Bleu Garnet

Bleu Garnet
>"Well?"
>"Umm... Well what?"
>"Well, doctor, I would like to know my sonogram results."
>"Oh! Well, we've been able to positively identify gender-"
>"Oh, no no no no, darling! I mean where Spike and I's little bundle of joy is going to come from."
>"... Well.. I think you should know that..."
>"Really now... I simply want to know if I am going to give birth to a baby or if I am going to lay an egg!"

>"There you are, Gar-"
>"Shh shh shhh... I'm concentrating... I need absolute silence..."
>"..."
>"... let's see it now... One hundred carats, Princess cut, flawless... perfect... WAHAHAH! oh, daddy! Isn't it beautiful! I've been rolling it around in my mouth for months now to get to the perfect shape and polish!"
>"Looks pretty delicious if you ask me, but judging the non-edible value of gems has always been more your mother's thing."
>"Daddy..."
>"Well how can I call something like that beautiful when I have you and Rarity?"
>"Daddy, stop! You're making your own daughter want you!"
>"Uhh, alright, yeah, why don't we show that toy your mother."
>"And really what more perfect specimen of a gentleman is there but you? Oh, the wedding would be gorgeous!"
>"Garnet..."
>"And I already know what an excellent kisser you are watching you and mom!"
>"Garnet!"
>"And the babies!"
>"GARNET!"
>"Spikey, what's all the fu- oh, Wahahaah! What is that beautiful piece of work, darling?"
>"It's my paragon diamond that I made for you and dad's anniversary."
>"Rarity, OUR DAUGHTER was having incest fantasies about me."
>"Well who could blame her? But, I should warn you Garnet, I have a fifteen year head start on you and will not go easy just because you're my daughter!"
>"Ugh... You're not helping, Rarity!"
>"Fifteen years? I might just let time take care of you for me."
>"Oh! Struck by my own daughter! But this is but the first blow and the games have just begun! Engarde, mon petite fillie!"

>"Mmmm... Feeling frisky tonight, huh?"
>"Very..."
>"... GARNET?!"
>"Myes, daddy?"
>"Why are you in your mother and I's bed?!"
>"To seduce you."
>"... Well that's refreshingly straight forward but why are you wearing lingerie out of gemstones?"
>"Also to seduce you."
>"Where is your mother?"
>"Right here, darling. I told you it wouldn't work dear."
>"Rarity?! Why did you let our daughter slip into bed with me? ... And why does that lingerie look like you helped make it?"
>"Well, Garnet is after your heart, Spikey, she needs every advantage she can get."
>"... Touche, mother! I concede this round to you!"
>"Gah! Ack! Did you give her the smoke bomb too?"
>"No. That was Pinkie Pie, dear."