Jim sunk into his car seat staring at the red traffic light. Sweat dripped down his forehead, a pain began to swell up inside of his head, a sickness ran through his body as the thought of suicide continued to creep into his every thought it began to consume him. Jim imagined taking a gun from the glove box and ending it where the car was stopped, but he cringed at the thought of his body laying in the filthy car among the old wrappers and fast food containers. He toyed with the notion of cleaning the car up before doing the deed; upon which he threw out the idea of doing a chore entirely. Who knows how long his body would sit in the car and even if they would find it.

	With eyes closed he pondered whether to visit the old tree on the hill near Flathead Lake, or to drive until the car ran out of gas and end it there; his eyes listed down to the gas tank and he knew he would only make it as far as hungry horse reservoir. He pictured the frigid atmosphere of hungry horse,with clothes neatly folded he walked further out closer and closer to the water, as he dipped his toes in the icy liquid he quickly pulled it back, his lungs filled with frigid air burning the back of his throat, he took another step out than another, he looked down as the cold washed over his feet and the mud and the guck forced themselves up between his toes, he shook his feet to clean them before setting them back down into the guck again. Jim waded deeper and deeper, the water climbing his body effortlessly until it gingerly kissed his lips, he held his breath and went under letting the water whisper deafening silence into his ears. Sweeping him away, he imagined the water devouring his very being, pain and all. The thought of nothingness overwhelmed him he quickly snapped out of his daydream. Jim closed his eyes again. He then pictured the tension of a rope, the coarse fibrous texture wrapped around his neck, he gripped the rope tight trailing the noose with his fingers as it lay around his neck, he pictured himself waiting till sundown and then jumping hoping for nothing but the undeniable snap of bone and tracheal tissue. The sound pierced his thoughts and echoed loud startling him enough to force eyes open, the world rushed back to Jim, grim and dreamlike. His thoughts swirling like a typhoon in his head he gasped for air before he remember how to breathe again. Tension which had been chewing at his stomach began to release. Jim sat up quickly and his head began to thump with a sudden and blunt sense of pain. The vision he had drained away to blackness. Jim welled up inside, his eyes filled with tears he did not want to end it all.


 How could she make him feel this way. How could she do this to him. Jim watched the traffic light for any sign of it changing from red to green but it seemed quite reluctant to change anytime soon. Jim thought to himself, "How long was she cheating? Three? Four? Five years? The entire time?"  Did he have to find them together in his bed he thought. The cruel bitch seen Jim walk into the room while her lover pleased her and she moaned louder. The only word Jim let out of his mouth was her name, "***". He recalled leaving work and the commute home from Whitefish. Jim worked as an accountant, but he never accounted for anything like this to happen.