Uplift RPG Session #44

Gator (GM): Dang lag.
Alright I'm ready.

Axl Greez: Alright
Start immediately where we left off?

Gator (GM): Yes.

Match: INTENSE SCREAMING

Martaues: ( Where we last left our "heroes", Match accidentally exploded. )
( Now back to the show. )

Gator (GM): Mat h had just rolled badly and set himself on fire.
(this may be Abit weird, I'm typing from my tablet.tofay.

Martaues: Degenerate

Gator (GM): Yeah, I forgot to set the date again. We'll see how it goes.
Ready to start?

Martaues: Alright
*Yeah

we Begin again!

Match: (ye)

Gator (GM): Match! An explosion from your tank fries your flesh!

Martaues: ( At least you still have your personality )

Gator (GM): Twoactions left!

Match: (Tackle yellow chick, or RUN AWAY...)

Martaues: ( Ninjas can't grab you if you're on fire. )

Gator (GM): Sure.

Match: (wait, the last turn I had was exploding.)

Gator (GM): Ah, should you roll for burn damage?

Match: rolling 1d10
(1)= 1
(Also I think I mannaged to hit them once.)
(End turn.)

Gator (GM): You're not going to relax ll to tackle?
Roll*

Match: (I had no more turns when I exploded.)

Gator (GM): Right, and the are hit badly
Well, their turn.

Martaues: ( Oh yeah, they're shouted down 1 action )
( Intimidation )

Gator (GM): Right.

Martaues: ( Though being speeshul assasshuns, they probably got 11 agility or something. )

Gator (GM): In that. Ass the one in yellow advances in a Dodge roll.

Martaues: ( Don't trust twin pairs with assassos )

Gator (GM): rolling 1d100+40
(66)+40= 106

Martaues: ( Oh joy, and Fireheart's in the way of a shot AND Huwei in the way of shooting yellow. )

Gator (GM): The green shoots venom at Marta's eyes!

Martaues: ( Well aight then. )

Gator (GM): rolling 1d100+40
(11)+40= 51
Do your have any eye protection ?

Martaues: ( Just a logos suit and armor attachment. )

Gator (GM): The. You are blinded and poisoned!

Martaues: ( There an action I can take to try and remove the blindness or am I screwed? )

Match: (Wait, wouldnt the hit miss since its under 60 and aiming at a specific part?)

Gator (GM): Yeah, that's right.
I have a bug.
Well the jet of ve om flies over your shoulder.

Martaues: ( Thank goodness. )

Gator (GM): Round 2!

Martaues: ( Right, down to 4 bullets in the magazine. )
( I have an Rte. Barrel, so +20 added to aimed attacks. )
( Wait, does that mean the aim action or aiming at a specific part? )
( So the aim action would be +10 +20 or just a +20 if I declare to aim at a body part? )

Gator (GM): Aim action.
That count be confusing huh?

Martaues: ( Does the aim stack? If I declare to aim twice, the bonus is now a +60? )

Gator (GM): Yeah.

Martaues: ( Oh wait, the dodge is for yellow. Anyway, using a single aim action, then shooting at Green's head. )
rolling 1d100+30
(43)+30= 73

Gator (GM): Hit.

Martaues: rolling 8d10+80
(5+5+8+4+6+3+8+6)+80= 125

Gator (GM): That is a mean hit that takes her out!

Martaues: ( Considering my last action. Absolutely can't her her now with just a regular shooting action, but I can attempt another intimidation specifically to her or an inspire on Huwei or Match. )
( Going with intimidation. Huwei should be bolting himself. )

Gator (GM): Sure.

Martaues: rolling 1d100+25
(98)+25= 123

Gator (GM): Yeah they can t beat that.

Martaues yells obscenities at the yellow snake, several commands of standing down or ending up the same as the green-clad snake mixed between rabid insults.

Martaues: ( End turn. You're up, toasty. )

Gator (GM): Ball of.cire with rat in center, your turn.
Also, take
rolling 2d10 damage from burning
(7+7)= 14

Match does the only thing he can do now, and that is punch the crap out of her.

Martaues: ( With a dodge of 106? I hope that flame gives a bonus to hitting or at least damage. )

Match: rolling 1d100 + 45
(19)+45= 64
rolling 1d100 + 45
(34)+45= 79
rolling 1d100 + 45
(76)+45= 121

Martaues: ( Gottem )

Gator (GM): Ah, one hut

Match: rolling 1d10 + 4
(2)+4= 6
rolling 1d10 + 40
(2)+40= 42

Gator (GM): 134 damage now
Her turn.

Martaues: ( I'd be intimidated if robocop was yelling at me and a burning rat was trying to kill me by punching me to death while still on fire. )

Gator (GM): Still intimidated she will sttempt to flip the rat into the water.

Martaues: ( That's... mildly helpful. Thanks snake lady. )

Gator (GM): rolling 1d100+40
(18)+40= 58

Match: (It's napalm, needs to burn out.)

Martaues: ( Well shit. You're now the rat version of Clayton. )

Gator (GM): Eell
I'm sure he'll heal fsster

Martaues: ( He'll probably be OK. )

Gator (GM): The yellow lady will Dodge behind huwei and endturn.
rolling 1d100+40
(83)+40= 123
Marta turn!

Martaues: ( Fuckin' Huwei still standing there like a dumass )

Gator (GM): He is fucking!
Ducking
Yeesh

Martaues: ( I need a 64 to hit the snake with two aiming rolls, and I'm not too fond of that. Screw it, Huwei isn't being held down and has a clear runway now. Shouting inspire for him to move his ass. )
rolling 1d100+25
(99)+25= 124

Martaues now beings to scream obscenities at Huwei, commanding him to move now to the boat while the dock is clear.

Gator (GM): Welp
Huwei moves to the boat!

Martaues: ( Will attempt another intimidation roll then keep my last action, then end turn. )
rolling 1d100+25
(74)+25= 99

Martaues returns his swearing barrage onto the snake once again, still enraged by the sudden inflammation of Match.

Gator (GM): rolling 1d100+25
(29)+25= 54

Martaues: ( Keeping final action, end turn. )

Gator (GM): She is still intimidated, but you imagine from her retort in a foreign tongue that this is a do or die thing.
Eddie!
Mat h, your turn!
You just bit the water.

Match Starts swimming to shore.

Gator (GM): Let's say you take 1d10 from burning since you are in water.

Match: rolling 1d10
(6)= 6

Gator (GM): There you go.

Match Looks for a way back to the dock.

Gator (GM): You think you can climb up s pilon.

Match: rolling 1d100 + 45
(11)+45= 56
(failure, at least your allways on my side.)

Gator (GM): Well, we can chalk it up to both being freezing cold and on fire.

Match takes the long way around then.

Match: (end turn.)

Gator (GM): Edward!
Or Fred!
You happen upon the scene!

Martaues: ( Oh shit whatup )

Gator (GM): The yellow lady will lead to Marta!

Martaues keeps watch and readies himself!

Martaues: ( Whazze gunna do )

Gator (GM): rolling 1d100+40
(76)+40= 116

Martaues: ( Stab me )

Gator (GM): She will try to strike you gun away!

Martaues: ( May I attempt to dodge that? )

Gator (GM): Sure!

Martaues: rolling 1d100+35
(46)+35= 81
( Bye gun )
( unfortunately for her, she didn't knock away my OTHER guns! )

Gator (GM): Your gun is knocked several feet away!
Always have backups!
Fred, your turn!

Martaues: ( Who's talking about bullet guns? )

Gator (GM): The gunshow, right
Sorry,match, your turn!

Martaues: ( Wait, isn't it my turn? )
( If Fred's not gonna do anything )

Gator (GM): Yes, that is right.
Sorry, fumbling around here.

Martaues: ( Gonna reperform what I did to the tiger. )
( Leg sweep, but I can't remember the dice or damage for it. )

Gator (GM): Well, she's a snake so alittle different.

Martaues: ( Very true. )
( What's the action for knocking her down onto the ground then? )

Gator (GM): 5d10

Edward H.: (Oh, sorry.)

Match Continues swimming and tring to get back on the dock.

Martaues: ( Gotcha. Rolling to knock down. )
rolling 1d100+35
(18)+35= 53
( Ouch. At least she ran up out of actions. )
( Oh wait, Judo adds +10, right? )

Gator (GM): Oh yeah

Martaues: ( 63, just to make me feel more comfy. )
( Hit or nah? )

Gator (GM): She is flattened out
From your killer leg sweep

Martaues: ( Rad. Rollin' 5d10. Can't remember if Judo adds anything else to it, so I'll just use strength bonus. )
rolling 5d10+35
(5+10+7+6+8)+35= 71
( I think 7 strength is 35 damage points. )

Gator (GM): Correct.
That's alot of damage.
Still not disbled, though.

Martaues: ( Gonna attempt a headlock. Which action is that again? )

Gator (GM): Melee

Martaues: ( Meant name so I could find it in the rules. )
( Was gonna headlock her then do what I did to Ryo's leg, only intend to break it. Not sure if I can with a snake, but y'know. Points for trying. )
( Anyway, rolling to grapple her head or headlock her. )
rolling 1d100+35
(76)+35= 111

Gator (GM): Sorry, I listed it as a sleeper hold

Martaues: ( wrench is the term I'm looking for. )
( But I guess that it's just the +35 damage, no other rolls to the head. )

Gator (GM): Right, you deliver 35 right to the head.
She is damaged all over here.

Martaues: ( Alright. Either that or chocking / strangling. )
( Eh. I'll try a strangle. )
( End turn on strangle action. That needs to be tested out too anyway. )
( Says choking causes 3d10 damage to the head. Nice. )

Gator (GM): Yeah, it's been so long I forgot!
Match!

Match: (yes?)

Match Just keeps on swiming until he can get back onto the dock.

Gator (GM): Ah, you find a ladder, you have one action left.

Match: (can climbing a ladder and throwing mu hatchet count as 1 action?)

Gator (GM): Sure.

Match throws his ice pickax at the snake.

Martaues: ( Sheeit man, don't hit me. )

Match: (or do you think its a bad risk Axl? With my luck and all)

Martaues: ( Nah. )
( Go ahead )

Match: rolling 1d100 + 45
(50)+45= 95

Gator (GM): That's a hit.

Match: rolling 2d10 + 40
(2+9)+40= 51
(and burn damage?)

Gator (GM): Right.

Match: (what is it now? 510?)

Gator (GM): (yeah, you are in a bad soot)

Match: (Well after this I'm dead, you'll wont see match in hell since yall aren't heading there.)
rolling 5d10 +
(6+7+8+7+4)= 32

Gator (GM): Ah, so this isn't off the armor?

Match: I have no armor and only 22hp)

Gator (GM): Ah, Match is in a bad spot.
So you have 22 left or -10 left.

Match: 22 left

Martaues: ( Dammit, after I'm done strangling this snake in what isn't a euphemism, I will find some fucking way to save Match. )

Gator (GM): Well your axe killed the snek.

Edward H.: I'll help match

Martaues: ( He's covered in napalm )

Martaues releases his hold on the snake as the ax ends her life. Ignoring his weapon and Huwei, Martaues rushes to Match. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Martaues: ( What if I try scraping the gasoline off with my augmented arm or something? )

Gator (GM): Sure, why not!

Martaues: ( Would that even work? )

Gator (GM): Let's say it's s restrained blow.
You must deal 21 damage

Martaues: ( Wait. What if I score over that? )

Gator (GM): You are sending layers of charred flesh with robot srn, what you think?

Martaues: ( +35 strength, it's impossible to not score under 21 damage. )

Gator (GM): Well with a restrained hit you just declare what you do. I suppose I was just trying to make some fun.
Should we skip this and just declare he has 1 how?

Martaues: ( Understood, sorry. Just confused a bit. )

Martaues tries an extremely makeshift method of removing the fire by scraping what napalm he can find off.

Gator (GM): Same here.
Match is not just incredibly injured!
Oh, cops are here as well.

Match Screams like a bloody maniac from being basically skinned alive.

Match And Faints fromm all of the pain.

Martaues: ( Eeugh, now he'll look like a naked molerat. Or worse, if whatever he was wearing grafted itself onto his skin. )
( Or wait, did you want Match to die or you cool with me saving him? )

Match: (I'm fine with saving.)

Martaues: ( Anyhoo, cops are here now. Grand. )

Gator (GM): In 24 hours Match has been messed up more than possible.
Fred! The violence has subsided.

Martaues somehow succeeds in his gruesome task of removing napalm and burning skin. Looking up at the cop, Martaues shouts, "Help me get him to a hospital! NOW!"

Gator (GM): You look to the ship and see to pulling away. Huwei and his uncle on on the deck waving.

Martaues: ( Fuckers. )

Gator (GM): The two of you rush him to the clinic.

Martaues: ( Wait... Aw shit, I gotta go back later to get my gun. )

Edward H.: "I know where it is!
(speaking of which, how is my arm?)

Gator (GM): Amongst Matches tattered remains you see a Jade emblem!
Your arm is also in need of medical attention.

Edward H.: (I thought I got it taken care off)

Martaues: "The hell..." Martaues mutters, trying to get a look at the emblem as he follows Fred with rat in tow.

Gator (GM): You got it slightly nmended.
It's still not pretty, he can use it more or less.
You imagine huwei slipped it in his pocket at some point as payment.
That all said, the doctor spits his coffee when you all come rolling in.

Match: (He spills it on match.)

Martaues: ( Deals 1 damage )

Gator (GM): (when does the hurting stop?)

Martaues pockets the jade emblem, then shouts at the doc to get Match to an ER immediately.

Match: (Never, even when he;s dead he'll have to deal with hell.)

Edward H.: "Sorry I had to leave. You fix up the rest."

Gator (GM): The doctor immedisted begins injecting match and trying to repair what he can.
(he leaves for ten minutes=20ft fireball in the sky.)

Martaues: "Fred." Martaues says, grabbing his shoulder. "Stay here, get your arm fixed if you can. But keep an eye on Match. I need to go to the docks... Fuckin' cheap bastards..." Martaues says, grumbling as he leaves to retrieve his gear.
( I'm guessing the snake bodies have been moved too. )

Fred Actaeon watches Match.

Match Just lays there all burn up.

Gator (GM): Heck no, cops are all over the place at the docks.

Martaues: ( Keep my distance then. )

Gator (GM): You think you will need a distraction. To get your gun before they put it in an evidence locker.

Martaues: ( Can I attempt a perception roll to spot my weapon from a distance? )

Gator (GM): Sure.

Martaues: ( Ah, so I got visualization on it already. )
( OK then. )
rolling 1d100+25
(27)+25= 52
( Right, distraction... distraction... )

Gator (GM): It's a rifle, it's not exactly blending in.

Martaues: ( Hm. Is there an alleyway nearby, preferably a deadend that I can scale with the grappling hook? )
( Reaching, but just wanna know. )

Gator (GM): Yes.
Typically there is always an alley around.

Martaues: ( Right, first off: can I preemptively attempt a scale now with the grappling hook? Not go over, or even start if possible, but guarantee an escape )

Match Can only make the sound of utter pain and misery.

Fred Actaeon: "Excuse me, while you are fixing my arm, Can I be neay my rat friend? I need to see how he is doing?"

Gator (GM): The doctor complies. He does insist that you wear a mask, and not breath on him, and no touching.

Fred Actaeon: no problem

Gator (GM): Your arm is mended to 50hp. Afew days and is should be fine.

Match Comes to the reaslisation that his farther was right about him.

Gator (GM): Rat is repaired to 20 hp the doctor says he'll need to be flown intoanderfausr for proper treatment..

Martaues: ( Scale a go? My dumbass plan is to be ready for a scale, shoot wildly with the 10mm gun, then run and hope the team goes to investigate. )

Fred Actaeon: (did you misspell that?)

Gator (GM): "you are very flammable" matches dad, 20xx

Match: (More about him being a failure and discrase tp the family.)

Gator (GM): Yes, with your hook and Bo limbs you scale the 1 story building easily, you have an overlook of the docks.

Fred Actaeon: "Match, can you hear me?"

Martaues: ( Time for a stupid plan. Empty the magazine, pocket the gun, then investigate the docks. )

Match: "PAIN... PAIN..."

Fred Actaeon: "What happened?"

Gator (GM): You hear gunfire in the distance.

Martaues pulls out the guard's pistol from the train job, thankful he still has it in possession. Aiming down at the alley, Martaues empties the magazine into the ground. He quickly pockets the gun and hurries to drop down the opposite side of the building.

Martaues: ( Now to investigate the docks. )

Gator (GM): Mart, you shoot the sky up and the cops panic. They dig for cover before running to the village.

Fred Actaeon: "What happened?"

Gator (GM): (day of terrorism" that's what the headlines are going to read.)

Match: "Fire... hates me... Family hates me..."

Martaues: ( Innocent snake women found dead by the sea )

Fred Actaeon realizes he is in no condition to talk and continutes to watch over him.

Gator (GM): (unexplained fires break out accross area.

Martaues: ( Investigate docks? )

Gator (GM): You investigate the docks.

Match: "Kill me..."

Gator (GM): Just like you left it: two x-rays and your gun. Alot of char marks.

Martaues: ( Perception real quick make sure no one's looking, then pocket the gun and mosey on out. As much as I wanna take whatever the snakes have, I don't want to waste time. )
rolling 1d100+25
(85)+25= 110

Gator (GM): It looks like the police left their scene examination equipment, cameras, bags, and tape mostly.

Match: "Please help me..."

Gator (GM): You find the gun easily. It looks like they already placed a scene number by it.

Martaues: ( Hm... I shouldn't, but... greed is on the character and all. )

Gator (GM): (this is going to get million dollar baby, isn't it?)

Martaues: ( Look into what the green-clad snake has on her person. )

Gator (GM): It appears to be a note in mandrin

Martaues hides his weapon in his bag, peeling off the number sticker the cops placed on it. Looking back at the snake corpses, Martaues hesitates leaving. His sense of greed overtaking him, he decides to quickly check the strangled snake for any items of interest.

Gator (GM): Besides that she has about 2k in leikunn dollars.

Martaues: ( I'm dancing on the line enough as is; leaving the scene. )

Gator (GM): Ah, also about a dozen small knives.

Martaues pockets the cash and note, surprised and thankful of the snake's knives and never having the chance to use them.

Martaues ignores his chances on the yellow snake and decides to hurry out of the crime scene.

Gator (GM): What did match want from Fred?

Match: (To kill or help him, it the pain talking at this point.)
"The pills..."

Gator (GM): The metatetrsrosepsumihinecodone?

Match: (yeah.)

Martaues: ( Am I able to make it back to the hospital? )

Gator (GM): Sure, what do the cops care, youre s space man!

Fred Actaeon: "Mart, what happened?"

Match: (The pills and fucking destroyed, along with all of my shit.)

Gator (GM): Also they are inept. The biggest case they had was someone's pet getting lose.

Martaues: "Nothing. Got what I needed though... How's Match?"

Match: (Should I remove all of my shit?)

Gator (GM): Your shit has been burned off, man.

Fred Actaeon: "No, I mean what happened at the docks when I got there? I heard an explosion!"

Martaues: "Oh... Man... Fuck, Match's gear malfunctioned or something, I don't know. Soaked him in napalm."

Fred Actaeon: "Also, you were fighting a snake?"

Gator (GM): (essentially in one roll it turned into a goofy cartoon.)
You remember the snakes from the boat.

Fred Actaeon: (My character was the clinic. He never saw what happened)

Martaues: "Yeah. Best not talk about it here though. Private's better."

Martaues takes out the note and reads it, saying "I also found this."

Gator (GM): Wait, oh, okay. Then yes your arm is fine. I had forgotten you went to the clinic.
This the snake note?

Fred Actaeon: "what is it?"

Martaues: ( Yeah. )

Match: "Martaues, kill me please..."

Gator (GM): (it's a note written in mandrin. It has a picture if the uncle and Huwei on it."

Martaues: "You know I don't want to do that..." Martaues says solemnly.
"It's just the two guy's picture and... Madrin. Can't read it."

Gator (GM): The doctor comes in flicking s needle, "yep, time for booster"

Match: Moaning.

Gator (GM): He asks Match if he would accept pain killers.

Martaues: "The guy's burnt to near death, why wouldn't he want pain killers, quack."

Fred Actaeon: "You said you were flying him somwhere?

Match: "Kill me..."

Gator (GM): "legal stuff." He says as he stabs Match with the needle.
"We are going to have to load this guy like a potato." He says.

Martaues sighs, rubbing his eyes with his non-augmented hand. "Match, c'mon man... We'll get you fixed, OK? I promise, man."

Gator (GM): "We'll get you moving soon, there is Abit of a delay since apparently they are picking up survivors of a helicopter crash up the mountain. We're you three involved in that?" He asks.
Match, as the pain fades the tension in your muscles uncoil like a spring.

Match Match just starts to lay there, tring to go to sleep now.

Fred Actaeon follows Mart's lead

Martaues: "No. Heard of it, but no."
"We able to go with him? I don't want him bein' flown out and left alone."
"Ain't right."

Gator (GM): "Well, you're going to hear alot of it. They are all loading you up on the same transport out."
Says the doctor.
Probably." Says the doc. "Someone has to pay his bill."

Martaues: "Yeah, yeah... I'll cover that. The least I can do... How much is it?"

Gator (GM): "Oh, who knows. We can email you the bill later. Welp, I'm off to get my crash bag." The doctor says as he sees himself out.

Match: (can the money I had on me been in my back account?)
(Bank)

Gator (GM): Let me roll mercy.
rolling 1d100
(22)= 22
Sure.

Axl Greez: ( OP piece of shit healer )

Match: (TF2 Medic best healer.)
(Well reduce it by 13900$)

Gator (GM): (You wanted doctor from Simpsons and got doctor Nick)

Martaues: ( She a thot looking for attention. I mean, Christ almighty, an angel? )
( O fuck )

Gator (GM): (you mean Mercy?)

Martaues: ( Thotasaures Rex, yes )

Gator (GM): (wait, okay I get the joke.)
Okay, I think we reached a good stopping point.

Martaues: Cool

Gator (GM): As you guys heard, the book is up on Amazon now. I'll look up how to get coupons for you guys.

Fred Actaeon: DrivethruRPG

Gator (GM): Okay, sure.
I gotta reformat for epub anyway.

Edward H.: That will reach the audience much better.

Gator (GM): I hadn't thought of drive thru, actually. I can do it pretty easily, actually I'll work on it.

Martaues: ( Next time, Match is rebuilt from the ground up. He is, the million dollar rat )

Gator (GM): Dun dun duhunn.
cyborg noises
So, xp!

Edward H.: Also, I'll be taking a break. I might come back when this crime stuff is over with.

Gator (GM): 10+20+10. So 40 xp?