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- >Get home from work.
- >Find your blue fluffy unicorn on her back in her safe room, staring at the ceiling.
- >Wait, not staring. Her eyes are glassy.
- >Her legs jut stiffly up into the air.
- >Is she dead?
- >She feels sort of lukewarm.
- >You don't understand what could have happened.
- >She looks to be in perfect condition, other than being so still.
- >You sigh. You really loved her, even if she was a fuzzy moron.
- “Oh Periwinkle, you poor thing...”
- >She perks up the moment you utter her name.
- >”Daddy home! Pewawinka miss daddy!”
- >You blink as she hugs your leg tightly and starts babbling.
- >Your fluffy pony was in standby mode.
- -----
- >Time for dinner.
- >You look down at your orange fluffy pegasus.
- “What shall we eat, fluffy pony?”
- >”Fwuffy wan' paseg...fwuffy wan' swaweb...fwuffy wan' gasedwee...”
- >Your fluffy pony spends the next hour attempting to pronounce 'spaghetti'.
- >”Fwuffy wan' saweghee! Fwuffy wan' wawegsi!”
- >She finally wears herself out and falls asleep, forgetting she was even hungry in the first place.
- -----
- >Have a yellow male earth fluffy.
- >He's the sweetest pet you've ever owned.
- >Always behaves. Doesn't bother you when you ask him not to. Loves you unconditionally.
- >Unfortunately, he's begun eating his own turds.
- >Time in the sorry box has had no effect.
- >Light spankings have failed.
- >Telling him that eating his shit is bad for him makes no difference.
- >One day, you catch him dropping a load in the living room.
- >As usual, he turns around and chows down on it.
- “Fluffy! Why do you keep doing this? Doesn't it taste horrible?”
- >”Bwown nummies tas' yummies! Fwuffy wuv! Fwuffy gif some to daddy!”
- >He picks up a log in his mouth and brings it to you.
- “I don't want this, fluffy.”
- >”Twy! Nummies yummies!”
- >You sigh, going to the kitchen to get a paper towel.
- >As you bend down to pick it up, you notice the smell is different.
- >You pick it up and take a wary sniff.
- >What the hell? It smells like chocolate.
- >It begins melting on the paper towel.
- >It IS chocolate.
- >Your fluffy is so sweet, he's started to excrete candy.
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