	"I don't think you should do that," Kelly advised. "Some of them have girlfriends."
	"So?" SheBang questioned.
	"Do you even know any of the MOVES used in cheerleading?" Kelly asked. "Like...oh, I don't know. How about 'L'?"
	SheBang formed a letter 'L' with his thumb and index finger, holding it close to his head. "LOSER!"
	"What was that, exactly?"
	"L'."
	"That's NOT what an 'L' in cheerleading is," Kelly informed, sighing.
	"But I see most of the squad doing that all the time in the halls!" SheBang argued.
	Kelly groaned. "I really hope you don't embarrass yourself doing whatever it is you have planned at that game."
	"Don't worry about it! Look, I even have these!" SheBang exclaimed, producing a pair of red pom poms.
	"Hey, put those away!! I KNOW they explode!!" Kelly blurted out.
	"They don't explode RANDOMLY. Only when I press this," SheBang explained, pressing a button on each of the pom pom handles. Three seconds later, he threw them into the air, and they exploded into pink energy bursts. The bursts didn't connect with anything, however. SheBang then produced two more.
	"Will you STOP?!" Kelly growled.
	Maz grinned. "Hey, SheBang, hide the lower half of your face with your pom poms--"
	"They're Pom Bombs," SheBang corrected.
	"Whatever. Anyway, hide the lower half of your face with 'em and look away," Maz finished.
	"Like this?"
	"Yeah, perfect!" Maz exclaimed, taking pictures. Normally, Guy would be in on this as SheZow, but he was too distracted by cartoons.
	"Why do you even need that much money, Maz?" Kelly inquired.
	"Because it needs to be spent on some expensive swag!" Maz answered. "Right, Guy?"
	"Right!" Guy agreed. "We could get a bouncing car!"
	Maz raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? The Shehicle is way more awesome than anything you could buy. Well, besides the color." Maz paused for a few seconds. "Hey, it didn't seem to affect the SHEHICLE's performance, so why don't we pai--"
	"NO," Kelly interrupted. "Maz, you're banned from making any aesthetic decisions in regards to anything SheZow-related. Forever."
	"Awwww...." Maz complained.
	"We interrupt this program for an urgent news update!" came the voice of a reporter from the TV.
	"HEY! JERK! I was watching that!" Guy spat. He threw an empty Fizz Burp can at the TV. Suddenly, he was forcibly transformed into SheZow as the reporter explained the nature of the event, involving a bridge that was intended for pedestrians to use to cross over a busy street having been cut down by something and now blocked the traffic. Many vehicles had been damaged, and some people had been hurt in the collapse and the resulting accidents. "Let's go!" SheZow told. Maz put the camera away and went to put a costume together, but SheBang had already teleported onto the VRS-She and started it up.
	Kelly stood up from her chair. "Hey, SheBang, hold on!"
	"Papa takes that road to work!" SheBang cried. He flipped the manual override switch on the VRS-She to ensure that Sheila couldn't take control of it before twisting the throttle and zooming out of the She-Lair. He had been practicing riding, and no collisions happened.
	Kelly pressed the palm of her hand against her forehead. "If the police are there, and SheBang runs into the wrong ones...."
	"I'll go after him!" SheZow assured, hopping into the Shehicle and starting it up. He stepped on the accelerator and drove off after SheBang, leaving Maz behind.
	"Hey! Wait!" Maz protested.
	"Tough luck, Maz," Kelly commented.
	Sheila appeared on the main screen. "Care to join me in looking over the immediate area? I can almost guarantee that that collapse wasn't accidental."
	"Good call," Maz replied. He jogged over to where Kelly was sitting and sat down in the chair next to her.

	"Papa....Papa...." SheBang murmured, heading toward the downed bridge as fast as he could. He made use of the VRS-She's small size to weave in between traffic. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to keep up on the ground, SheZow transformed the Shehicle into the She-C-10 and flew overhead, slowly gaining on SheBang.
	"SheBang, turn around," Sheila ordered, appearing in hologram form on SheBang's wrist. "It's too risky for you to be out in the open like this. SheZow can handle this situation alone."
	"Stick it in your disc drive!" SheBang growled. The She-C-10 began to descend toward SheBang with its arms deployed, but SheBang produced his Laser Hair Dryer and pointed it up at his ally. He fired a couple of warning shots. "I'm not letting anybody touch Papa!" The She-C-10's arms retracted as SheZow pulled up, ascending and putting some distance between him and SheBang, although continuing to follow him.

	"Kelly, I thought you said we could TRUST SheBang," SheZow complained, appearing on one of the She-Lair's monitors.
	"It's a work in progress, okay? I don't have Morgan completely figured out yet," Kelly replied.
	"Well, SheBang helped out with that thing at the school. Maybe the police won't give him--er, HER, any trouble," Maz suggested.
	"I don't like 'maybe' odds," Kelly sighed. "But I guess that's how it's going to play out this time."
	"I know SheBang well enough to know that he'll escape if he feels he has to," Sheila commented.

	At the site of the downed bridge, the police and paramedics were already on the scene, as well as a fire truck. All of the emergency response crew who weren't handling other matters were working on removing rubble. A tow truck arrived immediately before SheBang did. Skidding to a halt, SheBang jumped off of the VRS-She and teleported to the top of the rubble pile, looking around frantically. One minute passed before SheBang breathed a sigh of relief; Nathan must have either passed through beforehand, or taken another route after the fact.
	"Hold it right there, little girl," came the voice of Boxter, who was among the police in the area. He and Wackerman approached SheBang. "You might look a little different, but you're SheBang, aren't you? Wackerman, let's take her downtown." SheBang suddenly had a scary expression on his face as he picked up a large piece of rubble and glared at Boxter. Before he could make a move, though, SheZow arrived on the scene, jumping out of the She-C-10 and landing next to SheBang. Sheila took control of the She-C-10 remotely, flew it away from the road, transformed it into the Shehicle and parked it next to the VRS-She.
	SheZow cleared his throat. "Now now, officers, SheBang is only here to help clean up. Right, SheBang?" He elbowed SheBang in the side, snapping him out of his trance. SheBang tossed the piece of rubble onto the small pile that had been formed along the side of the road before nodding. "She's in MY custody and doing some community service like a good girl. I mean, it's not like you guys could take her down even if you really tried, right? And forget about trying to imprison her," SheZow pointed out. "Between the two of us, we can have this mess taken care of in no time!"
	"Oh, great, as if one rule-breaking femme fatale wasn't enough..." Boxter muttered.
	Ignoring Boxter, SheZow turned to SheBang. "C'mon, let's lend a hand," SheZow told.
	"Sounds good to me!" SheBang agreed. The two of them got to work on clearing the rubble, leaving the emergency crews to tend to the wounded, redirect traffic, and anything else that needed to be done in the meantime.
	"See? That wasn't so--" SheBang was suddenly interrupted as he was hit from behind by a laser blast and knocked onto his face.
	"Oops! Sorry, my hand slipped!"
	SheZow raised his head and growled. "Tara."
	"GO TARA!" Boxter chimed. The other officers gave him angry looks, and he opted not to say anything more.
	Stepping out from behind the parked fire truck, Tara smiled. "SheZow! What a delightful surprise! And...." Tara paused, looking at SheBang. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" She grinned, locking eyes with him.
	SheBang shrugged. "I don't expect women to remember my name."
	"Are you the one who wrecked the bridge?" SheZow asked.
	"It's not nice to make false accusations," Tara argued.
	"And here I thought old ladies LIKED bridge," SheZow commented. SheBang snickered as Tara clenched her fist and growled. She produced her Laser Mascara as SheZow produced his Laser Lipstick.
	"Hey, SheZow, wanna see something cool?" SheBang asked.
	"What's up?"
	"Bolt Baton!" SheBang exclaimed, producing a red cheerleading baton. "Stiletto Baton!" He then produced a second cheerleading baton, this one a darker shade of red. He connected the two batons together and held the Stiletto Baton end. With a press of the Stiletto Baton's tip, the Bolt Baton began crackling with electricity. SheBang swung the baton to the side with both hands and stood ready. "And THIS is the Cross Baton. One version of it, anyway."
	"Okay, that's pretty cool, but I'm still way better than you at close combat," SheZow bragged.
	"As much as I prefer shooting, I don't want to accidentally hit you," SheBang admitted.
	"You didn't have a problem shooting at me earli--" SheZow paused as Tara rushed at him and swung. SheZow parried Tara's blade with his own. Taking the opportunity, SheBang thrust his baton into Tara's side and electrocuted her before she could react, causing her to fall to her knees. She dropped the Laser Mascara; it deactivated.
	"That was nice and quick," SheBang commented. Tara remained motionless and silent, her head tilted downward. SheBang separated the Cross Baton and put the two batons back in the Cuteility Belt.
	"I'm glad we usually work separately. This would get boring, fast," SheZow added, deactivating his Laser Lipstick.
	"Nails of Annihilation!" Tara exclaimed, firing a volley of nails from each hand at each of her Glamazon foes. Both SheZow and SheBang were hit in the torso, the nails drawing blood. She quickly grabbed her Laser Mascara from the ground and stood up, re-activating it and readying a blaster on her opposite arm. She displayed the blaster arm to her opponents. "LOOK at me. Did you really think a little jolt of electricity would be enough to defeat someone like this?"
	SheBang touched his own chest wounds and looked at the resulting bloody mess on his hand. He then looked to SheZow. "Hey, she knows where the She-Lair is, right? We should kill her."
	"We're not killing anyone," SheZow told. "And Tara...well, the whole thing with her is sort of my fault."
	"I think I'm just going to shoot her," SheBang sighed, producing his Laser Hair Dryer. He fired at Tara, who blocked with the Laser Mascara. Tara fired at SheBang with her own ranged weapon, but SheBang blocked those shots with his Heart Shield. SheBang took aim again.
	"Ah-CHOOOO!" Tara fired a snot ball before SheBang could fire; it hit the Laser Hair Dryer's barrel, clogging it. SheBang tried to fire, but although it was making sounds, no shots were coming out of the weapon.
	"What IS this stuff?" SheBang wondered out loud, making a disgusted face. He tossed the Laser Hair Dryer aside and brought out his two batons again. This time, he connected the opposite end of each one together; upon connecting, a long metal spike emerged from the Stiletto Baton. The Bolt Baton wasn't producing electricity. SheBang held it like a spear; this Cross Baton configuration was longer than the other one.
	"SheBang, that thing looks dangerous," SheZow commented.
	"It's your standard stabby spear. That's the idea," SheBang explained.
	"You're not the only one with more tricks. Turbo Tweezers!" SheZow produced the Turbo Tweezers in his free hand, while reactivating the Laser Lipstick with the other.
	SheBang's right eye glowed orange. "What now, Tara?"

	Meanwhile, in Megamonkey's lair, Megamonkey was sitting in the main chamber, observing the battle between the Glamazon duo and Tara via live footage recorded by one of his monkey minions at the scene. Virunga was watching, as well, while a few monkey minions were loitering. Without hands, Virunga couldn't do much work, so he had taken it upon himself to watch and listen to everything he could, and learn how Megamonkey's enemies fought. "This is a perfect opportunity," Megamonkey commented.
	"For what, Boss?" Virunga asked.
	"Heh heh...to tail Tara back to her residence, of course. I can install a tap in the utility box," Megamonkey answered. "I would rather spend a little time listening to her phone conversations rather than deal with her directly."
	Virunga blinked. "That sort of method seems dated. Don't you have any fancy tech that can do the job easier?"
	"Cost, my dear enforcer. It's all about investment. I usually don't have to resort to spying on phone conversations for anything I do, so I'm not about to waste time and money on a device that I might not get much use out of. The existing methods will do fine," Megamonkey explained.
	"And what if she loses to those two and gets hauled off to a...cage?" Virunga asked. He cringed upon saying the word 'cage'.
	"Oh, I have something special planned, just in case."
	"So, uh...WHY are we tapping her phone?"
	Megamonkey glared at Virunga. "WHY?! I'll tell you why," Megamonkey growled, pointing at Virunga's hand-less arms with his scepter. "Because....I. Want. That. SURGEON!!"

	A powerful tremor could be felt at the scene of the battle. SheZow and SheBang looked from side to side, but couldn't see anything. Tara, not being so easily distracted, fired several shots at SheZow and forcing him to dodge while swinging her Laser Mascara at SheBang. SheBang, however, blocked the slash with his Cross Baton. "How?! A physical weapon like that shouldn't be able to block an energy blade!" Tara protested, pushing her blade even harder. SheBang, making use of his super strength, pushed back suddenly, sending Tara staggering backwards.
	"Even apes can block energy blades these days, Tara," SheZow commented. "Sometimes." He let loose a Sonic Scream, sending Tara tumbling down the road. She hit her head on a parked tow truck. Despite feeling dizzy, Tara forced herself to stand back up.
	"Nails of Anni--" Tara's attack was interrupted by SheBang suddenly teleporting in front of her and driving the spike of his Cross Baton through her shoulder. She screamed out in pain as blood began to flow from the wound. Glaring at SheBang, who had a confident smirk on his face, she pulled back her opposite arm, which held the Laser Mascara.
	SheBang turned to SheZow, who was running toward the two of them. "I think I'm pretty good at close combat now, SheZ--"
	"EYES FRONT, IDIOT!" SheZow yelled. However, it was too late; Tara drove her Laser Mascara's blade right into SheBang's stomach.
	"Just because you're more powerful doesn't mean you know how to fight," Tara muttered. She pulled the Laser Mascara free and turned her attention to SheZow. SheZow frantically looked at SheBang, then Tara, then SheBang again. SheZow put both of his melee weapons away and raised his right hand.
	"Heavy-Handed Super She-Slap!" SheZow yelled, his hand growing. He struck Tara with it, sending her flying off into the distance. A crash could be heard near the point of impact. Not wasting any time, SheZow grabbed SheBang and tossed him into the Shehicle along with the Cross Baton. SheBang was panting; his stab wound was still bleeding heavily as tears formed in his eyes. "Sheila! SheBang, home, NOW!"
	Sheila's hologram appeared on SheZow's wrist. "Right away." She took control of the Shehicle and drove it toward the She-Lair. SheZow jumped onto the VRS-She, started it up, and twisted the throttle, driving down the road toward the spot where Tara had landed. SheZow's She-S-P kicked in, causing him to instinctively swerve to the left. A laser blast flew past him and put a hole in the wall of a building. Not being used to the VRS-She, however, SheZow fell off of the bike and rolled over several times. He coughed a couple of times when he stopped.
	SheZow looked in the direction the shots originated from. "What the--"
	"PRIMARY OBJECTIVE: NEUTRALIZATION BY LETHAL FORCE."

	Thanks to Sheila's precise driving, it didn't take long for the Shehicle to arrive back at the She-Lair. Sheila appeared on the main monitor. "I suggest the two of you get SheBang out of the Shehicle and onto the Shegeneration Module immediately," she told.
	"SheBang?!" Kelly blurted out. She got up and ran over to the Shehicle, followed by Maz.
	"Holy..." Maz gasped, looking at the blood all over the Shehicle's interior. Kelly gagged due to the sight and stepped back. Maz looked over at her; she clutched her head with both hands. Turning back to SheBang who still hadn't said a word, Maz opened the passenger side door of the Shehicle, reaching inside and grabbing SheBang. SheBang's eyes opened. Maz helped SheBang out of the Shehicle.
	"Maz...?" SheBang greeted. He tilted his head, dizzy from the blood loss.
	"You can walk, right?" Maz asked. He wrapped one of SheBang's arms around his own shoulders and helped him get to the Shegeneration Module, which Kelly was setting up.
	"Wait," Sheila advised.
	SheBang sat down on the Shegeneration Module. "It hurts..." He suddenly began to cry.
	"Wait? Why? We need to get him treated!" Kelly protested.
	"I agree. But look at his upper torso. The Shegeneration Module more or less super-speeds up natural healing and can restore broken bones, disinfect...but one thing it CAN'T do is remove foreign objects," Sheila pointed out. "And if we want the healing to go smoothly..."
	"Foreign objects? You mean...."
	"Tara's nails. One of you is going to have to remove them manually," Sheila stated.
	"Oh god, no..." Kelly murmured.
	Maz sighed. "Just sit there and watch. I got this," he assured. After walking back to the Shehicle, he reached into the interior and grabbed SheBang's Cross Baton. He eyed the spike that protruded from the darker half.
	"Maz, NO. What are you going to do with that?" Kelly asked. She began to tremble. "Can't you just use tweezers or something?"
	"I can't stand to see him like this any longer than I have to. Unless you have tweezers within arm's reach right now, I'm using this." Maz twirled the weapon around a few times before gripping it firmly and walking toward SheBang. Kelly did not have any tweezers near her. "He'll be fine. He has super strength." Standing in front of SheBang, who eyed him curiously, Maz looked at the nails. "They're almost all the way in. MAYBE I can..." Maz tried grabbing at the edge of one of the nails with his fingers, but there wasn't enough protruding to get a firm grip.
	"Maz..." SheBang murmured. "Let me see the baton." Maz nodded and handed it to him. SheBang then separated the two parts, dropping the Bolt Baton onto the floor and handing the Stiletto Baton, with the spike still deployed, back to Maz. "It should be...easier to use now."
	Maz nodded. "Thanks. Now, I know you're already in a lot of pain, but...it's gonna get worse." Kelly was curled up on the ground, her face buried in her knees, trying to think about something else.

	SheZow quickly grabbed the VRS-She, stood it up, got on, and sped toward the source of the laser blast. SheBang held the handlebars with only one hand, holding his other hand on his chest wound. Standing in the middle of the road was none other than the Ban-She Mk-1, finally having been repaired. Not only were its cannons re-attached, it still had the hand-held blaster that it had used during the events of the prison riot, which SheZow had never seen it use before. "TACTICAL ASSESSMENT: PRIMARY TARGET SIGNIFICANTLY DAMAGED. ENGAGING," the Ban-She droned.
	"Oh hell, this I do NOT need..." SheZow muttered. Speeding directly toward the Ban-She, SheZow bailed from the VRS-She, letting it slam into the Ban-She's leg. The attack had no effect, but it gave SheZow a chance to run past the Ban-She, forcing it to turn around. "That thing's probably improved...but I have something new this time, too." Remembering that SheBang had discarded the Laser Hair Dryer earlier, he used his super speed to cover as much ground as he could and locate it. The gun was still clogged with Tara's mucus; SheZow produced his Laser Lipstick and used it to disintegrate the mucus. The Ban-She opened fire with its laser cannons, but SheZow used his super speed once again to avoid the blasts. Holding the Laser Lipstick in one hand and the Laser Hair Dryer in the other, he turned his attention to the Ban-She.

	"SheBang....SheBang?" Maz waved his hand in front of SheBang's face. SheBang forced a smile. Maz held the Stiletto Baton in his right hand and touched the tip to the base of one of the nails embedded in SheBang's chest.
	"AAAH!" SheBang cried. Tears streamed down his face. His right eye glowed orange; he fired a beam from the eye; it flew past Maz, scorching one of the walls.
	Maz was unphased. He placed his free hand on SheBang's cheek and rubbed it. "Calm down. You're a good girl, right? SheBang's a good girl."
	"I'm...a good girl?" SheBang replied, smiling brightly.
	Maz then rubbed the top of SheBang's head. "You like that?" SheBang giggled; Maz held his breath and took this chance to drive the Stiletto Baton into SheBang's chest, widening one of the wounds but allowing Maz to remove the nail. Maz exhaled. "Got it."
	SheBang was trembling from the pain. "Owww--" SheBang suddenly stopped complaining as Maz stroked the top of his head again.
	"See? You're fine," Maz assured. He raised the Stiletto Baton and took a deep breath. "Four more."

	Tara walked along the sidewalk, keeping as brisk a pace as she could. Bitterness filled her mind, as she had again failed to take down SheZow, although she knew well enough that the idea of taking on two opponents of SheZow's strength at once was a bad idea. She had used a glob of snot to seal her shoulder wound, but she knew she'd need to see Dr. Bellamy to have it treated properly sometime soon. Although she had no cybernetics in her shoulders, Dr. Bellamy was the only doctor that Tara trusted; some of Tara's enhancements were legally sketchy, and dealing with most doctors was a hassle as a result. Being so focused on getting home, she didn't notice the pair of monkey minions following her. "SheZow...SheBang....even if I die early, I'm taking you two down FIRST."

	SheZow let loose a barrage of shots from the Laser Hair Dryer. The Ban-She tried to block them all with its left laser blade, but was hit several times. SheZow smirked. "I get it. You were built to take ME on. You don't know how to deal with SheBang's weapon!" Squeezing and holding down the other trigger, SheZow began charging up a blast. The Ban-She fired its blaster at SheZow, but SheZow used his Laser Lipstick to block the shots and kept the Ban-She in front of him. "And your other flaw...you don't move fast enough." SheZow continued to block the barrage of blaster fire for a good minute before deciding he had charged the shot long enough. Aiming at the Ban-She's torso, he fired; the Ban-She tried to block the shot, but the force of the blast was too powerful and knocked the Ban-She onto its back.
	"FORCIBLE IMPACT ALERT. ACTIVATING SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE," the Ban-She warned.
	"...What?"

	"SheBang, just--"
	"Maz, look out!" Kelly warned.
	"NOOOO!" SheBang fired another blast of heat vision from his right eye. Maz ducked to avoid it. There were just two nails left in SheBang's chest now, but SheBang's wounds were far more serious as a result. "PAPA!"
	"Yeah, I'm done with THAT..." Maz muttered. He put the Stiletto Baton down momentarily and sat down on the Shegeneration Module next to the hysterical SheBang. Putting his arm around SheBang's shoulder, he rubbed SheBang's upper arm. "SheBang, would you like a nice massage?"
	SheBang perked right up and looked into Maz's eyes. "Uh-huh!" He smiled and blushed.
	"You'll love it. I'll just get behind you and...." Maz suddenly grinned as he grabbed SheBang's pigtails, "...take these ribbons off!"
	"WHAT?!" SheBang blurted out.
	"Maz, don't! Without the super strength, he could die right now!" Kelly warned.
	"Huh? Oh...oh yeah. Right. My bad, SheBang," Maz admitted, laughing a little. "But can you PLEASE try to control your eye beam temper tantrums?"
	"I'm sorry..." SheBang whimpered. He avoided eye contact with Maz.
	"Smile! It's cute," Maz told.
	"...C-cute?!"
	"Cute!" Maz insisted.
	SheBang squealed. "A boy thinks I'm cute!" Maz suddenly grabbed the Stiletto Baton and jabbed it under one of the two remaining nails  "I could just--" SheBang paused as Maz quickly pulled the spike out and stuck his fingers into the bleeding mess, removing a nail. "OWWWWW!!"

	"UNIT WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN THIRTY SECONDS."
	"HEY! NO WAY! You better sto--"
	The Ban-She ignored SheZow's protests. "UNIT WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TWENTY SECONDS."
	"DAMN!" SheZow cursed, putting the Laser Lipstick away and dropping the Laser Hair Dryer. He grabbed onto one of the Ban-She's legs and starting spinning around and around.
	"UNIT WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TEN SECONDS."
	"HAAAAAH!" SheZow let go, sending the Ban-She flying off into the sky, toward the east. The recoil of the powerful throw, in addition to fatigue, made SheZow stumble and drop to his knees. He grabbed hold of the Laser Hair Dryer once more. "Well....at least that thing won't be an issue anymore. Just a few more seconds...." SheZow heard nothing. He quickly jumped from rooftop to rooftop to reach the highest point and looked in the direction that he had thrown the Ban-She. There were no signs of a blast or any smoke, and no sound was heard. "Wait...that thing can turn invisible, can't it?" SheZow groaned. "I can't believe I just got suckered by a ROBOT." Slapping his own forehead, he decided to call it quits for now. SheZow leaped back down to ground level, ran over to the VRS-She and started it up before riding back toward the She-Lair. "But why did it even show up?"

	Finally arriving at home, Tara opened up the front door and stepped inside, locking it behind her. The monkey minions emerged from a bush after about a minute; the one that was holding the camcorder captured footage of Tara's house, making sure to include the house number and the street sign in said footage. The other monkey was simply a lookout. Inside, Tara slumped down on her couch, her eyes feeling heavy. "I'm not getting old, I'm fine, I don't need a n...nap...not old..." The fatigue having finally caught up with her, Tara drifted off to sleep.

	"Yes...YES!" Megamonkey cheered, slamming his fist onto the table as he watched the live footage of Tara's house. He pressed a button on his chair. "FRANKENWEATHER! Prepare a wiretap immediately, for a utility box! Have a minion bring it to the main chamber once it's ready!" He then regarded his invisibility watch. Chuckling, he pressed a button on it, rendering himself invisible. He then pressed another button, deactivating the effect. "Good. Everything I need is in the palm of my hand." He turned his attention to the window as he saw the Ban-She floating, closing in on their location. "I love it when everything works out like this."

	"Hee hee hee!" SheBang giggled as he playfully kicked his legs in the air. Maz was giving him more head rubs following the removal of the final nail. Blood was still flowing from SheBang's numerous wounds, but the physical contact was giving SheBang a lot of energy.
	"That's enough, Maz. Let the Shegeneration Module do its work," Kelly grumbled.
	"What, do you want some of my magic head rubs too?" Maz asked.
	Kelly scoffed at him. "No, I do NOT."
	Suddenly, the VRS-She sped into the She-Lair. SheZow slowed it to a halt near the Shegeneration Module, noticing Maz rubbing SheBang's head. "Awww, look who made a new friend!" SheZow exclaimed, dismounting from the bike and putting the Laser Hair Dryer on the ground next to the Bolt Baton and Stiletto Baton. Maz looked at SheZow and noticed Tara's nails embedded in his chest, too. At this point, SheBang had calmed down and drifted to sleep as the Shegeneration Module's energy began to tend to his wounds.
	"Uh-oh," Kelly commented.
	"SheZow, we're going to need to remove those nails of Tara's before the Shegeneration Module works its magic on you," Sheila pointed out.
	"Oh. Okay then," SheZow replied. He produced the Turbo Tweezers from his Beautility Belt as he felt his chest with his free hand. "Right abooooout...here!"
	"Hey, let me--" Maz suddenly paused as he watched SheZow plunge the blade into his chest and make a single slice horizontally, exposing all of the nails; the pain made SheZow flinch. He plucked them out one by one and dropped them on the floor. Looking at Maz, SheZow raised an eyebrow.
	"What were you saying?" SheZow asked. He grimaced a bit. "That kinda smarts."
	Kelly was in utter shock at what she had just witnessed. "YOU'RE a barbarian!"
	"Oh, shut it. You HEARD what Sheila said, Sis," SheZow argued.
	"LOOK at all that blood! Look at it!" Kelly yelled. "What were you thinking?!"
	Maz suddenly took off his outer shirt and wrapped it around SheZow. "I don't know how long that thing will take to treat SheBang, so try not to move around much, okay? And DON'T transform back to normal."
	SheZow's eyes began to close. "Yeeeaaah. Sure thing, Maz..." Maz helped SheZow over to the couch and sat him down, holding the shirt on SheZow's chest to help control the bleeding. SheZow leaned his head on Maz's shoulder as he fell asleep. Kelly walked over and joined them.
	"I really hope you're not planning on becoming a doctor someday," Maz commented.
	"I was thinking law," Kelly replied. She looked at the sleeping SheZow, put her hand on his forehead, and sighed. "I wonder how things played out, out there..."
	"They played out in a very unexpected fashion. Care to see for yourself?" Sheila offered.
	Kelly turned her attention to Sheila. "'Unexpected'? Sounds interesting. Play it."

	Later that night, Megamonkey, a monkey minion, and a small group of monkey soldiers were journeying to Tara's residence by way of truck. The soldiers were riding in the back, hidden from view so as to not attract attention. The minion was driving the truck while Megamonkey sorted through the parts he would need to set up the wiretap. Once the group had arrived at the utility box, Megamonkey got out alone and motioned for the truck to keep going. It parked in the unoccupied driveway of a house with all of its lights turned off. A single monkey soldier kept watch on Megamonkey, with a laser gun in hand, ready to stun any potentially dangerous passersby. Megamonkey put his tool box behind the utility box and activated his invisibility watch. No longer needing to worry about being discovered, he focused his attention on the task at hand.

	About a couple of hours later, the wiretap had been installed and tested, and Megamonkey and his crew had returned to Megamonkey's lair. Virunga greeted Megamonkey as Megamonkey entered the main chamber. "That was a productive trip," Megamonkey commented. He then turned his attention to the plans he had laid out on the table.
	"Boss, is that something you're going to be building? I thought you were against attacking openly like that," Virunga commented, regarding the plans.
	"Me, personally, yes. I am COMPLETELY against exposing myself to risk, which is why I work behind the scenes," Megamonkey explained. "This....the Ice Caliber 1.0. I'll need someone...someone to take all of the responsibility and, of course, all of the blame if it fails. It's experimental, you see. I've produced smaller versions..." Megamonkey paused, lifting a crate up front the floor and putting it on the table. Virunga's interest was piqued as he looked. Inside the crate was a canister, a pair of belts, and a monocle-like device with a headband and an antenna. "Really not practical for the soldiers, though. The coolant tanks are too heavy and would impact their mobility, not to mention tire them out faster. I'm thinking about selling these to the right buyer; humans might have an easier time using them."
	"PAH! Humans!" Virunga scoffed.
	"Speaking of humans, I do believe I have a candidate in mind to....shoulder the responsibility of the Ice Caliber. Heh heh heh..." Megamonkey chuckled as he sat down in his chair, pondering his next move.