Kant's Ego: Chapter 2 *Updates Saturday*

Kant's Ego
Chapter 2
If I Ever Feel Better

	The following is one of the few surviving dialogues written by Colin, the famed philosophical student of Alexander. Over three parts, Alexander himself debates the nature of love between man and monster (then known as the beast) with his lively disciple Andreas, who has just become betrothed to a succubus.

This is part 1:

"Hail Alexander! Truly it is a glorious day! For I've finally found the true love I've so long sought."

"Whilst even I might not be so skeptical to denounce love, I must remain so. Andreas, your relationships move faster then even I might record.”

"Worry not, dear teacher, for I've followed your lessons well and have tested such love. The love I truly share with the beast!"

"Quiet yourself Andreas, and make such talk scarce. For I have seen many men make leaps only to taste dirt. Present your evidence and let us debate and uncover the truth of this matter.

“Of course Alexander, I may be a romantic, but I am not a complete fool. Though many of my relationships have failed, they have taught me harsh lessons on the qualities of love. I have deduced them to be Circumstance, Passion, and being Kindred.”

"Very good my disciple, you had me worried that you'd forgotten my teachings, but you appear clear minded and objective: please, continue."

“To test our love I had me and her remain under a tree for an entire days worth. Whilst there, we sat opposite of each other: unable to view or touch the other. We talked the entire time of various things and never once did we grow bored.”

“Hmm, So you both share the same interests and thus were able to overcome boredom and I would not deny that there is passion in your eyes, but what of circumstance? How does this factor into your argument?”

“Yes, circumstance. Honestly I began to include that quality just because of causality and the whims of our luck, but her station does not allow her to stay with me at all hours of the day. Yet she visits me anyway: she denies circumstance.”

“Perhaps it may not be my own station to ask, but what activities is it that a succubus must engage in besides pursuit of a man?”

“She is among the Demon Lords council and is responsible for certain diplomatic matters.”

"Andreas, are you sure your heart is not being swayed by a hand rather then a body?"

"I've no doubt she loves me Alexander.”

"But as a man or an object? Such things are hard for us to discern even among human woman, but the beast? Who has the build to charm a man in ways we have yet to understand?

"I...I apologize master, it appears I've overstepped my bounds. Maybe I will taste dirt, perhaps I have been charmed."

"Fret not disciple, for you've given us a valuable test case. Would you care to wager your own heart? That we might uncover the truth of love?”

"Nothing would please me greater for the transgression I've cost you."

"Very well, ask her to bring you to her own estate. There you could find her room: the soul of any being. Look into it and the company she keeps, but make special case to not bed any of her acquaintances or family. For all's ruined if she discovers your suspicions."

"I will do this, but out of love for her, not for the usefulness."

"Pay mind that you do and I truly hope you might find happiness in each others arms."

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	Much against my own expectations, I awoke. Earlier, I must have suffered a grievous injury in the forest from which I should have died: was this purgatory? As I regained myself I made special effort to keep my head hung, but keep my eyes open as I examined my situation. Chains bound my hands to what I assume was the ceiling and my legs to the floor. I was laid absolutely bare, revealing a large scar across my chest. Had my injury been healed so quickly? or was I asleep much longer then I thought? My gaze shifted lower, the ground was lined in what seemed to be a seamless white tile which contrasted heavily with the black iron of my shackles. Slowly I began to look up to see my worst suspicions confirmed, upon a well adorned bed was 'her'. Strangely though, she seemed to be enthralled in some literature. I was in no position to escape, might as well satisfy my own curiosity.

"What are you reading?"

	She slowly leaned her head up to me, flashing me one of her cool, long, lewd smiles. My body demanded I shiver in response, but though sheer force of will I kept my composure. What would a high-ranking Succubus taste's in literature be anyway? The question kept me sane.

"Oh, seems your awake." Setting her book down on a stack of other tomes, she rose and approached my chained body.

"I've figured out your identity, although I don't know why I couldn't place it before." I locked my eyes to her nose, determined not to give her the pleasure of losing my constitution. Did she really now who I was? If she did, I hardly think I could escape.

	My body surged forward, breaking my train of thought as 'she' placed a lone hand over my left breast.

"Oh, a heart-beat are you still alive, Mr. Leto." My mind cringed at the mention of that name, washing away the excitement I had felt from her touch, I hated it. I would spend days saying that name to myself to try to make peace with it, but it never made the pain stop. The question, however, still burned in my mind.

"What were you reading?" For a moment she seemed a bit fazed, confused even. Perhaps she expected me to crack like an alter boy under pressure?

"Why, it's one of your own works, Mr. Leto. 'On the Behavior of the Demon Lord & Her Daughters, an Analysis of the Supposedly Erratic instinct of the Enemy.' quite a damning piece of work if I do say myself."

	She started to move again, this time to my right. I turned my gaze away from her, that I might steal myself. Even as I felt her hands clasp to my right shoulder and her body press against mine my brain worked frantically to formulate a response. I had to defend my own work.

"Admittedly, the work is incomplete. There were certain omissions and passages added by the church publishers to keep certain facts confidential.”

"Oh, anyone could pick out that, like rot on a good fruit. I'm more interested in what they left unedited, for example..." I felt the hot air from her breath on my ear, she was going to deliver her next thoughts directly.

"The part on fixations." My body shivered now as it fought off her endless onslaught. I knew this could end only one way, but I had a duty and...

"The analysis to particular monster's fetishes? That was almost cut if I hadn't changed fetish to fixation. If I recall correctly, the point of the study was to 'diagnose' why particular monster's enjoyed certain acts of sex and see how it related to their behavior. For example, Dragons have been recorded as enjoying both masochism and sadism, which is odd given that they conduct themselves as proud lords in the public eye. However once they've found a husband they settle down they become submissive and actually prefer forceful husbands. This fundamental change in preference helped us to further understand the Dragon's life cycle and saved an entire city from hellfire.”

"And what about the part on." Her tongue touched the tip of my ear and ringed itself around its borders in a slow swaying motion. I knew what she meant.

"Succubi on the other hand have a preference for what was first deemed corruption, turning a woman's heart to evil or making a man her sex slave. It was only later that, though multiple cases we were able to confirm that in the case of a woman being converted to a monster: it was always a matter of a troubled individual. Struggling with life-choices or circumstance and yearning for a certain someone. In the case of a man, It was discovered that certain Succubi would be spotted in succession and then not at all. The thesis was that they had found their husband. Our entire understanding of succubi from before that point was that they were instigators, beings of pure dark matter without a conscious, rather then just a normal monster."

"Like were really living things and not just demons right?" she stopped licking and stood before me once more I looked her squarely in the eyes and gave her my response.

"No more then the church, your truth of  'love' is as harmful as the churches 'divine command'. They're forceful and simplistic ideologies.

	I could feel her eyes on mine now, her usual air of seductiveness was gone, she was primed for my final nail.
“The world's to complex for there to be one truth.”

	For awhile, nether of us said anything, I had laid bear the hidden thesis of that book before her. Strangely enough: the silence was peaceful. almost like Serra's embrace. Neither of us knew how to proceed, it was just...nice. That was, until she had to speak up and ruin the moment.

"Well if your so sure of that, would you like to put your thesis to the test?"

“Your going to violate me?”

“Yes and I’ll test you a bit, the we'll see who's right.”

	Secretly I was thrilled for all the wrong reasons. She was handing me a golden opportunity to further my own objective, my goal, my fixation. Part of me wanted to propose to this woman right now.

“Alright, I'll play along like one of your victims.”

Her smile faded and a pouty expression replaced it's dominance over her face.

“My 'victims' usually don't divert their eyes. Why don't you actually look at me?”

	I took in a deep breath, then another. I had withheld myself from doing this twice now, the churches teachings may have been a pain, but the focus training had helped me out of a lot of
jams and kept me zeroed in on my goal. For this, I had to discard that and...enjoy this. I scanned her body.

"You have an hour glass figure, the shapely parts of your body are emphasized by the spacing of your clothing, which looks surprisingly regal despite it's, how should I say it? Sluttyness?.”

"I'm very sensitive about my appearance." She grabs her shoulder and gives a tiny little frown.

"Your lips are a light pink and shaped...sensually, while your face seems rather peaceful when it's not being adjourned by that smile."

"Oh whatever do you mean? Better move on altar boy, I’m getting impatient."

"your hair is long and snow white, giving you an almost divine appearance, it helps to bring out the slight purple tint in your skin and the glowing red of the eyes both the ones in your skull and clothing.”

"Well a girls hair is her life, but that's not good enough: stop being objective and just say what your body wants already."

	I had to do this, go all in and lay my chips on the table: all or nothing.

"It's your ears and your under arms."

"Hmm?"

"Your ears are like an elf, they’re elongated and sensitive looking. Ever sense I’ve laid eyes on them I wanted explore their chambers with my tongue and rub the smooth upper surface."

"I..."

"At first I thought I was also fixating on your exposed shoulder, but then I saw those clean arm-pits and...it set me off. It's not like I wanted to touch them, it was just nice to look at, they looked very...clean.”

	I could feel my face blush red, I wanted to cover it and I averted my gaze once more. She took me in her arms and hugged me tightly, resting her head on my breast.

"Now, doesn’t that feel better?”

	I knew it felt really good, but my mind raced to figure out why. I've had sexual intercourse before, I've told woman and monsters alike how I felt about certain parts of their bodies. why did this...

"Guess I’ll have to reward you now for such good behavior." letting go of me, she let herself drop down to face my member. It was still only at half staff, I hadn't let myself go yet.

	She giggled a little to herself, and I could feel her tongue again, this time on my urethral. She started making slow circles again, bringing me to a full erection. Then she let  it go. she looked at it, as if to admire her work. then she brought her cheeks to the tip and began stroking her face across the full length, I pulled down on the chains and my entire body tensed up at the sudden yet gentle action. It felt good.

"Now why were you worried? Yours is actually a bit above average."

"I wasn’t because of UGRGHH"

Her faced has nuzzled itself on my leg and her tongue was now licking at the base of my balls, going around in those maddening slow loops she liked so much.

"and their absolutely full, you haven't attended to your needs for awhile, have you?"

	I'd been working for the past month on that damn village, submitting request after request to visit it for research purposes. The last woman I laid had been a wandering Amazon and she wasn’t nearly this gentle. Slowly, she worked her tongue to the tip of my penis, before plunging in head long. My hips bucked forward in surprise only to be pulled back by her surprising powerful tail now coiled around my waist. Going in with reckless abandon now, she wrapped her arms around my knees and began furiously working my shaft. I did my best to resist the moist assault of her mouth, but I only held off for maybe minutes before my body finally gave up. As my penis shot load after load she slowed down, pumping everything she could out of it.

	I began breathing a little bit more heavily, I really wasn’t expecting it to be that exciting, but then again it is 'her' were talking about. From the corner of my eye I saw her lay on the bed, spreading out on what looked like the most comfortable sheets in the world.

	Suddenly I felt myself drop as the chains holding me up gave way and gravity delivered me to the floor. When I would look up, she was there, on the bed, stark naked.

"It's your turn now."

Panting and gasping, my still throbbing erection didn't steal all my sense. I made a coy smile and responded.

"A victim isn't one to take the initiative.”

"I never ask twice."

	Even as she spoke I could feel the familiar 'spine-licking' sensation that I’d felt in the village. Crap, she's whipping out the big guns. As the dark matter took me in it's grasp and began to consume I was able to make one last snide remark.

"It took a ball of pure sex to make me submit you faker.”

	There was something absolutely savage about what the demon's energy did to me. Later I could scarcely recall half of the lewd actions we preformed, but I shutter to think about how many records we may have broken that night.

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	The aftermath of our shenanigans were impressive to say the least. When I cam to only one word could describe it: “wet”. Everything was soaked in one manner or another and the stench of sex reeked as if it was part of us now. The drenched bed aside, what shocked me more then anything was that I was holding her, and she was clinging to me. Her sleeping face was as helpless as I thought it would be and dare I say: cute? I felt comfortable again, why did these moments always have to end so soon I wonder? Because it wasn’t long until she started to stir and begin to move once again, breaking the embrace. She crawled back to me on the bed with a metal case in hand, upon opening it I could see a fierce pink powder shift within it's confines. This couldn’t be good news.

"I’m going to brand you now."

	I knew what those words meant, or at least I thought I did and I cringed at the thought. The church did branding, sometimes people would die from them. However I could hardly mount an objection, as her accompanying dark matter had me wrapped up before I could protest in a familiar grip. She cracked a small smile, although not nearly as menacing as the ones that came before it. Maybe having sex drained her as much as the rest of us? Fat chance, dipping her tongue to the tip of the powder she slowly came up to me and wrapped me in another hug. Was she quivering? Empathy ran though me, when I felt the electric touch of the gel to my neck. I let out a little gasp and felt not a burst of pleasure, but a slow rising one, as she brought her tongue about half of my neck, stooping and then proceeding to paint the other half. When she finally finished I let out a final moan and squeezed her tight, letting out the last of my strength. Laying down on me once more, she said these final words to me:

"I'll see you again Leto."

	I really do hate that name.
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Dear,
	My Love

	Hardly a day it's been and I miss you. Your slender diabolical touch, the soft feeling of your belly, and the intoxicating grin that adorns your face. Truly it is pain to be parted from you, my small love: your young mind intrigues me so and it's passion burns so bright. Perhaps it is best that we not meet, because I might take you and never let go, dragging you to the place where even god may not look. So I might ravish myself over you body. We will meet again when our suns set under that dark moon, I’ll see to it.

From,
	She who hasn’t a name