for A.R.C

Never have I been asked such an interesting question! Where can I begin? Clearly not with my life story about growing up in the slums of Scotland and riding Nessie to Australia...I hear that story has been taken. No. I must begin in the future. For all great stories are told with an end in mind.

Going forward, we see a man standing on top of a tower. Not any old tower. The Great War against super intelligent goats had clear winners and losers, one of which was all modern human architecture larger than 3.89m must be destroyed. I'm not sure why but I'm assuming it's to do with the fact that the clearer intellectually superior bovidae chose to use a base 17 numeric system. Yes. That's sarcasm. Obviously. As such they decreed it offensive to them and their higher deities.

To get to the point, I'm on a tower that is within the acceptable confines of the G.B.H.O #114 (Goat Bureaucratic Height Ordinance #114 (which is 310 in base 10. Don't forget they use a non-standard prime numeric system. Pfft. Yeah. I know.) ). The goats let us have some land to which we can continue to exist but that portion of the story isn't relevant to answering your question and as such has been left up to the readers imagination.

Give or take some time. I, as my current future self, reflect back on who I was when writing this. Also note, we are entering some inception kind of time loop dream scenario. I hope you have seen the movie so you can keep up. I haven't so from here on out, this is all original material which "hollywood" stole from me. Again, I remind you that time isn't linear so whatever casual relationships you can define don't apply here and thus my statements are logically consistent. Deus Ex Machina...bi--.

You are probably wonder where I'm going with this but I must ask you to stay along for the journey. To lay an effulgence light upon my life to begin to answer the question "Who am I" requires a stable foundation which I am currently laying. I also have chosen to ignore the "bit" part because I am a rebel who doesn't play by your rules and I have once sat on a police car when it was parked. I am the thug life.

Up and atom! I am ready to tell you about myself. I am a third year science student doing physics and mathematics. In hindsight this was a terrible idea but with all these sunken costs. Also adding in the fact I don't know that goats will eventually take over the world and that they are REALLY GOOD at doing abstract algebra, I mean lik 12 units of Einstein good at it, makes the hindsight really easy. I also am trying to become a professional at tinder, learning some philosophy, delivering pizzas and mastering "joking but not really" tone of voice. Apart from this I'm also a big fan of reading the first word of every paragraph.